When on a date with someone. Something that's just punch, delete, no second date.
The musical tastes of a teenage girl.
If they enjoy professional wrestling. I can sink to a lot of levels but that I cannot accept.
Rupublican = gone
Republican (unless he's hot and dtf)
Talking about money.
Drinks too much
Rude to servers and other service people
R3 + 1.
Negative and scared of Poz folks
Shaves body hair
Rude and cannot appreciate different people
Stereotypical queen into babs and Elton and Liza and musicals
Works out incessantly
I went out with a great, great guy not too long ago. My type. Smart. Funny. We had great sex. On the second date, he told my he's a "Reagan Republican". I flipped out. I couldn't believe it. But I decided to try and not be reactive and give it a shot - which was VERY difficult for me.
It's sort of worked out. I really care about him. We have an embargo on all things politics. And he's pro gay marriage, pro-choice, pro-gun control. He truly is the fiscal conservative/social liberal type of right center Republican. He hated Bush, didn't vote for Romney. So he's at least tolerable.
But I wish, wish he was a true liberal.
queeny valley girl voice
Frequent DL poster
Terrible table manners
Engages in passive-agressive behavior
Reads blogs as only source of information
Can't stop talking about ex either good or bad. Cries when talking about ex. Punches wall when talking about ex.
Racist, which is covered under "Republican" but not limited to it.
Loud, "life of the party" vibe. Usually means they are completely self-centered or just un-manageably insecure.
Expects sex right away.
Drinks too much or is high and/or refers a lot to "partying" a.k.a drugs.
Dresses or acts much younger than they are.
Is HIV negative. I'm positive and I don't want to infect anyone else and I don't want to have to deal with their fears or make them feel better if they freak out over my health.
Some stupid ass- 'tard with one or more things that are an instant red flag.
Scared of guys who are POS = uneducated
Owns a Louis Vuitton or Gucci wallet = shallow
Votes Republican = self hater
Obsesses over Beyonce = Bottom Queen
Dose drag more then Halloween = wants to be a woman
Has tons of self pics on Instagram = narcissist
Actor = See line above
Dose Improve = See Actor
That style of eye-glasses that have the metal bar attaching the lenses together at the top. Anyone wearing those is a possible serial killer.
Uses words such as "tired" to mean something other than physically exhausted, or "queen" to mean something other than a band or a monarch.
I know I shouldn't say this but I just cannot stand really queeny guys. They tend to be bitchy, catty, mean spirited and manipulative. Everyone I have ever knows including friends have lives that are consumed in pure drama....which they create.
The butcher guys never seem to be focused on that shit.
anyone who wears a jean short
anyone who wears abercrombie and is over 30 (they can be over 30 just not wearing abercrombie.)
anyone who mentions thier ex more than once..hell even once.
anyone who wears a backward baseball cap
anyone who mentions the price of anything they are wearing,,or the name brand of it, unless I ask.
Has to shower every time before he has sex. Alone.
I still miss the rest of you though!
Someone who talks over me.
Someone who can go for 10 minutes talking about travel plans.
someone who can't read a simple direction like "name one thing"
r21, I assume you're talking about r22.
Suggests a $$$$ restaurant for the first date!
Has a bicycle that costs more than my car.
In a band.
r29, you're practically announcing yourself as sexually undesirable
Is on Facebook.
Is a Republican/right-winger.
Is a smoker.
Someone who has disgusting table manners.
It's amazing how many people fit this description.
BTW, the OP said "one" thing
Anyone who commonly uses the following terms in ordinary conversation:
liberal (as a slur), hard work(ing), dependence, indeed, fascist, socialist diversity, community, latino, people of color, racist, disturbing, inappropriate, unhinged, batshit, mouth breather, schmaltz, treacle, suburban, vibrant, mosaic.
Nascar or ultimate fighting fan
watches fox news
being from NC, SC, WV
that ear stretching thing
R34, what about MOIST?
bloated boozer types.
trashes their friends casually in conversation.
hangs out with their family every weekend.
vegetarian but won't shut up about it.
believes television news.
facebooking mini-celebrity type.
r35, you were doing fine until the last one. That one brands you as an idiot.
Former or current Marine (eligible for fuck-buddy status only).
I loathe those unimaginative so-very-corporate types (i.e. R25 and R33) who always listen so primly to instructions, no matter how absurd (i.e. "name one thing", or "just say no") and then have the prissy nerve to admonish others who don't follow the same absurd instructions.
can't spell for the life of them
Anybody under the age of 30 who says "It'll never happen to me!" The sentence of DOOM!!!FOR ANYONE!!!Hope for the best but ALWAYS,ALWAYS EXPECT THE WORST!!!
Flamboyant attention whore
Rude to wait-staff or service people
Anything more than one discrete tattoo
Any piercings beyond one in each ear lobe max
I won't even be friends with a Republican let alone date one.
[quote]Is on Facebook.
