I agree with R7. Give 'em a few good make-out sessions and nothing more and you'll have the guy eating out of your hand in no time.
He's right...I think any two respectable and self-controlled people starting to date who have any desire to see where it may lead should wait AT LEAST a couple of weeks before taking it to that level.
My first boyfriend and I waited well over a month to have sex when we started dating and the suspense,mystery and sexual tension was INCREDIBLE. When we finally did it was one of the most intense experiences I've ever had.
It really CAN be hotter to wait.
My hand? Fuck that, I want him eating out of my ass dammit.
I agree he looks much better than usual, and it's because he's gained a little weight. He did not look good when he was so gaunt, despite the huge arms.
Totally agree. That's not first date behavior - that's just being a slut.
You'll never keep a man if you give away on the first date!
Why should a prospective hubby buy the cow when you're giving the milk away for free?
r12 likes to wash his vagina with Rose Milk followed by a splash of Jean Nate.
Good-bye(kinda). I want to write this message because every time I get banned or the website goes into paying member-only mode I never get to say good-bye. This last dark period was about 1.5 months long. I didn't miss this website. Every time there is a dark period I miss this place less and less. This place has a nursing home feel to it. You can't disturb people's routines. Not coming to this website has freed up a lot of time so I've been able to get a lot of things done. I'll occassionally come back until I don't.
we don't care what you do r19
Dan Savage looks better because he has had some work done. Re-positioning of his jaw, or a chin implant? He has kept the cleft deformity. His nose has been subtly shortened and his eyes refreshed. Some fillers. Jeez.
Usually you guys are all over this. Some of us know Dan from back when he covered the lower part of his face with his hand and invented coffee hook-ups. He was not a jerk, but definitely a creep. er.
R18. I actually had to look up what "Rose Milk" is to verify for myself just how OLD you really are.
r22 = culturally illiterate and must use Wikipedia to compensate for her pathetic lack of knowledge while using ageist epithets to cloak the fact that she's a sex-negative daisy.
Plastic surgery has nothing to do with Dan's fresh new look....he's now hiring the same DP RuPaul's Drag Race uses.
After all,anybody who can make THOSE queens look dewey....
Well, it's true. There are now five sexes: straight men, straight women, our dear lezbo cousins, us gay guys .. and these new creatures who fucking DATE, sometimes for a fucking month before they even fuck.
I was explaining this one night in the truck stop terlit, and even the truckers were shocked.
doesnt he realize that there is almost never a second date
There are two perspectives on "putting the cart before the horse."
There's the sacred perspective in which every step is meant to lead to marriage and cherubim singing, and the joint purchase of real estate, and buying a little Chinese baby. Then --and only then-- comes sex, maybe.
I'm more of the profane perspective which holds that it's premature to talk of marriage and real estate and Chinese babies until well after there's been some ass eating and fucking.
Marriage is fine, it's lovely, but I'm not the gay male version of the "good girl" who holds out until he puts a ring on it and the rose petals are laid on the matrimonial bed at the Four Seasons. I'd rather be whorey about the fleeting pleasures of sex than desperate to attain some ideal union.
r25 and r27 are undoubtedly over 40 and single.
Thank God gay guys are finally starting to get the memo that life isn't one big fuckfest. We see your generation and where all this fucking without emotion has gotten you, and it's a scary place. In your 40's, 50's, and 60's cruising the sites for sex, hooking up at The Eagle, doing drugs and circuit parties. YUCK.
I'm glad the younger folks are starting to build true connections. It will be healthier in the long run.
R26, not for some of us. I'm going on my third date with a guy tonight and we have only heavy petted so far
[quote]only heavy petted so far
Going on a date with your cat doesn't count.
[quote]I'm glad the younger folks are starting to build true connections. It will be healthier in the long run.
LOL. I know more young poz guys doing the circuit every night than older ones. And the ones in relationships are still getting their holes creamed on the side.
Get back on your meds, R19. You sound really scary.
He is entitled to his opinion, but it's all it is, his opinion.
[quote]HE LOOKS GOOD IN THAT PHOTO...HOW'D THAT HAPPEN?
You must be really ugly.
Of course Dan totally endorses fucking your waiter in a public bathroom during your first dinner date.
He was just on The View scandalizing Jenny and. Sherri.
He was explaining "monogamish" and Barbara wanted to know exactly what he said to his husband when he cheated.
He finally said, "When I cheat on my husband, he's cheating on me at the same time--at the other end of the same guy."
Whoopi thought that was hilarious but Sherri nearly had a stroke. Unfortunately, she didn't.
Sherri who has had "tons of abortions"?
[quote]Anal sex and rimming should not be first date behavior
I disagree, if you bought him dinner on the first date, you might as well get a taste of it.
Hell I'm a top and I douche for every date...we like our asses eaten too!.
r28 You may want to look at statistics on the demographics of STD/HIV infection before you start proclaiming your generation so chaste and morally superior. Cunt.
Eat shit, R28. It shouldn't be hard. Just extend your fat MIley tongue and nab your dirty Sanchez.
Where the hell did "fucking without emotion" come from? Every guy under 35 I know is on a DL trip behind the partner's back or is so immature the presence of "emotion" is detrimental to the relationship.
And emotion is not a virtual condom that protects against disease.
And why is there an assumption that people who have a lot of sex are emotionless or unloving in the first place. Leaving people with psychiatric disorders out of it, openness and enjoyment of sex with multiple partners usually is a sign of wellness. It's the pinched, Puritan, ungiving, fantasy-fuming "romantics" who get into the ditch because they need to feel dirty about good old sex.
