What makes you think Oprah will ever die?
Stop killing Oprah with your negative waves, OP.
"Throwing the baby out with the bath water."
Talk about dying in a grease fire...
Because she is a deity, she will first be cleansed and anointed with sacred oils from Neiman Marcus (she wanted Marshall Fields, but there you go.)
She will be wrapped in Hermes silk scarves, her organs each protected in separate Hermes handbags. In keeping with the rites of the Oprahcrusians, she will be placed upon a floating funeral pyre made of the finest woods and the pyre will be set aflame. In the pool of her house in Montecito. Gayle and Stedman will keen and wail (they are not required to join her) but John Travolta has pledged to douse himself in gasoline and join her in the flames.
I mean, he is so annoying that he could do it tomorrow as far as I'm concerned,but custom is custom. Maya Angelou will speak from beyond the grave for at least two hours to get twenty words out.
After a funeral at the Capital of the United States, she will be buried at Arlington National Cemetery next to JFK and Jackie. Oh, and sick people will flock there to be cured, like at Lourdes.
She will keep herself alive by purchasing replacement organs whenever one of hers starts to go bad. She'll outlive everyone, except Cher.
R6, why don't you write the book about it honey! Save it for someone who cares
OP, dot or feather?
R9, polka dot baby
Bulldykes and femmes
R11, how did you know?
R8=shitty panties, and sagging titties!
When Oprah dies, Gayle will have a very generous inheritance, and will have the complete independence that is the only thing she lacks now.
Hmm. Oprah had better not let Gayle cook her food.
R15, don't turn this into another Oprah=closet lesbian, because you know for damn sure that she isn't!
[quote]She will be wrapped in Hermes silk scarves, her organs each protected in separate Hermes handbags.
No! No! Ve closed! Ve closed!
R17, hehe! I like the sausage! Hehe, get it?
"She will keep herself alive by purchasing replacement organs whenever one of hers starts to go bad. She'll outlive everyone, except Cher."
She'll just buy Cher...
Would they need a special fire permit for a blaze large enough to envelop Oprah?