That really cuts out a hell of a lot of people. You know that, right?
tries to tell me what I "should" be doing
gives unsolicited advice (see #2)
wound too tight/no sense of humor
funny how no one has mentioned drugs
Ooops -- I forgot. Has kids.
I will not even consider dating a woman with kids. Too complicated, even if they're no longer at home.
Shows up late without a text message or call and doesn't even apologize for it.
On the phone a lot, checking messages, twitter, fb, etc.
Rude towards anyone
Uses Prissy Subculture jargon words like: twink, butch, queen, girlfriend, self-loathing, nelly, etc.
[quote]can't spell for the life of them
It's like rai-ee-ain...
[quote]funny how no one has mentioned drugs
Or worshiping Hitler, or being a serial killer.
Unsafe sex enthusiast
Smart Phone addict
Shallow dating checklists
Can I name many things as a form of self-therapy?
Praises their physical appearance - even saying things like "I've always been told I have great skin"
Talks about themselves at length
Talks about working out or says things like "I have to go to the gym."
Obsessed with status symbols.
Expects to be praised for doing inane things such as going to the gym.
Has had a weight problem in the past (it invariably will still be a focus of their life. It's great they lost weight but I don't want to hear about and how they have to keep it off).
Overly negative (funny, I know)
For guys - having mostly female friends or a female best friend. Usually the female friends are pseudo-wives, girlfriends and are a psychic drain on these men. The "Fruit fly" phase should've ended in high school/second year of college. Having female friends that appreciate you and respect you is one thing, but having a "fag hag" is a disaster.
Needy/doesn't have anything going on in their life other than other people. Conversely, overly distant and doesn't tell you ANYTHING about their past.
Socially awkward - I don't mean being shy. I mean people that tell weird jokes and don't realize when to shut up. I guess I mean they lack empathy or ability to read signs.
People who can't relax.
No hobbies other than drinking or watching tv. It's okay if you want to do this alone, but don't expect others to have fun watching Real Housewives and getting drunk week after week.
Not good looking.
Everything else flows from that.
It's funny because most of you use.
Has bad relationship with parents.
Like I give a fuck about the types you loathe, R40. OP said ONE thing, and people respond with lists longer than their arms.
Who cares about the 180 different things people consider an instant red flag?
It's shit like that that makes threads so uninteresting.
ONE thing, godammit, so go FUCK yourself, you moronic fucktard.
Not a fan of "Buffy" or "Firefly" or Joss Whedon in general. I mean, seriously. Who could date such a person?!?
Hates Monty Python.
Has never played a game on Xbox.
Doesn't "get" Big Bang Theory
Has never read a sci-fi book.
Doesn't know how to use a Windows computer
Refuses to dress up for Halloween
R60 = biggest red flag in this thread.
[quote]unhinged, batshit, mouth breather, schmaltz...
Ohmygawd. I use every one of these words regularly!
Enjoy your life without me!
r61 is my idea of a red flag on two legs.
I'm sure he has the glossary to Dune committed to memory.
[quote]Ohmygawd. I use every one of these words regularly! Enjoy your life without me!
Maybe you should wear a shirt warning us normal people so we don't have to waste our time. Then again, I could probably spot you before you uttered those words.
Doesn't like or want kids and animals. No sense of humour. Picky/uptight.
"Can't host. Will Travel."
LOL Thank you r33 / r60 for proving my point so beautifully!
This only applies to a woman.
When a man doesn't scan you from head to toe when you first meet him. And after that, you don't sense he's undressing you with his EYES.
This may sound caveman sexist, but it's the truth.
Considers Fox News a veritable news source.
I'm not following your post, SWF.
LOVE swf on the verge
I'm not following it either. You're saying you want that to happen r70? If so, why?
Has a naked pictures of themselves circa 1980 on the wall in their house.
No, you dont look like that any more, you are not fooling anyone with that big hair.
Guys who complain about going out how everything is so expensive as a reason to stay at home and be a drunk.
I thought the head to toe scan (especially evaluating the breasts) was a real turn off for women?
Please explain, swf.
Has a workout regimen that includes eating egg white omelets.
Learned this one the hard way: describes himself as funny.
I went out on an awful date with a guy who described himself that way. Now it's a red flag - if you have to describe yourself that way instead of letting others do it for you, the apt description is "tedious," not funny.
"do you mind if I borrow your cell phone I need to make a call"
"are you on grindr?"
"are you going to eat that?"
"are you going to eat THAT?"
"ugh I feel so fat I missed the gym today"
"how big is your place?"
r75, I've never met anyone with pics displayed like you mention, but if I did I'd find him far more interesting than you. The idea seems cool. People should celebrate their past.
I am sorry. I myself found the wording awkward but against my better judgment hit the post button anyway.
Let me attempt to clarify: For a woman, the biggest red flag that the man may not be straight is......what I said about the scan and the eyeball strip. I realize it doesn't happen much in the times we thankfully live in today, but you would be shocked at how many gay guys asked me out in the days of the closet.
Big hug [R73]
Wow... small wonder nobody can find a date.
