This 50+ year old woman (but NOT in her 60s, even) with two bags verbally abused me on the subway for not giving her my seat
I am 56 y.o. and I happen to have planter faciatis, which makes it really tough on me to travel on the subway, especially to stand for long distances when the subway contantly yanking back and forth.
The crain was crammed, and she walked right in front of me, stared at me and then just started yelling at me about how rude I was not to get up. I thought she was one of those crazy people out of a psych ward without her meds, at first, so I ignored her and it got worse.
Then, this other woman next to me, looked so exasperated, she said, "honey, you can sit here." And that woman GLARED at me, like she was so imposed on that she had to give up HER seat, because I wouldn't give up mine.
I don't owe either of those bitches or anyone else one single word of explaination or justification why I don't give her my seat. Not one word.
Even if I didn't have a medical reason, screw her. It is a matter of courtesy anyway, not a law or ordinance or anything she is automatically entitled to receive.
Where do people like her get off?
>>>> I don't owe either of those bitches or anyone else one single word of explaination or justification why I don't give her my seat. Not one word.
You're right, you don't.
>>>>>>Where do people like her get off?
What does this expression mean exactly?
I agree with you op, I've encountered a lot of entitled people who think that the sea should part for them.
This type of entitled person should always be addressed with," and what do you say...."?
"If only you used the word "please", I'd have happily given you the seat".
(whether you would or not).
She thinks she deserves a seat because she is a woman.
I have seen men giving up seats to pretty and YOUNG women on the subway numerous times. I guess these men felt these young women were too pretty to stand.
Unless she were elderly or pregnant, I see no reason you needed to give her your seat.
Maybe the bitch was off her meds and that's why she acted that way. But I'm with you, OP. You weren't obligated to give up your seat. Fuck the bitch (figuratively, of course...maybe that's part of her problem, she hasn't been laid for years).
Bitch please, its 2013 not 1913. OP you are totally right. Some women, NOT ALL, expect both equal pay and male shivery. They do not understand that if you want to be treated like an equal, its not just the good parts like pay, its with everything.
50+ is not even that old to say she is from another era. She is a yuppy bitch, probably went to college, probably a CEO or manager somewhere. Now suddenly she is a Ma-Lady?
You know, this is like the Fraus in my office that expect me to do the heavy lifting anything they want something taken to their car.
I am in my late 40s, bad back, cant stand for long, suffering from lots of side effects from HIV meds yet none of these bitches stop to think that I might have a medical problem just because they are lazy. And I still have to give them the excuse or I feel guilty.
My straight pussyhound friend would always insist on giving up his seat for young girls. He claimed it was because it was from the South, or something. BULLSHIT. He was hoping he'd get laid!
Sorry about your experience, OP. You were not in the wrong.
"where do people like her get off?"
at their stop?
[quote] Some women, NOT ALL, expect both equal pay and male shivery.
It's a doggy dog world.
Like Shakes the Clown?
When that happens to me on the 1,2,3 Express, I always just look at the angry person with a big loving smile and say, "Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjouuuuuur!", and tilt my head a little.
It really fucks them up.
OP, you shouldn't fuck with Madonna that way, that bitch'll cut you good with her new grill.
Haha, I like that one, R13
What a bitch. I'm an "older" woman and I even have plantar fasciitis, but I'd rather my feet turn into bloody stumps than ask someone to give up their seat for me, much less demand that they do.
[quote]Some women, NOT ALL, expect both equal pay and male shivery. ... She is a yuppy bitch....
I no longer even expect good spelling.
I think the MTA should issue handicapped stickers that riders can affix to their foreheads to avoid just these kinds of situations.
I had a nice experience on the subway recently. A young black man offered me his seat. I'm a woman in my 50's and in relatively good shape, so I thanked him and declined. He then offered the seat to an older man and then to a younger woman. I thought it was sweet. I do remember from long ago when I was pregnant that it was usually other women or minority men who offered their seat.
I don't ride the subway that often these days (walk to work) so I probably miss out on a lot of subway drama. The worst thing I have seen is a woman spitting into a man's face (on the 4 train). It was a really crowded train so I'm not sure what it was all about, but there was yelling (her) and when she departed the train at Union Square, she spit in his face.
And I'm sure you fight every day to get women equal pay, right OP, since you're so commited to all forms of equality? No? Just when it comes to subway seating? What a shocker.
R19 .....why he gotta be black ??
I tend not to offer my seat, but often get up.
I find that women with VERY wide asses will decide that the two inches of space between two men is a seat and will descend upon you forcing their fat onto your lap.
Usually the two men get up and the fat bitch wedges herself in there.
