If You Aren't Sexually Attracted To Certain A Race/Ethnicity
is it racist or bigoted? A spin-off to the "Big Brother UK Race Row" thread.
A lil bit.
Yes, and if you're only attracted to a specific racial group you're racist too.
I think you can like all sorts of people and not want to have sex with them. Some people like people who are taller/shorter, too
Well it is discrimination of sorts...
Race is physically just a matter of skin color.
I don't usually collect pics of black men for some reason, but I am attracted to many I've known in real life. It's not like black guys are mad I won't date them, black/white, no one wants me. And I would and have dated black guys anyway, I lost my virginity to one.
I'm not attracted to blacks or to blonds. Does this make me bi-racist?
No. Just as if one is only sexually attracted to men, one doesn't have to be sexist, if one is only attracted to blondes, it doesn't mean one looks down upon redheads and brunettes, and if one isn't sexually interested in people who are significantly younger and or older than one is, that one hates people who fit that description.
Sexual attraction has nothing to do with considering people superior or inferior. In fact, some racist, slaveholders were only sexually interested in their slaves of the race they oppressed.
It's a matter of semantics.
Are you anti-semantic, R9?
If you say stuff like "Asians are ugly" and are like those on the douchebags of Grindr site who say "no blacks, no asians, no fems" etc then obviously that is bigoted and racist.
You can see beauty in other races, but not be attracted to them. Some white guys only date Asian girls, some like Robert De Niro prefer black women. Why this was listed under the "dirt" section of that old A List gossip site about De Niro, when he's well known for it I don't know. I mean are we in the 1950s?
This is very interesting though unlike the last Big Brother race row and may create some dialogue. Interracial couples have long been accepted but this never gets talked about. It is a tricky thing. In the Western world of course white beauty is idealised and dominant.
Good point, R2. And the idea that if you're white and attracted to blacks means you're not a racist is the equivalent of thinking that a straight man cannot be a sexist.
The dick wants what it wants and there ain't nuthin' you can do 'bout it.
What's a race row? Is that like a boat race?
I'm usually only attracted to white men black friends in Phila were also only attracted to white men who was racist?
[quote]And the idea that if you're white and attracted to blacks means you're not a racist is the equivalent of thinking that a straight man cannot be a sexist.
Tell me about it.
R12's sure worked himself into a PC tizzy. Wound tighter than a 3 dollar watch.
Love me some Guidos! Mmmm,
I don't support the argument that not being sexually attracted to a particular ethnicity makes you a racist. Does not being attracted to the same sex make you homophobic?
That being said BB Jemima's phraseology was unfortunate:
“I go for darker looking, not black, but darker features, Mediterranean. I wouldn’t generally go for a black guy"...
..."I like darker guys, but not black guys. Wouldn’t really go for Chinese. I like mixed race."
It would be racist if all beauty was set out equally. But the white race is considered the best race, so when one rejects others races, although they may not be a racist, their desires have racist undertones.
My parents were very strict about being open to anyone's beauty. They had all different types of people as friends. Some people grow up in an all white world and never want to touch a black man. Some grow up in the same world and only want a black man.
I agree with R13 though. But in a better world the dick would have more choices.
Oh dear r19, well she sounds like a right MENSA candidate. She hedged her bets to cover herself, but still.
How dull. I thought it was something more straightforward the PC Police were getting worked up over. But you can hardly blame them given the last Big Brothers... it happened at least twice, not just Jade but that dumb student bitch who said "nigger" in the ghetto slang speak way in front of an actual black person.
I think it was actually a derogatory term for someone of Pakistani origin. But equally as offensive.
I think I might hate myself for watching it. Is it possible to pass BB off as research in social interaction so that I feel better about my lowbrow viewing habits?
It depends on how a person vocalizes their preference. In addition, even if a person doesn't find a race attractive in general, they most likely find at LEAST one or two members of that race attractive.
The worst Big Brother show was the Teen Big Brother "experiment". That was truly repulsive. I'm glad I only watched 10 minutes of that. That had homophobia in it I think.
Oz had a lot of comedy racism, where in a heightened prison situation they were forced to confront it.
People who aren't attracted to members of their own race are mentally unwell and self-loathing. White people SHOULD be attracted to white people. Black people SHOULD be attracted to black people.
Asian people SHOULD be attracted to Asian people. But far too often, (ESPECIALLY!) with minorities, there is a glitch or defect that only allows them to see beauty only in the faces of other races. I've seen nothing but harm come from this mindset.
To say that you don't find an entire race of people sexually attractive is racist. And those feelings come from racist roots. Saying that you don't like people with blue eyes is different because you're not excluding all of the other people of that race who don't have blue eyes.
People who say silly things like 'the dick wants what the dick wants' don't understand that the dick doesn't have a brain. Your fucked up racist brain is telling your dick what it does and doesn't want.
Now are you a horrible person for having these feelings? No. Human sexuality is biological. The types of people we're attracted to is an amalgam of life experience, pop culture, and quite frankly the first person who really turned you on. And the people you aren't attracted to usually stimulate negative feelings and memories of some past negative interaction with someone who reminds you of that person.
Shut up, OP.
You assholes are so desirous of finding new ways to troll at racism you miss the real racism and bigotry around you. And in you.
As if a stance of non-interest isn't often a sure sign of suppressed attraction. As if sexual proclivities are static. As if a general preference expresses itself in dealing with specific individuals. As if preferring a "type" is a sign of disorder, and not having such preferences is an indication of health.
Christ. What is the DL turned into?
[quote]My parents were very strict about being open to anyone's beauty.
[quote]but that dumb student bitch who said "nigger" in the ghetto slang speak way in front of an actual black person.
Do you mean the one that was singing that rap song and said 'nigga'?
[quote]To say that you don't find an entire race of people sexually attractive is racist. And those feelings come from racist roots.
So we should fuck people we aren't attractive to to please the PC police. Got it!
We're talking about sexually attractive to US, not that they aren't sexually attractive to EVERYONE.
I would love to see you go up to a black person and tell them that if they don't fuck white people they're racist. lol
Is it slutty to not be discerning?
I've done white guys, black, hispanic, chinese, indian, arab, pacific island... Any other major groups left out? Lol
[quote]and are like those on the douchebags of Grindr site who say "no blacks, no asians, no fems" etc then obviously that is bigoted and racist
No, it's not obvious at all. It may be a little blunt, but is it better to not say anything and waste their time when you know you are not interested?
No. And that goes for all races.
When someone yells out 'PC Police' they're pretty much wearing a sign saying who they are and what they believe in. And 9 times out of 10 they have no idea what political correct is or means.
I'm grew up on a poverty-stricken, isolated, destitute reservation. Needless to say we didn't have much of a gay community. For years I would dream about moving away and being around other gay people and finally being myself, and finally being happy. I was very young and very naive at the time. I experienced racism growing up and I began to associate racism with certain people, which were the people who were racist toward me, the people near my town, straight, white, small-town, people. I thought once I left the rez ( which is a feat in itself) behind and got around other gay people I wouldn't have to worry about racism because gay people were the rainbow people and didn't care about another person's race or skin color. Like I said, I was naive.
I would eventually find out that in reality, race is the most important thing in the gay community. Your race and skin color will dictate how people in the gay community treat you, whether they will be nice to you or even acknowledge you or respect you. I made friends but they were exclusively other gay POC.
I would notice that when we'd go to gayborhoods that were majority white we'd get dirty looks or when we'd try to go to bars and clubs it would be very difficult to get into them. We'd have to present multiple forms of ID and if we didn't have them, we couldn't get in (white patrons didn't have to do this). If we were lucky enough to get in, the people inside would avoid us and slowly clear out whenever we came near. In 2006 some of my friends took part in a march in the Castro protesting anti-Latino racism and discrimination there. But nothing changed. If you are Latino and have a more indigenous appearance or not whitewashed you'll get the treatment. Not to mention if you're Asian or Black or anything brown. I could go on and on about horrific and blatantly racist experiences in the gay community but I'd end up writing forever.
Needless to say, my indigenous appearance hasn't served me well in the gay community. No minority is really welcome, which is why they create their own enclaves. Racism is a central part of gay culture and gay culture condones racism and looks the other way or wants to keep it quiet so straight people don't find out, though many already know. Gay bars had anti-black signs just like stores and restaurants in the Jim Crow south. Gay minorities weren't allowed to venture into certain white gay neighborhoods period, not so long ago. There have been gay members of the KKK....
