The playoff beard tradition is most unfortunate for a sport that needs all the help it can get for the TV audience. But if you ignore the beards, here are the four hottest players on the four remaining teams in the playoffs.
For Pittsburgh - Sidney Crosby, James Neal, Matt Cooke, and Paul Martin
For Boston - Tyler Sequin, Carl Soderberg, Dougie Hamilton, and Matt Bartkowski
For Chicago - Patrick Sharp, Andrew Shaw, Patrick Kane, and Brent Seabrook
For Los Angeles - Dustin Brown, Jonathan Quick, Jeff Carter, and Mike Richards
Zdeno Chara looks like he would handle your size queen needs, OP.
Go kings go!
My baby bear Dustin "tripod" Brown will raise the cup again!
Chara is not on the list R1.
My guess is that Soderberg, Hamilton, Sharp, and Brown probably have the biggest.
I've heard the same thing about Dustin Brown R2. He is rumored to indeed be a tripod.
He's been seen more then once, at the back of local interviews in the locker Room, coming out of the showers.
Video of Dustin Brown's cock in locker room.
R5, in the video clip, Dustin Brown looks maybe 5 inches soft. It is certainly hanging and it is soft. I have a feeling that it is a grower as well. Definitely some sizemeat there!
He would tear that ass up!
Canadian straight guys are less uptight about nudity...
Dougie Hamilton, OP? He has 'tard face - looks a bit "special." I quite like Andrew Ference, he's very hot.
I know Sid's ass is the undisputed champion of enormity, but do any of these other guys have big asses?
R11 Toews' ass is quite big and firm.
R7 I'm curious to know why you think that. Does he ping? His taste in women is questionable, but if he is gay, he should find better beards. Just saying.
Also, can anyone with a functioning gaydar tell me if Crosby might be gay?
OP, you chose Matt Cooke over Letang? smh
R14, do you know me? My last choice for Pittsburgh was between Cooke and Letang. Believe me, I'd gladly let Letang fuck me as well.
R13, I think Crosby pings. But we need to hear from a gay that lives in Pittsburgh and is around the team.
R10, Dougie's pic on the Bruins website isn't all that good. But if you have seen some of the recent interviews with him on the NHL Network, then you would know the pic doesn't do him justice. Bending over for Dougie as I type!
I find Patrick Kane sexy in a trashy redneck sort of way, but he probably shouldn't be listed as one of the hottest Blackhawks. And I don't see the attraction of Shaw at all.
Your Blackhawks list really should have included Viktor Stalberg. Maybe also Marcus Kruger. I also find Marian Hossa kind of hot in a Boris Becker sort of way.
R17 . . . we must be around the same age because I know what you mean by "kind of hot in a Boris Becker sort of way."
I admit, I just needed to be slapped viciously for leaving out Viktor Stalberg. I don't know what I was thinking. I am now removing Patrick Kane from my list (even though I agree with your red neck hotness angle).
But I have to keep Andrew Shaw on my list. I love the bad boys. I'll take bad boy sexy over red neck sexy. Thus Kane is removed.
R15 Haha! Sorry, I just wouldn't pick Cooke at all. Letang and Nealer are hot though.
Crosby is a conundrum. Reckon he might be gay and his team must know.
R16 All I've heard is that he has (or had) a girlfriend and loves cats!
I swear to God I heard the NBC Sports Network hockey commentator say, "Patrick Kane loves to put it in deep."
I swear to God he said it.
R21 He probably does, lol! The guy sure has a reputation.
Tyler Seguin? Are you kidding? He looks like Eddie Munster. He's also a homophobe.
I want to suck Patrick Kane's cock so bad right now.
Sidney totally choked. The closet is bad for quality.
Cause all the hard working whites would move to Texas and leave the welfare mooching minorities in NY, IL and California.
R24 I'm sure he's getting a celebratory bj from someone.
R23 Didn't he get propositioned by a gay guy on twitter and then posted it online?
Get in line R24, get in line!
Announcement - There's also a line forming to give Dustin "Tripod" Brown a blow job to console him in the King's loss.