There are fat men on the subway as well, but I have never had one wedge himself in the crack.
If a woman (or anyone else) spit into my face, that constitutes assault.
And I would punch her face into next week.
And are you tender to the touch, dear?
or do I mean "spat"?
Whatever. I'm swinging.
So women expect shrinkage now?
You really can't get upset every time some crazy cunt goes off. Really.
I'm with you, R23. I think the problem is that, if you're a man (and our society being the way it is), you would likely be called the villain for hitting a woman.
It is DOG EAT DOG world. And MALE CHIVALRY. Some of you are flat out idiots.
You sound OLD and CRANKY and FAT, frau R29.
R17? We must fight this. Decent grammar is what sets the DL apart.
Seating on the subway- unless elderly or pregnant, as noted above- is first come, first serve. They can't hack it, they can take the bus.
True, R32, although it's the same on the bus -- seating is first-come, first-serve. Nobody owes you anything.
Sorry that happened to you, OP. I would never expect someone to give up their seat for me but it does warm my heart when some sweetie makes such a courteous gesture. Common decency is in short supply these days. When someone holds a door for me, I get choked up. You would be surprised at just how rude people are about the most basic things. Let's all be nicer to each other, even when someone is nasty to us. Let's start a trend!
[quote]It is DOG EAT DOG world. And MALE CHIVALRY. Some of you are flat out idiots.
"Doggy dog world" was in reference to a dumbass who used that in another thread.
You need to kick her in the pubic bone next time.
Woman get equal pay?
Woman ahead of me at the supermarket check-out. Petite, mature, overdressed, very homely.
She finished as I was unloading and conveyed briskly that I was to help her in placing something huge heavy and oblong into her just-about-big-enough wheeled basket. Job (eventually) done, no hint of thanks. OK then! Glad to help.
I agree, R31, but it seems like such a losing (not loosing) battle. Hardly anyone thanks me, even though I try to be polite, maybe even funny. Sometimes I just have to sit down, but I'm only 66 & fat (not pregnant), so no one offers me a seat.
It would be a crying shame if anyone expected anything of strangers, wouldn't it? Our society has become so surly and unpleasant.
Growing up I was taught to give my seat on a bus for any older person, male or female, and pregnant women. As an adult, I still do that when using public transportation. I have also offered to help elderly people with packages.
"True politeness consists in being easy one's self, and in making every one about one as easy as one can."-Alexander Pope
“The line between the public life and the private life has been erased, due to the rapid decline of manners and courtesy. There is a certain crudeness and crassness that has suddenly become accepted behavior, even desirable.”
and I never help women or the elderly on planes with their carry-ons or at the baggage terminal either. it's a me me me world!
[quote]Where do people like her get off?
DL is rife with plantar fasciitis.
OH HELL NO! I love the frau's (especially the little Asian one's who normally carry 2-10 shopping bags on the train) who stand right on top of me and wait for me to get up. Sorry, bitches but we're all equal in this country and that means my 50 yr old ass gets the seat that I paid for. I will get up for the elderly or someone with a cane and, occasionally, a pregnant woman though most of them look healthy enough to stand.
You sound quite shameless. I like how you assume that your foot pain automatically trumps whatever someone else could be experiencing. It's all about you though!
R45 And you sound both judgmental and tedious. What makes you think the woman in question had any "trump" card herself, other than being a woman (since the OP seemed in the same age bracket)? I'm 55, old enough to remember being taught to offer my seat to older people, women (not necessarily "girls," i.e. teens and twentysomethings, unless obviously preggers), and people with visible disabilities, so I tend to do it, but it seems to me that, after a certain age, body and health issues trump chivalry. As for it being "all about" the OP--that's hardly how he presented it. He had gotten on the train earlier, found a seat, much to his relief, I'm sure (if you've never had plantar f. you have no idea how excruciating it can feel) and knew that he had a perfectly fine reason to keep his seat. Why should it, then, be "all about" the woman who confronted him--why should she have any more "right" to the seat than he?
And, to put in context, we now have a sizeable generation of primarily men who are aging with HIV and its related conditions, most of which are not visible (as simple as fatigue). Maybe it's time that people like this woman in question recognize that just being a woman is no longer reason enough for someone automatically to give up his seat.
What's your excuse?
OP; It is the same over here in this area of Southern California. The young people take up the seats nearest the driver, and when some elder comes aboard, they don't move a muscle.
I observed that certain Asians, however, would make room for the elder.
