So how do you handle knowing that no one will ever be attracted to you?
I feel totally worthless, undesirable and ugly.
No guy is ever attracted to me.
And please don't say it is attitude or the vibe you give off. The gay community is superficial, and no matter what vibe you give off, if you are attractive you will always get guys.
I don't need to lose weight or get any plastic surgery to fix anything.
So how do you handle knowing that no one will ever be attracted to you.
I need to know now SPILL IT!
Are you one of the trolls who lives at NYSC West 80th? If so, you are correct, no one ever will be attracted to you....go home.
If we are being serious then you make a new life for yourself with your friends and family. Nothing is promised to any of us. Be a man and do what you like. That is the nature of the community. But you life is worth more than how you look into someone else's eyes.
So here is the thing...
I GIVE UP!
I just have to accept the fact I'm too ugly to get laid. I've tried everything to improve my looks and to get laid.
NOTHING HAS WORKED.
I've put TONS of postings on hookup sites. But tons of guys have put me on IGNORE cause I'm so ugly.
I've gone to the baths twice a week, lying on my bed for EIGHT HOURS straight. No takers, Even when I lie on my stomach with my ass in the air, no one is interested. Some guys even use a different direction in the halls to avoid my room.
I've tried hiring hustlers and escorts. When they see my picture, they have ALL turned the assignment down.
Some guys here on CL say I can't be so ugly, send me your pic. When I do, I never hear back from them. Some have even programmed their emails so it gets bounced back to me.
Some guys say "Come by my place' I fuck anything. When I do, almost all have shut the door in my face
So I just have to accept the fact, I'm just too UGLY
So this is where I need help. I need words of wisdom from you guys on how to accept celibacy, and the fact I will probably never get laid EVER.
I just want to make peace with it.
So how do I do that?
This thread is useless without pics.
R4 I don't want to crack your computer monitor
How old are you, OP?
The Voice of the Night
[quote] I've tried hiring hustlers and escorts. When they see my picture, they have ALL turned the assignment down.
[quote]I've tried hiring hustlers and escorts. When they see my picture, they have ALL turned the assignment down.
You send them your picture? Why?
The OP must be hideous. I find myself attracted to people many consider unattractive. I wish we could see you because I just bet you would find someone here that would be hot for you. Even if you are a midget I might be interested, actually very interested.
R10 if hustlers desperate for cash to get meth for their habit, find me repulsive. And won't even touch even if they are truly desperate for their meth.
Why would you?
OP, when I was a bit younger than you, I was convinced I was going to die alone and unloved too. When I first started talking to my husband online, I had to rush out to buy a webcam because I was sure he'd take one look at me and run screaming in the other direction. We've been married two years now, and have been together ten after next week.
Sometimes it takes you stopping looking so hard before you find the right guy. And I know everyone will give you the crap about having to love yourself first, but I won't say that. I will say that you need to at least like yourself.
The Voice of the Night
And hustlers on meth would fuck anything walking for cash. except me
I have had the door shut in my face by some very ugly guys. I have also been embraced and pursued by some very hot guys. For me, sex begins in the head. An attitude alone can set me to hum
R12 if no one in the world likes me, how can I?
Even hustlers desperate for cash to feed their addiction won't touch me.
Assuming you're not an EST, there must be something about you that you like.
The Voice of the Night
I just want to accept the fact, I'm just too UGLY.
And make peace with that.
So how do I do that.
Men discovered a solution for this ages ago. Darkness.
Do you have friends, even one friend, OP? What about work friends?
I will agree with your premise that you are too ugly to get laid. So stop trying. It must be very frustrating, if I were you I would just close the door on that possibility. Make more of the rest of your life. Be loved for good things that you do.
I once had a very active sex life, lived with lovers, was wanted. That stopped when I was still young. After years of a serious illness and now aging, I am no longer attractive. No one would have me that way now. I do still have desire, but I have accepted that it won't be.
I suggest that you seek counseling and talk this all out with a sympathetic ear.
