How come children don't make their parents less lonely?
Isn't that why people have them?
Sometimes parents have them to give life.
Sometimes parents have them and don't want them.
Sometimes parents think that a cohesive family unit will somehow impact the world with that parent's values.
It doesn't make one less lonely, however, it does give some a purpose.
And sometimes a purpose is better than none.
What are you talking about? They absolutely do, many many parents can ignore the fact that they don't have a life of their own and just live for/through their kids. Until of course their kids grow up and the emptiness hits when they go off to college/move out.
Except nowadays in the parents are your best friend/kids hardly grow up culture the umbilical chord sometimes doesn't get cut.
It would be much easier in old age to have children to check up on you.
Life is inherently lonely.
OP, have you actually ever MET any children?
Children more often than not end up hating and resenting their parents. You're not going to get along with someone just because you're blood related. Children blame their parents for everything that they hate about their childhood. If you're lucky, at least one of them will have enough money to pay someone to change the sheets when you shit the bed when you're decrepit.
Unfortunately, some parents do just that...stupid parents.
Some people also have them because they want to be loved. The problem is, kids are not automatically going to love you. There is no guarantee.
The only thing you are guaranteed, you lose your freedom and your bank account.
most parents have kids for the maniacally self absorbed reasons:
want to be loved(NOT to love a child),
cause friend had one,
and even fuckin welfare(i still find this subhuman,and honestly don't see welfare parents as human beings.i mean giving birth for food-that's like... slaves do that.maybe some people are better suited for slavery)
my parents were SHIT and unfortunately most kids i knew had shit parents,too.
i believe that most women are not fit to be mothers.
R9, you left out having kids because you want kids to give your life a purpose and to fill the vacuum of ennui.
A good number of adults need kids to fill up their lives with something to do.
And woman sometimes have kids so they will not be expected to work outside of the home and to escape being expected to develop a career.
I've heard if you adopt twins and then separate them when things don't work out, good stuff happens.
When my parents sent out my birth announcement, it read "We have a deduction!"
It's defined my life ever since.
R10 - so true. Many have kids to give their life meaning and purpose. Others do it because you're "supposed to" - it's the next step and they get caught up in it.
I don't doubt that they still love them though. So what? If it floats your boat, go ahead.
I have seen some pig-women throw themselves into parenthood with crazed materialistic glee, redefining themselves as "Mommies" as if they were Madonna launching a new schizzy persona. The children are bloated, (rightfully) confused and avoidant.
Children just need to understand their place and purpose and everyone will do just fine.
Children are needy ungrateful little sponges. A bad return on your emotional investment.
We have a long thread on here about people who have cut off their parents. A lot of them have it coming.
"Children more often than not end up hating and resenting their parents."
Bullshit. That's just on Datalounge. And believe me it's the self-centered people who don't have kids.
boy r18 is a frau....you do realize you are on a gay board? procreation isn't as easy for gays as it is for straights.
So being on a gay board means you have to be delusional and deny facts?
What is more selfish and self-centered than creating a human being, without his or her consent, in order to enhance your own happiness?
Parents love their children "and would die for their children" because they love their own genetic selves. I am proudly anti-natalist.
"What is more selfish and self-centered than creating a human being, without his or her consent, in order to enhance your own happiness?"
R21 is a frau mug cradler.
"And believe me it's the self-centered people who don't have kids."
Some people are self-aware enough to know that they aren't cut out for parenthood, and I respect them for that (I should, I'm one of them).
Honestly, parents seem to all tell each other that parenthood makes you a better person, and it's just not true. People who are selfish or self-absorbed before they have children stay that way as parents, and either use their children as lifestyle accessories or rage at them for cramping their style.
Most people have children because they are bored with their options. But guess what, children are even more boring than adults as company.
They also have children when their marriages are failing and they've outgrown their partner. Rather than admit defeat they have children they can focus on instead (we call this the "Susan" factor).
We need child birth to continue the human species.
we kid and i are best friends. it's happy, healthy, important. you have to love being a mother, and the rest falls into place. if the kid is a task or obligation, he or she will hate you. it's pretty simple.
OP, did your parents have you because they were lonely? And did it work? Of course not. Don't you think that everyone has noticed that having children doesn't make parents less lonely, rendering it unlikely that alleviation of loneliness is a motivation?
"you have to love being a mother, and the rest falls into place. if the kid is a task or obligation, he or she will hate you"
Unless you smother the kid to the point where it will run screaming away from you as soon as it can.
And FYI a good indicator that you're smothering your kid is when you call it your "best friend".
If you're having children in order to fill a void in your life then you just had them for the wrong reason. It's called depression and there's pills for that.
R36, most people do have kids to give themselves a purpose in life.
And a good number of people do not cultivate any interests in life. Cultivating interests is one of the keys to a happy life.
Too many people live thru their children.
I do not understand the obsession with attending kiddie and teenage soccer matches that mothers and parents have. Not do I understand the obsession to attend all or most of the kids sports matches/games. I just do not see it as all that important and parents are making it TOO important.
Because it's illegal in most countries, Rose.
Plenty of middle aged women are having babies. I have no idea why. Just as the women will be going through menopause, their children will be turning into teenagers. Teens, who very often don't want to go to school or for whatever stupid reason, decide to be cutters or anorexics. WHAT FUN!