If Gravity was made with Joan Crawford and Bette Davis instead of George C and Sandy B, how would it have played out?
And how would it have ended?
Forget about a safe return to earth. The bitchslapping and shadethrowing between the two would have provided enough thrust to push the space station at warp speed to Antares.
Bette would have served freeze-dried rat to Joan.
It would be re-titled:
INVASION OF THE RED WEIRD-OS
The action would have been pretty much nil, since those two have been dead for decades.
Bette Davis's character would've grabbed on to Joan's character's jet pack while kicking in her face mask. After her rival for oxygen was taken care of, she would've proceeded to make her way back to earth...without a second thought about her former colleague.
It would have been called CUNTS IN SPACE.
Bette would sing Defying Gravity while ripping the face tape off of Joan. Joan's spacesuit would have shoulder pads and a cinched waist. Davis would declare the universe a dump.
They would agree on voldka and Pepsi.
Helga, when you polish the satellite you have to MOVE the engines!
If you can't do something right then don't do it at all!
Imagine a serious bitchslap in a zero-gravity environment!
Your enemy doesn't just fall down, she goes spinning out of orbit and falls into the sun.
"Might as well have 'property of NASA' tattooed on my backside!"