- I'm the ass-shaped indentation in Archie's chair.
- I'm the piercing sound of four actors shouting over one another.
- I'm the can of [italic]mmm-mmm[/italic] ... in heavy syrup.
- I'm cousin Maude.
"Cousin Maudie's here!"
- I'm that chinky robe Archie doesn't like.
- I'm the make-up counter at Kressler's Department Store.
- I'm the funniest show ever on tv
- I'm the New Pink Tiger!
- I'm the same blood that's in Edith that's in Katherine Hepboin.
- We're Eileen Brennan, Hector Elizondo, Roscoe Lee Browne, and some forgettable actress trapped in an elevator with Archie.
- I'm the cast recording of Jesus Christ Superstar some hippie is playing in jail when Archie gets arrested.
- Meathead , dead from the neck up. Meat Head.
- R11 I'm Archie
"Listen buddy, I dig Jesus Christ and I dug Him long before you weirdos toined him into a superstar!"
- I'm the yamaha Archie wore for Stretch's funeral.
- I'm Gloria's Shirley Temple curls.
- I'm the crickets in Edith's head.
- I'm Edith's cake that caught fire in the oven and possibly saved her life.
- I'm the meal left untouched on Archie's plate because the argument he got into made him forget me.
- Boy the way Glen Miller played
Songs that made the hit parade
Guys like us we had it made
Those were the days
And you knew who you were then
Girls were girls and men were men
Mister we could use a man
like Herbert Hoover again
Didn't need no welfare state
Everybody pulled his weight
Gee our old LaSalle ran great
those were the days
-From memory. Good times.
- I'm the upstairs terlit. Each of my flushes caused the studio audience to laugh hysterically.
- Edith hasn't been the same since her mendapause.
- I'm Vincent Gardenia & Rue McLanahan looking to swing with Edith & Archie.
- I'm all the weight Sally Struthers didn't have, but gained.
- I'm little Rose Marie.
- 'I'VE GOT ALL MY SISTERS WITH ME!!!"
- I'm Divine, not playing "Beverly LaSalle".
- I'm Louise Jefferson's topknot.
- I'm one of the video cameras Norman Lear used to make his shows look like soap operas. Some of my relatives work on "The Carol Burnett Show."
- Im Little Black Elmo
- I'm Seinfeld, and I'm coming for you, AinF!
- I'm the yarmulke Archie wore to Stretch Cunningham's funeral after he insisted Stretch couldn't be Jewish because his name ended with "ham."
- I'm the famous death scene.
- I am the one minute tag at the end of the episode that never gets shown in syndication.
- I'm the DVD box sets that have R33 and his kin reinstated. Plus, no on-screen bugs, no commercials, and original opening credits. Suck it, TV Land!
- I'm the tea set Edith which allows to stay with her closeted cousin's lesbian school teacher partner.
- I'm the Bunkers' porch, which looks nothing like it does in the opening credits outdoor shots. (My cousin is Maude's porch in Tuckahoe.)
- I'm Blanche Hefner. I have a thing for men who talk like Magilla Gorilla.
- I'm the "middle-aged-guy" hat the 30-ish rapist wears. I should have tipped Edith off.
- [R3] made me laugh out loud - thanks for that memory!
- I am the window at the bottom of the steps that has some kind of glaze on it so you really can't see outside.
- I'm Kelcy's Bar. It costs so little to keep me open, a dockworker can afford to buy me out. Also, I changed my name to Kelsey's Bar for some reason.
- I'm the time Edith almost got raped
- I'm a dumb children's chant about a sick baby that Edith recites. After she recites it, the audience will applaud as if she just sang "Not Getting Married Today."
- YAMAHA, R31!
- I'm Holly Near as Mona, fat and pregnant.
Soon after Gloria sees me, she miscarries.
- We're seven savage Jews who won't leave a scrap on your bones!
- I'm Sammy Davis, Jr.'s glass eye, which today rolls around in his coffin.
- R42, No ALMOST! She did get raped.
- I'm the ultra-butch gay guy at Kelcy's who, like the feminine str8 friend of Mike and Gloria, will never be seen again. Nor will I have any impact on Archie's feelings about gays.
