"First World Problems" that don't exist anymore...
"I bought the CD because I loved the single, but the rest of the album is crap!"
"Blockbusters already rented their copy of "Groundhog Day", and there's no other way to see it!
"I want to listen to my music when I go running, but my discman keeps skipping!"
"I want some privacy on this call, but the phone cord doesn't stretch far enough!"
"I have this school report due, but the library is closed!"
"I'm afraid to call them, because what if their mom or dad answers first?"
"I want to use the internet, but someone else is on the phone!"
"I want to know the lyrics to that song I just heard... but the booklet in the front of the CD case only has pictures of the band and writing credits!"
"The economy is so strong, I can't decide which job offer to take after college!"
"My TV Guide didn't come this week, so I don't know what's on my TV right now!"
"My discman"??? Are you writing from the year 2002?
R1, do you not understand the premise of this thread?
The phone company is charging me extra for an unlisted number.
I'm so horny but I don't feel like going all the way to the bath house tonight!
I only call people in my area code, otherwise I have to pay long distance charges.
Damn video store keeps charging me a $1 rewinding fee! I don't fucking have time for this rewinding shit!
Shoot! I forgot the bank closes early on a Friday--now I don't have any money for the weekend!
I can't wait to meet my honey at the gate in the airport. I love seeing his as he walks up the corridor. But there are so many other people waiting too...
So apparently the department store's just been dumping out credit card carbon slips and not properly disposing them!!! What are we gonna do now that our credit card numbers were compromised???!
I hate my job as a file clerk.
I keep getting a busy signal!
There are so many hot teen dudes down at Sears bathroom in the afternoon, I don't have time to suck them all.
Oh no Suzie left already, now I have to wait until she arrives at her destination to call her with this important information!
Ugh get me a pencil. My damn Walkman just ate my mix tape again.
I hope this hotel has vacant rooms. I hope the rooms are nice and that they don't charge a lot. I hope they have a Yellow Pages in the drawer because I don't know any restaurants in this town.
"If we get cut off it's because my iPhone's battery is low."
"Shit, I lost the piece of paper with the guy's number."
Damn the Xerox is down again. How am I going to distribute this important memo?
[quote]I can't wait to meet my honey at the gate in the airport. I love seeing his as he walks up the corridor. But there are so many other people waiting too...
I have to confess I don't know what this is referring to.
The needle on my phonograph is so dull. All my music is gonna sound like crap.
I have to drive down to the post office so I can xerox these tax returns and mail them before midnight!
r19, before 9/11 you could walk through the airport and meet people at the gate.
R19 You used to be able to meet people at the gate. Now they don't let you into an airport without a ticket.
Oh no! A fuse blew, and we don't have any more! I hope I can find a penny to use instead.
I'm out of Wite-Out!!
R19, when was the last time you met an arrival at the gate, or waited at the gate with someone before they boarded the plane?
Oh no! It's after 6:00 PM -- there isn't a gas station open anywhere!
"I have to go to a store for porn"
I can't believe I'm the first one that's thought of this one!
[quote][R19], when was the last time you met an arrival at the gate, or waited at the gate with someone before they boarded the plane?
Maybe s/he doesn't remember a gentler time, before 9/11 Changed Everything.
The Voice of the Night
There's so much good music on the radio, I can't decide which station to leave it on.
R28 My favorite porn is playing at the theater but I am too embarrassed to be seen going there.
I walked up to the pay-phone, but someone had stolen the phone book!
I've got to abort this baby, but I don't have any wire hangers!
Tell the travel agent that when she books our plane tickets, I want to sit in the smoking section! Also, I want the pasta!
Can I borrow a Subway token?
I had a flat tire out in the country and had to walk 15 miles to get help.
I'm taking the first Concorde flight out of London tomorrow morning. Here's the thing: do I have breakfast in the lounge before takeoff, or eat on the plane, because by the time I arrive in Manhattan they'll still be serving breakfast!
Sadly if R36 was in Toronto he'd be handed one.
