I am aware this will sound cray-cray to everyone, but hopefully, I am not alone in this. My problem is that I have an overactive imagination and it has led me to numerous heartbreaks and disappointments. The thing is, when I meet someone I like and there is a hint that he likes me back, my imagination goes overdrive. I build up the person and the relationship in my head based on very little things I know about that person. The latest guy I really like, for example, is the shy and quiet type who isn't much into the gay scene. He also goes to one of the top highly-selective schools in the country doing his masters, so fairly intellectual and with career goals in mind. He also follows major league baseball and football/soccer, so masculine-oriented. He's also very close to his family and he comes from a cultural background that is very family-oriented. So he seems all-around the perfect guy in my mind (I like geeky shy sporty guys). Based on those very little info, my imagination went nuts building this guy up into my perfect guy. I'd start fantasizing about him, not really sex, but in a romantic way, the whole relationship, and what I think his true personality is from what little things I know about him. I'd fantasize about us going on dates with the personality I have built for him in my head. I have fallen in love with this guy based on the image and personality of him I have built in my mind. Now, the more I get to know this guy, the more disappointed I get. He's not really the "ideal" guy I have built in my mind. The more I learn about him, it's like one heartbreak after the other. It's like my expectations does not reconcile with reality. It's not his fault at all and mine alone. I admit that. I have built this huge expectation of him based on very little initial info I knew about him. My imagination got carried away. He's a great guy and anyone will be lucky to have him. Unfortunately, I'm starting to lose interest in him. And at the same time, I feel heartbroken for "losing" the guy I built in my head. If it wasn't for me building him up, there could have been something special between us (he actually likes me too). Anyway, what the fuck is wrong with me? This isn't the first time this has happened. It's been like this ever since I started getting crushes in grade school. It's like I'm a teenage girl who daydreams about being boyfriends with some guy at school.
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