can't sleep tonight, but that's nothing out of the ordinary for me, happens two or three times a month. I'd been sitting out on the back deck reading on my iPad. There was a bit of a breeze as there is just about every night here. All of a sudden the breeze picked up, turned into wind and seemed to come from every direction. I stood up to look around, my back yard has solar lamps so I could see almost the whole yard and to me, looking at the trees, bushes, flowers and garden it looked like the wind was coming from every direction everything was being blown around in different directions. There was a strange thought that came into my head completely out of nowhere. It was 'If he finds you here he will kill you' almost the same second that thought popped into my head I felt the biggest amount of fear I have ever felt in my entire life. I was actually terrified. I turned to go in the house and there was another thought out of nowhere 'He won't kill you right away and there are things worse than death that he will show you'. I went into the house and double checked that all the windows were closed and locked, I double checked that all the doors were locked and the deadbolts shot too, I even climbed up on my car to pull the cord out of the outlet for the garage door opener (pretty much in the dark, too afraid to turn on the garage light I used the light that spilled out from the open door from the laundry room) I remembered I had cut dowel rods for the downstairs windows a couple years back and found those and stuck them in all the downstairs windows and the door to the deck. I went upstairs and was still terrified. I was so scared that I couldn't even decide if I was safer with the lights on or off. I decided to leave things the way they normally are, and just sat waiting.
It took almost an hour and a half for the fear to go away, and it was a very long hour and a half. Now I'm trying to figure out just what the hell happened that I was so terrified. At the time it happened I absolutely KNEW that if he (whoever 'he' is) found me I would end up dead. I'm not prone to getting spooked, rarely get scared and have never been scared for no reason. I haven't watched anything like scary movies or a serial killer documentary, haven't read a scary book in years, and I know I was absolutely awake when it happened. I also have no f'in idea who 'he' is, or how anyone would have known I was sitting on my deck behind 8ft high fences pretty much in the dark.
I had a couple of panic attacks when I was in college years ago and my first thought once i was calmed was that this was one but perhaps a differant type as this felt nothing like they did. Looked up panic attacks, just to be sure, but this didn't feel anything like what was described.
Any ideas about what just happened?
hmmm I'm first, but I have nothing snarky. Sorry. I think what you described sounds like a hallucination. In any event, look at it logically: if whatever did all of that planned to kill you, he/it could do it easily. So, just ride with it, nothing you could do anyway.
Thanks. I'm trying to look at this logically. None of this makes sence. I went back out on the deck to see if I could figure out what happened, nothing, just my yard and me standing there feeling like a fool.
Doesn't sound like a hallucination, unless the OP took acid instead of Tylenol PM or has a brain tumor.
When I had panic attacks when I was young, when they hit I'd have an overwhelming conviction that if I went to sleep, I'd stop breathing and die. Of course I went to sleep almost every night, and never actually died.
So yes, I'd say that panic attacks can bring on what I'm going to call "emotional hallucinations". If an auditory hallucination is hearing voices, and a visual hallucination is seeing what isn't there, then why don't we call that kind of baseless feeling an emotional hallucination.
No idea what happened to you but reading about it scared me. I'd probably pee my pants and be too afraid to move if that happened to me.
Did you shriek and topple over when the gust of wind blew your caftan over your head?
Interesting, OP. I think it was a self induced panic attack triggered by that weird wind storm. I've had something similar happen to me on occasion when I've tasted something weird in packaged food. I work myself up to a panic by thinking that someone poisoned it via food tampering. I can feel myself getting sick, lightheaded, sweaty, heart palpitations....and these physical symptoms have the spiraling effect of making me even more sure (and panicked) that I've been poisoned. I just sit there waiting to drop dead. It takes a while to come down.
I think the ominous weather was the trigger that put you on edge and caused you to invent a story in your mind to explain it. Then you spiraled into a full on panic attack.
Oh, and don't sit around in the dark. Turn the lights and TV on.