Cruelty. In all it's forms. That would include being rude to waiting staff, bullying, animal cruelty, making cutting remarks, it's all part of being cruel - the act of intentionally hurting another being. It's just such a fucked up way to be and has no place in my life.
I'm not claiming to be some sort of perfect specimen myself, just that I do try not to be a nasty, vicious asshole and I don't like being around others who are.
R77] It is a turn off, but straight men cannot correct their lizard brains when it comes to sexual propriety.
I went out with someone and the subject of "blacks in prison" came up. This person (white) actually had memorize bullshit statistics about how "those people" are more likely to get thrown in jail because of "how they behave". etc.
Done. Punched and deleted.
[quote] but straight men cannot correct their lizard brains when it comes to sexual propriety.
Yes they can. They're just not encouraged to.
[quote]straight men cannot correct their lizard brains when it comes to sexual propriety.
Boys who like boys are no less visual in their sexuality. I'd argue more so.
So you're saying facts bother you, r86?
R89 = racist.
Punched (in the nose) and deleted.
People who belligerently lie about what "racism" is.
r86 & r90, that means you.
wearing white socks with dress clothes
jewelry other than a watch and maybe earrings i.e. includes wedding band
have more shoes than Imelda Marcos
wears a same article of clothing on more than one date
orders off of the menu regularly
wears designer underwear all the time
have pics of their ex in frames or clothing of the same at their abode
duplicate profiles on dating sites
won't introduce you to close friends and/or family
that's all for now, i'll let you know when i think of more
Yep, spewing the word "racist" around when not warranted - like 86/90 is a definite dealbreaker. And strangely, they're always white. I've learned that these are truly obsessed zealot type people. It extends beyond any racial concerns.
You haven't been around much R81 have you? I am not talking about some super hot guy that did porn for a living when he was 20. If that was your career, then its totally understandable.
I am talking average guy who wanted the male version of Glamor Shots even women dont do anymore.
There is a difference between celebrating your past and living in it. These guys come off as pathetic trying to sell you on what they used to look like. Which begs the question, you must look like shit now.
Cruel to animals
Inappropriate interest in way too young males
Shaves pubic area
[quote]Maybe you should wear a shirt warning us normal people so we don't have to waste our time. Then again, I could probably spot you before you uttered those words.
You're probably right. Believe it or not I can always spot a dim bulb with a 100 word working vocabulary, too afraid to express himself intelligently, from a distance too!
HIM: "Hey, have you heard of this website called Datalounge?"
yeah r99, even though I post here, I would probably avoid anyone who does. Or at least I'd find out first if they were one of the typical DLers first. There are a few subversives here that I'd probably like though.
A person is acting all upset and sobbing -- but no tears are actually flowing.
Loud, boisterous personality
Actively in a program - AA, Overeaters Anonymous, Anorexia.. not a full-on deal breaker, but red flag.
Has a bad relationship with most of their family, specifically mother/father
Works as an "artist"
Not a pet person; "not that into" animals
Has 3 drinks to your 1
Gossipy, rude, obnoxious
And a large handful of others mentioned here in the realm of Republican, racist, etc. Hopefully we uncover these things before wasting the time on the date.
Works for family. Never again, my ex worked for his father and that meant his family was always around and up in our business.
what are people thinking of when they write bad or "disgusting" table manners?
Man, do I ever have egg on my face. I completely misunderstood the meaning of the title of this thread. I thought that by red flag, OP meant an indication that the guy was definitely gay. Now I realize that would be a GREEN flag, duh.
No wonder my posts seemed so asinine.
I hope my virtual adopted DL brethren will forgive me this lapse in reading comprehension.
R92/R94 if you don't think what R89 said was racist, then you're a fucking racist. Jesus, what the fuck is wrong with you?
well, I like you swf
No, it is NOT, r108. I guess you're one of the types r94 was talking about.
[quote]what are people thinking of when they write bad or "disgusting" table manners?
Given the mentality of this place, I'd guess it's something like this:
Trying to make the case that the higher rate of imprisonment for african americans is due entirely to their behaviour and not to a number of structural factors is most certainly a racist argument, r111. But please keep trying to paint us as the villains - it's another red flag of bigotry.
It is, R111. How the fuck can you say it's not?
Someone referring to blacks as 'those people' is racist. If you can't understand this simple thing, along with insinuating they all "act bad" and deserve to be in prison in far greater numbers than white people...
I can't help you if you can't recognize racism, but you denying that it's racism doesn't change the fact that it IS racism.
[R114] A hit dog barks the loudest. Maybe you should examine your own racial agenda.
Oh good god the PC twats are out. What time do you people go to bed anyway? I'd like to avoid your stench.
Observing fact isn't being PC.
It's interesting how people who say the most racist things always deny their own racism, and defend other racists.
Sad, but interesting.
Refers to himself in the third person.
An hour in you know all about him and he hasn't bothered to ask anything about you.
I'll be here all night, r116 - so why don't you just fuck off to a klan meeting?
C'mon, I want to know what constitutes "bad table manners!"
