Setting the record Straight (ask a straight guy anything)
I am visiting my brother (he pays to post) and we have been talking about all the threads regarding straight guys that come on here.
Over time he has quoted a few via e mail.
Needless to say they are not always 100% accurate.
I have today only (headed back home tomorrow) and I thought I would try to set the record straight.
Assuming you can be civil ask me anything.
Let me tell you about myself. I am 38 years old, I got married 10 years ago, no kids.
I went to college at LSU (fun school) and traveled a lot in my younger years. I've seen many things and don't get shocked easily.
I am willing to be candid, so talk to me.
Let me see if I can set the record straight.
Why do you like pussy?
Wow! Most of us have never had a chance to talk to a genuine straight guy before.
What an opportunity!
So what you're saying OP, in essence...is that straight guys are all 100 percent exactly alike. WRONG. You can't 'set the record straight' for all straight guys, any more than any gay man here could speak for all gay people.
However, I will ask you these...
Why are straight guys so narcissistic that they think they can speak for everyone else?
Why must straight guys try to take over every space they inhabit, even when it's a space clearly specified for gay people?
Why do you like cock?
Seriously we are born this way as well.
R2 I am sure you have, yet misconceptions exist anyway.
[quote]Assuming you can be civil ask me anything.
Has any fantasy ever included you having any type of sex with another guy? Details..
And, have you ever even as a young guy experimented with another male? Details..
Thank You, Straight Boy
Did you ever play with another guy?
Is it true that there is no straight guy ever who would even consider having his cock sucked by another guy? Even through a glory hole?
How hot is your sister?
Set the record straight on what exactly? Is this post for real?
Do you people dress that way deliberately?
Are those fashion choices actually methods of communicating your heterosexual interests to other heterosexuals?
Straight Guy OP, please sign any replies "OP" by typing same in the "Author" box below the reply box. Saves a lot of confusion.
I will answer R9,10.
With another guy or at the same time as another guy?
I think they are slightly different.
In the same room...yes, when I was a teenage my friend had great porn from his older brother and when the family was away we would watch and jerk off. We only touched ourselves. So in that sense yes.
Fantasy...I have had a few dreams with mild homoerotic moments.
This is the stupidest fucking thing I have ever seen.
This would be the equivalent of me going onto a fucking tampon support group and asking what toxic shock felt like.
Ten years and no kids. What is that about? Or, are you just roommates?
I can't answer for the entire population.
However, I did know a guy at LSU who is married with his 3 now who used to routinely get drunk and go to some porn both and stick it through the hole.
He didn't much care who sucked it.
Theoretically I can see how this could work for some men.
However I doubt it is predominant behavior.
Consider it, yes I considered it in college, it seemed so easy. I didn't do it, but I considered it.
I am not a great dresser unless my wife picks out my clothes. I put comfort first, no other reason.
We decided before we got married to live as green as possible and not to have kids.
We both feel the earth is overpopulated and we cannot properly take care of the kids who are already on it so it would not be responsible to re-produce.
Birth control, is our operative word, not roomates at all.
If we ever get the baby urge we would adopt a needy child or foster one.
Why are straight me so stupid?
But OP/R20, wouldn't you find it more comfortable to wear undergarments that lift and separate?
And what's with multiple plaids?
R22 R23 I am not completely sure what you are talking about?
OP - that refers to a thread started here called "Why Are Straight Me So Stupid".
Another type that has become part of the Datalounge experience.
R25 Thank you.
Some threads have been shared over the years, but I never heard about that one that I can recall.
Have some kids of your own already.
R25 / R26: the OP of the the "Why Are Straight Me So Stupid?" thread.
And she STILL can't type.
Do straight men shave their pubes or do a lot of pubic grooming?
R30, perhaps some of the male DL posters who claim to have frequent sex with straight men could field that question.
How is it straight men cannot understand getting fucked when almost every straight guy I have ever met has said agreed that there is nothing better than taking a big dump?
Finally a laugh.
I have not examined the crotch of every man alive but I can tell you my experience.
In the National Guard one guy did it before his leave and we teased him mercilessly. That was close to 20 years ago and we thought it a very gay thing to do. To this day I wonder if he was gay.