I witnessed a big, wide, young black guy stand near the female bus driver, who is also black. He arrived after an elder sat near the front. He stared at the elder, (another minority); then even though there was plenty of seating nearby, told the minority elder to move so he can have the seat. The bus driver overheard him, and told him off in no uncertain terms. Silenced him.
How do you know how old she was op?
The correct form is the subjunctive, R25, if you are interested.
"If a woman (or anyone else) were to spit into my face..."
I just want to mention that people who are undergoing chemotherapy &/or radiation treatment for cancer often feel very weak. They sometimes don't look sickly, & hair loss from chemo might be covered with a scarf or cap -- any age, either sex.
In many areas, the American Cancer Society offers some free rides for those who can't drive themselves to treatments & whose family/friends aren't available to help. But there are still a lot of patients who have to take public transportation.
Now that I'm recovered from chemo & no longer feel like fainting, I always leave seats & close-by parking spaces free in case they're needed, open doors, & offer to help with lifting, reaching, etc. Even if everyone around me looks fine, the fact is that I'm OK so why not make things easier for someone who isn't?
What the hell are you doing on a BUS in Southern California, R47?
You coastal people are insufferable.
I'm in my 50's. I was taught to give up my seat for the elderly and the disabled (male or female), pregnant women and, actually, women in general - especially women who have young children along with them.
I still do it when I'm on any kind of public transportation. To me, it's just good basic manners. I don't attach a lot of heavy meaning to it and it doesn't piss me off.
[quote][R45] What makes you think the woman in question had any "trump" card herself, other than being a woman (since the OP seemed in the same age bracket)?
Why is it okay for you to make those assumptions, but not anyone else?
[quote](if you've never had plantar f. you have no idea how excruciating it can feel
I have had it. I marched with a pack, and ran, and stood at attention for 8 hours with it. It isn't a good enough reason to act antisocial in public. At the bare minimum, he could have acknowledged her presence and said he was in too much pain to stand. Instead, he ignored her. The other rider gave her seat, and he was satisfied to just look like an asshole. Yet he came here to complain!
[quote]And, to put in context, we now have a sizeable generation of primarily men who are aging with HIV and its related conditions, most of which are not visible (as simple as fatigue). Maybe it's time that people like this woman in question recognize that just being a woman is no longer reason enough for someone automatically to give up his seat.
Except that isn't what happened at all, and this is as off topic as if I were to mention that the other rider could very have been recovering from cancer or orthopedic surgery since she is a woman in her 50s.
What a cunt she can go fuck herself op.
Oh shut up, R38.
If men and women are equals, then whoever gets to the seat first gets the seat.
I quite regularly offer my seat on the subway to older people / those with disabilities or to parents with young children and I often do so before younger people of either sex even notice or acknowledge them. NO WAY do I think men should automatically give up their seats for women, but nor do I think OP has experienced anything other than a rude, entitled individual whose circumstances he didn't know and who wasn't aware of his own medical condition (because he didn't choose to share it).
Works both ways in my experience. I see it more as a generational thing rather than as a gender issue, and in some ways it proves that society has made encouraging progress towards equality. Empathy is the key in my book.
Do you have insoles for the plantars f?
Some are brought up, R4, to give up their sears to ladies regardless of age. And R19 if offered a seat please take it. It's just a gesture and not meant to imply anything more if you are obviously not infirm; the refusal was obviously awkward for the polite young man.
R54. Except, if you read carefully, you'd say I'm not making assumptions, I'm offering hypotheticals and suggesting that such possibilities are reasons not to make the kinds of assumptions the women seem to have made aboutOP.
But go back to standing at attention--so manly of you!
What an unpleasant thread.
OP, who cares about your stupid feet? Go to the podiatrist already.
r63 fwiw, since I have plantar fasciitis, nothing helps. I'm not the OP but I have it & it's horrible. A Podiatrist can't help you if you must know. The surgery doesn't help. The shots into your heels don't help. The insoles help a little and some people say custom orthotics help, but only some people.
& again FWIW, most people have it in their left foot, not their right one, but people can have it in their right, not left, and both feet, but usually one foot is worse.
SUBWAY means first come first serve, MoFo's...
You are in the right to have kept your seat. Miss Cray-Cray could've waited for an emptier train before going Faye Dunaway on your damn Aunt Fanny... Sounds like she didn't even place in the Joan Of Arc pageant. Maybe it was just a bad day for her and she accidentally ATE the chocolate Nor-Forms...
r64 - The reason I asked is that I had it and bought some insoles and took Naproxin. I think I got on the Dr. Scholl's machine. Anyway, it took several weeks but it went away and hasn't been back.
I understand that it doesn't help everyone, but I thought I'd share my experience.
Will you feet people please post on the correct thread?!