R120 wiping your dick on the tablecloth? It's like some people don't even know what drapes are for!
Someone who doesn't shave their bush and chest
[quote]Trying to make the case that the higher rate of imprisonment for african americans (note the PC word choice) is due entirely to their behaviour and not to a number of structural factors is most certainly a racist argument
This is the very definition of racially obsessed hyper-PC lunacy. Your objective here isn't to prove your point through evidence, your only objective is to shut down the discussion so that the opposing view isn't allowed to be made. Ultimately you're just a liar who is scared of the truth, which is why you so feverishly try to stamp it out. Like it or not, behavior (ultimately a product of culture, not race) does land people in prison. There's just no way around that. The structural factors agument does have some merit, but it is at most only responsible for some of the overwhelming numbers.
Agree with r123. I usually try to find out if they're uncut, because that means no sex. Now if sex won't be involved, it makes no difference.
Not sure exactly how R124 could be more wrong, defensive, and transparent.
Nobody's arguing behavior. That's not the point. That you can't see the point... (or even the point of what you quoted) says a lot about you, none of it good.
The structural factors argument has more than just 'some' merit. Oh, if only you actually knew as much about the topic as you think you do.
Prattles on about his pet(s)
Dead bodies in the trunk.
I hate that!!
Well, no, perhaps that's not a total disqualifier. Depends whom he killed. Some people deserve to be killed.
r117, like they others, you're just making declarations about racism without any basis. Whatever you've been programmed to believe is racist, you'll just accept as fact. It's really sad that you'd give up your mind that way. It's really identical to the fundamentalist thinking process. Someone has told you that x is sinful/racist - well then it just IS - no explanation or reason necessary.
How does it feel being a walking, talking, mouth-breathing red flag, r116?
Wow, I think it is a safe bet that most people posting here are NEVER going to have a successful romantic relationship. EVER. Talk about some messed up folks. I particularly like the headcase who typed a list of words that, if people "regularly" use them in conversation, are dealbreakers! HAHAHA. I think many/most of the posts on this thread are parodies or jokes, though. Otherwise, folks, how many of you have Asperger's or other undiagnosed mental problems?
I can understand not dating a Republican or poor hygiene or some other BASIC stuff, but so many of these dealbreaker traits that you all are posting are obtuse, ridiculous things that are going to make you DIE ALONE. Seriously.
Note that r126 just pulled the same stunt. If this mysteriously elusive "point" existed, he could have stated it. But no, he made no argument, gave no evidence, stated no reasons. Just another ad hominem insult.
Dumbshit, r117, et al. stating that "those" black people [italic]deserve[/italic] to be in jail at disproportionate numbers- solely due to their own behavior and ignoring the cops that treat white and black suspects differently- the judges that assign white and black offenders of the SAME crime vastly different sentences... and the —oh.. fuck it...you don't care. You just "know" it's that way because you think that tool was citing actual "facts". NO. He wasn't. It was Bullshit. Racist drivel from racist websites. No facts involved.
It just makes me laugh that people are seriously trying to argue that a mass generalization against an entire race of people - isn't racist.
Just stop. Just. fucking. Stop. STOP playing ignorant.
Oh wait, you're not playing are you.
And those of you accusing the "PC twats" of derailing- check upstream and see who had to go pick a fight first.
Well, you racially obsessed loons have made my choice easy. Any of that stuff is a huge red flag. I get along fine with anyone, but I absolutely won't put up with the everything-is-racist! idiots. I've gotten to know some of those people, and like someone said earlier, they're always white. And always stuffed with psychological issues. I guess it's a self-loathing thing, who knows?
r124. [quote]Like it or not, behavior (ultimately a product of culture, not race) does land people in prison.
Of course that explains why Lindsay Lohan in in prison right now.
— oh wait.
[quote]It just makes me laugh that people are seriously trying to argue that a mass generalization against an entire race of people - isn't racist.
Who's doing that? I'd agree with you if that were so, but that's not even in question. As usual, we're talking about disproportionate numbers, not all people. And at the root of it all is culture, not race. The people who want to drag these things into racial arguements are generally the ones who are itching for an excuse to call someone racist.
Lacks compassion for those in lower socio economic classes.
Uses cell phone for texting or talking while out with me. If we need to look up directions or something, that's fine. But spending time one-on-one with me and interrupting the conversation to take a call or text? I'm done with you, whether it's a date or as a friend. I think it's about the rudest thing ever. Emergencies are exceptions. Or if it's an urgent call from work or you're waiting for a call from a prospective employer. But just to socialize? That's what you're doing with me. You can call them back later.
- Cabbage Patch dolls.
- Being in a lower socio-economic class.
[quote]but so many of these dealbreaker traits that you all are posting are obtuse, ridiculous things that are going to make you DIE ALONE
every living creature dies alone
I agree with those, too, R138
and the person earlier in the thread who said cruelty in all its forms
r131, r34 announced a few pages earlier that you are a red flag.
Spends too much time judging strangers harshly and for shallow reasons...
