Have You Experienced An Event That Traumatized You For Life?
Would be interesting to see how many of us have experienced severe trauma and how we were able to cope with it ongoing.
Yes, being born.
When Cherry died on "China Beach."
Gianni Versace's death.
He was my fix for coke. I still haven't gotten over it.
I had a break-up 20 years ago that was so brutal that I think it broke me forever and left me incapable of forming lasting, trusting relationships. Serious trust issues that have yet to be resolved.
Brutally raped, face smashed in, left for dead. A week in the hospital and a good facial reconstruction surgeon, still my face aches and has numb spots.
Coping mechanism? Denial that it happened and occasional bouts of despair.
R6, you poor soul. Best of luck in your continued recovery.
I keep reading such powerful stuff on DL, these past few days.
[quote]I had a break-up 20 years ago that was so brutal that I think it broke me forever and left me incapable of forming lasting, trusting relationships. Serious trust issues that have yet to be resolved.
Same here, the same exact thing happened to me.
I'm so sorry to hear that, r6. I hope you're okay.
I saw something nasty in the woodshed.
Have mentioned this before on here: I was a passenger on the Air France flight that was hijacked to Entebbe in 1976. Since I am Jewish, I was one of the 102 Jews held (as hostages) until the Israelis carried out the famous rescue mission. I, along with all of the others, were certain we would die. Several of them did, but it could have been a lot worse.
I still have nightmares about that, even after all these years. It was also years before I ever set foot on a plane again.
MAME with Lucille Ball.
((hugs to everyone))
That does sound horrifying, r11...but you will always have an amazing true story to tell.
Technically not an event, but my mother.
yes a few and it takes a lifetime to get over them
I remember you posting about this years ago, R11.
I remember you answering questions. It was so interesting. I looked for your posts in the archives once, but they were gone.
I think someone asked you if you ever saw any of the films about the event and if you rated any of them. I can't remember your answer. Do you mind if I ask you again?
Incest by dad. I win.
[quote]but you will always have an amazing true story to tell.
Yes, definitely an attention grabber at dinner parties.
.01/ 10 for lying attentionwhore R11. Like we haven't read THAT one before.
Santa Claus. The people I loved most, lied to me and the thing I most loved, wasn't even real. After that, I became skeptical of everything.
To answer R17's question: It took me awhile, but I did finally watch both of the movies I know of that were made of the event.
Raid on Entebbe starred Charles Bronson and was the far better of the two. Several of the actual Israeli soldiers who were actually on the mission were used in the movie, as were some of the passengers. The accounts presented in this movie were very true to the facts.
Victory at Entebbe was a made for TV movie starring Elizabeth Taylor, Burt Lancaster and Linda Blair and was "ok", but they fudged on a few facts and it kind of reeked of Hollywood.
I found my father dead when I was 17. Cardiac arrest.
Living in a third world country as a child, saw suffering people and acts of intense cruelty to animals.
Can someone find r11's complete story? Because I can't find it.
Working for AT&T.
Beatings as a child.
Once, I accidentally purchased a jar of low fat mayonaisse.
OMG, R28, that very same thing happened to me!!!
R11, I also recall your story. I also recall someone posting who was a survivor of the Tenerife crash, I believe.
Oh, shit, R24. That is fucking horrible. :(
Dad died when I was 8. Two of my brothers were killed - One murdered and one hit by a drunk driver. One of my really good friends was carjacked and he was also shot in the face multiple times. All of this happened before I was 21.
Needless to say, it fucked me up a bit in regard to getting attached to people. I'm very disconnected and can usually take or leave anyone in my life now. It's hard to form strong loving bonds when you know people can be taken from you in an instant. Even with (especially) my family.
Sad, because I long for connection and love. It took me until I was 40 to have a real relationship. And of course I'm always on edge and find myself being way too clingy sometimes for fear something bad will happen :( Thankfully my partner is understanding, as he knows where it stems from.
That's a lot to handle R32. Glad you found someone to love who understands.
My grandmothers death last year, I was very close to her and and a financial breakdown about five years ago. I feel like I cant get back up. I dont have that willpower anymore. I assume everything is gonna be shit anyway.
beef curtains in the face. I'm still in therapy.
