OKCupid and other dating (not hookup) sites

Thanks for starting this, OP. Also interested in other people's experiences with OKC and similar sites.

Yes would be good to hear.

Long time, happily married then my wife passed away. I'm doing ok but I want to meet someone and I think a guy would be fine. Gay friends are supportive, albeit a little suprised, but they're all coupled and they're friends. Don't plan to tell straight friends unless or until I find someone. Am trying. I'm doing what I enjoy and seeing who I meet. Maybe one of those sites could help?

I've met two nice guys on OKCupid. I tend to get vegan, outdoorsy, well-paid foodie-types.

I'm 52 and one is 32 the other 48. Both are very nice and interesting.

I've never messed around with Plenty of Fish and haven't been on Match.com in a decade, so I can't say anything about those. There might be other popular dating sites, too, that I just haven't heard about.

But I WAS on OkC for a few years and I really liked the site. You can find what you're looking for there--if you (really) want dates, you can have those. If you want sex, you can find that, too. And it's free so there's no financial risk.

I joined match in April, paid 80 bucks and the activity was lame for me. I've since been on OK cupid (for 2 weeks) and already had two dates and they were cool guys.

Good information all, thanks. I think I may try OKCupid again.

I looked at Plenty of Fish and thought it was a little overwhelming and the profiles weren't as sharp as OKC's.

There was a site called Alikewise a few years ago where you could review potential matches by the books they liked, which was interesting. It's still around, but I don't think it's very active -- a shame, because I would definitely try that.

I thought I'd bump this thread to ask if anyone has had any recent (good or bad) experiences with OKCupid or any other dating websites.

Bumparoo.

I've been on OkCupid for about 2 months and so far I've had a lot of chats, mostly messages from people who do not read the profile- they almost seem like bots, a lot of visitors and "likes". The likes are basically someone who is not in your league that doesn't want to message you because they know you're out of their league but they're hoping you'll message them. Of course that doesn't happen.

Most of the guys I meet on there are 20 years older than I am. They don't read the profile where it lists the ages I'm looking for or maybe they do but ignore it. I'd probably do the same thing if I was their age. They seem like good matches actually but I just don't get aroused with men that old.

I have yet to go on a date with anyone. It's getting close with one cat (he messaged me) that is a good bit younger than I am (8 yrs) and I don't really think we have a lot in common but Cupid ranks us a decent match 77%. But he's cute and so far, there's no other offers so.....

I've messaged some guys who were very strong matches that were in my area and I felt like we were in the same league body-wise. But they didn't write me back.

Ok. Now your turn.

One of the problems I found with OkCupid is that they show your picture to others and people can rate it. If they rate you highly, you get a notification. The problem is that they don't have your geographical info when they rate you, so you get lots of "likes" from guys who are on another coast, or far away.

In addition, because OkCupid is free it tends to attract all kinds of people. Those who are serious about dating and finding a LTR are more likely to use a paid site, such as Match.

So I guess it really depends upon what you are looking for online.

I HATE OKC. Seriously, they are like stalkers-by-phone. Their reps call, don't identify themselves and act like they're your best friend. Call at inconvenient times, day and night and ask seriously impertinent questions about your personal life. Since it *is* a dating/matchmaking service, it would be OK for them to ask about the status of your love life --- but ONLY after identifying who they are and who they represent. I've asked them at least FIVE times, nicely, to stop phoning me and they persist. Even after I told them I was in a relationship and not looking. I signed up on line, and was never told to expect phone calls like this. The people who work for OKC sound like idiotic skanks. Probably why they don't understand,'Don't call me back!'

Has anyone used OurTime? It's for the over 50 set.

Used Ourtime and seemed to find guys who wanted to re-enact some wild kind of porno thing they obviously saw on line or they wanted to pee on me. I'm not a prude, but I was, shall we say, put off by that. Dirty old pervs.

R10... what? Are you getting calls from OKC itself or from people you met on the site? I have never received a call from OKCupid, and I can't even remember a point where I would have given my phone number, either in signing up for the site or in paying for services. They don't need it. Are you sure you're not just getting random telemarketing calls?

I've been on OKCupid a few months now. Of all the dating sites out there, I still think it's the best - it has a good balance of features and a decent mobile app, it generally has the most active and largest user-base among gay men, and you're most likely to find guys who are looking for dates / LTRs rather than hookups (though don't be surprised if there's a lot of overlap between people on hookup apps and OKC).

