Yes you have, r2.
Why lie to your friends on the DL?
BTW, I've never been to Oregon, tasted shark, or ridden in a Chevrolet Corvette.
I've had my heart broken twice. Yes, I was in love. But I'm never leaving myself open to that kind of pain again.
Yes and not at Wendy's. it's hard on me.
Yes. Twice. The first one was physically abusive and the second one I loved him more than he loved me and he cheated. That was over a decade ago. Next time, I hope I don't fall in love, I hope I rise into it.
No. Never had a relationship in all my 41 years. Lots of sex but no love. I hope to have a relationship someday, but I think everyone would perceive my (lack of) history as utterly damning. Oh well. Life sucks. What are you gonna do?
Yes, I've been in Love. Then I killed myself.
[quote]Next time, I hope I don't fall in love, I hope I rise into it.
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
Only once was it returned.
Do I have to have actually spoken to him?
If not, then yes, many times.
I have. And it was heaven. They all ended badly but somehow they came back and we remained friends.
No, OP. Infatuated many times, in love yet to come.
I'm not sure. In time, with distance, I always end up wondering whether I was ever really in love at all.
There is nothing like the feeling of being physically and emotionally close to someone else. Unless you're not a people person.
I fall in love every time I see a guy with a smooth pair of bubbles.
No, and I'm okay with it.
Twice. One loved me devotedly, one ever elusive, unfaithful. Guess which I still brood over, many years later?
More times than I can count. That's just the way I'm built.
[quote]There is nothing like the feeling of being physically and emotionally close to someone else
I've lived without it for most of my life, I'm curious about it, but I'm not going to die over it either if it never happens.
Seems the only people who are interested in me are married bisexual women who want to irritate their husbands...sigh.
Most single people are completely content being single. It's the miserable couples that want to compartmentalize everyone into twos.
"I'm not sure. In time, with distance, I always end up wondering whether I was ever really in love at all."
I don't fall easily, in fact only twice in my life has the thought even entered my mind as a possibility.
But neither situation worked out, and now years later I wonder if I ever was.
I would wonder what counts as "in love" but I've never come close, never felt especially strong about anyone.
Yes. I wouldn't recommend it.
Those of you who are in love at the moment, how do you know?
I'm depressed - I'm 32 and never even had a boyfriend, let alone been in love. It's because I live in a shitty small town and I don't know any other gay people. I feel like my looks are just going to waste and feel like I'll never find someone.
R29, don't lose your heart. Something good may happen, soon. I feel that you want things to change and i know that sometimes we are not ready or feel strong enough to move on. You don't need to despair if you cannot change things at the moment. Some days are better than others and far more giving. Maybe in one of those days you'll find the boyfriend or the stimulation you need. No need to see your situation with despair or sarcasm. Do yourself a favor! Be good to yourself, don't be unhappy. You still have a future, but even if you were 80, you can always experience some certain happiness. Just be patient with yourself, and with your routine.
Yes once. And it all ended in misery.
"Never love him more than he loves you." - words of wisdom
why don't you move, r32? how small is your town?
I've been to a Wendy's but I've never been to me...
I've been truly in love twice. First time was a torrid, dramatic, angst-ridden roller coaster, it ended badly. Second time I'm still with him. He makes me laugh every single day.
sorry that was meant for r29
With a person, I have experienced love in one relationship of 12 years.
But I have to say that my love for my beautiful Golden Retriever is unbounded and 100% unconditional. I LOVE that dog.
I go back and forth between guys who adore me but are boring and guys who are unavailable but hot as fuck. The first kind is very successful, together, and very respectful in bed. The second kind is very slutty, very noncommittal, but electric in bed.
I'm with the first kind right now. I think of the second kind while we're in bed, and I moan and scream like I did with him. While I gaze into adoring, but respectful eyes. Maybe this will work out?
Yes. I thought I had been in love a few times, until I met the one that got away. That was real love. Destroyed me when it ended. He's recently come back into my life. I posted about it in this thread:
I understand completely R35. Seventeen years we lived together and were still happy to see each other every morning.
Luckily I found a guy for whom I feel an equivalent. Who knew?
Lust? Sure! Love? An artificial construct created by literature and Hallmark.
Love? Lord above!
Now you're tryin' to trick me in love
Yes and it's rarely mutual and I've made mistakes on top of that.
Yes it was awful and humiliating. They left me and I was a wreck. I had no dignity I begged him to take me back. My best friend even said I was acting like a stalker and basically dumped me afterwards too. I whored around for a few years and now I just want to be left alone and drink. Nobody but my cat and my family gives a shit about me anymore but I've gotten pretty good at just keeping to myself. I think I may have loved a second guy but it was a different situation after the first one too so my expectations were low
How old are you, r43?
I was in a thirteen-month relationship that felt like Heaven at first. But we drifted apart, and when I lost the ability to trust him, I broke it off. I want to be in love with another man but I'm scared of being hurt or misled again.
Properly in love?
You are too young to give up ,r45.
Just my two cents observation, but I don't think there's a difference between love and infatuation. Give an infatuation six months to a couple of years and it goes away almost completely. The feeling of 'love' is infatuation, except you've gotten too comfortable to realise it's approaching its expiry date, on account of moving in together, vacationing together, spending every day together, meeting each other's parents, making each other dinner or getting a dog, and so on. Infatuation really only lasts five to ten seasons, IMHO--after that you'll see it evolve into close, intimate friendship/ a spousal relationship/life partners, and you lose the raging passion and soul-devouring feelings you had as just 'lovers'. Unless, of course, you have distance between you or long periods apart, which protracts the 'lovers' scenario (call it The Brokeback Paradigm?).
Four times. Love being in love.
Vice once compared romantic or erotic Love with money and christmas. Always liked that parallel. All three are just little conceptual injections of sedative that make our hyper civilised society a little fairer and more bearable, but are really ephemeral and meaningless. All are exchanges of credit, to a certain degree, and here's the best and most freeing part--we really don't need any of them.
Ridiculous R51. Love is a biological imperative. The rest is social conditioning.
OK...then define what biological factor determines love. Which gene or DNA code or hormone produces the feeling of love? What are it's effects, how long do they last? How does this determinate function with the rest of the human organism? Is it evident in other species? Did Neanderthal man have it too?
I'm genuinely curious to hear this argument, no sarcasm implied.
otherwise, R52, it seems neither of our arguments are watertight. The problem with love is that no one can figure out what it is or why it happens (or is said to happen). My feeling is that it's still an old wives tale--medieval thinkers used to believe the cosmos revolved around planet earth, and that an imbalance of blood or phlegm caused disease,NAND that is where the notion of courtly or romantic/idealistic love is thought to begin, so it's not too much of a stretch to discredit it. I don't think it's cynical or sour, just pragmatic.
Nobody would believe in it if they hadn't felt it R53.