Sorry, I really wanted to like this thread title but it's a fail.
Can we make it How Would England Be Different if Patsy Stone Were Prime Minister Instead of Thatcher?"
That would be funny and somewhat timely.
R1. Don't encourage this one trick pony
What about "How would Christianity be different if Bubble was Jesus?"
You bitches can die for MY sins.
She'd be out in the desert turning sand into coke.
R5. Well color me Christian.
Crucifixes replaced with LaCroix, natch.
Jesus will forgive you for suggesting He had a vaginny if you ask him on your knees. Just because all He did was pee with His Holy Thing, it don't mean He wasn't all Man as well as all God.
You people keep it up and at the rapture I'll be soaring up and you probly will just be huddled in the pit trying to look up my saintly robe.
The Eucharist would consist of a Bolli-Stoli and a crisp, darling, a crisp.
Instead of donating money to light a candle, you'd pay for the privilege of extinguishing one in a stream of your own piss.
Communion wafers would be dried potpourri.
She would convert Franzia into Veuve Clicquot.
r8 is a stupid cow
Okay, I'll play.
"Do this in memory of me" would be replaced in the liturgy by
"Cheers, thanks a lot."
Instead of saying "Go away and sin no more," she'd scream "Why won't you just die!"