R19 realizes what it's like for homely women. Take what ya can get!
I agree with r19, seek counseling and talk this all out with a sympathetic ear.
Not everyone is looking for handsome when they are looking for a person to fuck, have a relationship with or be friends with. They want someone smart, kind, funny, someone they can talk with and be comfortable being themselves with. These are all qualities that you have control over and can cultivate.
If you can't find someone to fuck or have a relationship with work on making more friends.
Your only value in life is not what you look like.
[quote]Your only value in life is not what you look like.
I wish more people realized this. It really fucks people up.
Move to an uglier part of the country, OP.
Do you have all your teeth? You'd be a hit in Alabama.
So how do you handle knowing that no one will ever be attracted to you?
You become a republican
There's one thing to be said about masturbation: you certainly don't have to look your best.
Do you ever smile?
OP, tell us what you think your assets are.
Like anything else, OP, you are probably the one that hates yourself. You are likely the one with the poor self-image, bad attitude and self-hatred. You were likely conditioned to feel this way by your parents and now you've internalised their indifference towards you and you will continue to seek situations where you can actualise these feelings because it's all you know. You think this is all about how other people feel about you, it's everybody else's fault. Poor you. Keep those terrible feelings alive.
Guess what? We're not all responsible for the way you feel. You are. We can only respond to your behaviour which is currently stuck in a self-dramatising loop of familiar feelings and dynamics you developed in childhood. So get some therapy. Stop blaming others. Stop playing the victim - which is oh so comfortable and satisfying. You know what? You have to put some effort into life, just like everybody else does. You have to do the work. All this low self-image/poor me stuff is just a way to keep yourself on the sidelines so you don't have to take any risks.
More than anything, you're doing this to yourself. Get some therapy, make a commitment. Do the work.
What do you think gloryholes are for, darlin'?
OP = Brian Peppers
You can be a character actor. Or the villain. You can be admired for that.
Hit the bars in the hour before last call.
R28 then how do you explain hustlers not even willing to take my money to fund their meth habit?
They don't care if I hate myself or not. They just want the cash.
But one look at my pic, they say no thanks.
Now try to spin that?
I just want to find peace with this. That I'm so unattractive, no one wants me.
That peace has to come from you, OP. You have to find it. We can't give it to you.
And the very first thing you need to do is stop being so hard on yourself.
R35 I just want to accept and come to terms and peace that I'm not desirable at all.
I masturbate furiously to Tumblr.
OP Why on earth are you sending hustlers your photo?
NO one sends hustlers a photo, they call, order and wait. What planet do you live on...the planet stupid?
You just get over it and move on, period.
OP? Quit fucking whining. We get it. You're ugly and not even meth addled hustlers will fuck you. It sucks. But accepting this is very simple to do. You. Just. Do. It. Make a choice to not worry about it. Laugh about it instead. Hone other skills. Life goes on, even for the ugly.
R38 if I don't send them my photo they walk away after they take one look at me in person.
If I go to the hustlers place, they have shut the door in my face.
This despite needing cash for their meth habit.
[quote] You just get over it and move on, period.
R39 you would just take a vow of celibacy?
If you were totally undesirable to the entire world, how would you handle it?
R40 it just makes me sad.
I'm coming her for support, guidance and advice.
I would just get over it, realize masturbation was my only outlet, and move on. Period.
I don't get it. Plain people find each other every day. Maybe your standards are too high--you remain bummed that pretty people repeatedly reject you. And you won't consider others.
I've seen derelicts with bad breath and poor hygiene get partners. Don't tell me there's no one right for you. (Or post a pic and we'll reconsider your plight.)
OP, Seriously, there are many people in the world that are ugly on the outside. Think of the burn victims, war vets, men with serious facial deformities. I've seen men that never take off their facial bandages, or wear a ski mask
I do think that 30 is still young and you never know what the future may hold. Next time there's a natural disaster, go and volunteer. It may lift your spirits, and you'll probably meet a better quality of people that have other priorities in their lives than the way a trick looks.
