I have a roommate who I always thought was worse than me in terms of social skills (and I was pretty bad to start with)and I was in the kitchen just now and he was sitting there at the kitchen table, with her backpack ready and jacket on, fiddling around with her phone.
I struck up a conversation with her and I found out that she was going to the movies with a few friends. And instantly I was overcome with a wave of jealousy. So ya, I guess that makes me a mega-loser, that even she has more friends than me and goes out more often than I do. :( Have you had this experience?
Roommate? Backpack? How old are you?
It's August. Who's wearing a jacket?
R1, I have no idea why she was wearing that jacket but she was. She's weird like that.
R1, I'm 18, she's 19.
Gee, OP: it sounds like she's more popular than you are. But even so, maybe some dreamy mystery date will invite you to the junior prom!
18. So little time left to make good. Best just to live out your last years in dignified solitude.
"so ya" I have no words.
As this thread so amply demonstrates, the worst part of being 18 is that your problems are so trivial and boring.
Why do the roommate's gender pronouns keep changing?
OP, I don't know why people are being so snarky to you. I had roommates well into my 30's (NYC, SF; cheap(er) rent that way.) I would say, 90% of the time, no, that wouldn't bother me - I would expect she would have her friends and I would have mine.
But when I was your age, I probably would have felt funny once in a while, especially if (a) I didn't have anything especial to do, (b) it was a movie I would like to see and (c) I wanted to be friends with her.
Your feelings are your feelings!
"So, what movie are you going to see?"
Backpacker: "The new Jennifer Aniston classic."
"Sounds good, would you mind if I tagged along?"
Backpacker: "Well, ya...duh...of course you can tag along. I didn't know you were into JA.."
You both laugh and a new closeness begins.
[quote]Your feelings are your feelings!
That's worked in metal above the entrance gate to Michfest.
OP, I prefer a little more social caution than R11, because many people don't know how to gracefully say they don't want to spend time with you, and feel put on the spot. Since you live with her, it's in your best interest to keep the feeling around the house as comfy for both people as you can.
Next time this comes up, breezily say "Oh, I was thinking of seeing that. Let me know if it's good." This way, she can invite on the spot, but doesn't feel pressured to say yes. Better to leave her to it, giving her a gentle indication that you are open. If she invites on the spot but seems kinda weird about it, again with the casual tone say "Oh no no, I wouldn't want to intrude on your plans with friends. But I'd love to catch a movie with you some time." This way he has to go out of his way to invite you, which means he was totally okay with it, and he has an easy out in case he wasn't really keen on another person coming along. (I feel I have to change the pronouns, to cover both genders the OP referred to!)
Make sure to invite him or her to something another time. Like, I'm going to get some dinner at XYZ place - wanna come too? That way your friendship starts easily and without pressure.
This is the story of my life. I know a lot of people whose social skills are no better than mine, and mine are pretty rudimentary I admit, and remarkably they all have a bigger social circle than me. I don't get it. I must be a huge reject.
End of thread.
I think the important part of this story is that the roommate is obviously gender confused, as evidenced by the OPs fluid pronouns.
OP, you need to make sure your boundaries are vaguely stated, to ensure s/he will be open to any possible friendship/romance/what-have-you.
I suggest, next time you and he/r are in the kitchen, dumping out a bottle of Coke (not Pepsi) and crabwalking while chanting "Azoedemous"
Works like a charm.
R14, are you on the autism spectrum? Like Asperger's? Either way, it takes practice. You're not a loser or reject. Maybe you just need to learn some social rules and social cues. That's okay. You have your whole life. Start learning and apply what you learn.
Awkward people need and deserve friends too.