Gay people put No Asians, No Blacks, White people only in their ads because racism is condoned in this community. Do something for me, go to any dating site and just browse the straight ads and pay particularly close attention to the straight white ads. You'll notice that very few if any will have No Asians... in their ads. They may hint or be very subtle but they generally don't say things like that. Why is that? Well, I think the answer is obvious. In mainstream society, racism is unacceptable, it isn't condoned. As a result of this, they don't put blatantly racist remarks in their personal ads. They don't want to appear racist. The gay community is the opposite. There is very little stigma for appearing racist or being racist in the gay community. There is no incentive not to be racist.
I was reading an article the other day about how a black-face performer has sold out shows in gay clubs all around the US. A BLACK-FACE PERFORMER! Seriously? When did black-face become acceptable? Well, it isn't. At least not in mainstream society. I won't even get into how gay NA are treated in Canada, because again I will end up writing forever, just horrific. Racism is a huge problem in the gay community and overwhelming majority of gay minorities would agree. But nothing will change, it will always be this way. I'm not going to get into why, but trust me it will always be this way unless there is a big demographic shift. I don't even know why I even bothered to write this because my heart has really hardened, just killing time I guess. Anyhow, off to bed.
If one of the bars I mentioned above an older white guy approached our group. He looked like he was by himself so he started a conversation with us that eventually touched on racism. He came right out and admitted that when he was younger he was very self-centered and prejudiced/racist. I guess he saw how other people in the bar were acting toward us and wanted to talk to us about it. He said he regretted being like that and wished that he could go back in time and change it. He said because he knew that he missed out on a lot of important experiences and possible friendships because of his attitude toward people who were different.
He was one of the very few to even acknowledge us and we had a very engaging conversation. He even admitted that racism is a real problem in the gay community which surprised us. We left and never came back. Again, why am I writing this, I couldn't really tell you. I know that these posts won't go over well and will get the racial slurs going (Injun? Really? People still say that?) but I couldn't care less. I rarely come on this site now anyway. It's all racism, woman-hating, antisemitism, Muslim hate all the time. Don't waste your time. It's unlikely that I'll be reading it anyway. Night!
I like white men with yellow skin.
[quote]To say that you don't find an entire race of people sexually attractive is racist.
Then that means that if you don't find an entire gender of people sexually attractive, you're sexist.
So to be gay is automatically to be sexist.
I like r35, r36.
So, if you are only sexually attracted to tall people, or people with red hair, or hairy guys, or smooth guys, or average appearing guys, or well hung guys, or guys with bubble butts, or guys who have bellies, you are bigoted?
Few people would suggest that.
Race is no more than a general set of distinguishing physical attributes.
Sexual attraction, for some, though by no means all or even most people, is confined to certain distinguishing physical attributes. And for some of these people there is a racial correlation.
But that doesn't make those people racists.
Just one illustrative example: a peson may grow up in a Latino community (whether or not that person is Latino), his or her first crushes and erotic appreciations might have been on/for Latinos, and were so imprinted on him that he is only, or primarily sexually interested in Latinos. That doesn't make that person a racist.
This is a PERFECT example of political correctness OUT of control to the point of hysteria.
You're attracted to who you're attracted to. PERIOD.
Your dick has no moral or ethical responsibility to the "feelings" of those it won't get hard for.
I like men of all race's, how dull only liking a certain race/ethnicity.
I agree with R35. I think your posts will go over well.
Every two or three weeks there is a "pity us because we are not white thread." The racist claims are only thrown at white gay people because that's the group black, Amerindian, East Asian, South Asian etc. are attracted to. Black gay people don't care if East Asian gay men reject them because they are not attracted to them and vice versa. But they do care if white gay men reject them. The issue is not white gay men wanting relationships with white gay men it's with non-white gay people who don't want relationships with their own.
[quote]You're attracted to who you're attracted to. PERIOD. Your dick has no moral or ethical responsibility to the "feelings" of those it won't get hard for.
Reach a little further. WHY are you attracted to who you're attracted to? No one is born only attracted to blond white people or only Latinos. Those things are developed.
[quote]Then that means that if you don't find an entire gender of people sexually attractive, you're sexist. So to be gay is automatically to be sexist.
God, I hate this stupid little false equivalency that always gets brought up by stupid people. Are you born gay? Yes. Is anyone born out of the womb only preferring whites with blue eyes or only preferring blacks? No. One is innate, one is learned, whether consciously or unconsciously. The sooner you realize this, the sooner you can do something about it. Dig deeper.
Then is to be only to be attracted to people roughly your own age ageist?
Is to be attracted only to people of normal weight looksist?
Why should these be less discriminatory then to be attracted to people of one race? They are all learned preferences.
I think it is very odd to say you're not attracted to a racial group. Are you attracted to everyone in the racial group you're into? I doubt it. There are attractive and unattractive in every race, and I personally think people who say they aren't attracted to X race are bowing to some social conditioning or stigma. Related, one my best friends is this gorgeous, gorgeous black guy and he tells how he's always getting hit up by white men with "not into blacks/white only" in their profile.
Although I appreciate the noninflammatory tone of your comment and I understand the nature of cultural conditioning I have to say, respectfully, it ultimately doesn't MATTER as to "why" one is drawn to certain traits and features.
And I reject the characterization that NOT finding a particular type of human is a racist or bigoted opinion.
[quote]Are you born gay? Yes.
That's far from certain yet. There's been no indisputable genetic marker identified yet for homosexuality, and since often in identical twins one can be gay and another straight, it seems unlikely that homosexuality and heterosexuality are purely genetic.
Early environmental and parental conditioning factors may be (and probably are) a big part of it. What's clear is that most people can't change their preference for one sex or another very easily; so then why should they be able to change their preference for certain races any more easily?
Also, I don't believe attraction is ONLY a consequence of cultural conditioning. I KNEW I was attracted to men when I was 4 or 5 years old. I didn't have to have the idea imprinted on me. I have I mean if it was all culturally related why wouldn't I be attracted to women? Am I sexist?
What difference does it make?
No matter who or what type you're attracted to, there's plenty to go around for everyone, so what's the damned difference? Boink whomever you want to.
"The hard-on wants what it wants - or else it doesn't care."
It's simply common sense: taste is not prejudice.
OP, I used to be adamant about how I'd never date an Asian guy. I'd intentionally limit my focus to white, Latino, and black guys while justifying my neglect of Asians by simply noting they weren't attractive.
But then, as a young military officer, I was stationed in Korea and I was forced to confirm my bigotry. There were so many gorgeous Asian guys and I would've been grateful to hook up with any of then during that one year assignment.
When I got back to the US, I conceded that it's undeniably racist to refuse to date anyone from a specific race. I DON'T believe it's racist to have preferences (which is why I've always been attracted to guys with dark hair and blue eyes); however, there's no excuse for justifying one's racism by implying all _________ guys are unattractive / unintelligent / unsavory / etc.
[quote]The types of people we're attracted to is an amalgam of life experience, pop culture, and quite frankly the first person who really turned you on.
Holy shit! My first male crush was a guy with dark brown hair and blue eyes...and I've always wondered why that's my type. My first female crush was Rudy Huxtable (Keisha Knight-Pullam) and to this day, I still get flustered around pretty black girls (for the record, I'm her age!).
R35-although you probably won't be reading this, I think your post will go over fine with those who can truly comprehend it. As you allude to, it is one thing to have a preference but it's another to state your preference publicly in a blatantly racist way and see nothing wrong with it. It's not as if you are being forced to respond back to those you don't prefer, so why the need to state it in such an obviously racist and offensive way? Why go out of your way to such an extent?
Most people date, marry, partner-up with members of their own group. And yes as many posters have attempted to allude to, AAs have the highest rates of dating, marrying within their group along with whites. So there is nothing inherently wrong with preferences. But let's remember that preferences are social/cultural constructs. AAs and whites have the highest rates of in group relationships because they've been socialized this way. Our country had anti-miscegenation laws for a very long time. And of course it has shaped our perceptions and preferences. The fact that our society is in fact a society that places whiteness at the top of the heap also shapes and influences our preferences. The problem arises when you live in a multicultural society and completely write off entire groups of people as not attractive or not your type. Why? Because those perceptions and beliefs bleed over into other areas of one's life. It's been scientifically proven that we are kinder, show more respect toward, trust, and place in higher esteem individuals we find attractive.
