Stick a fork in this story, humanity is done. Doctors in Australia have come across a case of autoerotic-stimulation-gone-wrong that is so embarrassing, they felt compelled to tell everyone about it. According to an International Journal of Surgery Case Reports paper entitled "An Unusual Urethral Foreign Body" [warning: horrible, horrible photos] urologists at Canberra Hospital were recently presented with a 70-year-old patient who had ended up in the emergency room with a 10cm (4") fork lodged inside his penis. Apparently the unnamed man had intentionally inserted the fork into his urethra in order to achieve "sexual gratification." Though the fork had gotten lost inside the man's genitals, doctors were able to sense the utensil using touch, and surgeons were able to extract the object using forceps and "copious lubrication." The patient was under a general anesthetic at the time. "This case warrants discussion given the great management challenge faced by the oddity and infrequency with which a fork is encountered in the penile urethra," wrote the doctors in the report's abstract. They went on to note several other cases of unusual objects ending up stuck inside patients, noting that "the motives for insertion of a variety of objects are difficult to comprehend." However, the doctors at least agreed that "it is apparent that the human mind is uninhibited let alone creative."
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