If they have to break out into, "oh my god look at her ...." etc. or critique something about a stranger every other minute then they must not have much to talk about.
The same goes for odd unwarranted outburst of impatience and anger at strangers. Someone who to harshly criticizes a waitress, or the guy in the other lane, etc. too often - is going to be a bitter angry mess.
[quote]Agree with [R123]. I usually try to find out if they're uncut, because that means no sex. Now if sex won't be involved, it makes no difference.
People with ignorant, shallow, provincial, childish attitudes like this is definitely a red-flag.
R130, you're so completely wrong. About so many things. Perhaps you should spend more time looking into a mirror than wagging your fingers at others. You could probably use some introspection.
r127, that's a good one. My ex doted on his dog, we would have to leave places early to go home to take care of his dog. If you are not as into animals that can be a dealbreaker.
R54, I want to marry you.
LOL at r146. Responding to a post about making fundamentalist-like declarations without evidence -- by making another declarative post without evidence or argument -- just another ad hominem. This is really how bankrupt their thought processes (actually just resentments are).
r134 nails it.
r135 is clueless... guilty of a straw-man argument. Nobody is saying "everything is racist". Just racist things are racist. Denying that racist things are racist is ... just ignorant (and latently racist).
Perhaps you should read r134's post again. A few times. Until it sinks in.
And as for R137:
[quote]Who's doing that?
Are you blind? Or do you just have no reading comprehension?
R137 is obviously white, filled with white privilege, and blind to actual racism suffered by actual people. Sad, really. Arrogant, totally.
I'm not itching for an excuse to call anyone racist. I don't even think about it until someone says something blatantly and obviously racist. Racists are usually blind to such things, though, I've noticed. You might want to stop throwing stones in that glass house of yours.
I like r144's post. It would eliminate about 70% of the people posting on this site.
[quote]People with ignorant, shallow, provincial, childish attitudes like this is definitely a red-flag.
Oh here we have another typical DLer who thinks spewing a bunch of smear words at someone is the same as making a reasoned point.
yes, R144's was good.
R152, factual observations aren't smears. Juvenile stupidity is all that post was. Shallow and ridiculously stupid.
Gym-built bodies. You know, guys with boobs where the nipples sag and point down. They love calling them "pecs."
And yes, uncut is a turnoff, but of course I'd never actually say it to anyone. I wish people would wear rings for that kind of thing to indicate it.
People who think uncut is a turnoff are seriously red-flags. Jesus. How can you call yourself a gay man if you can't appreciate a lovely intact cock. Pure ignorance and prejudice.
r154, calling someone "ignorant" because you don't agree with them is not a "factual observation." Having an attraction preference (what turns you on and what doesn't about someone) isn't a matter of being informed or smart, so "ignorance" doesn't apply. Poeple like what they like, and you need to get over it.
There's nothing un-gay about failing to like "a lovely intact cock," since lovely and intact are oxymoronic when discussing penises. The true cockneissur always likes them cut.
Holy crap, the anti-circ freaks are as bad as the "you're a racist!" freaks.
People who are insensitive.
People who don't like to travel.
People who are always angry or negative about things.
People who are either too conservative or too liberal.
Uncut is a huge no.
Poz guys who lie about their status. I'll have dinner with you, just don't have sex with you.
[quote]Holy crap, the anti-circ freaks are as bad as the "you're a racist!" freaks.
I think they're generally the same people. All the specific beliefs are covered at their cult meetings - along with their weapon words ("racist" "ignorant" etc.) they use to avoid having to actually think.
R156 + R159 = uncut
those ugly brown strapped sandal things
jargon talk (is it that hard to just speak English?)
being part of a subculture
Uncultured, poorly educated, unworldly. You may as well belong in a leper colony.
[quote] I particularly like the headcase who typed a list of words that, if people "regularly" use them in conversation...
Oh wait. I think "headcase" was one of the words that kook said would disqualify you!
r162, I don't think you read things carefully enough.
Guys who post neck down pics of their body on Grinder. Almost always FUGLY in person.
Indoor only cat/cats and litter box.
Used to be a woman.
I was lurking the thread, and I would like to add to the 'racist' argument that while the original post that earned the 'RACIST' label isn't really racist, just ill-informed.
I'm black, worldly, young and educated. To be honest I deal with crap whenever I leave the house in regards to my skin color. I believe that most people are prejudice when it comes to people of other ethnicities, and they're not inherently racist. If you think that you are better than somebody because they are of a different ethnic / racial background, then yes, you are racist.
Spewing uncited 'facts' (without taking into account the social, economic and cultural dynamics at play) is pretty lame though. Especially if you're attempting to rationalize someone else's asinine overgeneralizations. Not all black people are lazy / petty criminals, not all white people are child molesters / serial killers, not all asians are good at math / terrible at sports, and not all Arabs are terrorists. Idk. Live and let live.
As for red flags - talking to much about self, being a know it all, lacking a strong curiosity about the world, malicious gossip (especially if I barely know you).