I was not a big fan of Match at all - generally less people on there, and they charge you a lot of money just to read messages (which tend to be from the same trolls you'd find on any other site). Of course I think OKC and Match are now owned by the same company.

OKCupid is not perfect at all, and you're going to have to sift through a lot of shit to find quality dates, but it can happen. I think I've gone on more than a dozen dates from the site (out of some 100+ odd messages I received), all with generally nice guys; some that went no further than an initial cup of coffee, some went a bit longer, and while none of them worked out long-term I don't think I'd have met these guys in the first place without OKC. Think of it as a supplement for your dating / social life rather than your main source of meeting people, keep your expectations in check, and you should be fine.

I found it useless. Maybe I answered the questions too straight on and should have lied more, but never met anyone interesting, intelligent, or with a sense of humor. And definitely not sexy. The pits.

Scruff works best for me. Everything else is crap in one way or the other.

[quote]I looked at Plenty of Fish

I'm sorry, but this is a *gay* site!

Oh, and some tips from a veteran, which I think applies to a lot of dating sites and apps:

- You can safely ignore messages that just say "Hi", "Hey", "Nice profile" or similar. Chances are the guy has sent the same exact message to a whole lot of people and is just hoping for a response from someone. Low investment, low return. Messages with details that indicate he actually read your profile are more serious. The above applies unless you think the guy is hot, in which case your dignity flies out the window.

- The "Match" feature (which has similar mechanics to Tinder / Scruff and other apps that let you express interest without revealing yourself) works some of the time, but don't be surprised if there's a very low rate of follow-up even with people you "match" with. I'd say a quarter to half of "matches" actually result in a message, and even then conversations can die off really quickly. There are actually douchebags out there who "like" every single profile they see so they'll get a lot of messages and can appear to be more selective / popular than they are.

- Watch out for "catfish" profiles with fake pictures and bios; some people are just bored or want others to give them info or pics, so they'll set up an attractive profile and message or "like" you to get you to respond. The more pictures and the more details they include in their bio, the more likely they're an actual person.

- In general: you're not the only fish in the sea. Most people are having conversations with or searching for multiple guys at the same time; that's the downside of a website / app that lets you browse thousands of profiles at once. You might think someone is promising, only to have interactions cut off when he finds someone else. As in real life, you just shrug your shoulders and move on.

Sites like that are for stinkfish and their admirers. What a waste of time and money.

I'm also completely clueless as to what R10 is talking about. I haven't once been contacted by anyone associated with the site by phone. And why would you be? It's a free site!

I've tried it at various times in three different cities, and YMMV considerably depending on locale. In NYC the site attracts a ton of flakes, but then, so do all of the dating (as opposed to tricking) Web sites. I went out on numerous dates, and almost invariably the date turned out to be either disinterested or the opposite extreme of psychotically interested. (I have too many horror stories to post, but in one case I received three long text messages in the ten minutes it took me to get home -- this after a *first* date, mind you, and it was also before the smartphone era, when most people had flip phones requiring messages to be tediously typed out.)

I know online dating *can* work -- I've met nearly every guy I've ever seriously dated on one of the sites -- but it's become harder and harder to separate the wheat from the chaff. I moved back to my current city last year after a ten-year absence, and tried out OKC as well as Match.com (a paid subscription) to try and meet people. Lo and behold, about half the guys on both sites were the SAME guys I'd seen online (and in a few cases dated) a decade earlier. ALL of the guys I dated out of that particular batch were *beyond* fucked in the head, and I gather that NONE of them has had a relationship lasting more than a few weeks at most in their entire lives.

Anyway, the "newbies" on the sites (either new to town or newly out of a relationship) are almost invariably the best catches -- if and ONLY if they're over their ex, that is -- and that's who I'm dating now, a guy I met on OKC about two months ago, so let's hope it works out.

[quote]The "Match" feature (which has similar mechanics to Tinder / Scruff and other apps that let you express interest without revealing yourself) works some of the time, but don't be surprised if there's a very low rate of follow-up even with people you "match" with. I'd say a quarter to half of "matches" actually result in a message, and even then conversations can die off really quickly.

