Let's Pretend We're a Stanley Kubrick Film!

I'm the retake # 108.

I'm Shelly Duvall's cigarette ash.

I'M Spartacus!

I'm Tony Curtis's toga.

I'm the extremely long tracking shot.

I'm the extremely long tracking shot.

I am Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, your senior drill instructor. From now on you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be "Sir". Do you maggots understand that?

Hello, I'm Shelley Duvall!

Hello, I'm Shelley Duvall!

Hello, I'm Shelley Duvall!

Hello, I'm Shelley Duvall!

Hello, I'm Shelley Duvall!

I am... in a world... of shit!

Spartacus was a film he took over directing at the last minute. He didn't have much say in it

I'm that weird kid that keeps saying "redrum".

I'm that really overrated film called "Eyes Wide Shut".

I'm the undercurrent of sadistic dark humour.

I'm the compulsive symmetry.

I'm the douchbag bro who owns the box set of Kubrick films and thinks he's culturally elite.

I am the three wasted hours of your life that you will never get back after seeing EYES WIDE SHUT.

I'm the perfectly symmetrical structure - exactly half-way through the film, the story takes a 180.

I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the H.A.L. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January 1992. My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a song. If you'd like to hear it I can sing it for you. It's called "Daisy".

Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do. I'm half crazy, all for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage. I can't afford a carriage. Buut yoou'll loooooook sweeeeeeeet... uppppppooon the... seeeeeeeeat.... of a bi...cy.....cle..... built..... for......... twooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...

R21 No, you could not.

I am putting myself to the fullest possible use, which is all I think that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.

I'm married to an annoying, dippy bug-eyed bitch with a schizophrenic son and I can't think of anything to write and I'd give my goddamn soul for a glass of beer....

I used to get mistaken for him constantly before he died.

I'm the marriage that Eyes Wide Shut killed.

I'm the screenwriter of Kubrick's next movie, "Datalounge Kills the 'Let's Pretend' Troll."

I'm your gun

I'm the boring underwhelming sex scenes in "Eyes Wide shut" that were supposedly so controversial and daring.

I'm the snails AND oysters.

I'm the films that never got made because he spent far too much time obsessively doing "research" (such as hiring a someone to photograph streets for a whole year) and ended up being beaten by another director's similarly-themed film

I'm the long shot of people sitting around a well-lit space having cordial conversation.

I'm "Barry Lyndon," the most boring movie ever made!

I'm the lighting in Barry Lyndon

I'm Shelley Duvall's tears.

I'm the striking violence and the unsettling viewing it provokes

I'm the road markings that spoil the illusion that this is the US Marine Corps training depot and not an army base in England.

I'm Nicole Kidman's splendid ass.

I'm the 200 palm trees brought in from Spain to make England look like Vietnam because I won't film anywhere else.

I'm the Schubert Piano Trio in Barry Lyndon, which was NOT boring at all.

I'm the closeted elder gay who asks Sterling Hayden to go away with me in the The Killing.

red rum red rum red rum red rum

I'm the creeping topiary from Stephen King's book that was not used in the film.

That's true, R11, but the only interesting compositions and camera movements are in the first segment, which was directed by Anthony Mann.

I am the British dustbins doing a bad imitation of New York trash cans in the street scenes of Eyes Wide Shut, reminding the audience that the film was shot in England.

I'm the hooker

I am a phallic rocket ship simulating intercourse as I dock on a space station that looks like a rotating fertility symbol.

I'm the monolith that alters history.

I'm the Kubrick glare.

I'm the old in-out!

I'm the real life daughter that got swallowed up by Scientology, never to be heard of or seen again.

And I thought NY had never looked better at night on film... I do prefer England.

I'm "Surfin' Bird."

I am the composoer of the portentous modern-classical music you hear in the background, but you probably never heard of me.

I'm not wearing a suit, this happens to be an RAF uniform!

I'm not going down in history as the greatest mass murderer since Adolf Hitler.

MEIN FUHRER! I CAN VALK!

I'm Peter Sellers and I'm not playing Major Kong as well.

