Help me decide which DILF to seduce at this cheap, white-trash motel I'm staying at.
Specimen #1: Tall, lanky, swimmer's build. Nice looking with bdf for days. I first noticed him outside smoking when I checked in. Our eyes locked immediately. I was sitting on one of the sofas by the elevator last night when he, the wifey, and kid came back from dinner. Again, our eyes locked for a moment. He was dressed in a golf shirt and pants. Cut to three minutes later when he appears at the elevator in a wife beater, showcasing lean muscular arms and gave me a nod.
Specimen #2: Ridiculously gorgeous fratjock type staying there with a slutty looking gf. The body is perfectly fit-fat, must be seen to be believed. I was sitting on the sofa when they checked in. He saw me checking him out. He appeared 10 minutes later, also in a wifebeater, headed toward the guest laundry to wash his clothers. His arms are so muscular...again he must be seen to be believed.
Specimen #3: Hot as fuck black guy. Has one of those Muslin beards. Also walking around in a wife beater, showing off a tight lean build. Best asset is his oh-so muscular chest with a good amount of lush pit hair sticking out. He's noticed me noticing him.
I want specimen #2 the most, as he is JUST. MY. TYPE. I would kill to see specimen #3 naked, as I think he has the biggest dick of the three, but he seems unapproachable. I do think specimen #1 is the most vulnerable to seduction, so should I just concentrate on bringing it home with him? Any suggestions/advice would be most appreciated.
I say do all three.Go with the easiest one first. Then continue on.
OP, for once R1 has the perfect response!
specimen #1 sounds like the only reasonably hot one.
Don't do the one with the 'Muslin' beard. You might tear it -- or soil it. For the love of PETE!
OP, you sound skeevy and predatory. And like you don't have enought to do. Why are you staying at a crap motel, anyway!?
Neither. Go to the nearest gay club lest you get a beating.
I met a sexy, 40-something DILF (sort of Mike Rowe-ish) at a hotel in Omaha....he was there with family but when he saw me checking him out in the laundry room he told me if I wanted some of what I was checking out, he needed my room number.
Ten minutes later his cock was wedged down my throat. Twenty minutes later, he was pounding my ass.
Is this the same OP who was staying at a motel in Jersey and got a rash from the bedspread?
R6 has no sense of adventure.
R5 is a Frau who thinks you should at home cleaning the toilet and pleasuring yourself with the brush handle.
R4 has no experience with hanging on to a nice beard with both hands while being pummeled, and how it's good for hair growth. Obviously she is unfamiliar with the Koranic Apocrypha.
R3 is a clonequeen who calls herself a fratboy at 38.
R2 is a generous, thoughtful DLer with the right experience to make a suggestion.
R1 is a good, good friend.
And I am in Room 201 - the one with the door sitting open - who was puzzling the same thing as you are - until you showed up, you hot thing you.
[quote]Ten minutes later his cock was wedged down my throat. Twenty minutes later, he was pounding my ass.
Thirty minutes later all of your valuables were missing.
R4 Seems to have no idea that Muslin is not made of hair.
What the fuck are you doing in a motel? Methed all your money away and waiting for your sentencing hearing?
My personal opinion from easiest to hardest: #3, #2, #1. The black guy who noticed you noticing him would definitely be the easiest, followed by the guy with the slutty gf. The only one you would have to put much work in is your #1. He seems sort of straight laced but he'd give.
Nah, the one with the kid is probably the easiest to nab. Wife probably hasn't touched him since she got pregnant. #2 sounds HOT, but if the gf is as slutty as she looks, he's probably ramming her no-no as I type.
Which man-meat makes your mussy moistest, Momma?
Go for #1.
OP all this cruisin' is leading to a bruisin'......
God help me, bitches, but I've identified a fourth contender. Specimen #4 works at the front desk. He's Indian, and extremely handsome and well-built. We're talking Bollywoodish. I flirted with him earlier, and he returned the flirtation. I LOVE Indian men, and he fits the bill to a tee. However, I keep coming back to specimen #1. He and his wench and brat were poolside earlier, and he has a such a mouthwateringly long, lean swimmer's body which I'm certain the wife takes for granted.
I'm picturing this as a Technicolor B-movie with gauzy close-ups of OPs face.
OP, will you grace the pool terrace in your big floppy hat, sunglasses, high heels and Tab with a straw?
None of them want you.
Notice how OP claims all of these guys are HOT? I'm sure they are not attractive in the least.