If you're a hiring manager and a person from one of your written off groups comes in for an interview and interviews against someone from a group you generally find more attractive, who gets the job? And much of this is entirely subconscious. Blatant racism may not be the entire reason for higher minority unemployment rates. I'd be willing to bet that most who write off entire groups of people are less likely to have friends from that particular group or many other groups. Of course most will lie and say that they do but a scientific study would prove me correct. You both consciously and subconsciously think of the excluded groups as less than and inferior; therefore, you surely aren't entering into friendships with such people. Of course you can lie and say you do, though. Like I said it bleeds into other areas of your life.
R35 also mentions that straight people who as I said tend to date and marry within group, don't post such blatant, racial exclusions in their ads. And I do think this difference speaks to a larger issue with racism in the gay community which I think is R35's primary point. It's simply more acceptable in the gay community because sadly racism is more acceptable in our community. And NO black-face is not acceptable and I would never support that show. How much do you want to bet that those gay men who buy tickets to black-face shows write off blacks as a group ( bleeding, bleeding)? As a white gay man, I can't imagine limiting myself in such a way. Our community is small enough. But if you insist, I suppose you can't complain about limited options and a lifetime of loneliness. The bigger issue here is the need for so many people to advertise their preferences in blatantly racist ways. This is a much bigger problem than the actual preference itself. I've come across many straights who are completely shocked by this. shit, I've never written this much on here.
No, it's not racist per se. It could be, but it doesn't have to be.
If you say 'People from XX part of the world generally have features that I am not attracted to, in my experience.' it's not a very polite statement, not very PC, it might hurt someone's feelings... but it's not racist.
Now if you said something like 'All people who are of XX group are unattractive.' then that would be racist because you are generalizing to that entire populace.
Now, as to the people on Grindr and such, they're showing that they have no class, but from a utilitarian perspective they're doing everyone involved a favor. They're not looking for a life partner, just a hookup, and sooner rather than later. Because they have limited space to communicate, they voice their preferences in racist terms. If you could really talk with them, some would in fact be racist, but some would say something like 'look, sure I might like someone who is XX maybe 10% of the time, but it's rare enough that it'll speed things up for everyone if I just say what I want up front, and it's not like I'm looking for a boyfriend or something.'
Whenever a troll or someone posts one of these threads it's always about white guys who won't date blacks, or asians, or something. That's bullshit. I may travel in more diverse circles than some folks, but I have been in plenty of circumstances where a group has singled out some white sub-set, like the British, and talked about their bad teeth, how fast they age, their fugly faces, etc. So it goes both ways.
When I see folks getting all worked up over this kind of thing, and they don't seem to be trolling, I always think that they're saying a lot more about how they see themselves than how anyone else sees them. Rejection hurts, for any reason, and often the other person has no concrete reason at all that they can express. But at the end of the day, everyone is allowed to feel the way they feel. If not, then I guess we should all go back in the closet because the Christian nutjobs think men liking men at all is a sin.
I once had a black guy in my bed, and I don't know how to say this, but the sheets smelled bad on his side the next night. Is this common with black men?
Only after they've fucked you, R59.
One time at the grocery store the girl ahead of me, who was probably about 21yo and stunning, forgot one of her bags of groceries. Trying to be nice, I grabbed it on my way out and walked towards her in the parking lot. I called out to her to try to explain what had happened, and she turned, rolled her eyes at me, and walked faster to her car. Only once I caught up to her and gave her the bag did she realize that I wasn't trying to ask her out. She still made a shitty comment though to indicate that she wasn't interested. (We were both white, I was mid- to late-twenties at the time. I would get my share of compliments, but I wasn't in her league.) I made a face back at her, told her I was gay and to get over herself -- that I was just trying to be nice. No apology or anything, she acted like she didn't believe me.
As much as I thought she was a bitch at the time, it did occur to me that with her looks she probably had a lot of creepy guys coming on to her. I know it's not the same thing, but it's an incident that stuck with me, and I've thought about it before in the context of a situation like that with gay guys would be even more of a mess. When you change the dynamic to men being both the hunter and the hunted (and some just trying to have a conversation, or make a friend, or whatever else) it causes more problems, because generally speaking guys suck at communicating or expressing their feelings.
Are you white, R59? I had an asian guy tell me once that because of the amount of dairy in many westerners' diets that they reeked of rotten milk to him. He was a first generation immigrant from China.
If you're gay that it would be logical to be attracted to MEN PERIOD.
Not being able to appreciate attractive physical attributes of men of different races is being mentally stunted. It's fair not be attracted to a specific person but to proclaim a total repugnance to an entire race is racist.
Generally it's uptight middle class white queens who express these views.
Personally I am an Irish man, with a big, thick, pasty Irish cock.
gwd 4 u
I' not attracted to women, so what does that mean? Is it ok to be gay while being attracted to certain types without being considered a racist or bigot?
The point is to follow your desire and to not give a flying shit.
[quote]but to proclaim a total repugnance to an entire race is racist
Who the hell said anything about total repugnance to an entire race? Do you have any reading comprehension skills at all?
I am attracted to straight-acting white guys and sometimes black guys with European features and fair complexions. While I am not a racist in any other area, I admit that it is racist thinking and more than likely I get it from my racist family and my lily white home town. But it is also a little homophobic, which I get from my homophobic family and my lily white home town.
I admit it and I own it, but I'm not proud of it. I love how some racist gays try to bend themselves into pretzels running away from their racist feelings. Own what you feel. If you can't fix it, don't lie about it, especially to people who know that you're lying. And stop blaming your dick for your racism and homophobia. Man up.
I couldn't sleep with an Asian or Arab. My choice.
I love you r70. There is nothing more respectful than an honest person.
[quote]So we should fuck people we aren't attractive to to please the PC police. Got it!
Nope. By all means, fuck who you want. But be aware when you say shit like "I'm not attracted to (insert race here)" or at least imply it, you're being racist and will be called on it eventually.
So how is it politely said that I am not attracted to fat people?
A complete lack of awareness has contributed to the straw man arguments and false equivalencies that tend to make their rounds in these threads. I'm all about people liking what they like, and if that's what gets you going then by all means please do that. These "conversations" rarely get anywhere because people refuse to acknowledge that attraction has psychological, biological and social-cognitive origins. The point I think some people are trying to make is that this issue about race goes much deeper than just sex and dating. There is a consistent attempt to have conversations with individuals who refuse to acknowledge that racism and prejudice attitudes are issues LGB people still need to address.
Just as some folks like to argue how reprehensible it is for Black people to display homophobic attitudes because of their history, you should find it just as reprehensible to allow racist attitudes to be the status quo within the gay community because of our history.
Yes it is. You are without a doubt a racist if you write off a race/group.
With that said, what's wrong with being racist? I'm racist! I hate 99.9% of the human race. That's pretty fucking racist right? If you hung out with me, you'd probably hear a racist joke every ten minutes.
I thought we couldn't choose who we are attracted to?
It's true. We can't choose who we're attracted to. More specifically, our hearts can't choose who they love but our hearts are also blind. A heart doesn't fall for the best looking but for the best personality.
What you consider "good-looking" is something that society conditions.
[quote]Nope. By all means, fuck who you want. But be aware when you say shit like "I'm not attracted to (insert race here)" or at least imply it, you're being racist and will be called on it eventually.
And if I'm not attracted to someone with hair, I guess I'm a bigot right?
How horrible is it when Jews will only marry Jews?
[quote]I think it is very odd to say you're not attracted to a racial group. Are you attracted to everyone in the racial group you're into?
Because certain facial features turn us on. Humans are shallow.
[quote]Reach a little further. WHY are you attracted to who you're attracted to? No one is born only attracted to blond white people or only Latinos. Those things are developed.
Because perhaps you're not blond, white, or Latino, though you grew up around them and wanted to bang them but couldn't because they were straight. Maybe because you're not those things, it's different, so it's a turn-on.