- R48, no, she threw the above-mentioned burning cake into the would-be rapist's face and escaped.
Seriously, wasn't that one of the most amazing pop culture moments of the 70s?
- I am those two ancient relics Edith dragged home from The Sunshine Home so they could get married in the livingroom.
My father said the old guy was playing old men when he was a kid .
- I'm Barney, you know, down at Kelsey's Bar? I was also one of Sgt. Bilko's right hand men, AND still found time to be butcher to the Brady's(and that sweet patootie Alice)
- We're the hippie queers playing tonsil hockey right out in the open at the bus station. Edith mistook us for a straight couple!
- I am Carroll O'Connors native Texan accent , replaced with some weird mixture of 1920's Mobster & Betty Boop, which is apparently how everyone in that "terlit" Queens talks.
- I'm Bernadette Peters, inexplicably attracted to a much-older Archie. Little do I realize I'm providing videotaped evidence of my Old Nose that will come back to haunt me.
- I'm the camera that shot the videos of Archie's gun control editorial. "I have a way to solve this problem of airplane hijacking. The first thing you have to do? Arm all of your passengers."
- Stop slutshaming Edith!
- I am all those "dumb pollack" jokes that seem to have completely vanished from modern existence.
Did they all get smart once a pollack got to be Pope?
- I'm Kelsey. Archie Andrews on radio, in McHale's Navy and General Hospital. After 54 years, my real-life brother was the last person seen on ATWT in 2010.
- I'm Cousin Bertha from Ozone Park. Came over as soon as I heard.
- I am Baby Joeys' penis on the worlds' first anatomically correct doll.
I wonder what it looks like now?
- I am the can of Schatz beer that sits on Archie's side table.
I am now on display at the Smithsonian, along with my cousins, Archie and Edith's arm chairs.
You would be able to visit me if I wasn't currently in "shutdown" mode.
- I'm the bed Cousin Oscar died in. Boy oh boy am I glad the Bunkers didn't throw me out.
- I'm the horrible 20-years-later spinoff '704 Hauser' or whatever it was called.
- I'm the mediocre, anodyne sequel "Archie Bunker's Place." I killed Edith Bunker so Carroll O'Connor could get a Peabody Award.
- I'm Edith's entire crazy New Jersey family.
- I'm the copper mold on the kitchen wall that looks like a penis.
- I'm the rug painted onto the studio floor.
- Was anyone else attracted to Edith's rapist? I mean not to get raped by him or anything. The actor, David Dukes, was handsome.
- I'm Mildred "Boom Boom" Turner, and these are my breasts.
- "WE ARE FAMILLYY!!!!!"
- Ah, the beautiful David Dukes. Hot indeed!
- I'm the HOT and SPICY Puerto RRRRRRican-ness of Teresa Betancourt!
- I'm the Puerto Rican guy from "Sanford and Son" and "Barney Miller" who plays a militant Jew who gets blown up in his car.
It is so dramatic, it is the only episode that does not end with audience applauise.
- R69, you're not the only one. I think that was a bit of miscasting on the producer's part. Sure, they wanted to show that it could be anyone but they chose such a handsome guy that it's weird to see him take his shirt off and hope that we'll get to see him take more off.
And thinking, "Hell, I'd let him kiss me even if Edith won't."
- I'm Gloria's red-brown platform boots worn with tan corduroy gauchos with matching vest!
- "Mr. Bonkers, the yoos is in the refreeyerator. Next to the yam behind the yelly."
- I'm Louise Jefferson who exits a scene with a half twirl and tossing my hand in the air- a habit I never do on "The Jeffersons."
- I played Trudy, who marries Billy Crystal's character in the Stivic's living room.
- I'm Teresa and Gloria 30 years later on "Gilmore Girls." We've gained about 500 pounds between us and have different names, but it's us.
- I'm the word "honky," which Archie Bunker was rightly called.
- I'm the imaginary noose Archie puts around his neck when Edith tells her version of a St. Olaf story.
