Would you be in a relationship with someone who was only into oral? - WITH POLL
I posted this last week but I'm new here and didn't realize there was a poll option. Some guys requested a thread with a poll on it, so here it is! I'll also put what I wrote in the original thread too, and link the original thread so you can see what was discussed before. And please explain your answers to the poll by replying too!
I'm a gay guy in my early 20s who is not really into anal sex. I've tried bottoming a few times (around 5 times) but it just doesn't feel pleasurable. It wasn't entirely unpleasant, but it didn't turn me on. I've tried extensively with anal toys, aneros, dildos, vibrators, etc, and I can take them in my ass, but I just don't feel pleasure from it - I also haven't been able to find my prostate no matter how much I probe around down there. I've jacked off with a toy in my ass before, but the orgasm wasn't any better then when I jack off.
I WANT to be a bottom though, because I think I have kinda a "bottom mentality" (I know this sounds kinda ridiculous). I like bigger dominant guys, and watching power bottoms in porn turns me on because I really want to be like them. Which is why being a top doesn't really interest me.
On the flipside, I LOVE giving oral sex, and am quite good at it too. Also like making out, rimming, and watersports.
Questions for you all: Would you guys be with someone who was only into oral (but really good oral)? How can I find my prostate, or enjoy bottoming? Any other guys in the same situation? Thanks.
Here are some of the points brought up on the previous thread that I'm replying to:
[quote] You say you dont find anal unpleasant, it just doesnt do anything for you. But you love giving oral. Obviously you find giving oral pleasurable. What is it exactly that you like about giving oral? How do you feel when you are sucking dick? Now, can you apply that to anal? You might be able to because it seems you are not so much into the act as you are into what the act symbolizes for you.
I love giving oral because I like knowing that I'm giving pleasure to the guy. I'm also good at it, so I'm more confident in giving the blowjob because I know that he likes what I'm doing (I know that sounds arrogant, but hey it's the truth).
A lot of it is in my mind too - when I'm sucking dick I find myself thinking "I have this guy's cock in my mouth" and that really turns me on, lol. It also helps that I REALLY like swallowing cum - a big turn on for me is bukkake scenes or snowballing. I think applying the mindset to anal is a good idea (I think the thought of a guy getting pleasure from my body is a turn on), it's just that anal comes with other things to worry about for me, like:
-Am I clean enough back there? I hope I don't shit on his cock
-Did he put the condom on properly? Will it break?
-Is my asshole going to tear/expose myself potentially to HIV (if it's a hookup, tho note I never do anal on hookups)
[quote] A few other things. You're young, you have a lot of time to figure out what pushes your buttons. And keep in mind, what buttons you like pushed now may not be the same buttons you like pushed in ten or five or even one year from now.
That's a good point! Though I can't imagine myself ever getting tired of oral lol.
[quote] Also, while getting fucked and using toys currently rates a great big meh, if youre lucky enough to be getting fucked by someone who you really really love, ....well thats a whole different story.
Good point too! The times I've been fucked, the first was a random Craigslist hookup (I know, was 18 and stupid, but with condom), and the other times were with my ex, whom I did love, but I didn't see him as a guy that I wanted topping me (he was too sweet lol).
[quote] Lastly, for someone your age, you seem to have a very healthy and well rounded attitude about sex and exploring that part of yourself. That alone is enough for this bigger dominate guy to say I would give it a try with you.
Thank you sir! :P
[quote] Anyone who has tried as hard as you have deserves a chance. I would try very, very hard to get you there, but if we just couldn't find it, that would be okay too. You sound loveable.
Thank you! I HAVE tried really hard! lol still have yet to try it with my new best friend Albolene though...
[quote] The anal sex act must be the root cause of homophobia, straights are disgusted by it.
I totally agree, and it's exactly what my professor of gay studies in college said too. Straight people (at least older straight people) are freaked out by anal fucking.
[quote] In an 11 year gay male relationship. Very good sex life, but no anal. Oral, frottage, massage, rimming, edging are great... but anal is too much hassle, potentially messy, and not that hot for either of us.
[quote] My partner and I discovered we were both tops but loved oral. We've been together 17 years. No anal but amazing oral and cuddling.
Thanks for the guys who shared their long-lasting relationships that didn't have anal! I'm glad to know there are those out there.
Only 22 votes...bump.
Seriously I would be bored to death with oral only. A blowjob is great but I am going to want to fuck you.
Only 60 votes...not much to do by.
The OP's detailed data analysis and investigation of anecdotal information tells me that he'll be a very bossy bottom when the time comes.
[quote]The anal sex act must be the root cause of homophobia, straights are disgusted by it.
Riiiiiiiight. That must be why nearly every straight porn video has anal sex in it!
OP, straights don't categorically "hate" anal sex, particularly straight MEN, who generally LOVE it (because ass is many times tighter than even virgin pussy). It's women who generally object, and only because they don't have a prostate to get them a "buttgasm."
Also, regardless of the number of people who tell you they'd date a guy not into anal, ALWAYS remember that DL is NEVER representative of gay men as a whole. Most of this site's users have one or multiple mental illnesses, and many of the ones who refuse to do anal have that mentality due to PTSD from watching so many of their friends and lovers die of AIDS in the '80s.
Finally: yes, it sounds fucking ridiculous that you have a "bottom mentality" but can't figure out how to do it in a way that you like. Why the fuck can't you top? Who were you bottoming with the times you did get fucked, guys truly interested in pleasuring you or guys who just wanted to get themselves off? If the latter, why can't you find someone who isn't a self-centered prick to fuck you?