R45 I'm even willing to PAY FOR IT
But even hustlers won't take my money.
What do you think makes you ugly? Describe your features.
[quote] What do you think makes you ugly?
Hustlers won't even take my money
That pretty much sums it up
What, do you look like Cthulu or something?
If you don't want to post a picture, maybe you could post an artist's rendition.
As I said in a previous post, if I post a pic your computer screen will crack.
OP? Quit saying hustlers won't fuck you. We get it. You've said it like ten times. I have a feeling your personality is much uglier than your face. And that, friend, you can change.
Like I said R53 Hustlers don't give a damn about a person's personality. They only want the money.
But I'm so repulsive, there is no amount of money a hustler will accept.
OP, are you sincere about wanting thoughts from people here? You push back on everything that's said and seem to relish in the role of nature's victim. Tell us about the times you have hooked up and what the attraction was on both sides.
Hey OP. I have a brilliant idea. Hire a hustler! Surely, they will fuck you!
OP, do you have open, draining pustules on your face? A big mole on the tip of your nose with large, wiry hairs growing out of it? Do your eyes look in different directions? You can't possibly be all that repulsive. Do people on the street gasp when they see you and give you wide berth? If not, then you're like most average people. Not beautiful, but not gross, either.
Somehow I have a feeling your unattractiveness has absolutely nothing to do with your looks.
We get it. You are as ugly as sin and hustlers looking for drug money won't fuck you. Message received.
Not stop fucking saying that hustlers won't fuck you. It is as annoying as you are ugly.
Just accept it, you hideous troll, and move on. There is no magic formula for getting over this.
To help out, just masturbate. The end result is pretty much the same with or without someone else there.
OP, you should feel blessed. Hear me out. Now that you won't be distracted by relationship drama, you can focus on your gift. You are on this earth for a reason. You need to focus on what you can give to humanity. I bet you have talents you can share with the world. Good luck.
Think of it this way... a whole new market for "yo momma so ugly" jokes.
[quote]"The way we IMAGINE ourselves to appear to another person is an essential element in our conception of ourselves. In other words, I am not what I think I am, and I am not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am." --Robert Bierstedt
OP, R62 is right. I'm watching Sons of Anarchy, and there is no one uglier than Ron Pearlman at first glance, yet, after a while, he becomes less ugly. In other words, I'm SURE you are not as unattractive as you think you are, and what's more, you make yourself more unattractive by thinking the way you do.
On the other hand, I've met gorgeous people on the outside who become downright ugly after getting to know them.
Unless you're the Elephant Man (and even then) whores will take your money and fuck you. Almost all their clients are ugly, otherwise unfuckabke trolls. So, you're obviously doing something to piss them off (labelling them all as Meth addicts probably isn't a good start).
OP, go to your old vinyl albums, locate Sound of Music and play I Have Confidence. Several times.
Or watch it on youtube.
It really is all about attitude.
Ae you looking for sex or a relationship?
There are guys out there who have a fetish for men considered unattractive.
Do you have other variables: decaying teeth, a small penis, morbidly obese?
What kind of man are you attracted to?
It is possible to connect with another person, if you work on your self-percption.
Walk through a carnival, a busy city park.You'll all kinds of people. Yu'll see people alone, but most of them are paired.
Are you looking for sex or a relationship?
I told you stop posting on DL. That is my forum of choice.... get your own!! I need my space.
I really wish I could help, but I have no idea what to tell you.
OP, the question isn't why won't meth-addicted sex workers take your money but rather why would you want to have sex with a meth-addicted sex worker? Why would you sink to that level? You don't think you deserve anything better than that?
I think you're trolling anyway but if you're saying you're that physically repulsive - do something about it. If you're that physically repulsive then you're right - no one will ever be attracted to you. Everyone can lose weight, everyone can work on their physique, everyone can improve their hygiene, everyone can develop a personality. It doesn't sound like you're making any effort at all.