- I'm the viewer who thinks Mike and Gloria are being extremely selfish and stupid by wanting to meet Mike's future boss at the Plaza for dinner rather than have one last meal with the Bunkers.
For once, I am totally on Archie's side.
- I'm a holiday episode which just won't do without being depressing.
- I'm Charles Strouse. I get royalty checks every time this show airs in reruns.
- I am Moose Hansen. Archie admires me because I end an argument by ripping the door off a guy's car.
- I'se de shinola Archie done put on his face at de lodge de day Joey got himself born.
- I'm the answer to the riddle that only Edith could figure out.
The dr. couldn't operate, not b/c he was his father, but b/c she was his mother
- I'm Uncle Caz, I'm here to say that Polish families are just like this (clasps hangs together tightly)
- Did Mike even have parents?
- I'm the black woman Pinky Peterson put in Archie's bed.
- I'm the TV repairman who wouldn't work past sundown on Friday because of the Jewish sabbath.
- I'm the black Jew who joined the lodge.
- I am Archie's brother from the later seasons who would be shocked to learn Archie was an only child if he watched season one.
- I'm Roger who Archie thought could fly through the front winda.
- I'm the NAB Television Code Seal of Good Practice that appears on the end credits under the copyright, even though this show made me obsolete.
- We're Archie's niece Billie and her boyfriend Gary Rabinowitz. It immediately becomes clear that we're no Gloria & Mike.
- r54 -- O'Connor did not grow up in Texas and so did not have a Texas accent.
Look it up.
Are you an idiot?
r54 - "I am Carroll O'Connors native Texan accent , replaced with some weird mixture of 1920's Mobster & Betty Boop, which is apparently how everyone in that "terlit" Queens talks."
- I'm the wig Edith accidentally walked out of the store without paying for, making her think she might be a kleppermaniac.
- I'm the Millennial who really, really wants to get all these jokes, but just doesn't.
- I'm the luscious Zac Efron. I wasn't born yet.[bold]
- I'm remember watching this show as a kid in the '70's. CBS Saturday nights. All In The Family was on at 7 PM (CT), with various shows cycled throught eh 7:30 time slot over the years to take advantage of the AITF lead-in.
After that, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Bob Newhart Show, and the Carol Burnett Show. Now there was some great TV.
Trying to remember some of the shows that followed AITF. Think The Jeffersons started out in that time slot.
My next favorite night was probably Sundays on NBC. Disney's Wonderful World of Color followed by McMillan and Wife (with the gorgeous 40-something version of Rock Hudson) and Columbo.
- I'm [italic]Cosmopolitan,[/italic] and I'm the ruination of nice goils everywhere.
- I'm Sybil Gooly Edith's supermarket cashier gal pal. I always double bag your groceries.
- I'm Gloria's Lima Bean allergic reaction...
I'm Mike's three cups of cola making Gloria lose said bet...
I'm Rue's swinger smile
I'm the echo and reverb in the bathroom when Edith squeals... "Oh, Archie!"
I'm the new and improved intro so people can understand the words...
- I'm noodle frontity and Sodom and Gloccah Morra.
- R55, Peters was matched with Mike on AITF. She was mismatched with Walter on "Maude."
- I'm Bold and I'm annoying as shit.
- Do you think he would have raped Archie too if he had the chance?
- I am Gloria's childhood cereal bowl with the face of Brownie the Clownie on the bottom.
- I am Arthur the Cat.
- [bold]I'm Meathead's hair that collects on the set's floor at an alarmingly increasing rate from season to season.
- [quote]I'm Meathead's hair that collects on the set's floor at an alarmingly increasing rate from season to season.
That's ok, we'll just sweep it all into the same pile as Ediths' hair.
- I am the datalounger wondering now if any other show in TV history had the sounds of audience laughter during the opening theme song.
- I am Carroll O'Connor getting a songwriters credit for the closing theme song since he wrote the lyric, even though it's an instrumental.
- I'm the Reverend [italic]Felcher[/italic], who Archie keeps referring to as "Reverend Fletcher".
- I'm myself being confused as a child thinking Archie from ALL IN THE FAMILY was Archie of ARCHIE & JUGHEAD fame all grown up.