If I had to guess I'd say you were over tired and the wind coming from everywhere freaked you out, maybe even on a subliminal level, and your mind sent you a warning signal that somehow turned into "run or die", but it got you out of what your mind saw as a threatening situation.
This is the exact reason I only date alpha male exclusive tops.
OP, you may or may not recognize my authenticated name.
Suffice it to say, here's what I think:
This was a warning for someone else. It's a traumatic memory, words that someone turned over in her head time and time again. You felt someone ELSE's fear.
That person died there, where you are.
However, you are safe. You have nothing to worry about.
Emotional energy . . . think of it like stuff that washes up on the shore. It flows on the wind and is carried in the air, in sunlight, in rain . . . and rests on objects and places until it sinks in or is disrupted again.
The wind brought this to you - let the wind carry it away.
Light a candle, any candle, and speak this out loud:
I am safe. I am secure. You are gone. You are remembered. You are at peace. We are at peace.
Then blow out the candle with force and watch the smoke until it is gone.
I'm sorry this happened to you, for what it's worth.
[quote] The wind brought this to you - let the wind carry it away
Psych 101 I know who you are, you gave me amazing help/advice in the last thread you started (I had two people close to me die very close together and couldn't grieve among other problems) What you wrote helped me a lot. Thank you so much for that.
Are you saying that what I thought and felt was what someone who died in my house thought and felt before they died? If that's true it's absolutely awful that someone went tru that. I don't know the history of the house, I inherited it from my late boyfriend who inherited it from down a long line of relatives.
Also, are you saying my house is haunted!
R8 that does make some sense as does what R7 and R4 wrote. I got spooked on a subliminal level and my brain did what ever it took to get me away from the perceived threat including a panic attack. That could be it.
R3 no hallucinogens, Tylenol PM or brain tumor. Though the Tylenol PM sounds like a good idea.
I definitely believe it was the thought of someone who died on the property - but I don't believe it was IN the house. I feel like it's old, old - from before the house was built. I get the feeling it was a servant girl or slave of some sort.
This is odd, but if there has been construction or flooding or mining or drilling for gas nearby, sometimes these emotions can be stirred up again.
Please do the candle thing. I know it's a bit silly, but it will help.
that is so sad that someone felt that way, so scared. Do I have to worry about it happening again? Is my home haunted? Or is this just a left over emotion connected to my house?
I live in Zephyr Cove on Lake Tahoe and since tourist season started at the beginning of May there hasn't been any construction because the majority of the homes near mine rent out for the summer. Also no mining or drilling and the lake is low since we didn't get a lot of snow the last two winters.
OP, have you been drinking well water near where they are currently fracking?
Very weird weather today, lukewarm, wet, and disgustingly humid, in a season when it should be warm and dry. It feels like the climate is giving out on us.
Maybe that has something to do with feeling so strange.
100 miles away from Zephyr Cove
You in DANger, Gurrl!
Drink your juice, Shelby.
You fell asleep, not for long but enough to start a nightmare and startled awake with the panic attack. People fall asleep all the time and never know it, in class, while driving.
R11, you should have said,
And the wind cries Mary!
Sounds like a psychic flash to me.
Op you could have been in danger, but you listened to your "inner voice" and thus avoided any danger.
Always listen to your feelings and follow them.
First - who the fuck knows, OP? It could be anything or nothing, except it was terrifying.
There is something seriously unsettling in your story. I wouldn't discount the psychic's interpretation and you should follow her suggestion with the candle. Just reading your original post gave me chills and I still have them.
A real feeling of fear washed over me, and echoing R21 - trust your intuition. If something is making the hair stand up on the back of your neck - respect that.
I think you did well. You remembered the fucking dowels? I doubt I could have done half so well.
LOL @ R20
This site sure does become filled with damaged middle aged women in the late hours.
r8 nailed it.
One night when I lived in NYC on a really hot night I fell asleep on my couch, totally exhausted. The apartment was hot. AC was working overtime and barely cooling it off. All I was wearing was briefs. I wasn't planning on sleeping on the couch so all the lights were still on and my door was unlocked. It was a high rise doorman building with only 2 other apartments on the floor and I rarely locked the door until I was closing down for the night (turning lights off, taking trash to chute, etc).