I'm kind of a wishy-washy pushover so there have definitely been cases where I've noticed but made excuses for signs of obvious dealbreakers like racism/bigotry, rudeness to people in the service industry, overall meanness, and veganism on the first date - but Republicanism is always a cut-and-dry instant dealbreaker. If Punch & Delete was a video game, the Log Cabin Republican would be the boss of the demo level.
Oh, yeah, I had a bad childhood. EVERY DAMN time.
Hunters. A guy i met recently went on and on about how he loved rabbit hunting. God i thought rabbits are the most defenseless of all animals and u take pride in killing them?? Goodbye.
One guy I almost dated revealed to me that he was a Republican, so OK I thought maybe I can still make it work.
But then he proceeded to tell me that HIV or AIDS would eventually go extinct once we develop natural immunity. So he was not worried about people who have it now.
People who think constant negativity and cynicism is intelligent social observation.
R96 needs to learn what the term "begs the question" means.
R96, clutching her pearls, calling the grammar police.
Keeps telling me how many times he saw The Princess Diaries.
When he wants to "dress up", he reaches into a barrel and pulls out a mock turtle neck shirt and a pair of stone washed jeans.
Insists on going to the gym with me when he is wearing that gay underwear (the kind that only has a ball pouch and a string between your cheeks).
Reads the Koran religiously.
Hopelessly devoted to his mother.
This is slightly off, but I once cruised a very hot black guy and he kept showing me interest, but wouldn't follow through. I eventually walked up to him and pulled out some fuzz that was in his beard and he said thanks.. He then proceeded to tell me why he was avoiding me but not totally telling me to buzz off. Years before he was in a bar in Milwaukee and he was cruised up by a white guy but ended up not going home with him on account he got a serious bad vibe from this guy. That guy turned out to be Jeffrey Dahmer. Jeff ruined white guys for him. He was visibly shaken while telling the story and said he was in therapy .
Applause between the movements.
He said. Girl lets order Cosmos
Very chilling, R181. That fortunate black dude is living proof that you should ALWAYS trust your initial gut instinct, no matter how nonsensical it may seem at the time.
I'm glad there are pro-cir trolls on here. I'll never forget my first time seeing those freakish, mutilated veiny pink scarred things and thinking charitably, "It's a good thing someONE finds those things attractive."
Anyone was says they "won't tolerate drama" (as they inevitably cause it).
Red flag: Vegan/Vegetarians. I've learned the hard way that people in either camp tend to be fucking insufferable.
Dealbresker: Bad oral hygiene. It's not that hard to brush & floss twice a day, or gargle with listerine.
Emerging threat: I'm increasingly aware of (and actively avoiding) grown men who socialize frequently with teenage boys. I've recently been avoiding a guy I once had feelings for because he shows an unhealthy obsession with kids (he currently hangs out with a group of boys in their late teens despite being in his mid 30s).
Brags about being "liberal" = buh bye
People that have to be praised for everything
People that must come first regardless of the situation at hand
Had a relationship with a teenager
All of this = Goodbye creep
People that have to be praised for everything
People that have to be put first regardless of the situation at hand
Had a relationship with a teenager
All of this= Goodbye Creep
Six + pages (and counting) of DL negativity at its finest.
Is it any wonder most of you are single and always will be single?
Chewing with mouth open.
Improperly plucked brows.
Sipping drinks through a straw.
Illegal drug use!!! There's no place in my life to deal with its fallout.
Conspiracy theories about every world event. Every world event is an X-Files plot in their minds.
Rude to waitstaff
Brags about cruelties to others
Talking smack about all their friends behind their backs
Being a 'taker' (always borrowing money from friends, etc.)
Bragging about ripping off friends, theft, cheating on past lovers.
[quote]Something that's just punch, delete, no second date.
When some queen says "punch & delete", clearly under the impression it's still 2003 and attempting to sound edgy and cool...
Red flag. I'm out.
Like R196, illegal drug use is a deal breaker for me. Rudeness to anyone is also a deal breaker. Others...
Racism or any other form of bigotry.
In terms of politics, I want to date someone who is openminded to opposing views. So, I don't care if the guy I'm dating is Republican or Democrat, but he needs to listen. As do I.
A guy who is not willing to try new things.
Guys who are into material possessions. I don't care if you drive a fancy car or have the latest IPhone.
Guys who text constantly. I want to have a conversation.
And guys checking their texts or messages while on a date.
Only interested in female celebrities (ie, not in male ones)
talks like a girl
I don't care about politics, to each his own as far as that goes
texting, cellphone-addicted asshole
bad table manners=
1. using utensils like shovels
2. rudeness to wait staff
3. talking with food in mouth
I don't care about knowing which fork is used for what. I care when it's apparent they don't know what a fork is for.
Coffee (and other beverage) slurping; any mouth noise, really.
Red Flags are supposed to be personality or behavioral issues that warn you away from dating someone.