And I'm sure he does every chance he gets, R14.
YAASSSS, nearly every time I read DL, hunny.
Viewing my mother dead from cancer at the funeral home.
Ravaged by cachexia — she had no breasts, stomach or hips — and hard and cold to the touch.
"She looks really good," my father said before we went in. She didn't. She looked like she had been in agony.
My impulse was not to go and see her that way. I wish I hadn't. I'd have preferred my memories of her alive.
When my father dies, I think I'll let my stepmother handle it and stay away.
Katrina and the collapse of the levees (yes, I evacuated, but there wasn't anything to come home to -- lost my job, lost track of friends and family, still don't sleep well).
No one gave me a ride to Michfest.
R34, how close were you to the financial breakdown? Was it related to the 2008 financial crisis?
R41 No it wasnt related to the financial breakdown in 2008,but my family and I were quite wealthy and from one day to the next lost our business. We are doing better now, but I havent yet gone back to my old lifestyle. I became depressed gained weight.. Im just way more miserable and dont know if I can ever feel that great again.
My dad had a stroke in front of me in 2004. He lingered 3 weeks and never worke up. He was fine one second and a second later gone. I still have nighmares and flashbacks so real I have actually called 911 thinking I'm seeing my dad have a stroke again. I'm finally in therapy. Couldn't afford it before.
Feeling the rupture of my coronary chakra (on the top of the head) while masturbating (I am not kidding).
I was an addicted on masturbation, and once it happened, I felt all my chakra system - and energetic body - entering in a total colapse. It was horrible, I had serious health problems from it.
What have you done to rebuild your chakra system, R44?
Who could you talk to about it? A regular MD will think you're nuts of you go with talk about chakras. I know.
Almost ate some potato salad that wasn't made with Duke's.
Diagnosis of cancer, surgery, radiation. Ok now but live in fear fear it comes back.
My dad psychologically abused me as a child. My mom watched and did nothing.
My mother abandoned me when I was 2 years old. But I was the lucky one. She allowed my sister and brother (ages 7 and 5) to be molested by numerous 'friends' of hers.
Yes, a break-up almost 10 years ago. I was very young (19) and it was my first real relationship. We moved quickly and moved in together right away (I know, I know, typical lesbians). When we broke up (less than a year later) she left quite suddenly with no warning and refused to even answer calls for nearly two months. During that time I started having panic attacks, and even though now I'm way, waaaay over the relationship and am happily married, I still have panic attacks and anxiety to this day.
My partner of 16 years left suddenly and completely without warning never indicating that he was not happy and what dramatic change he had in mind.
It feels like a life long wound and I've never found another partner.
I feel guilty mentioning this because I know a good number of other people experience life changing breakups. But the longevity of our partnership made this a deep wound.
Don't feel guilty, 52. Traumatic is traumatic.
[quote]I feel guilty mentioning this because I know a good number of other people experience life changing breakups.
Doesn't make your pain any the less. But you have to learn to move on. His loss.
A number of events including some mentioned here (abuse, rape) plus robbery, assault, being accused of things I didn't do, fired, evicted, loved ones die. I'd say the most traumatic year was probably 1990 since it was one thing after another for more than a year. But oddly enough it was stuff that had nothing to do with me - realizing our national and business leaders are virtually without exception violent crazy killers and psychopaths - that really changed things and made even small things tough to bear. I have found it virtually impossible to reintegrate into society because whenever I meet a person carrying himself with the "I Count, I'm somebody" swagger, I feel physically ill like I'm in the presence of some species of terrible insect.
It is one of the cruelest things that people can do to just simply leave a long term relationship or cut off contact with no explanation or warning. People need closure. It's really cruel and cowardly and nobody should do it. I've had it happen to me and it fucked me up for the next eight months (although I wouldn't say it was traumatic traumatic).
Yes. John Travolta and Lily Tomlin in "Moment
Sofia Coppola in GODFATHER III. I can honestly say I still haven't recovered from that and fear I will, in fact, never be the same again.
I was always close to my father. He experienced an enormous financial collapse one year, fell into a depression, and suddenly disappeared. We haven't heard from him since. We had a number of traumatic events in the family, but that one was the worst for me.
Be well R6.