Along these lines, the "match" section on OKC in particular -- where prospective dates answer a series of question -- has proven remarkably handy in terms of eliminating guys with "dealbreakers," particularly Republicans and body fascists who won't consider dating anyone who is "even the slightest bit overweight." And no, I'm not a "fattie," but I am a foodie who cares more about eating good food that watching every morsel I put in my mouth to maintain 8% body fat.

There tends to be a lot of scammers on the site with fake pictures trying to collection personal information.

But, i have met some nice people and had some great dates and sex.

Be careful, there are trolls wanting just "cyber-sex" and others that seem, well odd.

I would rate OKCupid better than most at matching within my area though the age thing gets in the way. As an older gent, I get matched sometimes at 80% with some twink and he's looking for someone his age. So there are some misses with OK.

Be careful of those who are "gorgeous" as it will most likely be too good to be true and is a troll wanting your phone or email address and then cancel their account within minutes. Since i don't use an account associated with my name, they can have had it but just fair warning.

Have had 6 or 7 dates from OKC, with a lot more that I never followed up on. Timing is everything. Early on, I was just out of a very LTR and rusty and shy about the sex part, which ruined my chances for second or third dates. In other words, you need to be ready to fuck first and ask questions later.

Sometimes guys are intelligent, witty, sexy online, but then you meet and there's no sexual chemistry. It's awkward, but still worth a try at my age (52).

At the very least, OKC seems like a good pre-screening tool.

I'm wondering if r10 paid for some optional service and in doing so provided his phone number.

The life of a gay man is a lonely life indeed. On those dating site for years and still no relationship.

Where's the cyanide pill?

I used match.com or at least tried to. There's so few people on there in comparison to OKC. About 9 matches (city of 6 million). Easily 3 times as many on OKC.

The profile you set up on Match is really basic in comparison and judging by the lack of results with OKC with tons more people, I decided not to pay them the money. I doubt any of the matches on there had paid the money either. That's too bad because I'd gladly pay them a substantially larger finders fee if we could at least message someone.

OKC asks a lot of the right questions and it's ad supported making it low risk, especially since the odds of a finding a LTR on there are very slim. Slim in general. I don't know who all these gay men are that want to get married but every gay man I've ever met was perpetually single despite having desirable qualities and a willingness to have a relationship.

Too bad it's not more like real estate. Your realtor shows you three houses and tells you to pick one already.

I'm just chatting with someone on Scruff. No photo, sent with first message. Nice chit chat...similar work, then asked for photos, I unlocked mine (which are pretty similar to the main one) and now, radio silence.

Block.

[quote]Sometimes guys are intelligent, witty, sexy online, but then you meet and there's no sexual chemistry. It's awkward, but still worth a try at my age (52).

That was my experience on OKC (I went inactive a few months ago). Most of my interests seem atypical for a gay guy, so a lot of my online chats were with guys in other cities. It's fine but after a while you lose things to talk about unless you can actually meet the person.

The few dates I had locally on OKC were fine — actual coffee/drink/dinner dates, not hookups — but the chemistry just wasn't there. Still, no bad experiences; everyone on all sides was polite, no stalkerish behavior or drama, and there seems to be a much healthier attitude on OKC that two people can be perfectly nice "good catches" and still not hit it off. And that's OK.

I will heartily second everything r16 said and this bears repeating:

[quote] You might think someone is promising, only to have interactions cut off when he finds someone else. As in real life, you just shrug your shoulders and move on.

Always keep multiple that you're talking to or dating. Don't be surprised/hurt when the guy you really wanted finds someone else. It happens all of the time.

if youre over say, 45 dont bother the younger guys only want to date younger and the 45+ guys also only want to date younger over 50 and no one will even look at your profile most of the time or respond to a message

On OKCupid, curvy is code for fat.

[quote]On OKCupid, curvy is code for fat.

Also:

student over 40 = unemployed discrete = closeted travels a lot = married wears hats for indoor pics = bald hates cats = Nazi lawyer = narcissist kisses you goodbye = he wants you. Don't fuck this up. Have sex ASAP. He won't wait. spiritual and serious about it = humorless doesn't drink = 12-step addict

I just decided to sign up to OKCupid in London after reading this thread.

WHAT A FREAK SHOW!

GOOD GOD!

FUCKING...HELL!

