If Gravity was made with Joan Crawford and Bette Davis instead of George C and Sandy B, how would it have played out?
And how would it have ended?
Forget about a safe return to earth. The bitchslapping and shadethrowing between the two would have provided enough thrust to push the space station at warp speed to Antares.
Bette would have served freeze-dried rat to Joan.
It would be re-titled:
INVASION OF THE RED WEIRD-OS
The action would have been pretty much nil, since those two have been dead for decades.
Bette Davis's character would've grabbed on to Joan's character's jet pack while kicking in her face mask. After her rival for oxygen was taken care of, she would've proceeded to make her way back to earth...without a second thought about her former colleague.
It would have been called CUNTS IN SPACE.
Bette would sing Defying Gravity while ripping the face tape off of Joan. Joan's spacesuit would have shoulder pads and a cinched waist. Davis would declare the universe a dump.
They would agree on voldka and Pepsi.
Helga, when you polish the satellite you have to MOVE the engines!
If you can't do something right then don't do it at all!
Imagine a serious bitchslap in a zero-gravity environment!
Your enemy doesn't just fall down, she goes spinning out of orbit and falls into the sun.
"Might as well have 'property of NASA' tattooed on my backside!"
"Oh my God. I'm back. I'm home. All the time, it was... We finally really did it ... You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!"
We are switching to the new platform for The DataLounge this weekend. All of our mobile users have been using it for over a week and all first time users have been using it for about a month - which adds up to well over one million users. So we're ready to end this phase of the testing and move everybody to the new site. (more)
And yes, we've changed the look and some of how it operates.
Yes, we know you just *hate* it in well in advance.
Yes, we know we suck.
Yes, we are the biggest suckers that ever sucked.
But it was time for a change and with the huge shift to mobile it was long overdue. We've taken this opportunity not only to update the look but also make major changes under the hood (or "bonnet" if you're either British or pretentious or both). And we have to prepare for 2016 - a presidential election year where we can normally expect to see a 60% jump in traffic (yes, we've seen 5 presidential elections so far…Christ we're old).
The site has a bunch - nay, plethora - of new features which will make the site more usable: better search, the ability to ignore posters and threads, see link previews, to pick up a thread where you left off, spam and malware filtering and more.
If you want you can go explore and see for yourself, Click here.
And while running the tests we've noticed two interesting reactions to the new system - people are spending more time on the site and more people that come stay around longer and look at more stuff. Both good things. Yay!
Possibly we've not slain all the dragons and there will be issues that come up during the switchover. There's a help button in the lower right hand corner of the page which you can use to send us bug reports.
Please include as much information about the hardware (PC, Mac, Tablet, Phone etc), operating system (Windows, Mac OS, Android, iOS etc) and browser (Chrome, Safari, Opera, Internet Explorer etc) that you are using as possible to help us replicate and fix the problem.
Please note that complaints about colors, fonts, icons and the like are not "bugs" - they are design choices that we've made and we expect one or two cases of world-class bitching. But they won't actually cause headaches, scurvy, heart attacks, Restless Leg Syndrome, Morgellon's Disease or the vapors (but have your smelling salts at hand just in case).
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