[quote]You can see beauty in other races, but not be attracted to them.
I'm like this with Asians. I find so many stunningly beautiful but have not, so far, been sexually attracted to anyone Asian. I think I may find their "perfection" intimidating.
R26 has it about right. But I don't think the racist brain is fucked up. Most of us have some deeply ingrained racist feelings. We are most comfortable with the type of people we grew up with. What matters is how you react. Do you let those feelings control your mind or do you reject those feelings as present but invalid?
R50, homosexuality can have a biological cause and still not be 100% genetic. I don't think you fully understand what "environment" means. There is a critical moment in the development of a male fetus in utero when a surge of testosterone masculinizes the fetus including its brain. If that surge is off by even a tiny bit, that can affect brain development and thus human behavior. This theory is supported by the fact that homosexuals tend to have a specific part of their brain more similar to heterosexual women than heterosexual men. You also neglected to mention that in identical twin studies, twins separated at birth still have a higher concordance rate of homosexuality than fraternal twins and normal siblings. This suggests that there is a strong genetic factor as well in addition to the environmental cause I previously described. There is too much evidence in support of a biological cause for it not to be causation. Anyone who studies this stuff would agree. It's mainstream society, politicians, and the religious community who are ignoring the evidence. It's cute that you think that how you are raised can "make" you gay, but there has never been a reputable study to support that claim.
I'm curious, would any of you say that blacks are racist is they're not sexually attracted to whites or Asians?
No, R85. People who have been oppressed are entitled to want to bond with others who have had the same experience and to be turned off by the oppressors.
I'm white but never sleep with other white people. They look pale and unhealthy to me.
[quote]I'm curious, would any of you say that blacks are racist is they're not sexually attracted to whites or Asians?
Yes, that's racist too. However, it has been my experience that Blacks and Hispanics don't run from it when called out on it or try to bullshit their way out of it.
I'm attracted to a certain kind of face, I don't care about skin color. A Porsche is still a nice looking car, in which ever color it comes in.
I hate caveman or butch faces. I like sweet and friendly faces. I also hate curly hair, blond curls in particular.
I'm white and I like bearish mature white men, red heads, college age South Asian men (preferably from South India), professional looking black men (non-thug types) and Asians with large eyes. I guess I'm just full of biases.
Everybody wants to fuck white people.
I prefer any race as long as they are HAWT. Okay?
Just because you have certain taste in what you find physically attractive doesn't make you racist. IF there's more behind it then maybe it does, but simply based on a preference you can't draw that conclusion.
Nobody seems to think a man that prefers blonde blue eyed guys, or girls, is racist. Its a common question "what's your type"? And if a man says he likes blonde blue eyed men or women no one flinches or calls him a racist. But that type obviously excludes Asians Blacks and Latinos, but no one calls racist.
People have different appreciation and standards of beauty in all realms...art architecture fashion decoration etc. Just because people have certain aesthetic tastes doesn't automatically mean that they are being prejudiced or discriminatory vs the other options available.
We're hardwired to be sexually attracted to people who look like us. Look at the linked study.
By the way, serial killers tend to look for victims among their own racial group. Is that racist too?
[quote]Nope. By all means, fuck who you want. But be aware when you say shit like "I'm not attracted to (insert race here)" or at least imply it, you're being racist and will be called on it eventually.
[quote]And if I'm not attracted to someone with hair, I guess I'm a bigot right?
Are you kidding me with this?
"Not being able to appreciate attractive physical attributes of men of different races is being mentally stunted. It's fair not be attracted to a specific person but to proclaim a total repugnance to an entire race is racist."
Who said anything about total repugnance. Those are the choices? If you're not sexually attracted to someone you must find him totally physically repugnant?
Where do you people get this shit from?
[quote]Because certain facial features turn us on. Humans are shallow.[/quote]
You missed the point. If a person claims they're not into X race, but only Y then does that mean you find everyone in Y race attractive? I doubt it.
My Italian grandmother used to comment that Diahann Carroll was very pretty for a negress.
It is not racist to not be sexually attracted to a certain race or ethnicity, but is racist and myopic and condescending to only find other races with features similar to your own "attractive", and to think that progressive.
That is what so many people do. All you Shemar Moore lovers who don't like thugs but are crushin on a light-skinned black dude with white features. Very attractive for a Negro. Ha. Give me a thug and a man anyday. Or people who find Asians pretty looking but don't like flip flops. So many reasons to reject people as sex partners. I have some of my own.
Just be aware, and don't offend and like who you like and fuck who will have you.
I am half of an interracial couple. We have both been in relationships with members of our own race before and opposite sex too. Sexual attraction cannot be PC mandated, but opening your mind and being self aware is never a bad thing. We live in Montreal and the only people it seems to bother is some gay guys who want to see people fail in love. My partner's family in Trinidad are another story. They hate me and they reject him. Painful.
I tried to fix up two of my friends once. One a very close friend, the other a professional one. They texted, they talked, they liked each other. Lots of excited conversations and questions to me in between. Then they met.
They both said the same thing to me after. "He WAS good looking, but I am not attracted to guys with darker skin than me." WTF? Ha. One was Iranian, the other a mix of chinese and black. Both are dead cute guys. The dick wants what it wants, but it is prejudiced by the mind sometimes too.
There is not only one offender and within individual race and ethnicities there are all kinds of hierarchies of preference and bias. We are all racist. Just don't be rude about it and try to be aware of how ridiculous we sometimes sound.
There is no doubt that in gay "culture" that certain races are more favoured and fetishized than others. This is unattractive and unfair.
Racial hatred brand of racism is everywhere on DL, but not so often encountered in my everyday life and I get around. I hope that people try to understand one another.
Smile on your brother.....
[quote]No, it's not obvious at all. It may be a little blunt, but is it better to not say anything and waste their time when you know you are not interested?
Hmm yeah R32, I suppose. There isn't any nice way of saying it and I do agree with R58. It's not racist and I have never understood why people thought so and been amazed sometimes that posts here tiptoe around it and people have been called "racist" when they said they weren't attracted to a certain race.
You get comments on Xtube like "ewww Asians" and people shout "racist!" back, it's nasty but harsh reality. I've been asked by people stuff like "are you attracted to Indian guys", so it's not like other races aren't aware of this.
I also love r35's story and absolutely agree. Gays can be very racist and it was much worse before. I remember the actor from Car Wash was saying something about how he had to be black to be gay and they'd never pick a white actor for that. As said, skin colour is a factor and black people can be negative to those with dark skin.
What can you say? Conditioning in society, humans instinctively are judgemental(?). Like Avenue Q said "everybody is a little bit racist sometimes" but I don't think this particularly is. Not actively anyway.
There are so many possible variations among humans, and sometimes divergent ethnicity is a spur to mutual fascination.
But the idea that anyone should feel bad about what their dick wants is the opposite of gaydom.
I'm white and I prefer men of color.
Of course, I'm also into plantation role playing, so that might have something to do with it...
couldn't date an albino, sorry..
Well, I'm African American and I've only been attracted to MOC, such as Asians, Latinos, Arabs,Polynesians, Blacks (of course).... I've always liked dark hair, dark eyes, dark skin and ethnic features.
My friends would always tell me that my taste would change and I'd be more open to white men as I grew older. As someone said upthread, our community is pretty small and we probably shouldn't limit ourselves by 'writing off' entire groups of people. I don't want to be like that. I actually find Adam Levine attractive so maybe my friends were right. He's the first white guy I've ever found attractive.
Well, I should probably clean that up. I know when a white man is good-looking, just like a beautiful painting. I can recognize beauty in white men. What I mean is Adam is the first white man that I've felt a real attraction to. I hope you understand what I mean, I don't want to offend anyone. However, Adam does have dark features so I wonder if it counts? Anyway, I'm trying to be more open and not exclude entire groups, so we'll see how it goes. Please forgive any mistakes or typos, I'm using my phone to type this.
Oh, I have the biggest crush on Adam Yamaguchi. He's a journalist on Current. Anybody else think he's cute? This is the best pic I could find, but he looks much better on TV.
Are you racist if you're white, but you hate blonds?
I love R70, too.