You got one WW R30 ad thanks for making me laugh.
Is his name really Dan Savage? Was Randy Fierce taken?
Have you all noticed how the DL and perhaps Gaydom in general, has thoroughly evolved into two camps, post-AIDS?
My question is .. the other camp, the one I call basically women, with dicks, what happens to them after the third divorce? Whores, just like regular women?
r39 = My future husband
I thought, 'There's no use getting into heavy petting. It only leads to trouble...'
I would so happily give my ass up to Dan Savage so long as he promised to shut up. I think he's not physically gorgeous (whether naturally or artificially), but I think he talks far too much and is not nearly as bright as he believes he is.
r42, your attempt to make promiscuity and immorality sound good and healthy failed miserably.
I keep an aspirin between my knees.
[quote]Every guy under 35 I know is on a DL trip behind the partner's back or is so immature the presence of "emotion" is detrimental to the relationship.
Sounds like you need to acquire better taste in friends, hon. Most of us don't like to hang out with emotional fucktards, regardless of age (and NOT ONE of the gay guys I know under 35 fits your description).
[quote]And why is there an assumption that people who have a lot of sex are emotionless or unloving in the first place.
Because many of us possess a level of self-awareness that you clearly do not, and we realize the difference between a healthy sex life and compulsive, endless fucking in a vain attempt to fill an empty emotional chasm. Further, we understand the reality that most gay men who endlessly trick with hundreds of different men, all the while NEVER actually dating any of them or getting to know them on anything other than a physical level, fit the latter, not former, category.
You need to distinguish between a date and a hookup. A hookup is when people get together with the understanding that they're just there to have sex and leave it at that. A date is more of a friendly or romantic social occasion which may or may not involve sex, with the understanding that it may lead to a relationship.
It's possible to just hook up and have it lead to something more meaningful, but usually if you're just there for sex, you just want to get away from the other person as soon as you're done, which is not much of a date.
So when are we allowed to rim?
Heavy petted, r29? What does that mean?
Ever heard of heavy petting?
Ask Brad - he knows all about it - and what it can lead to.....
Why do people even listen to this freak? Doesn't he have some sick transmen fetish?
Banish it to the pits of hell.
So many gays guzzling the Hallmark kool-aid these days. r49 - being sexually active does not make one immoral. r51 - being sexually active does not necessarily mean a life of compulsive, endless fucking. BF and I fucked on our first date (online hookup actually) and we're still happily at it 11 years later. If you want to wait 'til you fuck that's fine, but don't pathologize those who forego the sentimental bullshit and enjoy sex however they enjoy it.
Are there any other gay sex/relationship advice podcasts besides Dan Savages?
This specific advice from Savage comes from a place of health/hiv/hep C concern, not slut shaming or even what he thinks is best for a potential relationship or scoring that second date. He was also speaking about condoms breaking/being misused or even purposely taken off...he's very big on reducing risk and being safe, at the very least its something to think about not a rule he's imposing
Question for the more experienced gays... how do you get clean for anal after a first date? Do you guys carry portable douches?
Didn't GW Bush also encourage abstinence as a HIV-prevention strategy?
I usually bring a rose and a Fleet to give my first dates.
That must just be a really well doctored photo. He was on The View today looking just as yucky as ever. He's kind of a perv too.
Oh yeah, but having anal sex and rimming tricks when you're married is completely fine.
Poor Dan - it's downhill from here, he's going to age more and more - he's on his way to being a Gollum double and it can't be avoided. It happens to all of us. Is he tell the truth about how old he really is these days?
[quote]he's going to age more and more
LOL, so will you R66-- unless you die today.
I'm already old and ugly
That first kiss "good night" shouldn't taste like your ass.
Dan's attempts to look under 40 are going to get harder and harder as he nears 70.
If he cant eat that ass like i like it, then i dont need to bother with the second date.
He hurts gay rights
I think he looks pretty good for his age, when the lighting is right he looks like he's in his late 40's. How old is he anyway?
He is either 48 or 53 - he lied about his age and got caught, I'm not sure.
He's got a great body, no matter how old he is. His husband's is even better.
His body is lean and mean, one can ignore the face and just focus below the neck. What's his dick like?
Some people are acting like Savage is endorsing some '50s style repression. He's basically suggesting 'stick to oral and hand jobs,' not 'be content with a peck on the cheek.'
Think of it this way: Take out the behavior he suggests against from a 10 minute porn clip, and it would still probably be 6 minutes long.
That's dating, not a visit to a glory hole.
r77 Savage is hung very well 9" and thick.
Why the hatred towards Dan Savage, of all people?
I don't get it.
Envy at the attention he gets r81, plus self-loathing scorn along the lines of who does he think it is to warrant so much attention (really not very much, but the bar is low).
In my opinion, Savage is a narcissist. Everything he does is about him, his fame and his own drama. He's not honest. He has been caught telling lies, but never corrects them or admits to them. I have never met him nor do I hate him, I think he's dangerous and reckless.
he is right this time. if you have more than two anal sex partners in the year, you need to reconsider your sexual ethics and health style.
From R12, "I think any two respectable and self-controlled people starting to date who have any desire to see where it may lead should wait AT LEAST a couple of weeks before taking it to that level."
respectable? self-controlled? date?
This is NOT the being queer I was taught!