- I'm Frank Lorenzo's collection of Blueboy magazines.
- I'm the gold wedding ring Archie wears on his middle finger.
- I'm Roscoe Lee Browne. I was trapped in a elevator with Bunker as mentioned before. I also played a Frenchmen in a hospital room with Archie.
- I'm Mike Stivic's horrible posture.
- I'm Beverley La Salle. Did they ever catch the fuckers who murdered me?
- I am the can of cling peaches in heavy syrup that Edith dents a car at the supermarket with.
- I'm a running fag.
- I'm Mike Stivic's horrible physique and bad hygiene.
Rob Reiner was SOOOOO unattractive. He and Penny Marshall were a perfect couple.
- For R3 and R125
- I'm the cue cards that Archie is reading from, just over Edith's shoulder.
- We are Kelly Jean Peters and Tim McIntire. We played Gloria and Mike in the first pilot shot for ALL IN THE FAMILY. A second set of actors were cast in a second pilot that was shot. Sally Struthers and Rob Reiner were in the third pilot that was picked up
- I'm the faux dinge on the set walls, designed to look like worn wallpaper.
- I'm the "other" Lionel, who wasn't really funny.
- I'm Irene Lorenzo's toolbox and ukelele.
- Sally Sruthers is starring in national tour "50th Anniversary of 'Hello Dolly.'" In Scranton, October 11-12-13.
- I was in the station wagon filled with nuns.
- I'm Charlotte Rae saying "hunkie" instead of "Honkie."
- I'm a bowl of Cream O'Wheat with cheese.
I'm light, but I bind.
- I'm Marcia Rodd, who played Carol in the "Maude" pilot episode of AITF. I lacked Adrienne Barbeau's cup size and her inability to steal a scene from Bea, so I was canned.
- I'm Mike's moustache. Soon after I left the show it all went to crap.
- I'm the Playgirl that Archie busts Gloria and Edith looking at in the hospital waiting room.
- I'm a homosapien. That's a killer fag.
- I am Zara Cully's temper when as Mother Jefferson she heard Archie refer to her as "Jefferson's mammy".
I AM HIS MOTHER!
- I am the Brownie the Clownie cereal bowl
- We're Chip Oliver and Candace Azzara who played Mike and Gloria in pilot #2.
- I'm RAvenswood 8, their rotary dial phone.
- Wow, Chip Oliver had a nice beefy butt.
- Further investigation reveals that Chip Oliver was a onetime NFL player who dabbled in acting and then became a hippie.
- We're the long-lost additional theme-song lyrics from the two failed pilots:
[quote]Had my twelve-tube radio
[quote]Loved [italic]The Eddie Cantor Show[/italic]
[quote]Where did all that beauty go?
[quote]Those were the days!
- I'm [italic]Till Death Us Do Part.[/italic]
- I'm Danielle Brisebois.
- I'm an ONEGA watch.
- I'm Archie's dress shoes...the nice ones, the Thom McAn's.
- I'm the "Steamboat" banana split that Archie smashed his hand into after sticking straws up his nose at the ice cream parlor to show off for Edith in front of her friend when they were young.
- I'm their house, 704 Hauser Street in Astoria.
- I'm the smell of kernd beef and cabbage that almost killed Edith who the disease the Democrats gave Nixon.
- I'm the cream of wheat with cheese served by Cousin Maude. I was supposed to be light but binding. Alas Maude was wrong again.
- I'm the Pilgrim Maid Ice Cream Parlor, home of the ice cream trick that impressed Edith enough to marry Archie.
- r19, out of character Jean sang "and you NYOO who you were then."
- R156, meet R137.
- I'm the black ceramic panther.
- I'm r157, mistakenly referring to Puritan Made as Pilgram Maid.
- I'm the eyeglasses Archie obviously should be wearing when he refers to an out-of-drag Beverly LaSalle as a "good looking man."
- I'm Gloria's five inch platform shoes that she wears to work.
- I'm Mike's awful hair, which is really a bad wig that's supposed to make pudgy, balding Rob Reiner look college student age.