So somehow I criminally ignored him earlier because his Blackhawks mug shot has him with a horrible buzzcut, but I think Niklas Hjalmarsson is pretty adorable too. See below.
Is anyone hot on the Bruins? And is Jaromir Jagr still rocking the mullet?
Ask Jonathan Toews what it's like to suck Patrick Kane's cock!
Is anyone else amused by the celebrations after a goal, or even moreso a win? It's a friggin bro man-hug festival, I think I even saw a guy kiss anothers forehead or helmet. I teased another male hockey fan about this , and he got stern and said not to make fun.
Toews looks "special."
Kane is actually good, but you'd not know it from last night when he was more intent on scrapping.
R34 Better Kane than that trashy hooker girlfriend.
Toews is a weird case. Sometimes I think he looks hideous but other times he's kind of attractive.
Like in the picture below he has a bit of tan and isn't as pasty so he looks good. Other times he looks all pale and beady-eyed and it's gross.
Game 2 Tonight!
I have decided that Johnny Oduya deserves more credit in this thread.
Because it's not every day you come across a Swede with a Kenyan name who looks just like Lenny Kravitz except with a better physique... who also has the funnest last name in hockey.
I have returned!
Though I don't find him sexy, I agree with R44 that Johnny "I'll Do Ya" has the best name in all of hockey.
I'd easily let Jonathan Toews do me. He does look more sexy with a little tanning.
But still, I want Andrew Shaw to fuck me hard and rough.
Ultimate Stanley Cup "party" would be Viktor Stalberg, Jonathan Toews, Andrew Shaw (to bring the rough), Patrice Bergeron, Torey Krug, and Tyler Seguin. All beardless, of course.
I'm not a hockey whore, am I?
R45, what do you think of Crosby?
My thoughts on Crosby . . .
He can speak for himself. Hint: He is R7 and R42
Of course, Crosby could fuck me too but he and his teammates and coach are way, way too busy choking again in the playoffs.
Oduya is hella fine
R47 do you think he's 'family'? Does he have a certain tell or vibe?
Anything on Jeff Carter and Mike Richards? Their bromance makes me believe they are not entirely straight.
Canada is a strange place these days.
Hockey is becoming very accepting of Gays but Figure Skating has kicked them all out. The opposite of what you would think would happen.
I've always had a theory that all Canadian men are, at minimal, bisexual. Just saying.
So sad for my Blackhawks that Hossa could not play tonight. I fear my Boris Beckerish love may have been concussed in game 2.
And Patrick Kane's mullet/beard combo has just gotten so out of control at this point that it's going past redneck sexy into Groundskeeper Willie territory I fear.
R51 The problem is that Skate Canada is run by conservative Christian fanatics who have no regard for the sport. I highly doubt that people who come to watch male skaters would object to them being gay. And new fans wouldn't suddenly become interested in skating because they've been told that Elvis Stojko is straight *eyeroll*
On the other hand, the NHL fanbase might have a problem with a gay player, but the organisation wouldn't care that much. I mean, honestly, do you think other owners wouldn't want Crosby or Toews on their teams if the were gay?
Well there's also the whole Brian Burke saga in the NHL that brings more tolerance into play.
I remember when the Blackhawks won the Cup last time one of them brought the Cup to the Pride parade.
That was Brent Sopel and they got rid of him immediately.
Hawks up 3-2 now, although they did not play that well tonight.
Brent Sopel was traded to Atlanta June 23, 2010. He brought the Stanley Cup to Chicago Gay Pride June 27, 2010.
Is Toews injured or not? Fucking Bruins.
And now Sopel is out of the NHL entirely. The NHL has a long road to real acceptance still to travel!
R60 do you think the two are somehow related? I mean, him being at the parade and not being in the NHL?
Congratulations to the Chicago Blackhawks and all their big cocked players.
Still holding out that we get to see some cock in the Blackhawks locker room
Ok, ok, Jonathan!!! I know I've been resisting your advances, but yes, tonight, i will kiss you and suck your cock until you are drained or until the sun comes up, whichever comes last!
Toews spent about five seconds with his "girlfriend" but his hands were all over his male friends, especially that shorter one.