In college a few guys said they did before spring break and we also called them gay. To me and my circle of friends it has always been seen as a super gay thing to do.
I live in Portland now and play softball and hit the gym often. On those rare occasions I see it (Portland it into natural) I just assume it is a gay guy. I may be wrong, but to me it seems a very gay or porn actor thing to do.
I have 70's style bush and am proud of it.
R33 gross, but I will go ahead.
You feel full and you take a dump and it is great.
We don't want to feel full again with something else up there.
R33, I wonder about the straight men whom you have met. Was your father straight? Did he concur with all of the others? They all SAID this? And are you under the impression that the two sensations are the same?
Be back in a few hours and if there are more will answer them, otherwise have a great day guys.
Fuck these straight guys taking over our site. Death to them.
Please- I have many straigh male friends. I don't need to ask questions on DL (an amusing but very silly and nasty site) to learn about "straight men" from one particular guy.
I thought we'd covered this, R38; if you can fuck 'em, they're not straight. Oh, the irony!
This whole thread is dumb, and actually rather offensive. It reads like some straight male deity has decided to grace us lesser gay men with his presence and wisdom. Are we supposed to lavish you with attention because you are a 'benevolent' straight man, OP? Thank you, massa - we really needed you here to bring us meaning.
Is this still a gay site? We all may need to find a new safe place to be if these straight men keep on attention whoring here.
Why R38, do they ruin the fantasy that you like to indulge in of them wanting and/or fucking you?
Stop projecting, R43. I just don't want them here. We have a gay space for a reason - we deal with them enough at work and in our daily lives.
Oh please R44, you're only fooling yourself.
Give it up, R45. Your investment in your own projection is annoying.
Newsflash: Many gay men fear and avoid straight men. Are you even gay? Every gay man who has seen a violent straight man knows this.
R45 doth protest too much.
What exactly am I protesting, R47/46? Do tell!
I'm not R46, hon. You are such a moron that it is hardly worth addressing you.
Yet you do so in the very same post you say I'm not worth responding to.
YOU are the moron.
Ooh, touche, R50. Do you know the meaning of the word 'hardly'? Look it up, and then re-evaluate your comment.
Look, if you worship straight men so much, that's fine. Do not, however, expect us to lavish the attention on them that you do.
[quote]Newsflash: Many gay men fear and avoid straight men.
The straight man worship around here has actually, been obnoxious. No one can deny its been a recurring theme, and a delusional, annoying one.
Why would I want to ask a straight guy something? I've been forced to listen to straight guys speak their mind every second of every day since I was born.
I do know what it means. For someone "hardly" worth responding to, you continue to do so, making yourself out to be a fool.
You are too stupid to comprehend this.
Can someone please teach R55 what "hardly" means?
No, you don't, R55. Behold:
1. Barely; just.
2. To almost no degree; almost not: I could hardly hear the speaker.
3. Probably or almost surely not: "Easily was a man made an infidel, but hardly might he be converted to another faith" (T.E. Lawrence).
4. With severity; harshly.
5. With great difficulty; painfully.
You really are a complete moron. If it is so "difficult" & "painful" to discuss this with me, as your use of the word hardly would indicate, the. You would be a moron to not only continue, but use the old cookie trick. The fact that you keep on and on ad nauseum shows you to be a very stupid person.
Again, I know you are not intellectually capable of grasping this.
I'm embarrassed for you, R58. Stop the paranoia (cookies?), and realize that 'hardly' typically means 'barely'. Thus, I can barely speak to you, due to your profound idiocy.
Then, not the.
Stop it! Stop it! You're BOTH pretty!
My fucking lord you girls need to put down back issues of Redbook and get out more. Scared of straight men? Straight man worship? Forced to listen to straight men?
Here is a shocking little fact that is going to rock your world. Are you ready? Are you sitting down? Here goes: STRAIGHT MEN SIMPLY DON'T THINK ABOUT GAY MEN AND THE VAST MAJORITY COULDN'T GIVE A FUCK LESS THAT WE ARE GAY.
You need to go cockslap your parents for not giving you the confidence to go through life without being a victim. If that doesn't work, examine your friends/relationships. This is 2013 and, outside of the religious loons, being gay just isn't an issue. We are never going to make them happy, if it isn't gay people its going to be people with green eyes or whatever fucked up platform they can get the sheep to follow.