Sure, I like to read, but this town only has one book store, and who has time to go there and buy books?
I won't know if I took the perfect picture of the sunset until two weeks from now when the photos come back from the developer.
R39 We still have them in LA too.
I'm so jealous of the rich people that have cell phones!
I surfed through all the television channels and there was nothing worth watching.
I can't remember the name of the actor in my favorite movie!!!
And what other movies was he in?!?
Thank goodness those undesirables go to their own school.
The TV listings in the for the Late Late movies n the paper just says "Movies 'Til Dawn"--no further details. Now I have to sneak out to the family room and watch all night, in case I miss something great. Tomorrow in class I'll be exhausted.
All my catalogs are last season. I wish I had new ones so I could order stuff now.
Dammit! It's going to take forever for my dinner to heat up in the oven!
I'm tired of having to get up off the couch and change the TV channel!
I LOVE shopping at Walmart! Sam Walton only sells goods made in America!
My pussy stinks, and no one knows why
R42, we do too
"I have to confess I don't know what this is referring to.
Not long ago one could meet and greet at the gate at the airport, I always remember meeting people as they deboarded, people even met on the Tarmac security was so much looser
I have the hardest time trying to decipher this damn map and drive at the same time.
Yikes! It' time to get another perm. Better call JCPenney's to schedule an appointment.
Off topic but I will never understand posters like R52 who have obviously read as far as the post he quotes from but couldn't be bothered to read any further to see that the question has already been answered TWICE. Talk about a first world problem that will never go away. I guess it was on topic.
Help me think of a clever outgoing message for my answering machine. Everyone I know has such a good message, with music or with their little kids telling you to leave your name and number. I want a good, long outgoing message, too.
I wish I could take a picture of my tuna salad sandwich and post it on a global billboard for all to see so my friends will know what I had for lunch.
I wonder if this pillow is really muffling the sound of this modem. Mom can never know I am up at 2am jacking off to male model newsgroups.
If I start downloading these three pics before my class starts, will they be done by the time I get back from class to jo before my roommate gets back?
I got fucked so many times at the bathhouse this weekend, but that's not what worries me because it's not like I could get pregnant or anything! It's that I kissed so many of them and now I just hope I didn't catch a cold. I'll be so mad at myself!
Thank god for the Pill. I'll never have to use condoms again.
I really want a mocha flavored latte but the gas station only has regular coffee.
Are people just not seeing the "that don't exist anymore..." part of the title of the thread? I'm looking at you r61.
Do you know how to read? I'm betting you don't, R62.
I can read R63, but I am totally not getting your point. Please explain.
What a drag it is retyping my essays after I edit them with red ink, White-Out, scissors, and tape. I've already typed two drafts of this one, and now I'm on my third revision.
Oh no. I'm out of typewriter ribbon.
r62 I was referring to the "olden days" when there were no Starbucks...and if you wanted a cup of coffee on the road you had to get the burnt crap gas station coffee. Now, even gas stations have lattes and mocha drinks, albeit shitty ones.
I went to Musicland today to get a new album, but they didn't have the one I wanted in stock.
But there are still plenty of gas stations that have just regular coffee or no coffee at all to make your example confusing R62. So one's ability to read or not has nothing to do with understanding your poorly chosen example.
r61 is right. Most places I buy cofee has different kinds...
I can't wait. In 5 years What's Up Doc will be on TV...
I loved Star Wars! I can't wait until it comes back to theaters in three years so I can see it again!
I hate that I can't use my typewriter at night because the neighbor downstairs will complain. Changing the ribbon is a pain as well.
It takes forever for this stupid dot matrix printer to print out my document. And every once in a while the paper jams.
And I hate peeling off those sprocket holes!
That boy's shorts are so damn tight and short you can practically see his ass right here in the mall!
"I want some privacy on this call, but the phone cord doesn't stretch far enough!"
has been replaced by
"I want some privacy on this call, but the government can tap my phone without a warrant!"