Actually...just found someone...oh, no...he "prefers girls singers", Kate Bush...not for me. NO, siree. He probably loves Glenda Jackson too. Dealbreaker.

This is clearly NOT for me.

Hi...It's me again, Mr. Snarky @R31

Just found someone I really like.

Feel guilty now for being so negative, so thought I'd better post again.

He's online!

I'm frightened!

He hasn't answered any of the questions...what if he 'prefers girl singers' and LOVES Glenda Jackson?

[quote]The life of a gay man is a lonely life indeed. On those dating site for years and still no relationship.

There is something rather poignant re this.

OK Cupid is, well, OK. I've had a few dates from there and would probably have more if I put myself more out there. One thing I dislike about it is you really have to dig to find out whats a guys HIV status.

OKC membership numbers are very misleading. You can't even get onto the site to browse without creating a profile first, so naturally, everyone will create a fake profile just to look at the site before deciding to join for real.

I see the same profiles on OkC and a4a. It's like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Which makes me want a threesome

"The life of a gay man is a lonely life indeed. On those dating site for years and still no relationship.

Where's the cyanide pill?"

Miss r23 is correct. The Hershey Highway is the road to misery unless you:

are under 30 and drop dead gorgeous and/or have 10 inches or more and/or have $10 million or more.

Or are on drugs.

r37, I wrote r23 and I didn't meant to suggest that it's a miserable life. Just that it's a lonely one.

I always find myself thinking about John Ritter's character in the movie Sling Blade where he plays the lone gay retail store associate in a small town.

I could've left that part about the cyanide pill out though, that really wasn't funny to joke about.

I get a little irritated when people are always saying "it gets better" to gay boys (not that it won't for many of them) and inflate how many gay men there actually are. It's not 10% or greater. It's about 2%. I'm sorry if you think otherwise but that is the reality of the situation. If you move into the gay district of an urban area, you may have a higher concentration of gay men but that doesn't guarantee you will find it easier to find a match. It seems to make gay men be pickier with their relationships than their suburban and rural counterparts.

I also think about the gay couples that I do see and they are almost always body type mismatched.

One prominent example is Will & R.J. Google that if you don't know who they are. They seem very very happy together. They seem to have a decent amount in common. But it's pretty clear that one of them (and I'm not naming names) did not insist upon someone with comparable dimensions for a match like many of online profiles do. (Mine included)

These pictures of happy gay men in a magazine that purport to be some perfectly matched married couple is fantasyland bullshit. If you want to find someone to settle down with, you might as well cancel your gym membership because you're going to have to probably settle for an average body type for someone with a far less exciting daily routine than you were expecting. Answer some of those goddamn PMs.

Having realistic expectations and a firm grounding in actual, real life reality is very important. When you click through the topics on DataLounge discussing which closeted celebs are dating whom and why we never see who they're dating and fucking, well the reason why we never see that is because in all likelihood, they aren't dating or fucking ANYone. And if a perfect-looking multi-millionaire can't find a LTR, chances are it's not that easy.

Prior to setting up my profile on OKCupid, I accurately predicted in advance how many other listings there would be and I also accurately predicted how many good matches I would find AND, if that weren't awesome enough, I also predicted how many messages I'd receive within the first month.

It takes more of an effort. People like me need to be willing to accept people who may not be thin or be Hercules-buff or even be the same race. Or even have ANY of the same interests. Just look at straight couples. How many of THEM have any similar interests?!?! Fucking none of them! The Mrs. likes to shop and the Mr. likes to hunt. It has no bearing on happiness. None. Whatsofuckingever.

You can fall in love with people who are sexy as shit on the inside but butt-ass-fugly on the outside. And the numbers aren't on our side. Reply to those messages.

I'm through.

Er, whoa R38. I get that dating is frustrating (for everyone - think of what straight women in their 30's experience if they want to start a family), but I actually don't think things are that bleak.

First - why the assumption that all gay men want to be with some fit ideal who looks just like them (if they themselves are fit)? A lot of gay men aren't looking for a clone of themselves, and are actually turned on by difference. The most basic, crude example is tops and bottoms, but it applies to older guys into younger guys and vice-versa, more muscular guys into twinks, etc. I consider myself to be pretty fit and slender, but honestly I like guys with a bit more bulk to them and don't mind a few extra pounds - gives me more to hold onto :) So don't assume if you see two guys together of different body types that one of them "settled" for someone less than ideal, or assume that all gay men are attracted to the same thing.