Duncan Keith sounds like a Christo-nutjob. Oh well. Kane thinks he is above it all.
The Shaw family were great. They said they only got four tickets to the game in Boston, so the rest of them showed up at a sports bar in Chicago.
A big yawn to r64's post. Why shouldn't Toews celebrate with his teammates, since their combined effort won them a championship?
Not a locker room but Michael Frolik got close to showing it off during his post-Cup celebration
As for Brent Sopel, him being traded by the Blackhawks had nothing to do with him showing support for gays (as folks mentioned the parade appearance was AFTER he was traded) but was because the Blackhawks had no money under the salary cap to keep the players from that team so had to let go of their goalie and trade like 6 or 7 others to sign players with cheaper contracts.
And as for the idea that his support for gays got him out of the NHL... um no. The dude is 36 years old. He got older and his play deteriorated like most players do when they get older.
Goalee Cam Ward skated during Hurricanes practice today.
There is always an apologist for homophobia (see R68)
Evander Kane is fine
I don't think R68 is an apologist for homophobia, R75. Brent Sopel was below a replacement level defenseman, and he was old (for hockey). After Chicago won the Cup, half the team was traded away for salary cap reasons.
Brent Sopel was at Gay Pride as a *representative* the Blackhawks organization. 2010 was the year Brendan Burke died in a car accident, and the Cup's appearance at Gay Pride was a show of respect both to Brendan's memory, and to his father, Brian Burke.
Not saying that there isn't lots of homophobia at all levels of organized hockey, though. Homophobia and misogyny are intrinsic to hockey culture, it's disgusting.
Evander Kane could get it
Hockey - meh.
Hockey ass - yay!!
Funny, I don't remember seeing any Black Hawks in the 2014 parade now that Sopel has been purged from the league.
R80, they wouldn't go. I doubt the closet-cases on the team would go anyways. Do closet-cases go to Pride Parades?
But, I don't think Brent Sopel was let go because he participated in the Pride parade. He's 36 years old.
If he was let go for it, which I doubt, then boycott the NHL. Hurt them financially. Sports in America are turning into a corrupt business anyways.
[quote]Toews spent about five seconds with his "girlfriend" but his hands were all over his male friends, especially that shorter one.
Those two, Toews and the girl, constantly fight. That's all they do. 98% of their relationship is fighting. They also have zero chemistry. I do think that they are more "friends" who are drama-filled more so than boyfriend and girlfriend.
Toews girlfriend is a straight boy's wet dream. Bit tits, blonde hair, fake tan, low IQ. I can't see why he would be dating her for any reason other than sex. He's probably willing to put up with the drama/fighting for the sexual pay off.
I know someone who was invited to his Stanley Cup party at his cabin on Lake of the Woods. Apparently he is a pretty low key and modest person; his girlfriend is supposedly like velcro and loves the booze.
You're right, Jonathan is a very nice guy. He's actually very quiet. His girlfriend gets wasted at parties. He's apologized for her numerous times. You could be right about the sex. But, they have broken up a few times. But, they have been together off and on for a few years now.
Most of Canada was actually dry before WWII but now they are all alkies
has anyone noticed ben smith of the blackhawks? appears to be the ideal golden boy! his ass is INCREDIBLE!!!
R83 I don't get why Toews would choose to date her despite everything. He could find a drama-free girl who's great in bed and actually looks her age. I mean she looks really old (must be all the booze and drugs), has fake tits and is a huge slut. This really puzzles me.
Come on Caps!
Brent Sopel never had a mega-salary, therefore "salary cap" is not a legitimate explanation for his being let go.
Brent Sopel is STRAIGHT. His wife ran onto the ice when the Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup and practically fell over in her 6 inch patent leather WHITE Louboutins. She is pure trash and a completely typical hockey wife. She actually had a blog for a while about her life as an "NHL Wife". Brent Sopel was a SHITTY hockey player, that's why he didn't get a contract. SHITTY. He probably took the Cup to Gay Pride because his trashy wife was eager for photo ops. Brent Sopel has the IQ of a cantaloupe. That is all.