Years ago there was this cute white guy I exchanged a few notes with on one of the gay dating sites who, when I asked him if he'd like to go out sometime, wrote me back and said, politely, that he was not interested. Okay, cool, no problem. Fast forward a year later and I notice him popping up again (and again and again) in my track list but I say nothing to him. Well, one day he sends me an email saying how much he liked my profile and that he'd like us to get together, so I open his profile and it's the same save for one very important difference: he was now HIV positive. Okay, I thought, now I know why he's interested in me all of a sudden when a year ago, while he was still healthy, I wasn't his type. Needless to say I ignored him and moved on, not because he was poz but because if I wasn't good enough for him the first time around, why the change of heart now? Most likely because now that he's become "damaged goods" and it looks like his choices will now be very limited, a black guy he never would've before considered "dateable" suddenly looks good to him. And I'm supposed to be flattered by this?
And don't think he's the only one. Not by a long shot. I can't tell you how many times white guys have written me to say how "hot" my profile is and when I open their profile, I see the same thing every time -- either an old, fat white guy or a young, hot white guy who also happens to be HIV positive (or, if he's not poz, he's a barebacker looking for a black guy to "breed" him).
Again, if you don't like black guys (or Asians or Latinos or whichever), that's fine -- whatever floats your boat. Just stop pretending it has anything to do with the sexual appeal of other races and not your own closed-mindedness, which never seems to be a problem for you until the day that closed-mindedness combined with lousy life circumstances threatens to leave you old and alone.
r106 TOTALLY hit the nail on the head. Why Black men are considered so "undateable" in the gay community really is something else. I mean, it is a very, VERY racist and segregated community. Not just about who people sleep with, but who people are even FRIENDS with. It's crazy.
I'm a black guy, involved in a semi-relationship with a cute, handsome, successful black man that lives in another city. For now, we both date others in our respective cities until something changes and see each other every few months.
Here in NYC, I tend to deal with white dudes more, and I think they're just a big old batch of crazy. I feel like there's a LOT of social pressure for them not to date black men even if that's what they're into ( or one of the things they're into). I'd love if some white posters would comment on whether that's true or not. I do fetishize white pussy though. I guess I'm definitely a typical black man in that way.
The black men either: only date white men, are closeted, or far too into the idea of being " discreet" that they can't have any fun.
I'm not super into Latinos so they're not a factor for me. That spicy Latino bullshit just isn't a turn-on for me at all. I find the most boring, bland White dudes seem to be into that because they think being with a spicy Latino gives them a personality or something.
Asians are simply much too busy trying to find a white husband to notice any man who isn't. Their lack of confidence in who they are is sad to me. But I did hook up with the hottest Asian who got me into eating ass. Said he was bored to tears with white dudes. Then I see him on Fire Island months later with his white boyfriend lol.
But the moral I guess is that I'm sexually attracted to EVERYTHING. I just like bulk and muscles. As a black man in gay world you don't really have the choice of choosing just one ethnicity. What I find is that as you get older and options start to diminish, the white guys start figuring that out, too.
Just as there are, for example, extremely racist white men who only get really hot for black people, there are, for example, non-racist white men who only get really hot for black people.
And you can substitute any races you want in the above illustration.
I will admit that I do find it hilarious when white guys who wouldn't have dreamed up hooking up with an Asian, Black, or Hispanic guy goes down that road when they're 'damaged goods' (i.e., old, fat, or POZ). It's the exact same way with women who old dated popular jocks or the cool fraternity guys or the up and comers in their teens and 20s, settle for anything they can get when they hit 30 years or 30 extra pounds.
If you're not attracted to one race or another, then you're not attracted. BFD. Be with someone you are attracted to.
This is such a non-issue, I'm surprised someone turned it into a topic.
[quote]couldn't date an albino, sorry..
Me either. They have to have some melanin for me.
Clearly r110, this is such a non-issue that nobody is replying to this thread.
You shit head.
R110 is posting from his pedestal of white privilege, oblivious to the world around him.
"Posting from a pedestal of white privilege." Cracks me up. No ethnic or minority group can claim the high ground based on victimhood alone...as we so often try to do.
And to think people would call you prejudiced because of whom you're attracted to, well that's just hogwash.
No but some groups *should* acknowledge the effects of the pedestal.
It's up to the individual to decide if they want to expand their preferences, they can't be forced. I'm making the choice to expand my preferences to include white men. I know it's not going to be easy because I have a strong preference for dark hair, dark eyes, dark skin, and ethnic facial features. But we'll see how it goes.
I'm not entirely sure how preferences are formed, but I'm quite sure that our environment ( which includes our society of course)plays a big role in shaping who we're attracted to. Our society is very race conscious(even though race isn't real). It's like we're separated into separate teams based on race/ethnicity/religion and we fight against each other as if we aren't from the same country. This most definitely influences our preferences. And if one group is held up as the ideal, that will have a big impact on our preferences as well. Therefore, I'm aware that my preference isn't immutable. I wasn't born with it,it can be changed. But the individual would have to want to change, again it can't be forced. I think if you can separate your prejudice in partners selection from your daily life then it's fine. But is that possible? I can't say.
Personally, I think the larger issue is the way some white gay men choose to list their preferences. It's pretty offensive. It's reminiscent of a painful part of our history that we aren't far removed from. And I do think it says something about the gay "community." I try not to offend the white men who could possibly see my ads. Much of the time I'll just describe myself ( physical features that I like) and just say I'm looking for the same or similar or I'll say that I have a strong preference for dark hair, eyes, ethnic features.... I try to get the point across without being offensive.
Actually R114, it is prejudice. That's the primary reason I'm considering the change, that and I don't want to be old and alone. The Asian, Arab, Polynesian populations are pretty small in America, which means the gays who belong to those groups are a tiny, tiny minority. As far as Blacks and Latinos there are about 6 million open LGBT people in each group. And remember that number includes lesbians and transgender persons. I live in California so I do date ( or whatever) a lot of Asians and Latinos. I suppose I could always move to NYC where they have a lot of what I like, except maybe Polynesians (just delicious) but I guess I'd still be limiting myself. The perfect guy for me could be some blond guy. It's hard for me to see that in the space that I'm in now; I'm not attracted to blonds at all. But then, if you had asked me just 2 years ago if I thought Adam Levine was attractive, I would have told you, hell no!
I'm white and I do have to say that in NYC the gay scene is pretty segregated, and white gay men can be AWFUL in regards to gay men of other races. The main Latino group here is Puerto Rican and OMG so many white queens are awful about PR's. They want nothing to do with them. Asians are tolerated but not many white guys seem to be into them. Black guys are not welcome at all in many gay white circles. Most white gay guys in NY tend to stick with each other.
And don't even get me started on the various class prejudices among gay men in NYC. They are horrible to people they perceive to be of a lower class than them. NY is a very status conscious city for everyone who lives here, but the white gay men just take it to a whole other level.
I have friends the color of people I have absolutely no attraction to regarding sex. Similarly, I don't attract all races, but we are friendly when we get to know one another, better.
And no, it isn't racism. It is a preference.
It's hard to believe that a person would have relations with someone they feel is inferior in any way, because they harbor guilt feelings. That would be a bigger insult to the other party than if he hurled racial epithets at him.
It's difficult to find the right person. I don't find redheads sexy, but many mexican friends do. And I see African Americans with them. And it's reciprocated: Redheads aren't usually attracted to me; i.e. the flaming redheads. There are darker redheads who have given me a second look, and I, them.
That's the same with hispanics. Personally, they seem to me to be the most racist people on Planet Earth. And I have been among them for eons! And I have the same shade of skin as they.
I've heard from hispanics, and agree with them, that Asians are a turn-off. But even that isn't entirely true. One of the most beautiful men I've ever seen was a young, Chinaman with ultra-white skin, and thick, thick totally black hair. It also helped that he maintained a great physique. Most of all it was his beautiful personality that was so appealing to me.
The exceptions sometimes rule!
I agree R119, it is hard to find the right person. Don't take this as a personal attack, but 'Chinaman' is not an appropriate way to refer to East Asians and can be very offensive. Maybe it was just a mistake and you meant Chinese man. Mistakes happen all the time when writing out our thoughts ( I know I make my share of them), so it's OK.
No you did not just call Hispanics racist and then went on to say "Chinaman." Really 119?
