The 1990s was a golden era for novelty songs!
I'm Too Sexy
[quote] "which way you going Billy"? I have no idea who sang this piece of .
That was The Poppy Family (w/ Terry Jscks). I LOVE that song, because, well....listen to the lyrics ( except the last line about "I'll stay your wife")
That song from Mame... Open a nude widow. What was Jerry Herman thinking ?
That dumb Shakira song. Yes, THAT one!
Come Inside My Sugar Walls - Sheena Eastman
Say you Say Me
I was gonna go with "I Want to Know What Love Is" until R24 reminded me of that spasm inducing ditty "Party All The Time"...the horror..!
Who could forget "Windy," the Association?
"Like a Virgin"
"Believe" (the "song" that made autotune ok - you will never be forgiven)
anything with that goat Barbara bleating
Most celebrity Xmas songs. Gooey, cynical kee-rap
Falco, "Rock Me Amadeus".
You Make My Love Come Down....All The Way....Down
I think "Mmm Bop" is a great song
Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves--Cher
Behind Closed Doors--Charlie Rich
We Live in a Two-Story House--Loretta Lynn
Don't Knock the "Twist" --Chubby Checker
The answer is now, and for all time shall be "Simply Having A Wonderful Christmastime" by Sir Paul McCartney.
The Voice of the Night
"You Light Up My Life" has blighted life ever since it was released.
"Afternoon Delight" is less than delightful, too.
Rihanna, Katy Perry, Ke$ha, Nicki Minaj, Justin Bieber, Justin Timberlake, Timberlake, 50 Cent, Lil' Wayne, Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga, Kayne West, Flo Rida, Black Eye Peas, LMFAO, Kelly Clarkson, Avril Lavigne, Eminem, Shania Twain, Boyz II Men, Christina Aguilera, Mariah Carey, N'SYNC, Faith Hill, Celine Dion, Brad Paisley, Brooks and Dunne, Britney Spears, Bruno Mars, Cheryl Cole, Chris Brown, Madonna, Michael Jackson, The Scorpions, Kid Rock, Robbie Williams, Phil Collins, Peter Cetera, Kenny G., ...
Don't Worry Be Happy
Walkin on Sunshine
"Windy" is a great song.
That tell me what you want what you really really want song by The Spice Girls.
"I'll Be Missing You" - Diddy feat. Faith Evans
That song with Mick Jagger, Will I Am and JLo is a recent top contender. No wonder Keith Richards hates him
Speaking of Jagger, his 1980s solo single "Let's Work" was dreadful.
Yes, R56. That killed him off Mick for me. Such a Thatcherite rich snot theme song handed down to the lazy masses.
[quote]Falco, "Rock Me Amadeus"
I like that song, especially the 5-minute German version. There are some really bad ones listed here, but a few are just quirky, odd, or out of the ordinary. That's not the same as "worst." It's good to have something different now and then, not just the same old thing all the time.
Feelings - an absolute shocker until you hear Nina Simone's interpretation.
This tuneless maudlin excrement was Number 1 for four weeks in the U.S. in 1990.
R61's (wretched) link reminded me of Michael Bolton. How about "I Said I Loved You...But I Lied"
The Stevie B song at r61 reminded me of that era of whiny groany songs without a melody that began about 1990. For several years we were inundated with slow, draggy songs with vocals where every other word was tinged with groaning/squealing sounds of physical pain. Boyz II Men was the worst.
'Don't Cry out Loud' (I've never heard more stupid lyrics)
'Sing (sing a song)' (if Karen weren't already dead, I'd come after her bony ass for this piece of shit)
r65, you are truly an idiot if you think those are "worst."
I thought this record was terrible with some of the laziest lyrics ever and no real chorus.
Rico Suave - Gerardo
"My only addiction had to do with the female species. I eat 'em raw like sushi."
"I'm used to good ol' fashioned homestyle Spanish cooking. If I tried that, I'd be puking."
I think the biggest reason the song did well was because of the attention from his shirtless video. So I attached a version that doesn't include that cheesy clip to judge the song on its own merits.
[quote]"You Light Up My Life" has blighted life ever since it was released.
