Damn. Amarillo Italian restaurant closes, leaves nasty note behind.
An Italian restaurant that recently closed up shop in Amarillo, Texas, appears to have left behind a sign explaining in graphic detail exactly why it went out of business.
"You sorry assed, rednecked sacked of goat sperm had no idea what you had here!" reads the exclamation-point-heavy "Not Sorry We're Closed" sign. "Good luck with your pre-packaged frozen shit food in this town."
You better believe it goes on:
Maybe you'll remember us when you're boning your sister and think she smells like pasta. We are off to make money in a town whose average IQ is above room temperature! CIAO!!!
Shortly after the sign began spreading online this morning, Sava!'s owners took to their Facebook page to suggest they were not responsible for the strongly worded farewell.
"Don't believe all you hear and see folks!" said a status update published three hours ago.
But web sleuths soon noticed that the restaurant's denial flies in the face of several inarguable truths.
Such as the fact that the sign is posted behind the glass of a locked door.
And just prior to picking up and moving to nearby Lubbuck, Sava!'s executive chef Mark Coffman told the Amarillo Globe-News, "I think Lubbock will get what we do a little better. It’s a bigger wine town."
He also called Amarillo "a tough sell" and griped that customers "think they know what Italian food is and they still argue with me about it."
Another hint that suggests Sava! had more to do with the note than they are willing to concede is the owner's penchant for signing everything with the word "CIAO" in all caps, and this reply posted on Urban Spoon last month that uses suspiciously similar language.
It's Amarillo. What the hell did they expect? Lubbock sucks too.
Spent the night in Amarillo on a road trip once. The Denny's was open and the best option for a late dinner. My god, the horror. The horror. They're already living in the future world of Idiocracy but dirtier and meaner.
A testament to doing some serious research before you open up a restaurant.
If Lubbock really is a more sophisticated town, then Amarillo must be a trailer park hell.
Oh, the wait staff just got tired of watching all the men smack the women around at the tables while the women keep saying "She's my sister. She's my daughter. She's my sister. She's my daughter.."
And then not leaving a good tip!
Amarillo sounds like quite a place.
The only small towns I can see having a successful Italian place in TX are the ones in the Hill Country (Wimberley, Fredericksburg, etc.) within easy driving distance of Austin and San Antonio where lots of wealthy city people have weekend houses in these little towns. Dallas, Houston, S.A. and Austin are of course much larger and have a huge variety of restaurants. They'd do much better there.
Who doesn't like Italian food?
Rednecks R7. Not authentic Italian anyway. Their idea of Italian is lasagna, spaghetti and ravioli. Anything else causes great apprehension and suspicion.
One of the finest Italian (REAL Italian, not "pasta and sauce" Italian) restaurants I've ever been to in this country is in Austin, in Fact. Vespaio. I've had some of the most amazing meals of my life there.
I have no trouble believing the ignorant rubes of Amarillo have no taste though. Their idea of "Italian" is probably Bespeghetti-Os (bad spelling intentional).
The owner is very likely a sociopath, as sociopaths are unable to accept blame for their failures and lash out at others.
Additionally, the restaurant business attracts a high number of sociopaths.
Except, R10, this is Amarillo we're talking about.
Idiots! Did they do any market research at all before deciding on a location? You don't open a sophisticated italian restaurant in a hick town and then blame your customers for being too hickish to "get" your cuisine. They deserved to fail.
Maybe they deserved to fail, but I still think they're allowed to blame their customers for being too closed-minded, too hickish, and for having such terrible taste.
What is "suspicious" about the Urban Spoon post? It is clearly the owners posting as the owners.
He'd still be in business if he had just dumped some cans of Chef Boy-Ar-Dee on a plate and served it.
Anyone who opens a restaurant like that in Amarillo has no business calling anyone else stupid.
Lubbock is a step above Amarillo?
Who was to know?
The owner sounds like an asshole.
Next stop-- ABILENE!