First of all Hispanics, at least how we think of it here in the US, is a very large demographic that encompasses a lot of cultures.
Some come from countries where white people are the majority (Argentina,Uruguay), others where there's a large population of blacks or biracial people(Colombia, parts of Central America), and others where Mestizos are the majority (Mexico). I doubt all of them think alike.
Let me give you an example, in Mexico the Chinese and Japanese cultures are huge, but Cubans couldn't care less about them.
The only point I'm willing to give you is the readhead phenomenon, maybe. Why Irish/Scottish guys don't exploit this concept more... escapes me. I mean I would get myself a nice Cuban pinga.
R119, if you attracts racist people round you...
Good point, R121. I'm AA and I date A LOT of Hispanics, most being Mestizo/Mexican since I live in California. Not to mention, nearly all of my gay friends are Hispanic. So needless to say, I haven't found Hispanics to be the most racist group of people. I tried to give R119 the benefit of the doubt but now I'm starting to wonder about R119's motives.
For a moment I thought you meant Asian-American and then I was like "Wait! It can also mean African-American." lol I guess it's the beauty of our country. We're all over the place. :P
My first boyfriend was a Hispanic like me, then I dated an African American, and now I might settle down with a nice Irish man.
Hmmmm, R123, I didn't realize that some people might think I mean Asian American. I forgot about that. Thanks for reminding me! I think I'll stop being lazy now and just spell out African American lol.
I'm just seeing your post, R117. What you describe is very sad, but unfortunately it's not uncommon. A lot of POC just stay away from certain areas. It's just what you do, it's normal. Most just build their own space like Atlanta and other places so they don't have to worry about discrimination and can just have a good time.
I visit Atlanta a lot because of that; I can feel comfortable there. Atlanta Black Pride is a great experience. You can let your hair down and feel comfortable. feel good, feel fulfilled. I go with my friends (who are Hispanic, you don't necessarily have to be black to attend black pride, I've even seen white people there) and they love Atlanta because you can be gay and of color and it doesn't matter. Oh, boy, I'm rambling. Sorry about that. I just wanted to acknowledge your post, R117.
Is this thread meant to criticize white gays for not dating people of other races only? Do Asians and Asian Americans, many of whom seem to date white people only, get a pass?
That's totally what this thread is for, R126. That's all these threads are ever for.
The boys whose panties get in a bunch over this need to get a new hobby.
I dont do blacks.
I am caucasion btw.
The "white gay men are racist" meme is meant to open up the white dating pool (through guilt and endless badgering) to non-white people. That's it. Non-white gay men want to be with white gay men. For black gay men, in particular, besides the physical attraction to white men, white men are a ticket out of the black community which they do not like. They only want to be sometimes visitors to the black community. Pretty much all out black gay celebrities have or had white partners. Non-white gay men rather jump ship and join white gay men and be in the space they create or live closeted than confront heterosexuals of their own race to get things changed.
Is that in spite of the fact that blacks have one of the lowest rates of marrying, dating outside of their race, R129? Particularly black gay men? You know what. I just realized something. You're black pretending to be white. I suppose you're against interracial dating and lashing out. You need to try a little harder. White people may not be able to tell that you're black, but you gave yourself away but I won't say how.
It's actually pretty rare to see a young Asian woman dating another Asian person. Asian women just love yellow-fever white men.
What makes you say that, R130)? I don't know about the black thing but he's certainly an idiot. You have to laugh when white people think they know anything about black people or other POC. They say the most outlandish things and really believe what they are saying. Are you forgetting that we are minorities? And you aren't a member of any of our communities? You are the majority so we know way more about you than you will ever know about us.
Someone forgot to give R129 his meds!
I hate when this conversation comes up. It reduces very real problems with racism and discrimination in the gay community to the lack of sexual agency of some POC within it. There are plenty of reasons why this community has deeply ingrained problems with race that have absolutely nothing to do with what white men choose to do with their dicks or asses.
And it also allows people to assume that just everyone is into white dudes, which really just isn't true. There are TONS of black gays and Latinos who will not even look at a white man. They're just completely uninterested. However, you're not gonna find them in Chelsea or HK. The kinds of black men you'll see in those hoods and bars (and other cities' versions) are either those who exclusively date white guys or those who are open to it.
I know in NYC, there is an entire party scene dedicated to Black and Latino men who date only each other. I don't try to police other people's sexual habits. The dick wants whatever it wants and that's that. Preference, though informed by racist ideals isn't racist in and of itself.
What is racist here in NYC is how white gays sneer and turn up their noses at black gays, give us poor quality service in gay bars, make racist jokes, and completely rip off every single element of black gay culture while doing so. I mean, where do you think all this stuff from RuPaul's drag race that has thoroughly inundated gay culture came from? Reading? Spilling the T? Kiki? Black gays have been saying that shit for DECADES.
My friends and I have a running joke, wondering what term the black gays have been using forever is gonna be picked up by some white drag queen and become the "new" saying in the mainstream gay community.
The mainstream gay community really is a microcosm of mainstream American society, which is both "repulsed" by and obsessed with its black members. Face it: we give you flavor. Without us you'd be even more boring than you already are. And it's gonna be scary when all the gay white dudes run to the Republican Party once marriage equality is achieved.
[quote]Is this thread meant to criticize white gays for not dating people of other races only? Do Asians and Asian Americans, many of whom seem to date white people only, get a pass?
Nope. This thread is meant to criticize people who are dumb enough to believe that not dating someone because of their skin color is simply a preference.
quote[That's totally what this thread is for, [R126]. That's all these threads are ever for.
The boys whose panties get in a bunch over this need to get a new hobby]
That's a great idea r27! People of color should take up knitting to avoid discussing racism.
If you are only attracted to dark haired men, you don't believe - unless you are completely insane - that dark haired men are superior human beings to blondes or women.
If you do believe the latter than you are the equivalent of a racist (that is you are eugenically hateful as well as sexist). If you don't believe the latter, than you are merely sexually particular.
The same is true if you are only attracted to one particular ethnic group.
Wanting to have sex with people with certain particular physical traits, even exclusively, is not the same as thinking people with those physical traits are better people who are more deserving of consideration, rights or respect.
Why is this so hard to understand?
This is like saying that unless you are a bisexual, you are a sexist (if gay) or self-loathing (if straight).
[quote]I do fetishize white pussy
So in other words you're hurt most white people don't feel the same towards blacks, even ones as hot as yourself. Accusing them of deeming blacks undateable is projecting code that they're unattainable for you.
Rather than have any self-respect, you rationalize this by concluding they must be "racist" to not want you, instead of something biological they can't control.
Why is something so simple and common sense complicated by modern "lets not offend anyone" politics. This has nothing to do with PC. People tend to go with their own, end of story.
A lot of black guys in city will date white and asian guys with "swagga" (i.e. Channing Tatum/Yellawolf types). Those guys are usually color blind and quite hot.
Would you say that Adam Levine has swagger, R140? I can't figure out why I'm attracted to him. He has dark features but his skin is not dark.
Adam does have a certain swagger, R103, but tilts towards the hipster side (massive tats, alt music origins etc). I would put urban white acts like Plan B, Daley, Robin Thicke and Classified under that category.
Sexual attraction is heavily influenced by status anxiety and a gay man's status is determined by his age, facial appearance, muscularity, wealth, and social status. Re. social status: I remember not too long ago when most North American white men would not have sex with an Asian man. As Asians have made their mark in North American society during the last decade, that situation has changed considerably and Asian men are now considered highly desirable.
Oh I see, R142, I guess maybe it's the certain swagger he possesses.
You might want to rethink that, R143. Unless you're being sarcastic. If so, I'm sorry for not getting it.
but what if you're attracted to white guys with black cocks, like Michael Jackson?
Just to throw some gasoline on the "race" definition fire...
It's amazing what your DNA can reveal these days.
Results of Vanessa Williams' Ancestry.com DNA test.
17% British Isles (England, Scotland, Wales, Ireland)
11% Southern European (most likely Italian)
Wow! R147, is that all of her ancestry? Being Creole ( and I always thought Vanessa was Creole because she looks like it but apparently she isn't) I know that I'm French, Spanish, Indigenous American, and West African. But I'd love to have a breakdown like that, especially concerning my West African ancestry.