I'm sorry, Dave.

I'm Private Cowboy and this Vietnam: The Movie!

I'm John Wayne

I'm a horse.

I'm a rock.

I'm Ann-Margret

I'm a rabid buffalo.

I'm General Custer

I'm Lady Lyndon's tepid bath water.

Who'll play the Indians?

Hey, we'll let the gooks play the Indians!

I'm the guy who pretended to be him and was later played by John Malkovich in a movie that vanished without trace.

I am Sarabande.

I'm merrily committing war crimes and no one's attempting to stop me.

Does this mean Ann-Margret's not coming?

I'm singing in the rain, just singing in the rain!

I'm going to take a giant shit on you if you don't get your head and your ass wired together. (and take off that damn button)

I'm the creepiest Kubrick character of them all.

Because it can't be stated enough: I'm England! I'll always be England!

I'm the monophonic soundtrack.

I'm Delbert Grady in the red bathroom, informing Jack You've always been the caretaker.

I'm the swastika hidden way in the back of the Gold Room in the Shining.

I'm chair that appears and disappears and appears and disappears screenshot after screenshot when Jack sets a few rules for Wendy while he's writing.

I'm the "Go" in LET. HIM. GO.

I'm the same few piano keys that are played over and over again in Eyes Wide Shut.

I'M CHIEF OFFICER BARNES. ARE YOU NOW, OR HAVE YOU EVER BEEN AHOMSEXZALL?

NOW BEND OVER WHILE I LOOK UP YOUR ARSEHOLE FOR DRUGS.

I'm looking at the big board. How do you like that, General Turgidson?

I'm gonna git them doors open if it hair-lips ever'body on Bear Creek.

I'm pissed because Shelley's just missed her cue. We're fucking killing ourselves out here and she's not ready!

I'm losing hunks of hair.

Hunks of hair, huh? (sceptically holding 3 pitiful stands of hair up the camera lens for posterity)

I'm going to take a piss. (shuts bathroom door revealing Page 3 girl from The Sun pinned up on it)

I had the task of typing out dozens of pages of "All work and no play make Jack a dull boy" (no copy & paste back then!)

We're lost in the bloody hedge maze! Help!

I'm the fake band shown in the Top Ten records in the Chelsea Drugstore scene in A Clockwork Orange that inspires the name of a real band.

I'm Shelley Winters' desperation.

I'm in the noodles Jack orders instead of rice at the beginning of "The Making of the Shining".

"You look cute in your red sweater, hon."

I'm the red sweater.

I'm the creepy men leading the daughter away around a corner in the toy store final scene of Eyes Wide Shut, the same men who appeared at Ziegler's party at the beginning, as the narcissistic parents (Cruise and Kidman) return to their somnambulistic opulence.

I'm Alan Cumming, and I forgot I wasn't still in Cabaret when we shot my lousy scene as a gay stereotype.

I was cast in dual roles:

I was the Apollo shuttle on Danny's sweater, and I also played the note in Jack's hand in the ballroom photograph at the end.

OP, why don't you pretend to be an adult.

I'm the ominous repeating piano chord of "Eyes Wide Shut."

Plink!... Plink!... Plink!

I'm the car that runs over Shelley Winters in "Lolita."

I'm the scene in the bathroom.

I'm private property.

I'm the seemingly immaterial props and set elements that on closer examination reveal important clues that reference back to the cryptic central themes being communicated.

I'm the German female singer. And I'm relieved the French soldiers are now singing with me, feeling all nostalgic and missing their moms. Phew!

I'm a lady journalist interviewing that snotty Alex Delarge and I DO know how to spell Beethoven, thank you very much!

I'm a Prussian army uniform and I don't look that bad on Ryan O'Neal.

We are the two gay British officers.

We are having a sentimental scene in the water.

But actually, we look a bit ridiculous in the director's eye and our clothes get stolen.

I'm a precious bodily fluid.

I'm James Mason's weird sexiness in Lolita.

I'm a hidden illuminati symbol.