I just heard part of a cool song on the radio, but I missed the name of it. How will I ever figure out what song that was?
I dont know where that is, no worries I have a Thomas Guide. (map)
Well will have our secretary call a messenger right over so you can get those documents by 5.
$250 deposit for lost or un-returned porn tapes.
The gay bars here get so crowded we better go early to stand in line before the cover charge goes up!
If you want to hood up, here is my pager number.
Can I have the want ads section of the news paper, I need to look for a job.
I am going to rent a space at the swap meet so I can get rid of all my old stuff.
Excuse me from dinner, I will be right back after I make a call from the phone booth.
So you said this stuff is from Maui Right?
Anyone got extra milk crates to store records?
Way to steal a popular Internet meme and try to make it your own, OP. All of these are from "1990s Problems meme".
R86 Here is one from the 70s. I went to fill up my gas tank but they didn't have change for a 20.
R86, go put a tampon in your twat, and kill someone else's buzz. Copy or not, this thread is great, you tool.
God, mum - can't you read a map???
(Now it's "Shut the FUCK UP!!! I'm in the middle of a field... There is no "In two hundred yards, turn left" I'm in the middle of a FUCKING FIELD!!!!)
Arrgh, I just missed the best play of the game! I hope they show a replay.
btw we need to get over to Jimmie's some night to see the video he shot while on vacation.
Ugh why did I wait until the last minute to organize this party? There's no way everyone will get these invitations on time, even if i post them today. I don't have time to call all those people individually! How can I possibly let 50 people know about this today??
I wish there were some kind of public forum where I could make a statement, even a completely mundane statement, and then someone else would immediately say something bitchy to me. I can't imagine how this would ever work, but it would fulfill some kind of strange need I have, or maybe it's even a fetish. I'm probably the only person in the whole world who desires this, so the idea would never take off.
[quote] The phone company is charging me extra for an unlisted number.
I still have a landline, and the phone company still charges me extra for an unlisted number.
Fun premise, OP. I was watching some 80's movies over the weekend and loved how people had to get their messages from their answering machines. No cellphones or texting at the parties. Computers had 7 MB of RAM!!
What's even sadder is that some low-rent movies today still use an answering machine as a plot device, as if anyone, even your grandparents, has had one in the last decade.
My parents still have an answering machine (and a land line).
I hate going to my relatives house ... they always break out their slides, forcing us to watch a slide show of all the pictures they took on vacation...
My mother-in-law begins every voicemail message with "If you're there, pick up..."
I really need to get this garden club newsletter out but my office is all out of stencils for the mimeograph.
I really can't wait to see the new Rick Astley video but MTV is doing a Madonnathon.
Bravo R89 - will you also beat up r19 and r62? I agree this is an awesome thread and those two are either too young to know what we're talking about or they're little buzzkill assholes or both.
And speaking of gas stations, isn't it annoying to have to wait for the attendant to pump your gas? I'd rather do it myself.
Wouldn't you know that my partner's parents chose to visit us right in the middle of the movie I've been waiting for weeks to see? Now I'll never know how it ends!
I love genealogy. Just this morning I sent requests for birth certificates to nine different states since I don't know what state great-great-great-grandpa was born in. Sure, it's expensive, and sure, the wait might be up to three months, but it's worth it!
AAA didn't get us our triptiks in time, so we have no idea how to drive to Florida.
"I'm really looking forward to that double feature tonight, we're seeing Jaws and One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest!"
I'll fax it to you.
I'm going to miss the opening sketch at the start of the show if the tv doesn't warm up any faster!
Why is everyone on the planet using styrofoam coffee cups?
I'm a horny teenager who wishes I could rub one out to some hot mansex. I'm too young to go to the dirty bookstore, so I have to make do with scrambled straight softcore on The Playboy Channel. (The sound comes in fine, though!)
I gotta go right now, my favorite TV show is coming on and I can't miss it! EVERYONE will be talking about it at the office tomorrow. No one watches whatever airs on the other 3 channels in that timeslot.