I dont expect a lot of the posters on this website to be attracted to those outside of their race. Most of the posters here are over the hill and are past the stage of intermingling with other gays, not to mention gays outside their race.
Even though many of you live in large cities, you have had limited social interaction with those outside your own race. It is evident in a lot of threads here. And like someone said earlier, the South and Midwest are becoming more integrated than big cities in the North, just because the socio economic disparity is becoming way more prevalent in those cities in recent years.
Wow! Good point, R149. Thanks for posting that. I forget that I'm talking to primarily middle aged people who are more likely to hold prejudice views, thus explaining a lot of the opinions on this board.
I am biracial, and have been attracted to at least one person from every race and ethnicity at some point in my life. I have always wanted to date an Asian, but they are not attracted to me for whatever reason. I do get hit on a lot by white guys who exclusively date black men, and try to 'act black'. They are so annoying.
My Asian friend loves big black cocks.
I would say you are racist if you say you are not attracted to an entire race/ethnicity. You are pretty much generalizing that people within an entire race/ethnicity as looking a like. If you just say that you find a particular feature to be unattractive and that feature happens to be more prominent within a certain race then maybe not.
No-one's replied to my point at R94.
Shouldn't we DO something about all the [italic]racist[/racist] serial killers? As criminal profilers well know, most of them exclusively choose victims from their own racial group.
What IS it with those people??!!
Don't know if it has been said but the main issue was not that she wasn't attracted to black men but she immediately assumed that Gina, the black woman, wouldn't be attracted to white men. The other points were raised but it is this that most people have latched onto over here.
I am sorry, but it is not racist if you are not attracted to every option under the sun.
A lot of people have types, tall, dark, handsome, well endowed etc.
So lets take the "no fats, no fems, no Asians" tag some gay men use. If you are simple minded they sure it looks racist, but if you think for a change, its just a type that person dose not like.
Lets cut to the chase on that one. The truth is most gay men want a guy equal or more masculine then they see them self. Asian men just dont cut it there. There is no "machismo" in that culture like some others. So even the straight men are sort of fem. Gay men even more so. Are all gay Asian men like that? Of course not. But if you had to generalize, there is some basis for that perception. You cant say every culture is the same, that is some PC twisted fantasy.
The guys who put no Asians in their profile dont want women with small dicks, they want some study guy with a big dig. Ya, I said it. Deal.
OH, and spare me the "I got a pic of an Asian with a big dick" routine. I said generally not everyone. I could find an ugly Caucasian too whats your point.
Asians are the most racist of them all. I live in a big city and almost every Asian guy I have met has a one track mind for with guys. Doesn't matter if the guy is much older, fat, bald or has a criminal record, as long as he is white that is all that matters.
Seriously, its like 9 out of 10 in this town like that. Even with a huge Asian community, I have yet to see a gay male Asian couple. I am sure they exist, but they are about as common as a big foot sighting.
Maybe no one has answered R94's question because it isn't very well thought out. You're comparing the criminal behavior of a psychopath to the selection of intimate/romantic partners. It's just silly.
Look, I have no dog in this hunt. People can date who they want to date. However, please don't act like your preference isn't a form of prejudice. It seems that many of you need to look up the definition of prejudice. It seems that R103 is the only one willing to acknowledge that deeming white men unworthy of dating is a form of prejudice. You are prejudging an entire race of people you've never met. Your preference is a form of prejudice.
Preferences aren't automatically innocent. Slave owners preferred to own slaves and preferred for slavery not to end. Southern bigots ( and many in other parts of the country) preferred segregated schools, preferred for blacks not to vote and to sit in the back of the bus. There were shopkeepers who preferred their customers to be all white. At one time whites preferred to move Native Americans to reservations and preferred their land.
At another time our government preferred to lock Japanese Americans in camps. And do we need to get into what Hitler and the Nazis preferred to do? There are hiring managers who prefer to hire white men because they like them more. Your preference isn't necessarily pure and innocent. It's prejudice ( if you're struggling with that look up the definition) call it what it is and move on.
And there are also studies that conclude that humans are naturally attracted to other races. Other studies ( not the linked one) have found that humans find people who appear mixed-race most attractive. I know few people want to read long, 50 page studies so here's a condensed version of the Cardiff University study. I figure those interested in reading the longer study would have enough information to find it.
Why white men are more attracted to women with Asian faces: Humans are hardwired to fancy other races
R159, you appear to overlook the fact that the link you gave actually supports the notion that people exhibit sexual preferences along racial lines:
[quote]Government figures show around one-and-a-half times more black men marrying white women than the other way around in the UK.
More white men have also been found to marry East Asian women - compared to Asian men marrying white women.
What other interpretation can there be? If there was no "hardwired" racial bias surely the percentage of people attracted to a different race should be symmmetrical across the sexes?
How do you explain the disparity? Cultural differences between men and women? That would be clutching at straws.
BTW, how do you explain the serial killer conundrum I raised? No, I'm not saying a normal person's unconscious sexual attraction is equivalent to a psychopath's "attraction" in choosing their victims but why isn't the latter random? You don't want to characterize serial killers' choices of victim as racial prejudice because that would clearly be illogical: if they're racially prejudiced why WOULDN'T they act on that hatred and attack the races they loathe? No, far easier to just say serial killers are psycho so who can possibly draw any conclusion from anything they do? Leaving you to happily label normal people as racist because of their subconscious sexual urges, some of which may even be biologically hardwired into them.
They OUGHT to be attracted to the people YOU say, huh?
Oh, and finally, your misleading use of the word "preference" in your post, far from supporting your argument has made it meaningless. The nazis "preferred" to commit a global holocaust?
Give me a fucking break!
r139, did you read anything I wrote? Your post doesn't sound like you did. At all.
It is racist to say that you're not attracted to black guys. However:
It is not racist to say that you are not attracted to guys with kinky hair. Even though that is going to exclude a lot of black guys, not all black guys have kinky hair.
It is not racist to say that you are not attracted to guys with brown eyes. You're going to knock out a huge portion of black guys, but not all black guys have brown eyes.
It is not racist to say that you are not attracted to guys with sickle cell disease. Because even though sickle cell disease is predominantly a disease that affects black people, not all black people have the disease.
It is not racist to say that you are not attracted to guys who go to Morehouse College. Even though it is a predominantly black college, not all black guys go to Morehouse College.
It is not racist to say that you are not attracted to hip hop artists or basketball players or jazz musicians because not all black people are hip hop artists or basketball players or jazz musicians.
To say that a certain race is not attracted to other races is ignorant and racist.
To acknowledge that individuals have all matter of preferences in partners with respect to their physical characteristics, and that some people are only sexually interested in members of a particular racial group, their own or another; that these people are not racists but merely exhibiting their own sexual affinities, is simply being honest.
There are black women who are only sexually interested in black men, white men who are only sexually interested in white men, white men who are only sexually interested in Asians..... there are all matter of these combinations. They have nothing to do with a belief in racial superiority or inferiority, they are just a sexual interest.
If you prefer music made by African Americans, are you a racist? If you only like European food and don't like Asian food - or vice versa - are you a racist? If your interest in travel is limited to Latin American countries because of some cultural affinity, are you a racist?
No. And the same goes for sexual affinities.
R160, I looked up the definition of prejudice for you because you're clearly too lazy to do so:
a. An adverse judgment or opinion formed beforehand or without knowledge or examination of the facts.
b. A preconceived preference or idea.
2. The act or state of holding unreasonable preconceived judgments or convictions. See Synonyms at predilection.
3. Irrational suspicion or hatred of a particular group, race, or religion.
4. Detriment or injury caused to a person by the preconceived, unfavorable conviction of another or others.
tr.v.prej·u·diced, prej·u·dic·ing, prej·u·dic·es
1. To cause (someone) to judge prematurely and irrationally. See Synonyms at bias.
2. To affect injuriously or detrimentally by a judgment or an act.
The fact that you quoted a portion of the article that is clearly referencing interracial dating and said that is shows that people exhibit sexual preferences along racial lines, speaks to why you think the whole serial killing thing makes sense. It actually shows that people are dating along interracial lines. Have you ever heard the saying divided along racial lines? Or maybe voted along racial lines? Blacks and whites voted along racial lines? Along racial lines means, divided into racial groups. Therefore, to exhibit sexual preferences along racial lines is to prefer one's own race. What you quoted does not jibe with your conclusion.