The fact that there are people on here that would apparently meet a great looking guy, who is emotionally available, compatible with them politically, emotionally, etc., who "completes" them... but then would kick them to the curb because they're uncut? That's just psycho. We're talking about relationships here. Anyone like that is definite red-flag material, let alone bringing up something like a physical attraction in a thread about "red flags" because they're so unhealthily obsessed with foreskin (or the lack thereof). Ridiculous. Stupid. Ignorant. All the words used up-thread apply to these freaks.
Just because it's different and you're not used to it doesn't make it bad. Open your minds a little.
So yeah, another set of red-flags: Closed minded. Overly/Highly opinionated without being well informed. Conservative. Bigoted. Superficial.
The inability to think objectively. Blindly absorbing what you've been told and dismissing other perspectives as "ignorant," etc. Being unable to see that another's preferences are no different from the distinctions you make that you consider legitimate.
Which means r206 is practically waving red flags.
r188, us liberals deeply appreciate your thoughfulness in not wasting our time.
R206 All those words to say "cut."
(R207, madly trying to justify ignorant bigotry as simple 'taste' while ignoring all the red-flags of someone who is so over-the-edge irrational about foreskin that they bring it up on a red-flags thread like this, screaming "ewww" like little 12 year old girls)
[quote]Closed minded. Overly/Highly opinionated without being well informed. Conservative. Bigoted. Superficial.
As soon as they start into diatribes like the anti-circ freak at r206/r210. Obvious red flag.
I have some red flags for online dating:
-grew up in Manhattan
-went to Harvard or Yale
-is wearing a bowtie in any of his photos (when not in a full tuxedo)
Every guy I've met who fell into any of those categories has inevitably been a gigantic asshole. I don't even bother with them anymore.
Also, profiles with only one photo, photos only from weird angles or from far away, or photos with sunglasses are not to be trusted.
R212, not being "anti-uncut" doesn't make me "anti-circ".
I like all cocks. Uncut guys were strange and foreign to me at one point too. Then I dated a guy from France. Best sex I've ever had.
You guys are just small minded idiots who don't even know what you're talking about... just ranting and raving against something that is pretty much irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.
I'm not the freak here. You're simply projecting.
r214, reread your posts. They are way over the top, and throw out ridiculous terms like "ignorant" "bigoted" "obsessed" "psycho" etc. over whether someone prefers cut dong.
Do you go into the same fits when someone here posts their attraction, or lack of, for a certain size of penis? Tall/short body? Fat? I'm guessing no, because like someone said, for people like you, this circ thing is a blindly absorbed ideology. You've lost objective perspective and you just react. And in this case, yes, those reactions are a red flag that reveal a thought process that's lacking in, well, thought.
No, it's not my posts that are "way over the top", R215. Perhaps YOU should do the re-reading.
Most of the opinions expressed ARE ignorant. And you have to be obsessed or psycho to post some of the crap the rabid anti-uncut posters have posted. They're not posting about a "preference" at all.
And no, I don't go on those other issues, because people expressing *preferences* don't spend their time ignorantly insulting the alternatives with such vitriol and vehemence.
No, it's not blindly absorbed ideology at all (more projection? Or just you making up rationalizations for attacking me... the one who is being reasonable here, and likes ALL cocks, cut or uncut)... what it is, is life experience.
I'm not the one that has lost perspective, I actually HAVE it. It's the anti-uncut people reacting, knee-jerk.
Again, you're projecting all your psychoses onto me. Another red flag.
R206 - R210 - R214 - R216: The more you post, the crazier you appear. Carry on. Just a couple more before reaching the esteemed status of Shithouse Rat Crazy.
Yeah r215, the whole "if you don't think exactly like I do, you're ignorant, stupid and bigoted" attitude is a red flag. Not that there aren't actual ignorant beliefs, but some people try to insert their personal pet peeves into more serious categories where they don't belong.
r216, you're just digging a deeper hole with every post. Your 3rd paragraph is just lying. The "vitriol and vehemence" has come from you.
Mean to waiters
Resentment directed at successful people
A lack of passion
How is being reasonable sounding "crazy"? I guess it might seem that way to crazy people.
Again, you need to read the anti-uncut posts again, because apparently you're confused at which ones are the crazy ones. It's not me who posted crap like "I'll never forget my first time seeing those freakish, mutilated veiny pink scarred things..."
(an especially stupid statement since uncut guys are by definition UN-scarred, but why quibble when there's all the rest of that irrational over-the-top posting to look at)
Again, you're projecting.
The anti-uncut people always start this shit, in ever thread. This one is no exception.
Just stop it.
[quote]Your 3rd paragraph is just lying. The "vitriol and vehemence" has come from you.
Not at all, R218. THIS didn't come from me: "I'll never forget my first time seeing those freakish, mutilated veiny pink scarred things"
Point and match. Nothing I've said is vitriolic (if you're reading it that way, you're projecting... as I'm quite calm).
I'm just tired of this ignorant, unnecessary, pointless bashing the pro-circ trolls get into on seemingly every other thread.
Just stop it.
Wow, r220 you are a piece of work. The over the top post you quote (r185) is a a poster ON YOUR SIDE OF THIS! Go back and read it. It's an anti-circ post.
