I'm at my wit's end, so I'm going to hire a rentboy
Help me, DLers. My life is shit right now for reasons way too numerous to get into. As an act of rebellion and sexual adventure, I've decided to purchase a hottie from rentboy.com, and I need your help in picking one out.
Here is my criteria for him:
Los Angeles, really good body, versatile or bottom, safe sex only, non-smoker, open to anal.
I don't care about his age, and I'm not looking for total tops.
And yeah I know, good luck getting STDs, yada yada yada.
Please help by posting links to LA rentboys.
Hmmm, let me flip through my binder. How young is too young?
What ethnicity do you want? Do you leant him to be hairy or smooth?
I tend to go for white or latino mostly. Hairy, smooth, or anywhere in between is fine with me.
Go to the linked review site and choose someone with recent good reviews. Also a good way to avoid a "sting" operation.
You live in L.A. and you're having trouble finding a whore? Most people in L.A. have trouble avoiding them.
Seriously, in LA, just go to the grocery store, a coffee shop, wherever you go during your day, and offer some guy you're really attracted to enough money. He'll go home with you.
R6 - are you being facetious? Wouldn't someone be insulted if I did exactly that (and they weren't a whore?)
R7, I'm being partially facetious. When I lived in LA, it was easier to get laid than to not get laid. That's quite some time ago, admittedly, but accurate nonetheless. Anyway that's mostly what I was thinking about.
But then I remembered twice when men offered to have sex with them, and I politely declined. Each one then offered me money. Each time it was in a non-pickup environment: once in a restaurant, once in a grocery store. I mean, it's not that big a deal, really.
Oh, and I made a date with one of them for later. The other, well, it would have taken a lot more than money to get my dick hard (I could never have been an escort).
You don't need to do this, OP. Find a nice guy who will like you for you.
I know I have my rolodex somewhere ...
All your problems will be solved, OP!
One fall I was kind of bored and had some extra cash, and the internet -- well, AOL -- had just happened. I decided I was going to try paying for sex.
It was exactly like not paying for sex. Out of four, I really only liked one of them. One distorted his picture in such a way, it looked nothing like him; another had "the biggest dick in _____" but he was so drunk, it lay there like a geoduck in Pike Place Market; the other decided he didn't want to be an escort and could he please just give me a massage; only one provided me with what I wanted: perfect, loving (even if I was paying for it) sex that went on for hours, that he enjoyed as much as I did.
I should have called him back, but I was afraid of getting hooked on a hooker. Easily top five of my entire life. I have no idea how to find him. He's gone.
Just like real life.
When you have sex with someone you have sex with everyone else they've ever hooked up with. Think of all the gross people who've had to pay for it before you. You prostitution whoreeeeeee
[quote]I eat Mommy's ass because at least I know the only person she has had sex with is Daddy, and the only people he's had sex with is Mommy and me.
OP, because you'll probably have to talk with him before, during or after, pick one who knows that "criteria" is a plural, so that you can learn a little something in the bargain.
[quote] Wouldn't someone be insulted if I did exactly that (and they weren't a whore?)
It's LA, for fuck's sake. Everybody's a whore. How you compensate them for their services is a different story.
r9, you made a date with someone that offered money to have sex with you. You went out with him for free. That is disgusting.
I'd have more respect for you if you took the money. Who wants to be with a slim like that.
Try to find one who's also a stand-up comic: then you'll really be able to say you're at wit's end!
Oh, I took the money, R18. And then some.
Funny story. He ruined my bed dropping a bottle of poppers on it on our second date, so I had him buy me a new one.
OP, you use Rentboy to find hot tops. No one pays for a bottom. You cab get them anywhere for free.
Get a blog.
R20, do not try to dine out on that story; it's not funny, or even interesting.
[quote]the other decided he didn't want to be an escort and could he please just give me a massage
Ouch is right! Turned down by an escort you're paying, that's got to be the worse.
OP, it's "wits' end."
It's not about your losing your wit, silly. It's about you losing your wits, or at least reaching their limits.
Please. If you're not going to be careful about your self-diagnosis, how can we trust you with achieving the kind of empty, meaningless, ultimately unpleasurable experience at which you're aiming yourself?
[quote] that's got to be the worse.
OMG, r13! That's hilarious/sad/beautiful. Could be a 4-act play.
[quote]You live in L.A. and you're having trouble finding a whore? Most people in L.A. have trouble avoiding them.
Absolutely hysterical. When I lived in L.A., there was one on every corner, literally. I remember parking my car one night in Hollywood, and before I knew it a whore had stepped in and sat down. "Hi baby, wanna party?" "Um, I was parking. In front of my house." "Oh, no problem, you have a good night now." I moved.
R23, do you even [italic]have[/italic] a story to contribute?
R24 and R25. I know what you mean. He told me it was because I was "such a nice guy," he "felt comfortable blah, blah, blah," telling me he couldn't do it, but it did hurt at the time.
However, I wasn't any more attracted to him than he was to me. Truth be told, I would have regretted paying him for the full meal. He was a good, not excellent, masseur, and if that's as good of a fuck he would have been, he really shouldn't be in the escort business.
Except I'd find him again in the end in a play, R28. And that'll never happen.
He was the reason I got started with the whole escort-renting thing. In his AOL profile, he said he looked like Montgomery Clift, and I had become infatuated with how easy AOL made it to meet people all of a sudden, so I just said "Montgomery Clift? Who cares if I have to pay him?"
He didn't look like Monty. He was taller, more Italian or Jewish looking. He looked like a cross between James Franco and the guy who hit Donna on the original 90210, Jamie Something. Utterly bewitching.
I had given him some instructions on how to approach me, how to treat me, and he was like a really good actor, giving you the performance you've asked for.
And when someone like that hits his mark, it's just terribly convincing. He acted like someone who was in love with me. So good looking. Such a nice, big dick.
When we were done, he told me he wanted to come back. We never discussed whether it would be on a paid basis, but I assumed so and never called him again.
Instead, I thought if paying for sex is this productive, let's try some others. I tried three more, all losers. I should have called Jason four times. But I was so afraid of falling in love with someone who probably only wanted to have sex with me for money.
So I never saw him again.
Boy meets whore. Boy loses whore. Boy gets whore in the end.
That was Jamie Walters on 90210. Teen idol for about a week.