How can I be clever, funny and witty on DataLounge?
I read all the posts and laugh and laugh, and then I think: I could have written that if I had thought about it.
How do I make myself "think it up"? How do I make the witty connections between an OP post and witty retort? Is there some secret?
Be something other than what you are.
OP, if you have to ask,...
But that goes against every principle espoused by man and philosophy.
People either have it or they don't. If you don't, you're better off not trying. Otherwise you embarrass yourself as we'll as others who feel embarrassed on behalf of others.
On the other hand, some day you might find yourself coming up with a genuinely witty comment, perhaps something even other people might find funny. In that case, go for it. But stop trying. No one has ever successfully struggled to be entertaining.
Study it out!
There are no magic words? No incantations or dolls to pierce with metal rods?
Learn to use nouns as punctuation marks.
I've been here for years and never had my comment in the wit and wisdom section. Usually my comments are serious though. Also, I've also clicked WW for many posts yet only one of them ended up in the WW section. I guess my sense of humor is different. It's like on America's Funniest Videos where the dumb, not funny, videos win.
What is the WW section?
R10 Look on the left side of the screen. Near the top you will see "wit & wisdom." Below are comments selected as funny or insightful.
OP, post something counter to the prevailing social ideology and you'll be worthy.
I can be witty/funny in conversation, but have a hard time being funny on demand.
you either got IT or you've had it!
OP, I can't tell you what might be considered clever or funny.
But bypassing any of these might increase your chances: earrings and caftans, Helen Lawson, The Golden Girls, etc.
Or as the great philosopher Bernadette Basinger once said: "I'll join this
conversation on the proviso that we stop bitching about people, talking about wigs, dresses, bust sizes, penises, drugs, night clubs, and bloody
Bypass...earrings and caftans? What a humorless cretin you must be.
You have to hire good writers.
R15 offers an excellent example of how not to be clever, funny and witty.
Good job, cunt!
OP, you just have to be yourself, dear, and the kids will like you as you are. Don't try to be something you're not. You'll just end up disappointed. We're all special in our own way. You don't have to be the funny one. You have many interesting ideas that people will appreciate.
Sign here, OP.
I wuv you, R19. Hold me until I fall asleep tonight?
[quote] Bypass...earrings and caftans? What a humorless cretin you must be.
Says the same bitch that will, at the first mention of earrings and caftans, roll her eyes and say "Oh mah gawd, can't you bitches come up with anything new?"
Oh fank you...!
One summer I had six concurrent posts on W&W.
A friend of mine had six concurrent posts on W&W...but then she died.
R25 Grease fire?
I've had at least 20, maybe 30, W&Ws. I would say 90% had no place on there. I get them in streaks, like R24 said, but I've never had 6 at once. I'm one of the originators of the Patsy Ramsey troll and, admittedly, many of my W&Ws were from those posts.
No, R26 ,it was bees.
OP, you can be doll and click on that pretty red X at the top right of your screen. We all would appreciate it. Thanks, hun.
Be sweet, dear child. Let those who can be clever.
I'm impressed by the wit on this board (not impressed by the nastiness). I sometimes if Paul Rudnick and Bruce Vilanch contribute.
[quote] OP, you can be doll
You have to have been teased and bullied in school, and developed a thick skin. Words are your defense- like the spines on a porcupine. Watch out, bitches!
R29 = Sandy Vagina?
I'm hilarious & have no doubt appeared in WW many times, but it never occurred to me to check. I'll start doing so immediately & hope I'm not disappointed.
OP, here's an idea. I'm too principled &/or paranoid about giving my credit card number to DL &/or cheap to pay $18, so I can't post during PT. But if you pay to become a member, you'll be able to post during PT & you can have my place -- without me, there are hardly any funny posts, so yours will stand out.
Well, I'm having luck lately mes amis!
I think I'm a pretty funny guy. I have seen my comments in the W&W column three or four times.
Sometimes I take a step back from the thread's story, and see if I can work it into a very well known theme, tv show or story. Then I try to smush them together, and try to make it something new yet familiar.
Some jejeune newish combination of well-worn tropes is a sure winner.