When I found out my Mom was killed in an auto accident on the way to pick me up...that wasn't fun.
Yes. I experienced events. Throughout my childhood I was sexually, physically, and emotionally abused by my father. As a result I suffer from PTSD.
[quote]When my father dies, I think I'll let my stepmother handle it and stay away.
What if it's a murder-suicide?
Yea, I trusted my doctor & the FDA and took Cipro for a "suspected" sinus infection. It completely crippled me. Changed my life forever. And it didn't even help with my infection.
The Who concert. Yes, THAT Who concert. I was 15, lost a shoe.
Lost my mother to suicide when I was 8. I've had several other traumas but it always comes back to mother. It magnified other losses. To me, a normal breakup became devastating. I'm better now but it took its toll.
Years ago, I came home to pick up my long term partner to go house-hunting. She wasn't home. This was before cell phones were ubiquitous. I walked through the apartment, very confused. Something felt off. Thirty minutes after arriving home, I found a note taped to a picture on the wall. It said "I can't do this anymore." She had taken all the valuable stuff from the apartment. We had been together for seven years.
It so traumatized me that I was pretty fucked up for a long time.
Met a guy, dated for two weeks. Got a call from my brother in law (a cop) that he was shot while walking his dog. That was 12 years ago. Thought that was traumatizing.
Since 2012, in the space of a year, my cousin was shot in a murder suicide (loved her dearly). Her mother died of cancer a few months later. One of her sisters' son was killed in a car accident on new years. Found my partner of seven years dead in bed, 4 o'clock on a Saturday afternoon, 3 months ago.
Have always had some trust and abandonment issues, but don't think I will ever be the same person again.
Severe and repeated child abuse. I "coped" by developing multiple personalities, PTSD and some other secondary issues.
I'm nearly 50 and I think I'm nearing my expiration date. In the past couple of years I have had a lot of flashbacks that caused blackout periods with no memories. My physical health is already deteriorating, too.
It's nothing like it is in the movies, but it's still pretty fucked up.
R64 - I hope you see this response. Research glutathione therapy.
I had taken Avelox (Cipro v2) and had the same issue but I caught the problem early. A co-worker took Avelox also and was in severe pain for 10 months.
She found this amino acid powder that reduced her pain by 90% in a week. Cystine converts to glutathione once ingested. Glutathione rids the body of toxins.
I took the powder and along with physical therapy, my pain was gone in a few weeks.
Sending you hugs.
Yes, given away for adoption. How does one get over that?
My girlfriend dumping me in January because she is going back to being straight. That was harder than running out of the building on 9/11
[quote] Thirty minutes after arriving home, I found a note taped to a picture on the wall. It said "I can't do this anymore." She had taken all the valuable stuff from the apartment. We had been together for seven years.
Several posts about partners suddenly leaving without warning.
Do they disappear off the face of the earth? Do they always change their names and move to another state?
Otherwise I'd track them down and expect some serious answers, especially in relation to that monster taking 'all the valuable stuff'.
This is a case for Judge Judy, quite frankly.
The Republican Party.
I’m with [R15] my Mother was an emotionally abusive woman who started blaming me for her unhappiness when I was about ten, I could never have friends because she couldn’t stand them. Looked for the worst in them and told me on a regular basis. After my father would go to sleep, she would make me come out of the bedroom while she drunkenly went over everything I’d done wrong in my life explain to me how I made her miserable and how I’d killed her love for me. Tell me that she should have had an abortion, and on occasion get physically abusive.
Once she went to slap me and I put my arm up to block her hand from making contact with my face. Her wrist made contact with my arm and she declared that I’d hit her. She followed by calling everyone in the family the following day and telling them I’d hit her.
She couldn’t stand the idea of my dad paying me any positive attention, so when she’d hear him pull up she’d start yelling at me for any reason that she could think of making it look like we argued all day. Then he’d come in the door yelling at me too and I’d hear how I was to blame for him not being able to come home and relax.
I was sexually assaulted by a teacher at 13 and I couldn’t bring myself to tell them because I just knew it had to be my fault. I told them when I was 20 and my father was upset that I hadn’t told him at the time.