Actually, one of the most refreshing things I learned (if you can call it that) was from going on a hookup app, Jack'd, which has a feature that lets you see stats on which profiles a particular guy showed interest in - average height, weight, race, etc. And I was surprised by the diversity that was revealed - some guys who looked like classic WASPs were really into short Latinos, or a tall gym-rat was really into heavier guys, etc. Everyone has their own particular attractions for who knows what reasons.

And the most important point - never, ever confuse dating sites or hookup apps with the entirety of the "real world". They are a small subset of the world. I have run into a few gay men I know in real life on them, but the majority I have not. Most of the gay men I know I met through things like school, or parties, or activities, or friends of friends, etc. Just because you strike out or have a bad run on dating apps does not mean there aren't still plenty of available men out there, but you do have to get out to meet them in person.

And online interactions are always going to be more shallow, dehumanizing, and even misleading than encountering people in real life. I've met guys who looked amazing online who weren't all that in person, and vice versa. One of the guys I dated first messaged me on OKCupid, but then stopped responding after a message or two. I forgot about him, but later we met in person by chance, through friends of friends, and he couldn't ask me out quickly enough. Same with another guy who only glanced at my profile online, but when I ran into him at a party asked for my number then and there. OKCupid and other sites are good for supplementing your social life to meet people you might not run into (and for providing extra info you might not learn early on - "ugh, that cute guy's a rabid right-winger!"), but you should still live your life and get out there.

I mean, I still think your advice is good - keep your expectations in check, don't always prejudge others or assume you're not a match because of your preconceived notions of who you're meant to be with, and be open to stretching yourself and meeting people you might not otherwise meet - you might be pleasantly surprised. But also don't think you have to "settle" for someone you just don't feel any attraction to because you think the world is limited to a dating site and there's no one else available, and end up meeting people you have no real interest in - it's a waste of everyone's time, and honestly they deserve better.

I think I found a keeper. Someone who is kind, sweet, and very genuine. Out of 5 matches i took seriously and dated, he's the one left standing. All were good fucks but he's the one i can talk to and stand after the fuck.

I hope this works out for the long term. The key is expectations. That is, the correct expectations. I'm 53, fit fat, I can begin to notice I'm balding a bit and I'm not rich. So that counts out the 25 year old twinks and muscle jocks.

My profile seeks within a 10 year age range of my age. So far they've been younger than me (within the range though) but all nice. But this one, well, I feel it could be something special so I'm taking is slow and sucking him hard. We're dating, actually going out and doing things and he's interesting and fun. And yes, we fuck like rabbits. But we actually like each other after we clean up the cum.

"The life of a gay man is a lonely life indeed. On those dating site for years and still no relationship."

It's not just gay men. There are plenty of lonely people out there, both straight and gay, both male and female.

But I would never seek companionship through an online dating service no matter how I lonely I got. I'm not brave enough to do it. I've heard of so many online relationships that turned out to be total disasters that I would never want to risk it.

OK why are all these 53 year olds (specifically 53- what is up with that age?) horny as a bat from hell?

r39, my assumption (I'm r38) comes from reading the profiles where people who are fit don't want anyone outside of their body type. I have always dated larger and for once I'd like to date a thin, twinkish build such as myself. There's not many of us left after 30.

[quote]And the most important point - never, ever confuse dating sites or hookup apps with the entirety of the "real world". They are a small subset of the world. I have run into a few gay men I know in real life on them, but the majority I have not. Most of the gay men I know I met through things like school, or parties, or activities, or friends of friends, etc. Just because you strike out or have a bad run on dating apps does not mean there aren't still plenty of available men out there, but you do have to get out to meet them in person.

The problem is once you're no longer in school, you don't meet guys in school any more. Welcome to the real world.

And once you're in your career, most people don't have very many or any gay guys in the work place. Welcome to the real world.

Parties? There will come a time where you're too old for those then what? Welcome to the real world.

Friends? Friends of friends? I can tell you're a youngun so don't let the following newsflash scare the shit out of you... but eventually those hags... all of them... will get married and settle down and move to the suburbs and they're not going to fix you up with any guys. They're not going to hang out with you either. After all, they have to be home by 9 to tuck in the kids. Welcome to the real world. You can forget about it.