This motel is great. There's a big comfy sofa on the third floor that allows you to keep one eye on the elevator and another on the small fitness room for any potential. It's perfectly positioned.
See why a lot of women don't say thank you when you hold the door for them? Men think that the merest of glances equals "let's fuck!"
#1 is my type. The wife and kid cinch it.
OP, I honestly hope you're right that all 3 really want you, and that you're reading their signals correctly. As a straight female I've learned that you can't always be polite to strange men who say "hello."
I'll take bachelor number 1, Bob! Where we will be whisked away on a fun filled date to......Puerta Vallarta!
R10 has just wrapped an exciting afternoon of washing her caftans and watching her stories!
I can't wait to see how all this plays out on a future episode of Jerry Springer...
Motel Hell, then?
#1? I think you may be speaking of MY husband! Why, that rat BASTARD! And what about our CHILD?!
You seem to spend an inordinate amount of time sitting on the couch by the elevator. Are you the bellboy? 5/5 for the silly wife beater fixation.
I've never seen that many wifebeaters in one place and who does laundry in a hotel? That said, the fit fat one would be my pick. Wear your most form-fitting caftan, OP, when you get ready to move in for the kill.
Hey babe, dig this. There's some old perv sittin' on the sofa by the elevator giving everybody the once over. Damn, we need to start stayin' in classier dumps.
What the three guys are really saying to their wives.
Thanks, we call them vests !
For the love of god OP get off the dang sofa and make a move! The nookie candidates may be checking out tomorrow.
Be very careful with #2. He sounds like he could be the type who might flip out IF you misread his body language.
r41 again - there is nothing sexier than a shirt with the sleeves cut off completely .... on the right guy.
[quote]OP, I honestly hope you're right that all 3 really want you, and that you're reading their signals correctly.
The odds of even *one* of these men wanting Noodles and her caftan is remote; the odds of all three or four is zero. In any event, I call bullshit: who the hell is hanging out at a sleazy motel room at 3 in the afternoon? Motels are empty around then.
We're slipping people. We're slipping.
This thread is useless without.... WHAT?
R41, R47, Explanations of the origins of the name "wife beater."
You must be a real beauty OP. Everywhere you go, every guy you see is attracted to you.
Take whichever one you want. They all know it would be an honor to be chosen by you - you fine thing, you.
Do let us know who wins the prize.
My pick is #1. Sounds like he needs to be appreciated. I agree #2 is the most likely to go psycho and murder you after he shoots his load.
#3 doesn't sound that interested - he may be looking at you because he's wondering "why does that mo keep staring at me?"
Go after them all, OP. Only 2% of the world is gay, so they say. You have to cast a wide net. Be respectful and humble in your approach and hopefully you won't get the shit kicked out of you.
"We locked eyes" = "What are you looking at, you creepy old queen?"
OP, when they call the class "Creative Writing," this is not what they are talking about.
Your night school instructor, whose last novel sold only 162 copies.
OP, have you "scored" yet? I'm sitting here eating popcorn and drinking my Diet Pepsi waiting for your drama to unfold.
I hope the long-legged Daddy is ball's deep in his corn hole.
Be sure and douche, OP. No one likes grunny weenie.
The black dude. Always.
Go with the one that'll kill you and stuff you in the dumpster.
Nice to see that Noodles got a summer vacation this year!
I realized there are a lot of hot trashy guys staying at this place. I stumbled across these two guys in Teamsters tee shirts in the cafe in the lobby last night. One was incredibly handsome...we're talking Tom of Finland handsome. They saw me ogling. Later, as I was sitting on the sofa waiting for specimen #1 to strut by in his wife beater, the two Teamsters guys came off the elevator. The ugly one intiated a conversation, but the sinfully handsome one became involved. I began to realize they're bfs. They invited me back to their room. Kicked back a few bears, and we went to town. Tom of Finland fucked me as the ugly one sucked me. I wanted Tom of Finland all to myself. The ugly one was excess baggage, but necessary baggage, nonetheless, if you catch my drift. All in all, a great experience, though I'm still horny for the DILFs. I haven't given up on them, especially specimen #1. I'll wear him down for the week is out.
This is getting silly.
I say purse your lips at any one of them and then stick your tongue out like a lizard. Then, wink at them with a come hither look. They should be yours like butter.
r70 is staying at a cheap motel with her hub and child, and is desperately concerned that her husband is specimen #1 about to fall into my trap.
[R70] is staying at a cheap motel with her hub and child, and is desperately concerned that her husband is specimen #1 about to fall into my trap.