To shorten the story (some at least) I have a hard time trusting people and look for the worst in everyone. This seems like a good thing from the outside (I can be freakishly accurate in evaluating a person in the first meeting. Which when I turn out to be right later usually makes my friends wish they’d listened.) but, I have a hard time allowing people into my life on any level.
Despite everything my mother and I loved each other. She’s been dead for nine years, my father just over a year. I’m 31 and with the exception of a few friends that I talk to on a daily basis my life is exclusively shared with my female basset hound.
OMG..hugs to all of you who have suffered. Reading these small snippets that you have posted is making me sad. Cannot imagine. Hope you all feel better.
R62, are you a dog on the way to Michfest?
I began to study everything about vibrational medicine and realized that every thinking we create has an energetic signature.
Unhopefully the sexual thinking brings low frequences to our energetic systems. The lower, the more dense is. The higher, the more subtle is.
I changed completely my actitudes, began on a regular meditation pratices and receiving frequences of brilliance sessions. Crystal therapy too. Another wonderful therapy is called Amanae, I strongly recommend it too. All these therapies, plus a frugal alimentation helped me to rebuild my chakra system - but it was not easy.
A question for those who were suddenly left by their partners: do you now think there were any signs that they wanted to leave?
It must have been a horrific shock for you when it happened. How does one cope and move on after something like that?
Did you ever get to hear why they left? I wonder how they just can go on and I wonder if they ever think of what they did.
Interesting R78. I'm going to read up about some of your therapies.
[quote]Unhopefully the sexual thinking brings low frequences to our energetic systems. The lower, the more dense is. The higher, the more subtle is.
So, what are you saying? You need to limit the amount of time you think about sex?
R77, I don't follow. Did I miss a Datalounge meme?
R75 Pretty similar mother but she did not drink.
meh. I've typed two pages and it's worthless to you.
TL;DR: This life has provided many ugly adventures for me and you may not be the right audience. Until you're ready, I'm supposed to be kind.
Remember: I'm not keeping secrets. It's just that I've been through every reaction and they're kind of tiresome. Also, when I don't "reveal", I'm considered secretive. I don't have secrets - just old tales you haven't heard.
Net: blah, blah, blah. You're all worthy of love and respect.
The weird part is that I always knew history was about bad people doing bad things, but somehow that didn't translate to my life...until the bad people I know from say college were suddenly in power doing bad things.
"Until you're ready, I'm supposed to be kind."
Sounds like false advertising. What you should do is wait a couple weeks and then start a thread focused on your problems alone.
Sounds like, "I Had to have my best friend killed. They were holding my unborn children hostage!"
Watching the towers fall with my naked eye.
Severe trauma scars you for life, thanks for asking, OP.
R67, I feel so bad for all you've gone through but admire you IMMENSELY for saying, "gotta keep on trucking." I have nothing nearly as bad as what you've described in my life, but I sit around feeling sorry for myself and going up from 200+, bad enough, to now, 300+ (lbs, I mean.)
"Poor me", 'cause I'm disabled and live somewhere I hate. But look what you've overcome - bravo! You have really helped me, and OP, thanks for starting this thread.
Mother died when I was born. Father resented me for it and did nothing to disguise his contempt for me. A few years later he married a woman who turned out to be BPD. Constantly beaten, yelled at, insulted by my parents. The worst homophobic abuse I have ever encountered has come from them. Would say things like, gays should be thrown into a desert island and nuked. I loved my (step)mom so much as a little kid but she was erratic and explosive as a powder keg.
I grew up convinced I was one of the most hideous unlovable creatures that ever lived. I *knew* I was a disgrace and an undeserved embarrassment for my family because I was gay, and grotesque looking, and weird. The certainty with which I held this was absolute. I wanted to dissolve and disappear.
Studied so hard, almost straight As but my semi-constant A-/B+ grades in math and science meant I was "lazy" and no good. My friends were never good enough for my parents. Neither were my hobbies, the music I made or played, the things I read, my hair, even the way I walked.
Now I am in my early 30s, happy, rich, successful, attractive, fit, multilingual, well-travelled, great friends, terrific relationships. I get along fantastically with my parents and siblings. We worked it all out eventually with a lot of kindness and empathy, I love my life.
There is so much hope. Never give up.