So I am in this heavy sleep when I all of a sudden wake up (but still totally exhausted and totally out of it) with this feeling that someone was watching me and look at the dead bolt of the door and see that it's in the unlock position and I had a total panic attack that someone was going to come in. I felt totally vulnerable because I was only wearing underwear. I was certain, at that moment, that my apartment was a public place (like a dorm) and that other people must have been coming and going and seen me lying there in public, practically nude. I had tremendous fear and a total inability to shake it.... until I finally went over to the door and locked it. Then I was like "DUH" what the hell is wrong with me. But it really was scary for a bit. I think it was the exhaustion and heat.
I always feel like somebody's watching me!
Massive fail, r26.
Living in a haunted house isn't a big deal. I kinda like knowing my "haint" is around sometimes.
We know what we know but we believe what we feel.
What were you reading on that iPad again?
You just know OP is female, over 48, has at least 3 cats and watches lots and lots of reality television.
Did your earrings tinkle like wind chimes?
Easy to laugh at OP, but on a number of occasions I've had a sudden feeling of extreme danger. Something bad has happened every time I've ignored my instincts.
You need to up your psych meds, OP. Just triple everything
Away out here they got a name
For rain and wind so scary
The rain is Tess, the fire Joe,
And they call the wind MARY!
MARY! blows the stars around
And sends the clouds a’flyin’
MARY! makes the mountains sound
Like folks were up there dying
They call the wind MARY!
Out here they got a name for rain
For wind and fire scary
But when you’re mental and all alone
There ain’t no word but MARY!
[quote] You are gone. You are remembered. You are at peace.
Oh, and also: You is kind. You is smart. You is important.
The clue is in the first paragraph....
OP hasn't been sleeping. Insomnia can induce hallucinations.
She was shot in the head!!
The "Think They're Funny When They're Actually Stupid" brigade has moved in. Time to take this thread off Threadwatcher.
I also believe it was the thoughts of someone who died on the property. If I was you, I would see what I could do to cleans the property. Or maybe if you ignore it, it will go away?
Laugh if you will at R10, but their advice is the most sound.
OP and R10, don't mind the haters. They're as shallow as a penny and have no sensory perception or empathy.
OP smoked a bong and watched Midnight Lace. Now he thinks he's Doris Day.
"Listen to your breasts / When they're calling for you / Listen to your breasts / There's nothing else you can do / They don't know where you're going / And they don't know why / Listen to your breasts / Before you tell them 'goodbye'..."
Same thing happened to me in Los Angeles once. I was standing on a corner in Hollywood around dusk. There was nobody around. Not even a dog. I remember having that thought first. Strange, in the middle of Hollywood to not see a soul at 7pm.
Then, out of nowhere, I was hit with a feeling of intense paranoia. I was in danger and I knew it. Standing there on that corner, I felt a feeling of malevolence, like someone was watching me, and, whoever that someone was, he had a gun in his hand, with me in the sight, and he was deciding whether or not to pull the trigger.
I walked back to my house pretty quickly. Never had that feeling of intense fear before or since. I honestly believed my psyche or whatever was giving me a warning.
This is just like the episode where Lucy is reading "Blood Curdling Indian Tales" and Ethel rings the doorbell and Lucy freaks.
Sleep deprivation plays tricks on the mind, OP.