If you don't believe what I say then stand proud, be your own person, succeed. Nothing would fuck a perceived enemy off more than being you being happy, successful and completely ignoring them.
That's not the issue, R62. We just don't want them in our space. We are standing proud, and being our own people. Let the straight men go attention whore elsewhere.
Be embarrassed R59, while you continue to play the fool for all of DL to see. Good thing for you this site is anonymous.
But only I know the correct meaning of the word 'hardly', R61. Thank you for saying I'm pretty, though.
You're really losing it, R64! It's kind of fun to watch. Continue.
yes buttsechs is like pooping over and over again - especially if they have a good sized wang. It is pure exstacy.
In fact yes the first time I heard it was my dad saying "there is nothing like taking a good shit!" The anal opening contains many pleasure receptors not to mention the prostate - which if you have never had a good prostate massage I feel bad for you..you know no pleasure in life my son.
R65, R64 is coming off as a pompous ass, but you're coming off idiotic. Newsflash! This isn't all about you two.
STRAIGHT MAN ON THE LAND!
STRAIGHT MAN ON THE LAND!
STRAIGHT MAN ON THE LAND!
STRAIGHT MAN ON THE LAND!
STRAIGHT MAN ON THE LAND!
STRAIGHT MAN ON THE LAND!
The port-o-janes are begging for your tender touch
Get over yourself, R68. This was a shit thread, and now it is dying as it should. That's what flame wars are for, you know.
Sure, R65/66, sure.
[quote]Another type that has become part of the Datalounge experience.
R63, straight men want to interact with you and that is invading your space? Are you a fan of concentration camps and segregation?
I don't want to interact with them in a gay space, R73. So yes, they are invading my space. Gay bars and gay clubs are founded on the same principle. It's sad that I, as a Millennial, have never experienced gay bars and gay clubs when they weren't overrun with straight couples using as their playthings ('look at the gays in their habitat!').
Okay straight man, why are so many of you stupidly Republican?
Why do so many of he straight married guys I know want me to fuck them in the ass?
The OP is not allowed to use the account of another. This is against the rules. Your brother needs to be booted from this site.
Would you ever fuck Cheryl?
Why do straight men always ask us stupid questions about why we like to be with other men? Why do you always ask us why we don't like boobs, and then express amazement that we don't find them irresistible?
[quote]The OP is not allowed to use the account of another. This is against the rules. Your brother needs to be booted from this site.
What part of "straight man" do you not get?
Oh, thank you, OP, for finally giving voice to the voiceless: heterosexual men. Even though you've ruled every empire in the history of MANkind and we're surrounded by you in all areas of our lives, thank you for giving us this opportunity to indulge your particular attention-seeking.
R74, of you are a millennial I am fucking Mother Teresa.
Shouldn't you be dead then? It's a miracle that you're posting from beyond the grave.
Yes, Millennials have been posting here for a while, despite the sporadic attacks from eld*rgays. We grew up during the Dubya years, so we know what straight men are capable of.
What's up with the macho affectation?
While growing up, were there any external factors that contributed to you being straight?
But how can you think pussy is sexy, OP? Have you ever tried being with a man before, just to see how natural it feels? Dick-in-vag goes against the Spaghetti Monster's credo; I hate the sin, though, and not the sinner.
How do you think dick is sexy, R85? "How" is the most irrelevant question in the world when it comes to sexual attraction.
I think the great straight man/gay man divide is a generational thing.
Nowadays, with young guys, it is harder and harder to tell who is straight and who is gay. Younger gay guys are trending more virile/masculine, and young straight guys are more . . . pretty and "metrosexual."
My God, this is why (they) hate (you.) Bad enough if a freeper fundie frau "said" she was "asking questions." But y'all have to hate-on a man?? Straight man, yes, but A MAN.
Is a puzzlement.
R87, exactly why R74 is full of shit.
Do straight men really want to be just friends with female friends that they call up for coffee, picnic excursions, discussing the work of Philip Roth etc.?
Dear lord, Philip Roth?
[quote]It's sad that I, as a Millennial, have never experienced gay bars and gay clubs when they weren't overrun with straight couples using as their playthings ('look at the gays in their habitat!').