- "I'm Bernadette Peters, inexplicably attracted to a much-older Archie. Little do I realize I'm providing videotaped evidence of my Old Nose that will come back to haunt me."
Actually, Bernadette was inexplicably attracted to Mike (he was a teacher by then). I think she was one of his students. An attractive blonde waitress, younger than Archie but no spring chicken, was the one with the strange attraction to fat, grey-haired, stupid, racist Archie. I can't remember the name of the actress who played her.
- I'm all the racial epithets that were spewed by the lovable bigot, Archie Bunker: spic, spade, hebe, mick, coloreds, wop, polack, fruit, fag...and so on.
- I'm Beverly LaSalle's wig, being hastily yanked from her head.
- I'm Beverly LaSalle's pair of falsies.
- I'm Beverly LaSalle's pair of falsies.
- I'm Fillmore High, Edith's alma mater.
- I'm Sammy Davis' glass eyeball.
- 'GET UP EVERYBODY AND SING!!!"
- I'm the "rubbery feeling" on the back of Archie's head that told him it was Beverly LaSalle when she leaned over him in his chair and clapped her hands over his eyes saying, "guess who?"
- I'm Gloria's frowny pitiful yet humorous wailing. "a-wuh a-wuh a-wuh wuh"
- I'm R161, misspelling "Pilgrim". (And probably misusing "Made.")
- I'm "The Barkleys", the Saturday morning cartoon meant to be "All In The Family" for kiddies:
- I am Ferguson's Market.
- I'm "sweetie-pie" Roger.
- I'm Priscilla Morrill commenting on Edith's old classmate Buck Evans:
"GOD he was beautiful!"
- The name "Buck Evans" was actually an inside joke. Mike Evans, who played Lionel, was nicknamed "Buck" by Rob Reiner, because he always had a constant stream of hot girlfriends hanging around the set. The writers picked up on that, and named the character Buck Evans.
- I'm "Wait Till Your Father Gets Home," Hanna-Barbera's attempt to capitalize on the success of this show.
- I'm "Joe's World," NBC lame copycat of AITF co-starring K Callen (Cousin Liz the Lez's gf).
- R181 Wait Till Your Father Gets Home, if you watch it, is very much like Family Guy.
- I'm the butcher who fell in love with Edith, then came back to introduce Edith to his suspiciously similar-looking new girlfriend, Judith.
- I'm Gloria Stipic, the horrified hospital patient whose room a blacked-up Archie burst into, thnking he was going to see his little goil.
- I wrote this, which was never used in its entirety on the show:
- I'm the excitement you felt whenever Edith got pissed off and stood up to Archie.
- I'm the chair that the men couldn't pick up when bent over from the waist, but the women could, proving something or other about women's lib.
- I am Carroll O'Connor claiming he rewrote all the scripts.
- I'm the Shoe-Booty story, and the subsequent stunned look on Mike's face when he realizes that Archie was abused as a child.
- I am the Norelco PC-60 color cameras, mis-adjusted by Norman Lear to give a smeary, film-like look.
- I'm Frank Lorenzo. Whatever happened to me, anyway? I just seemed to disappear.
- R154 "I'm their house, 704 Hauser Street in Astoria."
I'm the actual house seen in the opening credits on Cooper Avenue in Glendale. And of course there is no Hauser Street in Astoria.
- [quote]I'm Beverly LaSalle's pair of falsies.
[quote]I'm Beverly LaSalle's pair of falsies.
Well to be fair, R168 and R169, they WERE a matched set.
- We are Dan Dailey and Julie Sommars, stars of "The Governor & J.J." When our show got cancelled, "All In The Family" was picked up and scheduled in our time slot
- I'm Steve, the macho gay who arm-wrestled Archie in Kelsey's Bar.
- I'm the Daughters of Sappho lez handing out pro-gay leaflets on Election Day.
- I'm the dingy linoleum and floorboards and the threadbare carpets that were painted onto the floor of the set.
- I'm Edith's joyous rendition of Happy 25th Anniversary to You she sang to Archie.
- I'm ARCHIE! Bounding thru the front door flying on AMPHETAMINES!