There used to be a guy who'd broadcast on cam4 whose eyes looked in two completely different directions like a frog. I'd watch his cam just to see what the people in the chat would say. And you know what? People still thought he was hot and wanted to Skype with him! No one ever gave him a hard time. So there truly is someone for everyone out there.
I guess what I don't understand OP is if you're the exception to every rule here, with your unspeakable level of unattractiveness, why are you asking us how to handle knowing that no one will ever be attracted to you? Apparently this is your sole domain, your predicament that you are completely committed to - so why should we know anything about it?
Not that anyone is asking but you would seem to be the expert on how to handle knowing that no one will ever be attracted to you and thus far your coping mechanism seems to be chasing meth whores. Not sure you've exhausted all other prospects and I do think it's likely that you're a total troll, in the internet sense of the word, of course. But instead of asking, tell, should anyone ask. You're the one authoring this experience, not us.
Look. I really do think we need to see a picture of you OP.
It just can't be that bad and you don't seem willing to describe why you think you are so horribly ugly.
I have a satisfying solo sex life implementing the latest in butt plug technology, silicone, expensive but soft, can use cheap Crisco as the lube. I just recently bought the xx-lg size and it slid in with ease, eventually I'll get the xxx-large size. I use the plugs everyday, while watching baseball actually. They are excellent prostate massagers and I shoot cum all over the place, in my mouth last week.
So why should I care that I don't have an actual romantic life? I'm getting my needs met anyway, it works for me.
Your own insecurity and self hate are repelling others. Love yourself and others will too.
OP, To show you how much a total stranger cares about your welfare, I'm willing to get dissed for admitting that I'm a straight female posting on DL once again. However I think my advice really applies in your situation.
You're coming across as very "needy." People run away from those that appear to need a great deal of psychological help. If you desire validation that you are sexually attractive to another man, which we all do to some extent, that may be seen as a "burden," a stranger will not be willing to fulfill or even to confront. Are you coming across as too desperate or too anxious in your quest for sexual partners?
Try going to hustlers and escorts with a mask over your head to hide your ugliness.. obviously explain beforehand or say it's a fetish.
My male friend killed himself recently at the age of 25, almost 26, because he could not get a girlfriend or sex. I also cannot get a partner but now I am 30. I've suffered hugely over it and felt suicidal over it too. But eventually I kind of got over it to SOME degree - what helps is focusing on other things - hobbies, work or other positive things you can do for yourself - while realising that the longing and desire will never go away.. but sort of having better coping strategies for it.. focus on other things and time does take some of the edge of it away.
R76, I'm very sorry to hear about your friend. Many girls reject men because they're "social nerds," meaning that they've never learned how to properly approach others for a date. They sometimes come across as selfish, perhaps due to their needs, which is a total turnoff. There are even expensive courses and silly books to teach men how to be a stud, rather then how to develop true friendships.
I have to say that I find guys hot whom many others would think, "Errrr ... no ... I'll pass, thanks."
I'm older and average-looking, and I know there are lots of guys who wouldn't consider getting to know me at all. However, once in a while a guy in a couple of online sites will tell me he finds me attractive.
You never know!
Masturbation is a wonderful thing.
Have you considered becoming a burka-wearing Muslim?
I've never had to deal with that, OP, but my best guess is that if I were convinced that no one I was attracted to would ever be attracted to me, I would ask myself two questions: 1) would I be interested in a relationship or romance or sex with someone I didn't find physically attractive, and 2) would people I don't find physically attractive be interested in a relationship or romance or sex with me. If the answer to either one of those questions would be no, then I would find other ways to find satisfaction in life besides romance and sex with another person. Hopefully healthy ones.
If the answer to both questions would be yes, or at least maybe, then perhaps I would try to find, or at least be open to finding a relationship and or romance and or sex with someone, realizing that it would most likely happen with someone whom I don't find physically attractive.
Can't you just date and/or hook up with other ugly ass motherfuckers?
R82, the cruel irony is that just because you're ugly doesn't mean you're always going to be attracted to other ugly people. OP seems to convey the impression that nobody is into him.
