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Gay Marriage "Very Disturbing" - What would YOU say?

I received the following email forward from a friend - a female "of a certain age" who is a fellow blue among reds. She would like some help in formulating a *nice* response, as this is a small community in which she lives full-time, and I only reside part-time. [quote]"We want to apply for a marriage license." "Names?" "Tim and Jim Jones." "Are you related? I see a resemblance." "We're brothers." "Brothers? You can't get married!" "Why? Aren't you giving marriage licenses to same gender couples?" "Yes, tens of thousands. But not siblings. That's incest, for God's sake!" "'Incest?' We are not gay." "Then why do you want to get married?" "Financial benefits. And we do care for each other. Besides, we don't have any other prospects." "We're issuing marriage licenses to homosexual couples who've been denied equal protection under the law. You are not gay, you can get married to a woman." "Wait a minute. A gay man has the same right to marry a woman as I have. But just because I'm straight doesn't mean I want to marry a woman. I want to marry Jim." "And I want to marry Tim, you are discriminating against us just because we are not gay!" "All right, all right. I'll give you your license. Next." "Hi. We are here to get married." "Names?" "John Smith, Jane James, Robert Green, and June Johnson." "Who wants to marry whom?" "We all want to marry each other." "But there are four of you!" "That's right. You see, we're bisexual. I love Jane and Robert, Jane loves me and June, June loves Robert and Jane, and Robert loves June and me. All of us getting married together is the only way that we can express our sexual preferences in a marital relationship." "But we've only been granting licenses to gay and lesbian couples." "So you're discriminating against bisexuals!" "No, it's just that, well, the 'traditional' method of marriage is that it's just for couples -- been that way since the beginning of people.'" "Since when are you standing on tradition?" "Well, for the love of God, you have to draw the line somewhere." "Who says? There's no logical reason to limit marriage to couples. The more the better. Besides, we demand our rights! The mayor says the constitution guarantees equal protection under the law. Give us a marriage license!" "All right, all right. Next." "Hello, I'd like a marriage license." "In what names?" "David Deets." "And the other man?" "That's all. I want to marry myself." "Marry yourself? What do you mean?" "Well, my psychiatrist says I have a dual personality, so I want to marry the two together. Maybe I can file a joint income-tax return." "That does it!? I quit! You people are making a mockery of the sacred bonding of marriage!"


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