I am breaking out in a cold sweat reading your post OP. I had a similar experience with a much different outcome. I am a nurse. I had lived on the Lower East Side in New York for years. The neighborhood was considered a no man's land for "decent folk" but I never had any trouble. I worked in a nursing facility four blocks away so being able to walk to work was a plus as well as very cheap rent. I worked the evening shift but would often stay after my shift to catch up on paperwork. I must have walked that short route to my apartment a thousand times and never felt afraid. The neighborhood people would look out for me and would often chastise me for being out alone late at night. I am female. A few days into the new year in 1986, I left my job around midnight as usual. The streets were totally deserted. On the walk home I began to feel uneasy. A feeling that I was being watched or followed. I kept turning around to look behind me. No one was there. As I reached the corner of my block I began to panic and I remember thinking that I should run and hide behind a parked car.I seriously considered heeding the warning in my head but the idea of one of my neighbors seeing me crouched behind a car in the middle of the night was even more terrifying. I managed to reach my buliding without incident and as I walked up the stairs to the front door I caught sight of somone on the sidewalk out of the corner of my eye. I turned to look and there was a guy walking slowly past the building He was young and attractive and looked clean and neatly dressed. He didn't look like a junkie or a crack head. There was nothing threatening about him. I turned back to open my door and as I did he rushed up the stairs and grabbed for my purse. I held on to the purse out of instinct and I was pulled off the stairs and landed on my back on the sidewalk. He started to run away but when he saw that I could barely move he came back and pulled out a knife and held it to my throat. He told me he wasn't fucking around and I better give him my purse. It took me a minute to realize I had landed on the purse in the fall. I told him to take the purse and he grabbed it and ran down the street. I was badly bruised and had trouble walking for a few days after the attack. It could have been a lot worse. Obviously, the guy had been stalking me from the time I left work. I definetly picked up on his thoughts about robbing me and using violence if necessary to get what he wanted. I think you had a similar experience OP. Someone might have been scoping out houses to rob and by going inside when you did, he decided to keep looking. He probably planned on grabbing you out on your deck. Much easier than having to break in. Thank your lucky stars that your intuition is strong and you were smart enough to heed it. Good luck.
Welcome to my world OP. I'm 52 and I haven't willingly sat outside in a pool of light surrounded by darkness since I was 6 years old.
What you had was actually a recovery of your survival instinct, that thing beaten out of you in school and by parents. It was probably not a human that you feared, but a hunting animal, and it is not natural to sit exposed at night where they can see you and you can't see them. That's why cave men always put the fire between themselves and the cave opening despite the danger from carbon dioxide.
Or carbon monoxide. Or whatever. They feared suffocating less than they feared night hunters.
For about 20 years (13-31) I had panic attacks related to severe social phobia. Having to speak in front of others triggered it. It triggered the feeling of crying which was incredibly hard to control. I conquered it through exposure, but it was a long process. (I'm now a teacher.). Once in a while it will happen, but rarely.
Last summer on a bus, however, I had a different kind of panic attack. This kind was agoraphobia related. My heart started pounding and kept increasing. I thought I must get off the bus now or I'll die. Since then they've happened a couple more times and have been terrible - like I must rip my clothes off and get out of my apartment. I thought they would literally kill me.
Male or female, r48?
You could be right R45. Maybe someone was hanging around watching from the shadows?
I knew a girl who had almost the same experience, OP. but then she died,
Actually, there was a chance that a bear or mountain lion wandered into Zephyr Cove, probably looking for garbage or loose pets.
How close are you to the deep woods, OP?
I'm a man.
That happened to me, r52.
I was camping with a bunch of friends at a 4H camp our group had rented for the weekend. It was late Saturday night and I was going to take the garbage to the dumpster just behind the main building. It was dark but I didn't think anything of it - I grew up on a farm and critters lurking normally don't bother me.
Anyway - I get about half way to the dumpster and every hair on my body stood straight up. Fucking weird as hell. I stopped dead in my tracks and was completely overwhelmed with this fear that I can't describe. I dropped the trash and ran back into the building as fast as I could go.
Turned out there was a cougar (the animal kind - not the old woman kind) in the area and had attacked a cow on a neighboring farm that night.
ALWAYS listen to your instincts. They'll keep you safe.
I thought, one more thread and I'll turn the lights off.
Every time I've ignored my instincts, it ended up very badly for me.
I'm sure R45 wishes she'd listened to hers. Don't worry about embarrassment, worry about survival!
I have no doubt that R54's story would've ended very differently if they'd worried about looking silly and ignored their instincts.