Your "trap"? Is that what you call it?
OP, you sure are brave! I've never met anyone who is brave enough to kick back a few bears so casually and then have sex...
Bumpity-ba-da-boom. Yeah, OP, how did your romantic evening go at the Roach Motel? Aren't you gonna fill us all in?
This motel is just so wonderfully trashy. I realized there's a truck stop down the block where street trade, both male and female, are plying their goods. I might just take a little stroll tonight in the area to judge the trade. Specimen #1 checked out today. I was sitting on the sofa when he departed. I've decided that I must have married cock before I check out on Thursday. An interesting specimen entered the fitness room a little while ago. I may decide to see if that's viable.
OP, did you just check into that hotel to whore around? Why are you even there?
Sounds like he's at the beach since different people are checking in and out and he said something about "the week". Am I right, OP?
Seriously, I hope there's an STD clinic nearby and that OP has the sense to get tested. Grunny weenie is just the beginning . . .
sick and twisted, I LOVE it
OP, the only reason you didn't get fucked by Specimen #1 is because you weren't direct enough. Next time you see any of the other specimens, make sure to stare at his crotch, lick your lips, and softly murmur, "YUMMMMM!" Longtime DLers - was this Momma's or Noodles's trick? Either way, it has always worked for me ever since I learned about it on DataLounge!
Have you presented hole yet?
Hmmmm..... I've stayed in many cheap, white-trash motels, OP -- and NONE of them had an exercise room.
"kicked back a few bears" - I love it !
They are kind of impromptu R84. You know, two old coffee cans filled with cement with a bar sunk between 'em.
Old Clancy Ross posters tacked on the walls.
If you happen to have a handlebar mustache, you're as good as gold.
Keep us posted OP. At this point you might want to send webbie your next of kin info.
Mr. Eaton: (on the phone with Lucy) I'd like very much to print portions of your novel in a textbook I'm preparing on how to write a novel.
Lucy: Oh... (to Ricky, Fred, and Ethel) He wants to print portions of it in a textbook on how to write a novel. Go on, Mr. Eaton.
Mr. Eaton: Well, I wish Mr. Dorance had mentioned this to you, but... it'll head up the chapter entitled "Don't Let This Happen To You."
The Tom of Finland references alone put you beyond retirement age, OP. Tom of Finland himself must be wearing dentures by now.
What to do with your pension fund? Why troll the motels of course! (I would too!)
Looking forward to updates.
Haven't seen Tom of Finland or his uggo bf since our threeway the other night. Surprisingly, specimen #3, the muscled black guy with the beard, is showing some potential. Saw him working out in the fitness room this morning. He saw me looking, and gave me quite the show as I sat on the couch. If any of you guys fetishize pit hair like I do, your legs would turn to orange marmalaide if you saw those lush pits. I long to smell them...just grab a whiff. I'm going to try and lure him into my net tonight. I realize this could turn out really great or really bad, but I'm willing to take a chance. If I left this seedy motel without having a straight cock (at least in my face pussy), then I'd regret it for a long time.
The early stages of this thread did possess certain charming, understated stupidity which made the OP's fictitious predicament easier to go along with. Now, it's simply overcooked.
[quote]Tom of Finland himself must be wearing dentures by now.
the Finnish artist died years ago.
your inevitable beating is sadly now earned.
Give the name of that HOEtel! I wanna cruise there, too!
Those guys will let you suck their dicks if you can get him away from their burdens. Coax them up to your room for at least 15 minutes. Offer them a pipe and they'll be unzipping before you can say "I'm a filthy slut."
I like that term - face pussy. Never heard it before but now I may use it from time to time.
Does Momma refer to his face-pussy as his "fussy"?
The pipe must be made of glass, btw. And it must contain something white - not green - preferably lit with a torch.
I love anonymous motels. A more interesting vibe than big flashy hotels.
Muslin beards are so 2011. The really chic beards today are silk, 1000-thread count.
What city is the motel in?
Loving this thread.
Please keep us up to date.
Staying at a roadside motel. Not a chain. LIke I said, there's a truck stop right next door, and there are all types of stuff going on that. I walked around there this afternoon, and the area was littered with used condoms. I'm sitting on the third floor couch right now waiting to see if I can get a straight man's attention as he comes off the elevator. Wearing short shorts and an xs tee. Baby's getting desperate so she need to show off what god gave her. mmmk.
Don't go for the nigger, OP. They ain't nothin' but trouble. Just tellin' it to you like it is because, as y'all know, I is what I is.