It arguable deserves a save since it was the original closing number of 'Hedwig and the Angry Inch'. 'Midnight Radio' was hastily written when the music rights for 'light up' were revoked (I can't imagine why............).
There has to be a bootleg version out there somewhere...............
Here's one for you R67:
"We gonna meet your parents/
They gonna like my appearance"
The '90s had some of the most horrific earworms ever produced. Higher by Creed, The Thong Song, Mmm mmm mmm mmm...
worst of all - Summer Girls by LFO
My Girl Bill
Torn Between 2 Lovers
In fact, anything by the Captain & Tennille
Sugar Sugar by the Archies
The theme song to 3's Company
Anything sung by the Bradys. They put out an album or 2.
Anything by Jimmy and Christie McNichol
That song by David Soul, Don't Give Up On Us Baby. I want to vomit just thinking about it.
And how could I have forgotten:
Anything by Tony Orlando and Dawn, but esp. Knock 3 Times and Tie a Yellow Ribbon.
Nick Guilder's Hot Child in The City
Jane Child's song, whatever it was called, something about love being like a knife.
WTF is "worst" about any of those songs (except maybe Disco Duck) r73? If you think those are especially bad, you must not have listened to much music. Like someone said earlier, it seems like some of you are picking songs that are just odd/out of the ordinary. I'll take an odd/crazy song over something boring/bland any day.
The Captain and Tennille get a pass because they produced THE Trifecta of gay anal sex:
I Never Wanted To Touch A Man (The Way I Want To Touch You)
You Never Done It Like That
Do That To Me One More Time
Hot Child In The City is a sleazy treat, R73. Nick was an trailblazing trans presence (or so it seemed from his vocals)
No, R74, those Tony Orlando songs [italic]were[/italic] that "worst."
I Just Called To Say I Love You.
Ebony & Ivory...especially lines like 'People are the same wherever you go' & 'There is good and bad in everyone'.
Mull Of Kintyre.
Papa Don't Preach.
All Night Long.
This Boy...The Beatles.
I like The Beatles, but "Obla-dee Obla-dah Life Goes On" or whatever it's called, does deserve a mention
Even the "worst" of the Beatles is far superior to anything by Katy Perry or Rhianna.
Windy IS a great song!
Obla-dee Obla-dah is my favorite song of all time.
There is a special place for "Ebony and Ivory." Both artists are legends, yet they managed to create a piece of dreck that a third-grader would be embarrassed to thrust upon the world.
I acknowledge that "Ebony And Ivory" is a bad song but I still enjoy hearing it now and then.
The really bad one is "The Girl Is Mine".
The Christmas Shoes - that song about the little boy who wants to buy his dying mother a new pair of shoes for her to wear when she meets Jesus.
I hated 'Milkshake' by Kelis too. What a dumb song. And I was so clueless I thought it was literally about a milkshake. A friend of mine corrected me - "it's about a dude fucking her tits, dumbass!"
[quote]What kind of idiot thinks someone who doesn't like Tony Orlando .... bla bla bla
Do you have reading comprehension problems? This thread isn't about not "liking" an artist, it's about the "worst" songs. Do you even know what the word means? It means it has to surpass virtually everything in being terrible, rotten, horrible, etc.
"Girl Gone WIld" by Madonna. I heard it out somewhere recently, against all odds. It's so dead and mechanistic. It was dated upon release, with that title.
Which "Tie A Yellow Ribbon" absolutely, positively, definitely does, idiot child at R92.
R92, you must have singing comprehension problems. Tie a Yellow Ribbon is one of the worst songs ever recorded.
[quote]The answer is now, and for all time shall be "Simply Having A Wonderful Christmastime" by Sir Paul McCartney.
VOTN, I will see your Sir Paul McCartney and raise you "The Christmas Shoes" by Newsong. Truly horrifying...
Don't even try to argue with them r92. Singleminded loons like r77, r81, r73 & r95 see music as just an extension of their other ideological and personal resentments. They're incapable of listening to it with any objectivity. To them, anything that has an actual musical quality to it matched with lyrics they associate with something they resent, qualifies as "worst." Freaks.