Psych101 do you think OP's situation has to do with the "Summer Solstice"? He did say that the wind felt like it moving towards him at ever motion. The wind suddenly went crazy! Was it just a spirit or.......was it an essence of something more sinister?
I like ZZZQuil.
Recovered memory from a past life.
[quote] All of a sudden the breeze picked up, turned into wind and seemed to come from every direction.
It's the solar wind, for Christ's sake. It picks up before sunrise.
How ignorant are some of you people?
R41 sounds like he/she would be fun to hang with. I'll bring the Cheetos and Mountain Dew.
I really think the OP tapped into the thoughts of someone who was out stalking in his neighhborhood. And the part that really has stayed with me is this: "He won't kill you right away and there are worse things that he will show you". Sounds like a rapist/sadist on the prowl. The thread about the rapist/serial killer in California who was never caught came to mind. I believe he raped one of his male victims. There are so many damaged people in this world. What are the odds that we will run into one of them on any given day? This thread has really creeped me out. And I am the poster at r45 who did not heed what my intuition was telling me!
Stop watching Game of Thrones, OP. It's giving you a case of shitty prose.
You "psychic" people are nuts. Psychics have been proven to be inaccurate consistently.
We knew you would show up spouting your close minded bullshit, r66.
It's not closed minded if it's proven over and over again to be fraud.
It is only fraud if you rent a store front, put a crystal ball in the window, and pretend to be able to divine the future and remove curses for a fee. The people who are posting on this thread are speaking from personal experience. They are not frauds. I personally do not believe that anyone should charge for psychic readings. It is a gift. Think of it as spiritual counseling similar to what a minister or pastor does. There is a reason why people with strong psychic gifts cannot read for themselves. They are not meant to prosper by using that gift for material gain. To deny that some people have abilities that you do not possess is not only arrogant but rather pointless. For someone who claims that all psycics are frauds, you sure are a know it all. Get over it.
[quote] It's not closed minded if it's proven over and over again to be fraud.
True. Childish and uneducated people believe in this foo-foo nonsense.
Psychics don't really help investigators find the murderer. That's television. In fact, "profilers" are no better than psychics and are mostly wrong.
[quote]I personally do not believe that anyone should charge for psychic readings. It is a gift.
Does that mean all people who have innate talents should not charge for what they do with those gifts?
Artists, athletes, musicians should work without pay?
This thread has me chuckling. And yeah my first thought was The Wind Cries Mary as well.
OP, honey, we all have weird moments like this. I have a recurring dream where I awake and its too dark and I go to switch on the light and it makes no odds. Then I feel terrified and the whole thing is claustrophobic. It usually means my breathing has been constricted in some way and sure enough it always is that. Sometimes we just have the human equivalent of a blue screen of death, darling.
Just turn it off and on again.
Ghosts don't exist except in anime.
"It makes no odds."
AYB has such an adorable accent!
He probably sounds like Leah from "Beautiful Thing." The key is how he says "slag."
Please re-read my post, r71. I think I was quite clear in stating what I believe. How are you making the leap from people who have psychic abilities accepting money for divining the future to artists, athletes and musicians not getting paid for their talents? You sound like you don't have a reasonable objection to what I wrote but you want to engage in a contentious debate anyway. Sorry. Not playing that game.
Okay, R75. I disagree with you.
There is the long standing belief that you can give them gifts but they aren't suppose to charge. I think most do charge no matter the belief. The phony's have very big balls, IMO.
Whose longstanding belief is that, R77? This is the first I ever heard of it.
Take some Xanax and go to bed. Layoff the pipe...being up three days on crystal is bad news.
So are garden ghosts like hedgehogs? Should you put out some cat food for it? Do ghosts like that sort of thing or is it more like breadcrumbs?
So many questions!
It doesn't really work that way. That's why you never see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery". Won't happen. Not because it can't but because the ability doesn't work like that.
It's "too close" to you and your conscious mind and ego get the signal twisted. I can't explain it any better than that.