That's because you go to trendy dance clubs in your skinny jeans.
I love seeing straight guys in gay bars, desperately grasping onto the hand of their wife/girlfriend. And it's always the unfuckable ones who do this too.
Please, R89. Saying something doesn't make it so. If you're too ancient to understand that, though, it's probably best if you say nothing.
What is R88 on about?
R75 I am not a Republican and don't know many. I can't tell you.
R76 those men are not straight.
Sorry I caused such a ruckus.
Look, my brother and I were talking about some of the very amusing things you guys write.
He asked me to come on and answer legit question.
There were a few and I did. I don't plan on spending the rest of my life here, I thought a little communication might be a good thing.
I don't hate you, most men won't hate you. Quite frankly we all love our dicks and don't worry too much about what you do with yours.
However some of you clearly have some issues that I cannot begin to address.
"However some of you clearly have some issues that I cannot begin to address."
Judge us when you've walked a mile in our platforms. Bye.
Thank you R62 and R87.
OP "Straight Guy," Here's my question:
When you encounter gay men being such bitchy, hostile, hetero-phobic little pussies (like 90% of the posts here), do you realize that most gay men are still normal "guy-ish acting" men who are capable of having conversations and interacting appropriately and with humor, tact and sense?
As a gay man I read some of the posters on here and I just cringe. Why after all the hard-won social acceptance and political progress do so many gay guys still behave like a riled up nest of sex-crazed, venomous silly little queen bees? Gosh guys, grow a pair, quit taking it up the ass, use your heads and acting like you need some sort of Fire Island secret clubhouse to have a conversation.
It's 2013, we don't to live in a bizarre femmy little subculture. Look at these posts and ask yourself-is this really how we want to represent ourselves to a straight man. I'm a gay man and I'm disgusted by most of you!
It's time to take our equal place at the adults table. Let's try to learn from the example of the GayBros or the G0ys. We don't have to be the awful "E-word" stereotype.
I am just waiting for the fat buddha man to come on and tell you that you are wrong and all straight men shave their bits.
If you think the fur has already flown just wait for the pubic hair debate.
Oh...and if you are intact you gotta say why circ is wrong.
Why do you feel the need to make excuses for us, R99?
"most gay men are still normal", "Let's try to learn from the example of the GayBros or the G0ys."
This is part of the problem.
R97 I just hope you and your brother don't come away from this thinking all, or most, gay men are represented by the people here. Most of the posters on this thread happen to fit the worst stereotype-one that most of us have worked so hard to overcome.
People like them are ashamed to be gay and it has made them all messed up inside. They feel like the only way to peace of mind is to adopt an exaggerated female persona. They are a troubled minority. They don't represent me.
This was a good idea for a thread. Unfortunately too many people are only interested in straight men who oppress us. Uncovering the truth, that most straight people consider us their friends, colleagues, sons, fathers and brothers ruffles their feather boas!
Ok, I will go there.
1. What is the underwear of choice for straight guys?
2. Circumcision - what is the straight-guy opinion on being cut or uncut. Is there a lot of discussion among straight guys?
I know my fair share of LSU boys: racist homophobes.
So OP, why do you think it's acceptable to be racist and/or homophobic?
Defending a straight man against gays is also a clear cut sign of feeling ashamed of being gay, R102
R99 I would never judge a whole population on the basis of my limited interaction on this board.
My brother participates on this board and he gets a laugh out of it and shares some things but none of this surprises me.
Though I did expect that some of the questions raised in other conversations might be thrown my way. I am not in crisis...
My last night in Chicago so we are going to go out.
I wish everyone the best possible life you can achieve and apologies to those who were offended. I wanted to build bridges, not launch an assault.
Nope. Wrong R105 I'm trying to defend gay men from the embarrassing sniping that stereotypical little minds are indulging in here. Read my post, I'm R99 and for once TRY to have an open mind.
I can be gay without presenting myself to the world as a twisted gender-confused bitch.
Please leave, OP.
R103...I was just getting ready to leave but I will take that on.
Circumcision...again I am in Portland and those with sons do not do it, even some of the Jewish ones.
When we were younger we discussed it a lot when we saw a guy intact. We were all curious about what it would be to have an anteater dick.
