All Threads by Date

Losing a Friend

I was invited on vacation with a friend of mine ("Rick"). It was to last two weeks, and we'd be going to various resorts, and he would be picking up all the expenses except my plane ticket. Rick doesn't have many friends and has been very generous and kind to me over the years. I really like him a lot but I'm in a quandry as to how to proceed because of what happened at the end of the trip. Rick is bipolar, unmedicated, and thinks people who take pills are weak-minded. When he's on a manic high, he can stay up for weeks at a time, existing on as little as two hours of sleep a night. He is always intense, a little too intense, and it seems he has few friends because of it. The only other people he counts as friends are on his payroll. I spent many years with another bipolar guy and it got so bad in that situation I had to threaten to leave if he didn't get help. He finally did. In this case, as well, I was one of his only friends (and still am). By the time we hit SF, Rick and I checked into the Mandarin and went out to visit a friend of mine in the Castro. During the short ride back to the hotel, Rick flipped out over my driving and when we pulled up to the valet he ordered him not to let me use the car out. "This is my car," he said. "Do NOT let him take it out." (It was a rental. I'm a good driver. I wasn't planning on using it.) I was shocked by what he said, and I guess I hadn't taken his "fit" seriously until this point. The paranoia was taking over, and transforming into blind anger. He issued another ultimatum ("no more driving for you. I take over from now on, or this vacation is over"). There was no basis for this outburst and paranoia, and I refused, mostly on principle, whereupon, he kicked me out of the hotel and ended our vacation, stranding me in SF. I was so upset with him that I told him I hate him and never want to see him again. I regret that. He texted back: "You won't." I don't want this. I like the guy. What would you do? Would you even try? We've had a good 10-year friendship, but we're both really stubborn. Advice? It's been a couple of months and we haven't spoken.

Thread Watcher
Click here if you are using an iPhone or iPad

DataLounge get your fix of gay gossip, news and pointless bitchery.



Talking to DataLounge servers.
Please wait a moment...