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Advice needed, getting desperate. Try to be kind.

What kind of vocational school I can go to and finish within 2 years (or sooner) that will offer me a stable career? I know nothing is guaranteed, but I need to do something with my life, and at my age (48) I don't want to do a 4 year degree. Not only that, but I have no problem admitting I'm probably not smart enough. In addition, I don't want to be saddled with that debt at this point in my life. Without going into a lot of detail. I never got a degree, and have pretty much been drifting from shit job to shit job. When I was younger, I was able to coast along on my great looks, did a few modeling jobs, had a few sugar daddies, etc. Big mistake. I wasted so many years partying, traveling, and just fucking off. In my jaded youth I thought the party would last forever. Boy, was I wrong! Well, the hens have come home to roost, and here I am. No education, no skills, spotty work history.. I know I fucked up, but all I can do now is move forward. It's hard to get hired for anything at this point, even a retail job. Especially when they see my work history is all over the place ("jack of all trades, master of none"), and I have no education. I know it's a bit late, but I want to at least have one skill so I can go out and get a real job, have a purpose, and feel like I am being productive human being. Any kind advice is appreciated. Thanks.

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