OP, you need a make-over. Put your best foot forward. And give up the idea of hooking up with 28&2hot2Bbelieved.
not that hard...just ask any woman over 33. Volunteer work, child rearing, yoga....many things to compensate.
Have you considered castration? I hear that'll make you not care about sex. Then you can occupy yourself with other things instead.
r86=angry lesbian whose uncle touched her who who
OP - There's something you're not dealing with. It's possible you're aware of the problem but not thinking it's a turnoff or as big of a deal as it is. Find people who know you in real life, beg the to tell you what the problem is. Let them know you need them to be truthful. If sex workers are turning you away, there's something off about you...and it seems you haven't done a very good job of finding out what that is because "Ugly" is not it.
I honestly think you are trolling,
and the hookers I know, don't turn people down,
and they have had some pretty sad looking people.
And the reason I think you are trolling is because, the only guys I know who lay with their arse in the air in the sauna are sluts and they dont have any trouble, any hole is a goal, I think is the saying.
I live in Australia, the dating pool here is so small, but in the USA there is so many more guys,
and more equality.
I prefer a guy, that is a little unkempt in appearance, with a little bit of a belly, doesn't care about hair removal, and is a bit of a man.
I don't want a runway model.
So there is someone for everyone I believe. I think I need to move to the USA to meet more guys though.
OP, my first observation is that your personality is grating, negative, stubborn, defensive, obsessive and self-centered. So there's that.
I'm still stuck on sending "hustlers" your photo. Hustlers is an archaic term anyway. Most people call them escorts or rentboys, unless your talking about street hustlers. But you wouldn't be sending a street hustler your photo, since they're mostly just homeless guys and addicts that sell their wares on street corners. You'd negotiate face-to-face.
I'm going to assume you don't have any actual deformities that you haven't mentioned. I'm also going to assume you aren't fat or terribly out of shape. "Ugly", as you use it, usually refers to the face.
If you're young (under 35), have a good body and no obvious diseases, sores or skin rashes, I find it hard to believe you're being universally rejected just for being "ugly". I see tons of young, fit, healthy but homely as shit guys hooking up and partnering with other men.
Those other men, though? They usually have flaws of their own. Maybe your standards are too high?
I learned to dapind on me.
OP is clearly trolling. His constant repetition of the meth hustlers bit makes that clear.
[quote] in the USA there is so many more guys, and more equality.
And much more competition. Much more guys with higher standards. And much more guys being extremely picky, to wait for 'the next one'.
I live in Fly Over, USA, and I'm one of those picky guys. For the record, I'm 50, and work in a high profile job, but am openly gay. I'm 6 ft, 169lbs with a 33 inch waist.
I have had a lot of difficulty finding guys that interest me. In my part of Fly Over, USA, too many men are...fat or obese.
Also, too many men here are alcoholics or are borderline alcoholics, or have some sort of drug problem. Because bars are the only place to socialize, many of these same men look 10 years older than they are because they drink and party so much. I hear the phrase "Dinner and Drinks!" fifty times a week.
Many men here are also dysfunctional. Years ago, I began to get therapy for dealing with life issues and have become more healthy. The result of this is that I can now spot dysfunction at a 100 yards and steer clear of it.
Most of the smart men have left Fly Over, and will never move here because of its location.
I'm simply looking for a non alcoholic, fairly functional, non meth addicted, slim conversationalist. I don't even mind if they smoke (I don't), are divorced with kids, etc. Perhaps my standards are too high.
I guess because I have such a stick up my ass about being "picky" I get laid about 5 or 6 times a year. Usually by guys I've known for a long time, but show little interest in a ltr, and don't live here.
Now, at 50, I get depressed that it's all over and I'm never going to have that special someone. I focus on my hobbies: music, electronics, art, cooking, and visiting festivals.
I often blame myself for all this and it's true I bear some responsibility. But anti-gay society in Fly Over also plays a role. Not everyone can live on the coasts. Perhaps when I can retire I'll move to one of them.