I am no fan of cutting it, even though it was done to me.
Underwear...I don't know...I mean all kinds. I wear boxer briefs, but my wife buys them.
You rarely hear straight homophobes use phrases as bigoted as "twisted gender-confused bitch."
Enjoy as many brews with your straight buds as you want, R107. They're never gonna let you suck their dick.
I totally agree with R102. The posters on this thread represent the worst clichés of gay men. Most gay men, like myself, are the total opposite of this sad stereotype.
Also, if you want a mind blowing blow job, give me a call.
I seriously wish DL had an "Ask a (Stereotypical) Gay Guy Anything." I'm gay, but not the right type of gay-according to DL standards. There's so much I don't understand about most of you. I wish there were a safe place to ask.
I do appreciate the OP's willingness to do this. DL sure was on it's worst behavior, though. I'm almost embarrassed to be gay tonight.
Maybe we should have an "Ask a Non-Stereotypical Gay Guy Anything?" If I bought a membership maybe I'd o it. It is so hard being a double minority, you stereotypical gay guys have it so easy.
I'm completely confused. Is this a gay man pretending to be a straight man arguing with straight women pretending to be gay men? Or is it a straight woman pretending to be a gay man pretending to be a straight man arguing with straight women pretending to be gay men?
You ladies are going to role play yourselves right into a bottomless pit someday. Might make a good Lifetime movie, though.
"DL sure was on it's worst behavior, though. I'm almost embarrassed to be gay tonight."
Something tells me you're embarrassed to be gay most nights.
You better cool it with the Lifetime movie references, R113. You might set off the Non-Stereotypical Gay Guy Troll.
R112, you know you cannot ask because if you question anything gay you are a self loathing homophobe. DL queens are way too bitter for their own good
R114 You couldn't be more wrong. Maybe I haven't been exposed to enough of the nasty stereotypical gays. Perhaps that saved me from acting like them. You people are just gross.
I don't mean you're wrong R116. I didn't know when my post would show up. I am glad there were others who were uncomfortable by the offensive posts that only seek to attack and embarrass anyone who doesn't fit the stereotype. There are some cool people on here.
Are you kidding, R117? You're the bitchiest DL personality we've had in a while, Non-Stereotypical Gay Guy Troll. Your earrings and caftans may have sports logos on them, but they're still earrings and caftans.
R117 R112 R107 R102 R99, you spend an awful lot of time on this site, considering how filled it is with people you loathe.
[quote]Why must straight guys try to take over every space they inhabit...?
More specifically, this refers to straight white guys (and many gay white guys as well). They think they own the world, therefore they act as if they do.
He's just trolling at this point, R120, when isn't dialing his phone with a pencil and hissing at men in a parking lot outside the YMCA.
[quote]hissing at men in a parking lot outside the YMCA.
R122, I can't stop laughing.
Oh, pleassssssse! Won't SSSSSOMEBODY pleasssssssse think of the ssssstraight men!
How many beers does it take for our "straighty" to get down with other guys? Two? Four? Six?
Trolldar R9 below for more "masculine" wit and wisdom:
Thread is gone, R126. Was that the 'girly guys in pron' thread?
I think OP sounds like a nice guy. Thanks for coming on, OP.
Tell me why so many guys that tell me they are straight, end up on their bellies, spreading their ass cheeks, begging me to fuck them?
Is the DL teeming with straight men, R120? That's who R99 is clearly against.
R121 angry because her WIC card has $0 balance. Always angry at the white man, you racist cunt
Did anyone catch the purse that fell out of R99's mouth? It's around here somewhere.
Yes, R127. Practically every thread he pollutes gets deleted.
[quote]Tell me why so many guys that tell me they are straight, end up on their bellies, spreading their ass cheeks, begging me to fuck them?
Because that's the only way you will. They know they have to pretend to be straight to get your attention.
The sad thing about Non-Stereotypically Gay Guy Troll is that he represents a rising sentiment within the gay community that's incredibly toxic. They defend straight men and villify those they should be defending (i.e. bullied gay youths), making them feel alienated from the one place they should find solace. It's one thing to not find them attractive, but to tell feminine gay men that they're not even worthwhile within the gay community because they don't fit a heteronormative standard is absolutely reprehensible.