[quote]"Don't believe all you hear and see folks!"
The only people who say this are idiots with something to hide that haven't thought up a good alibi yet.
He's moving to Scottsdale start a new venture with the Amy's Baking Company couple.
[quote]Lubbock is a step above Amarillo? Who was to know?
Lubbock is the site of a fairly large state university. College towns, even hick state colleges, are always populated with slightly better educated people with better taste.
Amarillo just has small satellite campuses and a community college.
The only good thing about Amarillo is "The Bus From Amarillo" from the OBC album of "Best Little Whorehouse in Texas." The best song from the show, but left out of the film version.
[quote] Their idea of Italian is lasagna, spaghetti and ravioli
This was not so 40 years ago. My mothers coworker said her daughter who was attending college in TX complained she couldn't make her favorite dishes because nobody sold ricotta, provelone or fresh parmesan cheese. It was even difficult to find lasagne pasta.
TX has come a long way.
I looked at the Amarillo tourism board's page for "Amarillo Dining" to see if this place was there (it was) -- most of the rest was Chili's, Whataburger, etc.
The final straw that led the owners to close the restaurant was when a customer asked why none of the pasta dishes featured chicken.
When I was growing up in the 60s (in CT), my half-brother lived in Tucson. Every Christmas, my mother would send him a care package of different salamis, cheeses and canned stuff they couldn't get in AZ.
I live in Dallas now and I can get just about anything, except basket cheese. I use Mexican panela instead, which is pretty much the same thing.
This is not true, some very sophisticated Amarillo residents love our authentic Italian food!
I wouldn't advise these people to open another restaurant south of Toledo or west of Buffalo. Rednecks have short fuses and very long memories.
If the owner had done some investigation, he would have discovered that we in Amarillo like our spaghetti with ketchup. He was unwilling to provide that, so the people stopped going.
Buddy Holly was born & raised in Lubbock. Tomorrow's his birthday -- he'd be 77.
Texas is more all about Mexican food anyway.
Is that like Mama Junes "sketti" which consists of a tub of margarine and ketchup microwaved and poured over pasta R30?
Keep in mind, Texas is the state where (and I heard this in person, so know it's true) they think "Turkey Bacon" is "vegetarian".
Lubbock: the Paris of the oil fields.
Thanks for suggesting I read this article, Gawker.
[quote]I live in Dallas now and I can get just about anything, except basket cheese.
Sounds like a euphemism for smegma.
Isn't Amarillo where that kid got off the hook years ago for running over another kid on purpose, killing him? He was the star of the football team, blah blah blah, son of one of the richest guys in town who owned lots of car dealerships, etc. etc. The run over kid was a goth or something and the jury said something like he felt threatened because of the kids looks / dress and was justified?
Town full of assholes. I wouldn't piss them off until I was safely out of town either.
Prego bacon and provolone flavor sauce is on sale this week, $1 a jar.
Lovely, R44. There are a few sites with instructions for making your own & it sounds pretty simple (except that they all call for rennet, which those of us who don't eat meat can't use). The cheese & the Italian Easter pie both sound delightful.
Our family recipe is very different than the one I linked to. We use bread or pizza dough for the crust and no eggs, just ricotta, basket cheese and mozzarella cheese. There are many variations of this pie based on region and family tradition.
r45-You're worried about rennet when the recipe calls for pepperoni, prosciutto and boiled ham? LOL.
Anyway, don't want to derail the thread. Back to the [italic]cafones[/italic] in Amarillo.
R35, Lubbock is the Paris of the COTTON fields.
Midland is the Paris of the oil fields.
There are a lot of places in this country where Italian food is not understood.
One of my family members corrected a chef and told him al dente meant soft like pudding and this stuff he was serving was not I-taliain at all.
Does everyone have to like Italian food? Talk about entitlement. "I'm Italian, ergo, I'm a great cook and my culture makes great food and there's something wrong with you if you don't like it.".