I keep mentioning that I'm in a city of 6 million people and it's very sobering when I go to the gay district of the city and the overwhelming majority of people I see are young straight couples walking around with their kids. Welcome to the .... wait for it... The Real World!

About the only thing left is to go to the bars and when you're a working stiff and you don't live near the bars, that becomes a major pain in the ass, not to mention expensive and not very effective either.

So here we are almost a month after my last post and I've stopped checking in to OKC and sending out messages. I quit. I'm not doing that any more. I've found a decent number of good matches, I've had a shit load of messages from people in other cities out of state saying we'd be great and we probably would judging by their profile but as far as back here at home, I've send out lots of messages only to have the messages read, the profile checked out and no reply. It's heart breaking. I can't take that any longer. From now on, they can come to me and make the first move. Until then, I give up.

Life of a gay man... a lonely, frustrating life indeed.

R42 Your situation is not uncommon for any middle-aged single person regardless of gender or orientation. OKC is problematic because it flattens the dating pool and you find yourself at the wedding feast during Freaks, one of us, one of us, one of us. It's weird and frustrating, but there's magic in possibility.

I was on OKC for a while about a year ago. I really was not that impressed. For one thing, most of the guys in my area was the same ones I would see floating around A4A or Manhunt. Second, I was really surprised at the number of men who claim to have a college education but also think creationism is a valid topic for a science classroom. I would get messages from guys, check out their profile and clearly see we have nothing in common.

Well, this thread is sobering.

[quote]'m not doing that any more. I've found a decent number of good matches, I've had a shit load of messages from people in other cities out of state saying we'd be great and we probably would judging by their profile but as far as back here at home, I've send out lots of messages only to have the messages read, the profile checked out and no reply. It's heart breaking. I can't take that any longer. From now on, they can come to me and make the first move. Until then, I give up.

r42, one thing I've found about OKCupid is that while the questions are interesting, it's too easy to read something negative when nothing was intended.

"Do you like dogs and/or cats?" -- I am an animal nut, but when I come across a profile that basically says "I don't like them" or "I can take or leave them," I hesitate.

Conversely, my music tastes are out of the (gay) mainstream -- and while I don't need to share my musical tastes with a partner, I imagine there are some who look at my favorite music and movies and think, "I've never even heard of that. We really have nothing in common."

In person, I fell in love with someone who enjoyed role-playing card games and science fiction (my ex of 11 years), but if I saw his interests on OKCupid (and vice versa) we likely never would have contacted each other.

That's not being shallow; it's just going by common interests, but often those aren't the things that make two people click.

It's difficult and I'm not quite sure how to get around it in an online dating service.

[quote] Out of 5 matches i took seriously and dated, he's the one left standing. All were good fucks but he's the one i can talk to and stand after the fuck.

5 fucks? Congratulations! Am also 53-ish, fit-fat, but have all hair and enough wealth. But no fucks for me. When I started, I didn't take the hints (tongue down throat on first meeting)I should have been ready to take him home. Coulda had maybe 3. That might have led to second or third dates. Am in a slump lately in that the last "matches" I've met just weren't into me (and often it's mutual even though I try to keep my expectationslow). I think I need to take more risks and be more aggressive.

Am excited that you may have found someone for the long-term; plwase give updates here -- and still harder head for your beau.

(-I wrote 42 and some others in this thread-) I actually think Cupid asks some really good questions that are conducive to finding a good match. The questions about books and movies aren't really about matching people though. Those are more for a conversation-starter or ice breaker when you send out a message you can say something like, I love your taste in music and that band is great or that was my favorite move too or something like that. But the actual questions are where I do think it paints a fairly good picture of what you're getting.

There are matches that are good (80%+) that I have gone and looked at their profile and they do seem like good matches and the higher they are matched, the more I can see myself spending the rest of my life with them. They're like another ME. When I look at the profiles that aren't very good matches (less than 70%), it becomes very apparent that we would probably be at each other's throats in a very short amount of time and have nothing in common. They're usually rightwingers and ultra religious dog-haters that smoke and do drugs.

So when I find a really good match, I had been enthusiastically writing to people, even if they didn't give me an instant boner, thinking they would realize there aren't really that many of us to choose from and want to maybe see where things led but nope.

