"I want you to park your fart box right on my soup cooler!" - Paul Morgan in The General's Son
"Ooh, lick my poo-say!" - unknown twink in a Lollipop Twinks video
"Put that wad in there, bitch!" - queen in a Suite 703 video
What are some of your favorites?
"Fuck me like the trash I am!"
I forgot the title and the actor, but it said on a video in the 1990s. Does anyone remember it?
You like danger, dontcha?
Funny/cheesy lines: Yes baby, I'm uncut.
Some straight pron from years ago, woman receiving oral sex looks down at the guy with a cigarette hanging out her mouth says " do you mind if i smoke while you eat".
"This is my bed and that's my parents' bed. This is where I sleep."
Kevin Williams to Mike Henson in "Big Guns"(?)
Be gentle baby, I'm still a virgin
" Pinga unleased"
The scene R4 remembers is from the most famous porn film of all time, "Deep Throat." I'm surprised he or she didn't remember that.
More lines from that classic:
Linda Lovelace: "How would you like it if your balls were in your ears?"
Harry Reems: "That way...I could hear myself coming!"
"Ben Z"= exhausting !
Johnny Hazzard in response to a masseur who told him that he used to be a big star in porn: "I am big, it's the porn that got small".
This was from a UK Naked Men scene.
"You broke that window..now you FUCK that ass!"
"Ohhh..I'm fixin' to cum!"
Sam Abdul, playing the prince of some fictional country, after threatening a guy with a "gun" in his pants then revealing he didn't have a gun at all:
"My hand was wrapped around my royal penisssssssssss!"
I love that Stryker film, R12! It was hot!
I have an all-black porn from the 90s in which one of the tops refers to his partner's "light-skinneded butt" that never fails to crack me up. It totally takes me out of the scene!
From some 80s porn, I have no idea what it means but it's still my favorite line:
Fuck me like I stole something!
"You're the one that I want."
-John Travolta in Grease
Pornos have lines?
Another goodie from "Deep Throat":
Linda Lovelace: "It makes me feel tingly all over and then nothing...there should be bells ringing, dams bursting, bombs going off!"
Saw some straight porn movie in a mainstream theater (midnight showing, college town) a few years ago...
The man and woman were in a storage closet. They were spies or something. He was fucking her from behind. He knew that she was an agent or something? There was a random bowl of soup on a shelf, and she asked him if he wanted some soup and then he smashed her face in the soup and fucked her while he drowned her.
It had John Holmes in it I think. It's not as violent as I made it sound. It was really campy and silly.
"Making It Huge" was one of porn star Jim Bentley's first films. He plays a farm boy who comes to LA to make it huge in show biz, and ends up becoming a porn star instead. Art imitating life, I guess.
Anyway, in the movie, Jim's finally about to shoot his first porn scene with big star Jeremy Scott, and the two are being directed by Newland Devereaux (doubtless related to Blanche; both GG and this movie debuted in 1985).
Newland Devereaux is thrillingly performed by a curious mainstay of those early porn days, a rotund old queen named Terry LeGrand, who also produced and directed some gay porn, and often played nellie old queens when the script demanded. Method acting, I suppose.
In the scene, Devereaux/LeGrand is telling the wide-eyed boys "now first I want you to go down on him, then I want you to sixty-nine..."
The Jeremy Scott character has a star moment and interrupts. "Yes, yes, we get it, dahling, but is my hair all right?"
Devereaux lispingly responds, "It'th fine, Mith Thtanwyck, jutht THUCK the DICK."
The late great gay porn star, Jon Vincent, had the best lines. They sizzled:
"I'm gonna pop that back wall baby."
"This is no dream baby, this is happening."
"Let me go in deep. Here it comes baby. There it is. Doing damage baby, it's doing damage".
Me so hor-nay
"Santa, I always wanted to be a dentist. . .but whores are fine."
-a nasally elf in "A Christmas Orgy"
In the same video, courtesy of Ron Jeremy:
"You're hung like a horse. A seahorse."
Afterwards, the dialogue is interrupted by a porn.
Back when I watched straight porn I rented one with Dennis Parker(Wade Nichols) in it. It was the cheapest, cheesiest thing ever made. The insertion shots and action closeups were obviously a different top than the full length shots. Maybe a different bottom. The topper was that all of the moaning and dialogue during the fucking was looped and was euphemism after euphemism about the sex. "Are you ready for my torpedo?" "Time to put the baby to bed!" It was a riot!