Gay and ugly? Impossible! You're mistaken Dearie. You must be a gay man trapped in a straight man's body because we simply don't produce such a thing. I suggest you find your equal.
If hustlers/rentboys can afford to turn people down for simply being hideous ( I doubt it) they must be in really high demand and make a ton of money.
Op, settle for equally ugly men. Problem solved.
OP and the uglies merely have to put on some drag!
Hideous drag queens get ALL the cock!
Gogo guys and barflies love a sassy drag queen.
OP, do u look like Benedick Cumberbauch? (ugh, sp?)
That guys has TONS of groupies. He has made a career it of being the "least" attractive man in the room. Life is filled with variety, it gets boring when everyone starts to blend into each others looks.
OP, if you are generally a Debbie downer, maybe that's why people don't want to hook up? If you're gonna be an asshole, then own it! Maybe you're a self-depreciating nice guy? Own it! As long as you know who you are, and are confident enough I not want to change, you should be able to find PLENTY of fuck buddies. Some of the most physically attractive people I know have absolutely horrible personalities, and that ruined their looks for me. I just don't think they're hot.
I have been a fool for years; all I need to do is take a picture of my penis and put it on the net and I'd have lots of guys after me.
OP, please describe your looks. Are we talking Clint Howard, or Elephant Man? I have noticed the most attractive thing to people is confidence. Confidence suggests you have something everyone else wants. If you ooze as much desperation and self loathing in person as you do here, you would be unattractive to most people no matter how good your face looked. Instead of seeking someone that isn't shallow, you put yourself in very degrading situations. Was there even a way for you to not feel ashamed?
He looks like a troll. r101
Obviously an EST...
seriously I want a photo :) I bet out of the 103 people who have posted on this thread there are some that like you. Put a photo on here or start a thread with a poll, asking who things your a bit of alright, you should see the kind of guys I go for, my friends don't understand it, but that's my taste.
"Oh my God. I'm back. I'm home. All the time, it was... We finally really did it ... You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!"
We are switching to the new platform for The DataLounge this weekend. All of our mobile users have been using it for over a week and all first time users have been using it for about a month - which adds up to well over one million users. So we're ready to end this phase of the testing and move everybody to the new site. (more)
And yes, we've changed the look and some of how it operates.
Yes, we know you just *hate* it in well in advance.
Yes, we know we suck.
Yes, we are the biggest suckers that ever sucked.
But it was time for a change and with the huge shift to mobile it was long overdue. We've taken this opportunity not only to update the look but also make major changes under the hood (or "bonnet" if you're either British or pretentious or both). And we have to prepare for 2016 - a presidential election year where we can normally expect to see a 60% jump in traffic (yes, we've seen 5 presidential elections so far…Christ we're old).
The site has a bunch - nay, plethora - of new features which will make the site more usable: better search, the ability to ignore posters and threads, see link previews, to pick up a thread where you left off, spam and malware filtering and more.
If you want you can go explore and see for yourself, Click here.
And while running the tests we've noticed two interesting reactions to the new system - people are spending more time on the site and more people that come stay around longer and look at more stuff. Both good things. Yay!
The old site will remain around while things settle down but will go away fairly soon as we consolidate everything to the one "official" site.
Possibly we've not slain all the dragons and there will be issues that come up during the switchover. There's a help button in the lower right hand corner of the page which you can use to send us bug reports.
Please include as much information about the hardware (PC, Mac, Tablet, Phone etc), operating system (Windows, Mac OS, Android, iOS etc) and browser (Chrome, Safari, Opera, Internet Explorer etc) that you are using as possible to help us replicate and fix the problem.
Please note that complaints about colors, fonts, icons and the like are not "bugs" - they are design choices that we've made and we expect one or two cases of world-class bitching. But they won't actually cause headaches, scurvy, heart attacks, Restless Leg Syndrome, Morgellon's Disease or the vapors (but have your smelling salts at hand just in case).
Talking to DataLounge servers. Please wait a moment...