Black woman, white man relationships are more symmetrical to black man, white woman relationships in the UK, less so in the US. What conclusions should we draw from that? And what the hell do you mean "cultural differences between men and women"? Are you even trying to make sense ( again, this is why the serial killing thing makes sense to you)?
I'm not going to put too much effort into this because you're not even clear on what you're trying to say. None of your positions are well thought out. You compare murder to relationships and you think it makes perfect sense. Why would you freely compare yourself to a serial killer, a person who is a sociopath? A person who lacks empathy and sees very little distinctions between people. Race only matters to a sociopath when their is something to be gained from it (I'll point out what that is). Why do you think choosing a partner is equivalent to a serial killer choosing a murder victim? It should be obvious to anyone with a 6th grade education that a sociopathic murderer's preferences in victims is not equivalent to a non-sociopaths choice in intimate partners. Your logic is faulty.
You compare something pleasurable to something devious and evil. This may be news to you, but no one wants to be brutally murdered but most people want to be loved. Therefore, a serial killer is not a racist, but strategic. Serial killers kill along racial lines (see what I did there?) because it's easier for them to gain the trust of someone from their own race/ethnicity, which is a reflection of our society's racial (among other) divisions. In a colorblind society, this would be different.
The synonym of preference is choice. Unless you think Hitler, Nazis... didn't make the choice to do those things, I used the word preference correctly. Again not well thought out. I couldn't care less who you date, date who you want to date. But the effort ( and illogical conclusions you're drawing) you're putting into proving that it isn't prejudice is laughable. R103 is the only one of you who exclude groups (I'm not talking about those of you who don't exclude and correctly called it what it is) who was self-reflective and smart enough to call it what it is and move on. The fact that you feel the need to argue about it and make a big spectacle of it all shows that you're insecure about your position and deep down you know it's prejudice (which it is) and you're hoping that if you can convince others that it isn't you'll be able to convince yourself. It's not working, so stop trying. End it.
Instead of R103, I should say R116. He used R103 as the author handle on that post. Sorry for the confusion.
[quote]I am sorry, but it is not racist if you are not attracted to every option under the sun.
A lot of people have types, tall, dark, handsome, well endowed etc.
So lets take the "no fats, no fems, no Asians" tag some gay men use. If you are simple minded they sure it looks racist, but if you think for a change, its just a type that person dose not like.
Let me get this straight, only simple minded people think the phrase "No Asians" is racist? If you were an Asian person and heard a group of non-Asian people saying this, you wouldn't think it was racist? Seriously?
I think its simple minded to think its not.
Are you people capable of being objective and not defensive?
Crap, I meant to put the second paragraph in a quote box
[quote]I am attracted to straight-acting white guys and sometimes black guys with European features and fair complexions. While I am not a racist in any other area, I admit that it is racist thinking and more than likely I get it from my racist family and my lily white home town. But it is also a little homophobic, which I get from my homophobic family and my lily white home town.
I admit it and I own it, but I'm not proud of it. I love how some racist gays try to bend themselves into pretzels running away from their racist feelings. Own what you feel. If you can't fix it, don't lie about it, especially to people who know that you're lying. And stop blaming your dick for your racism and homophobia. Man up.
best reply in the thread
Only if the reasons for it are shady. "I'm not attracted to ___ because they're too aggressive/passive/slutty/etc".
If it's purely physical, then no.
No, it's not racists. Tastes differ, haven't you heard?
Then the shriekers will shriek "RACIST!" It's what they do. They can't help themselves.
35/36. You know would've been great? For your group of POC to disperse in the club for the night or more and just POC bomb the hell out of it.
R170 if you're declining someone because you don't like their skin pigmentation then that is racist.
Anyways, I think bigoted is more accurate. Through conditioning you've come to not like those features. Valid but it doesn't make you any less of a bigoted douchebag.
Honestly, I pity people who decline someone based on their skin tone. If he's hot/a good person then that's all that is needed.
Yes. You must have sex with Asians in equal ratio to everyone else you have sex with. Only then can you "racist" label be lifted.
If blacks and latins want me to be instantly attracted to them, they better collectivey pull themselves by their bootstraps and start making more money for my financial security.
Not being attracted to women doesn't make me sexist
Not being attracted to old people doesn't make me ageist
Not being attracted to a certain race doesn't make me racist
I'm not attracted to blacks or blonds. Lying naked with most of them does not make my dick hard. Am I biracist?
It's interesting to me how tastes change.
When I was younger, I only dated white guys.
When I moved to a big city and saw so many beautiful latinos, african americans, Indians, etc., I suddenly became attracted to them too.
Funny how attraction works.
It's certainly racist but it's also something ingrained in our physiology.
Certain types of people get our hormones going and other types don't. It likely has to do with where you grew up, types of people you have had relationships with before, and who is around you now.
I assume if a white man who only dated white men moved to Africa, in time he would find black Africans attractive and date them.
Why wouldn't someone be attracted to a certain race, skin tone. That's the bigger question. Like I've dated Asian, Latino, Black, white and I'm a mixed guy. English, Scottish, native and black mix. I don't see why someone would say, "I don't date whites or blacks." It'll be like why single out one or more groups not to date. The conclusion would be kinda racist, in my opinion.
NOT EVERYONE MAKES MY DICK HARD, R182. GOOD FOR YOU YOU DON'T HAVE THAT PROBLEM.
R183 who doesn't get your dick hard, blacks, whites?
R182 here again, I've dated blacks, Latinos, Asian and whites. But I'm most attracted to latino men for some reason. I dated a guy from central America in 2013. My current BF is English and Polish. in 2011 I dated a Cambodian American. No racial hang ups here. I told my bf I have a thing for latin men though and that was a sorta mistake. lol
Blacks and blonds for the most part, R184.
Do you like mixed guys like me? Light brown, wavy curly hair, very handsome and has muscles. R186
I was unable to answer, R187.
Why unable? Wan to see a pic? R188
Oh, you know what, R187, the reason my answer to you was rejected is because I said I'm mainly attracted to Je wish guys. Irish or English w/dark hair, too.
The word Je wish won't post. Talk about ra cists. Oy.
Do you really want to post your picture for all of DL to behold, R189?
R190 I thought you liked blacks and blonds or is someone else answering questions of what they like too?
Does not being attracted to apes make a person a xenophobe?
LOL no but I would just to see what people think and how many guys would send pics back and my choice of possible hot hookups... lol
No, R192, the question I was asked was which ethnicities do NOT turn me on. The answer is blacks and blonds. I was curious to know what kind of racist that made me.
R192 why not blacks?
I only like white boys. Never been with anything other. Tall, white boys.
LOVE LOVE LOVE irish guys, I'm besotted with them, every one, I'm terribly ashamed.
Why only "White boys" R197
Why ask why? Why should the concept of taste not extend to those we wish to fuck? It used to, before diversity was such a buzzword. It's not a "why" question.
R200 wow you seem to have a problem with diversity.. hmmm but I was just curious. What makes a person say, "Hey I only like white guys or black guys or native guys or middle eastern guys or Asian guys." Because I don't limit my choices based on ethnicity or skin color I was wondering why some people do.
Racism is a term that is overused. Racism denotes empowering one race over others. Sexual attraction doesn't do that, at least not directly. I'm attracted to White/Latinos mostly, and a little bit of everything else, but that doesn't make me racist. I'm Latino myself. Psychology studies show a same-race bias, that is innate, so its a matter of evolutionary tendencies, and not racism.
I'm not "limiting my choices." I just know what makes my dick hard. Back in the pre-diversity days, we had these two initialisms to describe guys we wanted to fuck: TMT (Totally My Type) and NMT (Not My Type). Now, the diversity crowd wants to make those of us who have a type feel guilty because we don't want to fuck everyone equally. I don't know why it matters to you who I want to fuck (or not).
R202 uh huh. I don't by it though. And R203 ok. Was just wondering I guess because im so open to many backgrounds, ethnicities and you put a box around them. -shrugs
I don't "put a box around them." I simply don't notice them. They are not on my screen.
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