What is it exactly that makes you so afraid of people who aren't like you?
BTW if you think what stands between LGBT and full acceptance and equal rights are, to use your words, gay men being such bitchy, hostile, hetero-phobic little pussies - you haven't been following politics or history.
R135 R136 You are joking right?
Why do straight guys always have skid marks???
OP, I hope you check back. I think you are genuine, and charming (in as much as a straight dude can be). But I know your "Bro" will check back.
Have been on this site since it started and can remember only one or two threads started by a straight guy. You threw gas on a beehive and the results are wildly entertaining.
I'm going to speak for all gay guys because I can...
Here's what we want to hear you say:
Q: Do you ever shave down there?
A: Yes. And most of my dude friends all shave together. We like to feel each others' smooth ball sacs and hairless cracks as we rub each other with baby oil, look in the mirror at our throbbing cocks, and finger our holes.
Q: Aren't all you LSU frat boys just a 6-pack away from gay sex?
A: No. After a steamy day of alligator hunting down on the Bayou, all it takes is one Pina Colada before I start to crave the sensation of a hot, hairy man's engorged penis filling my manhole, making me feel loved and special. I gaze into his commanding eyes as he pounds my prostate into endless, ejaculating ecstasy.
Q: When you go down on your girlfriend's pussy, what do you think about?
A: I think of Cheryl, Chicken Of The Sea, and how much I'd rather be mouth fucked by all of the black players in LSU basketball.
I really hate arrogant, idiotic straight men.
[quote]However some of you clearly have some issues that I cannot begin to address.
And this is why you're an asshole.
You breeze in here and announce yourself, expecting us to be instantly fascinated by such a rare specimen. "A heterosexual male deigning to grace us with his pleasure! Oh! Gather 'round, all! Let us share in this great opportunity!"
Then, when the marginalized group you're addressing calls you out on your white male privilege BULLSHIT you have the nerve to malign us as having "some issues".
GEE, DO YA THINK, ASSHOLE?
As someone upthread said, walk a mile in our platforms. Now get lost, troll.
OMG this thread is B O R I N G
R141 still hasn't got over the umpteenth straight guy that sneered at his queeny stares
yeah I skipped from page 1 to 8 and even that was exhausting... I think OP had good intentions wanting to allow us a glimpse into the secret thoughts of one straight guy. but of course the meows on here got there pantys in a bunch. really DL, there are less shallow things to raise a fuss about. there are starving babies in Africa with flies on them and shit. there are orphan dogs who have to listen to that Sara McLachlin song over and over again. and you want to complain about this of all things?
"...got there pantys in a bunch."
Sad. This is how straight men demean the human race.
it's slang... how about the term "pointless bitchery"? the term "bitchery" should be equally offensive to you then. you should boycott DL!
Glad the record was set straight regarding pubes.
How big is your dick? Cut or uncut? Pic?
I have a question which gay men might be as capable of answering as OP would be -- he mentioned that his wife buys his underwear. What's with wives buying underwear? Or ANY spouses buying underwear? I can't imagine a woman wanting a man to buy hers -- at least not the stuff she wears outside of the bedroom. And I can't imagine a man asking his male partner to buy his underwear -- MAYBE he'd ask him to pick some up under unusual circumstances, but the type would never be left up to the partner. So what gives?
I thought that was weird too, R149. Straight men are such infants. Buy your own fucking underwear.
Come to think of it, maybe their wives buy them new underwear all the time because they're sick of seeing the skid marks all straight men supposedly have---as someone upthread already suggested.
[quote]That's not the issue, [R62]. We just don't want them in our space. We are standing proud, and being our own people. Let the straight men go attention whore elsewhere.
If a straight man said that about gays you'd have a fit.
They say it all the time R 151. You really have no clue what straight people are all about. You can't spend half an hour with one without seeing attempts to proclaim and enforce straight privilege.
That's funny, R152.
How do you know I'm not straight?
You don't know a thing.
Gee R131, I wonder why he wouldn't want to cozy up to the likes of you?
Well, this thread certainly brought out the worst in DL, didn't it?
DL, your own little cyber insane asylum.
Sorry but why would we need to ask you anything? Is being straight some big mystery other than being attracted to the opposite sex?