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Dear Darfur Orphan,

How are you? I am fine. Really, I am. Smoked some herb, drinking beers on, and pissing off, my balcony. I have a venus flytrap out here I spontaneously bought at a grocery store last month. I'll bet you two would get along well. You both have the fly thing in common. Have you ever listened to Brian Eno? I ask only because he just shuffled onto my iPod. Well, iPhone. Who has an iPod anymore?! Ha! Anyway, I'm writing to tell you I can't make this month's payment. I spent that "price of a cup of coffee a day" money on a shitload of cups of coffee. To be fair, I'm really groggy in the morning. Next month for sure! Hi to your mom, and pass on my sympathy about her rapings and clitorectomy and stuff. Your Sponsor, Dave

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