Tom Cruise ‘convinced he’s lost 1/4 of an inch in height,’ freaks out
Tom Cruise has always been insecure about his 5’7″ stature — and word is, his recent press tour for Oblivion now has him really worried. “Since seeing the photos from the red carpet with Olga Kurylenko, Tom is convinced that he’s lost a quarter of an inch,” a source says. Tom could be right: Studies show that men over 40 shrink by a quarter-inch every decade. Of course, being Tom, he is consulting experts. “He’s not ready to resort to surgery or anything extreme,” says the informant. “But he just wants to be sure he’s taking all the preventative measures.”
[From Star, print edition, May 13, 2013]
Crazy old Tom is so paranoid about his height, and now I’m envisioning him trying out various “home remedies” such as hanging upside down in his bedroom closet like Arnold from “Different Strokes.” He probably even made a call to his favorite Brazilian plastic surgeon to see if anything could possibly be done to remedy the situation. This story is probably true, right?
I realize that it’s perfectly plausible for a tabloid to have been short (heh) on stories for the week until deciding it would be great to shoot at an easy target; that is, Tom’s lifts. However, I think we’ve got some solid evidence for this story being true, albeit on a time delay. Remember, Tom and Olga did many appearances together for Oblivion, but then Tom had some time to analyze the various photos, and by the time the last premiere rolled around on 4/10 in Los Angeles, Tom and Olga did not pose together on the red carpet. Yes, Tom made Olga pose all by herself. Also, Tom’s hair is huge! That’s at least an extra half an inch of height-altering, hairdresser magic. Just wait, the shorter Tom gets, the bigger his hair will get. In a couple of years, he’ll look like Yahoo Serious.
The Onion or Andy Borowitz?
The things he wears on his feet are way beyond lifts or elevator shoes. They're highly engineered to look like real shoes with his trousers hanging down to hide the upper part. He's actually walking on tip-toes inside the shoe-like apparatus when you see him on the red carpet.
I love R2.
He need to start taking Boniva.
Obviously the boy took one too many sofa bounces.
I have been using my inversion table for the last year and a half or so every day, just for my lower back, but I think I've gotten 1/2 inch taller.
Don't tell Tammy though, it's good for an artist to suffer.
As if this Napoleon complex isn't funny enough already. The joy is that it'll keep on giving.
Tom Cruise is 5'7"? No way in hell.
Do you really shrink? I'm just over six feet. I'd like to shrink a little cso I'd be exactly six foot.
I like things neat and perfect like that.
Even a quarter of an inch was painful for me since I was born with boy parts. I always looked away during our awkward efforts to make love. My prayers to Reese and everyone who is scared at CAA. Thank you for listening.
yes, we all shrink as we get older! FACT!!!
On the plus side, 'The Incredible Shrinking Man' is long overdue a re-make.
R2 My uncle has done costuming for Broadway for ages now and he calls those kinds of shoes high heels for men. Tom Cruise must have really great balance to always wear those shoes.
Tom Cruise should take his cue from Daniel Radcliffe. Daniel is a short guy who does not give a shit and who does not wear lifts. That is how you do it.
There is no way Tom Cruise is 5'7". I put him more around 5'4".
Great, pretty soon, he will be perfect for the lord of the rings sequel which im sure he will be great in as a Hobbit!
I'm certain his penis has shrunk an inch in length and it was already micro.
That mentioning of hanging upside down made me think of Al Lewis in The Munsters. Wonder if Tom will don a black cape.
He's 5'2' if he's an inch!
He should work the shortness like Michael J Fox. Instead, he's so self-conscience it calls more attention to it
A few years back, one of the tabloids had a pic of him at the park with Katie and Suri. He had the most ridiculous high-heel sneakers on! The looked 4 inches thick.
Yes, r9. It varies depending on bone health and bone density but everyone shrinks. It is possible to lose about 2" in height from the time you're 40 to when you're 60.
I recall right after 9/11 there was some televised memorial event where he and a bunch of other celebrities appeared. Towards the end, when he was on stage with everyone else, the camera starts to pull back and then it was revealed. He was standing on a box!
r2 he's not the only one on tiptoes. Brad Pitt is about 5'7" as well or shorter. He also wears lifts and is standing on tiptoes in all of his appearances on the RC and in real life too.
Little Tommy Tinkle Pot's diminutive height is the least of his problems.
Sean Penn is also short, much more so than the official height claimed. There's this wonderfully obsessive site that has Cruise quite high. Seems implausible.. 5'7 isn't that bad.
I wonder who DL would prefer between Pitt and Cruise as actors. Pitt is more often compared to Depp (more relevant) but they're all the same age. None are particularly liked I think.