We're planning a vacation, can anyone recommend a good travel agent?
I love reading the news in the morning, but I hate the ink all over my hands!
Beep me 911
$60 for a Falcon video on VHS? It's a lot of money but you get to keep the tape forever, so it's worth it. How else will I view porn at home? I'm far too embarrassed to enter that curtained-off room at the back of the video rental place.
I had to call my dad on his cell phone and now he's pissed that he'll be charged for the call!
Or as I would have said in 1993- "shit, that made me laugh out loud"
I feel so guilty for shelling out thousands of dollars for a 20 MB hard drive. I mean, my god, I'll never fill that thing!
The annoying thing about backpacking around Europe is keeping track and converting all these currencies
Another bad thing about backpacking all over Europe is having to make the trip to the Post Restante counter at the GPO to get my mail. Oh well. At least I get to find out what's happening back home.
My dish set is almost all complete! Just two more visits to the Shell Station!
Oh no, I lost one of the pages from my IATA issued airline ticket! Hopefully the ticket agent at the airport will take pity on me and let me board the flight, even if she has to put me in the smoking section.
I'm going away on vacation next week, so I won't be reachable by email. If its an emergency, the call the hotel at... ...otherwise, I'll see you when I get back!
[quote]That boy's shorts are so damn tight and short you can practically see his ass right here in the mall!
Here's the visual for r73.
Honey, would you get me a few bottles of scotch from the hotel mini-bar?
Huh? I stayed in a hotel with a minibar last month.
Operator, I'd like to make a collect call.
Where did you stay, R127? I travel a lot in the US and stay in Hilton, Marriott and Holiday Inn chain hotels. Most have refrigerators but they are empty. I can't remember the last time I stayed in a hotel with small bottles of liquor or candy and nuts in the room.
R129 They have them in fancy hotels. But now most of them are set up so that once you remove the bottle you are charged for it. Even if you pick it up and put it back. If the weight is dislodged it is counted as used.
My pussy smells so fresh!
I can't decide which newspaper to subscribe to, so I just subscribed to both of them.
r22 - brilliant!
Just put that copy of Newsweek on the coffee table with Look, Life, the Saturday Evening Post and McCall's
it's almost time for the national news on television ...
Damn! I forgot to bring newspaper with movie times...
We'll mail you a form to fill out in triplicate. You keep the yellow copy and mail the other two copies back to us. Please remove the carbon paper before you put the pink and white copies back in the mail to us. Once we receive your application we'll process it within 5-7 business days. Then you can expect your replacement card in the mail in three more days.
I miss my big brandy sniffer full of trick's names and numbers!
My partner and I can't decide whether we should have the wedding here in San Francisco with my family, or in Los Angeles with his family.
I don't get R138's post in the context of this thread...
(unless it's a Prop 8 reference, which means that it's a problem that will exist again in a few months, so I'm not sure it counts)
R139: bingo, and I hope you are correct.
I hope we come to a gas station soon so we can ask for directions.
I am another person who still has a landline and my landline phone has an answering machine built in. My landline is cable though, so if the cable and/or electricity goes out, I don't have phone access.
I love my main landline phone. It's a Panasonic from either the late 90s or early 00s and it's awesome. Great volume, very intuitive way of storing phone numbers. I've bought extension phones by Panasonic and other companies ysince then and they all suck
Damn. The phone stopped ringing before I answered it. I wish there was a way to find out who it was!
I wonder what the butcher shop has on special today.
Don't butcher shops exist where you live r144?
I hate having to hold my cassette recorder up to the radio speaker so I can tape the new Madonna single...and then the DJ talks over the song.
Can't wait for that movie to be released on laserdisc!!
I can't remember all my friend's phone numbers! And I lost the piece of paper I scribbled down all the numbers on!
I sure wish I could throw some birds and some pigs and not have the ASPCA all up in my grille...
The Yellow Pages/White Pages are so HEAVY!
We're out of E Tickets!
I miss "E" Tickets
Disneyland has been going downhill since they got rid of them.