Still no messages since my last posting on here although I did get some looky lous and high ratings (those are people who like you but know they don't have a chance with you)

I'm just under 30 and already sick of this dating thing, on apps, on OKCupid, everywhere. I'm a short-ish Asian guy, fairly cute in a boyish way, and it's almost impossible to find anyone interested, unless they have an obedient young Asian twink fetish, or are way too old for me and/or are definitely unattractive.

And because this question might be in your head: no, I'm not just looking for white guys.

Unfortunately, I don't have particularly masculine physical features. I'm intelligent and witty and funny, but it's like none of this matters. Tried to find something positive to smile about but honestly, Fuck this. I can do better.

The founder of eHarmony totally creeps me out in his television commercials.

Was on Plenty of Fish. Waste of time. Match sends bogus winks when u refuse to renew a membership. They are all the same guys on each site. Grindr = closeted under 28. Same stuck up guys but pics sporting beards is Scruff. MH = Discreet married guys. I would have to say the friendliest guys are on Growlr. I have met friends to socialize with. U might like one of there friends. That is the way to do it. My problem is meeting uneducated idiots who have no life outside gay world. Many act lIke over acting housewives just waiting to be slighted in some way.

Every time I hear that e harmony guy's voice I want to scream. He still does those commercials 100 years later and they play 100 times per hour on every channel. IT HAS TO END!

I created an OKC profile last xmas when I was visiting a friend out of state.

Then when I got back to my hometown, the site wouldn't let me login anymore; it just says try again later, site experiencing difficulties. Googled it and found that this was code for "someone in your neighborhood with a similar ISP address got reported for being a troll and now you and everyone in your area are also blocked automatically by our bots."

I tried sending a msg to the admins to get permission to login again but I'm sure no human ever read my request. It sucks because I'm in a fairly small town, pretty isolated, and OKC seems to have the largest pool of potential matches with no hoops to jump thru...if you can login 😒

Was on OkC for a number of years and not too serious about it. Lots of likes and messages over the course of that time. A few dates here and there but nothing that ever panned out into something meaningful. Then one day I was messaged by a guy who was a good match percentage. We chatted a bit, hit it off. We lived in adjacent cities and decided to meet up for a date.

That was two years ago. He's truly become the love of my life and we've just gotten engaged. I can't imagine going through the rest of my life without him and I'm thankful everyday for OkC helping us find each other.

OK Cupid was fun, but mostly for the personality tests. Anyone remember the Would You Have Been a Nazi Test? I only corresponded with very few people, and never for a long period of time. Certainly never met anyone there and don't really remember anyone specifically. Could have been because there were so few registered European users.

r55, if you're European, try using planetromeo.com (aka gayromeo) and/or gaydar.net

Yes, they put the hook up aspect front and center, but not only. Lots of people there looking for LTR as well.

I like OkC because it reminds you to reply with 'write a lovely message..'.so it keeps you in check and holds the bitch back

I’ve been seeing lately a lot of gay guys using Plenty of Fish to pull “straight” men. There must be some catfishery involved, but with the demise of CL personals, perhaps this is an option.

OKC is a full tilt freak show. Given that it's free, it attracts a lot of losers. You might find a gem or two in their midst, but you have to wade through a lot of garbage to find them.

I had two "dates" from OKC. The first was this odd guy who wouldn't tell me anything of a personal nature - not what part of town he lived in, what he did for work. No talk about family and only the most general discussions of interests and hobbies. We went on 2 dates. At the end of the 2nd, I emailed him that I wouldn't be interested in more dates if he didn't open up more about himself. Of course that was the end of him.

The second guy was a complete freak show. Started out normal enough, went on a few dates. No sex - he said he was taking things slow. I humored him. Then he told me the story of how his last boyfriend got deported to Mexico, killed somebody there and got sentenced to many years' Mexican prison. And that he visited the guy in prison twice a month. And then he was hired by some Mexican drug smugglers he met in Mexican prison, and started smuggling drugs back to the U.S. on his return trips. This lasted less than 6 months until he got arrested. He only got 5 months in Federal prison. So anyway, I was sorta turned off of OKC after that. That, and because I found out my coworkers would log in with fake profiles and try to catfish coworkers they found on there.