Gimme a fucking break.
r42 Basket cheese, sometimes called pot cheese, IS similar to ricotta, but much firmer. They press the curds to remove much of the moisture, sometimes it is salted, then left to solidify in its "basket". Even in MY big Italian neighborhood it is difficult to find, usually only see it at big holidays, particularly Easter. r45 I see your point about the rennet. Calcium chloride is used when they make tofu, it clabbers the soy "milk." I wonder if that can be used with cow's milk?
I've been to Lubbock, and if It is better, Amarillo must really be a pit.
Avoid Texas. Ignore what you hear about Austin being ok. It's a trap.
R3 said it first so he gets credit. Who opens a premium dining facility with researching what the people in that town are wiliing to spend money on? Pompous, presumptuous chefs who think their craft is so astounding that people will regardlessly flock to their tables, that's who.
The best Italian food is so cheap and easy to make there is no sense in eating out. And the markup is ridiculous--pasta costs pennies but you will pay 15 bucks for a pasta dish with a little chicken breast thrown in.
The reason why you see so many Italian/pizza joints around is because the profit margin is so huge. It's also why so many non-Italians, like Koreans, Arabs, etc. open pizza joints.
Now, a good pizza joint is worthy of our devotion, but one can make equally good at home.
Learn to cook, fuckers!
I already know how to cook, R54. Probably better than you. I simply don't want to. I have much better things to do with my time than plan menus, go grocery shopping, cook a meals and clean up. No thanks. I can well afford to over pay for good food. So, I do.
Same with house cleaning and garden work. Of course it's cheaper to do it yourself, but who the hell wants to that that can afford NOT to?
Just maybe the food sucked
Someone didn't do their market research. Who's stupid now?
R54 one does not throw chicken into pasta if one is Italian. If that is the shit you eat at home....I would not want to eat at your home. Chicken does not belong on pasta or pizza.
[quote]Chicken does not belong on pasta or pizza.
What about Chicken Spaghetti?
Chicken spaghetti...gross just gross
OMG, R30! Do you melt some Velveeta in it, too?
r59 ....or Chicken Tetrazinni?
r58, chicken cacciatore.
When made correctly neither are past dishes. R62/63
R62 btw....your precious dish comes from San Francisco and has fuck all to do with Italy.
Pasta is for fat asses.
Pasta is for hot Italians who are not fat.
The reasoning behind why they must be behind the sign is stupid.
Pasta is a side dish in Italy. Fish and vegetables figure very heavily in the Italian diet.
I never heard of chicken spaghetti until I saw it on datalounge. I presume it is eaten by the people who use "drug" as the past tense for "drag."
My mother always made eye-tailan food because she said that's what the Romans fed Jesus... authentic eye-talian has chopped up hot dogs in it.
I need to see the Chef. Is mister Boy-R-Dee available? This stuff ain't nothing like what I git from him in the can.
Heavens to Betsy, ma! This is more disappointing than that fancy Turkey Day you took us to, and they couldn't even serve the cranburry sauce right. They mushed it all up or sumthin, and it didn't look like the shape of the can no more at all!
Just throw a jalapeno into the Sunday gravy.
[quote]Pasta is a side dish in Italy. Fish and vegetables figure very heavily in the Italian diet.
technically it's a "primo" - the first plate. the second plate is more substantial and could be anything from roast beef to friend fish, to fave beans, completely dependent on the region and season.
I went to Italy once. Some restaurant tried to serve me horse and donkey! I didn't know they was savages over there.
Charlie the Tuna was always quite friendly
[quote]to fave beans
I like cannellini
Next time, the owner might try changing the name from Sava! to something that's actually Italian.
Oh, and for those wondering, there are definitely some "authentic" Italian chicken dishes: chicken saltimbocca, chicken scalloppine, etc.
Lastly, I LOVE the photo of Sava!'s owner/chef that some former diner recently posted on Urbanspoon. Hee!