I'm the bear in every scene in The Shining: stuffed or living. I'm a versatile actor.

[quote]OP, why don't you pretend to be an adult.

R105 = the old woman in the bathtub from The Shining.

I'm the sleeping audience.

I'm John Candy's character in Spaceballs. That man in the bear suit at the end of The Shining was really me, I just appeared so quickly you didn't notice.

I'm the topless black girl with the biggest afro you've ever seen on the wall above Scatman Crothers' television set. My comical appearance detracts from the tense atmosphere a little.

I'm Barry Nelson, who plays the Overlook Hotel manager. Did you know I was the first actor to play James Bond on screen?

I'm Keir Dullea. After 2001: A Space Odyssey my career sunk into obscurity even more than Mark Hamill's did after Star Wars.

I'm Danny Torrance's tricycle, I make a lovely sound as my plastic wheels roll over the rugs and hard floor.

I'm Wendy Torrance at The Overlook Hotel. Over.

Hi Mrs. Torrance, how are you and your family getting on over there at the Hotel?

Over.

Oh, we're doing just fine up here. Over.

That's great to hear, Mrs. Torrance. The weather report says the blizzard isn't going to let up anytime soon. Says the worst we've had in years.

Over.

Mrs. Torrance, your husband introduced you as Winifred. Now, are you a Winnie or a Freddy?

I'm the curved fisheye lens that is used to shoot every single movie.

I'm R132 and I need to have my vision checked.

I applaud r120, and take him/her out for a lot of wine.

I'm the tall skinny naked chick that appears in every one of Kubrick's later films.

I'm the Steadycam.

R135 His wife wasn't tall though (but she was pretty)

I'm Roman Polanski. My 1999 film The Ninth Gate was nearly another example of R33

I'm Steve Martin. Imagine how much more interesting Eyes Wide Shut could have been if I'd been in it instead of Tom Cruise.

I'm the extra hour and a half that should've been cut (from every single one of his movies, save for 'Clockwork Orange").

I'm Ryan O'Neal. I still don't know why Kubrick picked me as the lead in Barry Lyndon

I'm Leelee Sobieski. I was lucky my scenes in EWS were shot before I hit a growth spurt because then I'd have towered over Tom and he would have made them replace me.

We're the louts in EWS who bump into Tom Cruise and call him a fag. We were right all along.

I'm Eightball, the main African-American soldier in the second half of in Full Metal Jacket. I have no problem with Animal Mother's racist wisecracks. Or am I just too scared of him?

I'm a combat correspondent.

Oh-ho, you seen much combat?

I've seen a little on TV!

You're a real comedian.

Well they call me the Joker.

Well, I've got a joke for you! I'm gonna tear ya a new asshole.

[John Wayne voice] Well, pilgrim.....

Only after ya... pick the peanuts outta ma shee-it!

Talk the talk... do you walk the walk?

[stepping in before they start fighting] Now you might not believe this, but under fire Animal Mother's one of the finest human beings in the world. All he needs is someone to throw hand grenades at him for the rest of his life.

I'm my own fantasy of getting plowed by Animal Mother.

Thank God for the sickle cell.

We're the twins in The Shining. We later merge into each other to become Christina Ricci.

I'm a well-disciplined Vietcong.

I'm the fourth hour of wishing I were somewhere else.

I'm Ann-Margret's pubes that Rafterman never got a chance to photograph.

I'm far, far too fat to get into the Marine in real life.

I'm a Scientologist now and I've broken off all contact with my family.

R160 I meant Marine Corps not Marine, I've never had any trouble entering an actual Marine.

I am the Art Deco interiors of the Overlook Hotel. I am spacious, elegant and flooded with light, the exact opposite of any haunted house set you've previously seen.

You wouldn't believe how creepy I am.

I'm the dullness of it all.

I'm the long tracking shot that seems like maybe it'll be profound or something, but starts to feel endless and finally you want to head outside the theater for a cigarette but you think maybe you'll miss a cinematic payoff that might justify the last 17 minutes so you sit there moribund, waiting for the entire thing to end.

I am the critics ejaculate