- I am the little tap dancing girl who brought her own floor to the Bunkers to dance for Sammy Davis Jr.
- I'm the letter Archie writes to Nixon.
- I'm the mortgage they burnt.
(What would a house like that in Astoria sell for now?)
- I am Fr. John Majeski (actor Barnard Hughes) , the priest who Edith seeks out when she has a spiritual criis
- [quote]I'm the letter Archie writes to Nixon.
And I'm the necktie he puts on to write to the President.
- I wish I could shimmy like my sister Kate!
- I'm Veronica, the partner of Edith's cousin "Liz the Lez"
- I'm Paul, the JDL member who got blown up in his car. I'm played by Gregory Sierra, who seemed to play every role on every sitcom in the seventies that required a Hispanic type.
- I'm the tapes of Season 9 episodes which were show to an audience for "live responses."
- I'm Charlotte Rae, playing basically her "Mrs. Garrett" character as a "Tupperware Lady" in charge of Ediths' Tupperware Party.
- I'm a can of Pocono mushrooms.
- I'm the chocolate cake that Archie shoved Mike's face into when he found out that Mike and Gloria were moving next door.
- [quote] I'm the tapes of Season 9 episodes which were show to an audience for "live responses."
I am the DL poster very puzzled by this. Wonder why they did that?
- I'm Henry Jefferson, who always had to deal with Archie because his brother George had never set foot in a honky's house and wasn't about to start at the bottom of the heap.
- I'm the baptismal fountain Archie used to baptize Joey against his parents' wishes.
- I'm Henry's son Raymond. I was 8 years old when I appeared on "The Jeffersons" in 1978, but when my daddy lived next door to the Bunkers, I didn't exist.
- I'm the legacy of slavery, segregation, racism and genocide that justifies George calling Archie a honky.
- I am Archie's Disney World shirt that he saves for special occasions.
- I'm Edith's misplaced moral outrage over her inaccurate belief that Walt Disney World's Country Bear Jamboree is actually a naked band.
- I am R219 who is making up shit.
- I'm the set decorator who made all of Norman Lear's shows from that era look beige, dirty and depressing.
- I'm the foot long hot dog, that the Jefferson's dog Wilma ate, that was intended for Archie's dinner.
- I'm the Polack art exhibit that Archie thought Meathead was attending when it was really Jackson Pollock.
- I am Meathead's topee.
- I watched six episodes of All In The Family yesterday on Deja Vu and it worked better than vodka or Xanax on my mood. Thanks Archie, The Lorenzos, Gloria, Meathead and Dingbat!
- I'm the dumb movie about nuns starring Ingrid Bernstein.
- I'm the "regular Edgar Allen Polack"
- [quote] I am Meathead's topee.
- I'm Lionel's foot-long that was gobbled up by Archie's niece Linda.
- I'm the episode where Edith went through the change, R220. That's where they thought about going to Walt Disney World.
Thank god ABC turned it down, otherwise they would have done a cheesy 2-parter there.
- I'm Archie's plaid CPO coat hanging on the wall hook. I reek of engine grease, cigar smoke and back sweat.
- I'm the look of disgust on Archie's face as Meathead and Gloria go into a clinch.
- I'm Archie Bunker on gun control.
Gloria: Do you know that sixty percent of all deaths in America are caused by guns?
Archie Bunker: Would it make you feel any better, little girl, if they was pushed out of windows?
- I'm a guy who wears glasses and is a foureyes.
I'm a gay who's a fag and is a queer.
- I am Scranton, the tourist mecca that Edith decides she would rather visit than Disney World.
This is the menopausal straw that breaks Archies' proverbial back, and he finally snaps, giving Edith "5 minutes to finish changing"
R233, I LOVE that quote, still use it occasionally, few people ever get the reference.
- I'm Norman Lear's issues with his racist father. I made his whole career possible.
- I'm Anthony Geary playing (what else?) a gay man.
- I'm the heating pad, electric blanket and radio that Edith opened four new bank accounts to get, thus keeping $400 of the Bunker's meager savings tied up and untouchable for a year. "That's the stupidest thing you ever done, Edith", laments Archie.