[quote]VOTN, I will see your Sir Paul McCartney and raise you "The Christmas Shoes" by Newsong. Truly horrifying...
I give that one a bye only because of Patton Oswalt's hilarious deconstruction of it.
I hope I never have to spend any significant time in the presence of someone like r95.
[quote]Tie a Yellow Ribbon is one of the worst songs ever recorded.
With multiple angry posts on the matter, you seem to have a thing about that song. So I challenge you to try explaining what's so terrible about it without wandering into the ideological or personal ad hominem territory that r97 mentioned. Go on, be specific.
"Simply Having A Wonderful Christmastime" should be classified under cruel and unusual punishment.
Heart's "All I Wanna Do Is Make Love to You." Completely revolting premise made worse by the stupid lyrics (we walked in the garden/and planted a tree). Sadly, Ann Wilson sings the shit out of the song and turned it into a hit.
Personally, I'm handing this one to r26. By a mile. By a million miles.
That is just... I'm speechless. It just represents a level of awful that I didn't know humanity was capable of.
Literally, you see that and you have to readjust your understanding of what it means to be human. It's disturbing to know that you belong to the same species as the people in that video. It is that bad.
It will be a few weeks before I can sit up in bed and get back on solid food, but I know I'm strong and I can recover from the experience of watching that video. It will just take some time, that's all.
Absolutely, the worst song is "Man in the Box" by Alice in Chains. There can be no debate. This is a purely objective assessment. Liking this song gets you CUT THE FUCK OFF! Dear God, I want to die just thinking about it and the tools who liked it.
[quote]Completely revolting premise made worse by the stupid lyrics (we walked in the garden/and planted a tree).
Explain why the premise is "revolting" and why the quoted lyrics are "stupid."
I'm guessing you can't without namecalling, belittling and such.
OP, you really should try to read a book every now and then.
THIS GIIIRRL IS ON FIIIIRRRRE!
The Christmas Shoes song just makes me want to kill children.
I so very much hate the song at R26, but I can't stop watching it and wondering about it. I have so many questions about it that I know must go unanswered.
r110, his name is Paddy.
Then this is him a bit older, R111?
I just wonder what went into creating that song, how they decided on the dance moves, what the rehearsal was like, where it was performed, etc.
So very compelling in such a repulsive way.
Wow, R113. That's a worthy contender.
Badly-written song with poor metering; off-key singing; unattractive stars, one with a frizzy perm, the other with a mullet; actors missing their cues (e.g., the chauffeur forgetting to open the car door); pointless video footage... what's not to love?
The Offspring - Why Don't You Get A Job
R111, I think it's Angelo, not Paddy.
No, I think the "Ain't Gonna Pee Pee..." singer is Paddy.
Jan Terri. This is what happens if you get pregnant at 17 and don't go to college.
The pina colada song. Other songs on the album are even worse.
R74 must be Tony himself, or maybe the 2 other singers.
What's wrong with those songs? Do YOU listen to music much?
Good Times by Chic is the symbolic cultural rejection of the Black"movement"in favor of the party materialistic lifestyle still prevalent today.
"Lets put an end to this stress and srife,I want to live the sporting life"In other words,no more confronting white society,now we want what white society has and to hell with the Negroes at the bottom.
It's not as if "We Built This City" was my favorite song but I like it and I don't understand why it is so reviled. There are so many other songs that are so much worse, i.e. "Don't Wanna Miss a Thing."
"The Pee Pee Song", in which the common childhood problem of bedwetting is celebrated by the raucous, flaxen haired baby-of-the-family Angelo.
r123, we see you couldn't answer the question either. Just projecting and insulting.
That song "Slam" from Onyx.
Not the worst record ever, but it amazed me that it was a big hit. The melody is nothing special, and the lyrics could have been scribbled by a second grader - especially the chorus.
Pete Townshend was a big fan of Onyx back in the day,imagine that.
How does the DSM describe r124's mental illness?
R125 Think about it for a second. We built this city on rock and roll, yet it sounds nothing even remotely like a rock and roll song. Its lame, cheesy and just all around terrible. It has as much rock and roll as "You Light Up My Life."