This is exactly what we're trying to get across to you. The craziness and vehemence almost always comes from your ideological perspective. You can't even see it in yourself.
[quote]Not at all, [R218]. THIS didn't come from me: "I'll never forget my first time seeing those freakish, mutilated veiny pink scarred things"
That was an ANTI circumcision post you dumbass. How fucking stupid are you? You can't even recognize your own fellow zealots?
LMAO. That's hilarious r223.
Saying that he hasn't broken up with his boyfriend yet.
Doesn't smoke meth,
Won't wear a cock ring,
Won't DP me with other Grindr trade,
Doesn't smoke cigarettes,
Won't shoot in my mouth on Cam4
you would think that people who have experienced oppression first hand would have some empathy for others but as I have often seen, the bullied, instead of fighting back, redirect their pain to someone else.
and thank you r138
some 'green flags':
active intellect, curiosity and self reflection
positive outlook on life
kindness towards people on the street
This is a mouldy thread.
[QUOTE]An hour in you know all about him and he hasn't bothered to ask anything about you.
Yes, this a thousand times. I'm attracted to a pretty wide variety of guys, but whenever I've encountered this on dates, that is the #1 dealbreaker.
Getting to know your date, by asking questions of them, is the only way you can learn about them, and open up the doors for a good conversation, and to learn if that's even possible. If you can't even do that a little bit on the first date, and you are so busy advertising yourself, then you shouldn't be dating.
is swf a straight woman, or bi?
His living room is decorated with a Snoopy motif.
Not knowing proper table etiquette or manners: misuse of the salad fork, fish knife, chopsticks, etc. There are other ways to let me know he was raised by a pack of wolves.
R232, I know from experience that stuff is really easy to teach. Well, I guess for some people. I'd make it "Inability to learn proper table etiquette in short order" ... but that'd take a few dates to figure out.
I had one ex who had a horrific childhood actually. Father abandoned the family, mother came down with acute schizophrenia when he was still in high-school and had to be institutionalized, leaving him on his own by the age of 16.
But he was eager to learn, was smart, and learned pretty quickly the right and wrong ways... shortly after we started dating, it really wasn't much of an issue any more.
The key is being willing to learn and change.
Red Flag: Being unwilling to learn, change, or adapt.
They pack an automaatic weapon?
I don't look for red flags and don't really need to- or tell others what those flags are.
Identifiably gay/has gayvoice/wears gay clothing
I think there's a difference between a "deal breaker" and a "red flag."
A deal breaker might be he smokes, but that's not a red flag.
Being rude/dismissive toward servers and cashiers is a HUGE red flag because it's revealing deeper issues he may keep from you for a while.
So many have posted that being rude to cashiers/wait staff is a huge red flag but what exactly does it reveal about someone.
Poses in their online profile pic with their dog or cat.
Red flag every damn time.
That seems so innocuous, R239.
So many people have mentioned "cologne." What is wrong with wearing cologne??
Gives me a headache, R241 (and I'm one of the ones who posted it). It's an absolute dealbreaker when someone won't give it up.
Re the posting pics with a pet. They are usually the folks who will assign human emotions to their pet. Nothing wrong with having a pet but when it's your primary focus, it is a red flag.
[quote]Gives me a headache
MARY! What a delicate little flower!
R238- Being rude to wait staff is red flag because it shows that the guy thinks he's better than these poor menial servants, so should be thankful to serve him in the first place. These people could be putting on airs or just snobs born into an entitled way of life.
Cologne gives me a headache too, but what is it a "red flag" of?
[quote]Cologne gives me a headache too, but what is it a "red flag" of?
It means I don't want to have sex with you, or sit next to you at school, work, the theatre, or anywhere else.
I am amending my post to "deal-breaker."
Red flag would probably be lack of manners (table, phone, interaction with strangers). You may not have learned manners at your parents' knees, but they are so damnably easy to acquire after leaving home.
Not warning me that he is about to cum
Cock that smells like cologne. Rude thrusting during Fellatio. Talking over the porn. Conservative use of lube.
Eats at Chik Fil-A.
I've noticed so many people holding a fork in their left hand while eating and they are not left-handed.
Then they proceed to put the food in their mouth with the fork in their left hand and often the fork is held upside down and the food is stuffed in their mouth that way.
I always thought it was poor manners to put food in one's mouth by holding the fork in one's left hand (while not being left-handed)
They put the fork in their left hand to cut the meat which is fine, but then they don't switch the fork back to their right hand to put the food into their mouth.
Has this been deemed okay somehow in the world of manners? I can't imagine that it has been deemed okay and not poor manner.
Left and right is Continental.
Right only is predominantly American.
R251, that rule faded away around the same time schools stopped forcing left-handed children to become right-handed. We no longer believe the left hand is unclean.
Someone who is a very picky eater or unwilling to try new foods. These types are horrible to travel with too.
I'm a vegetarian, so I understand restricting your diet, picky eaters are the worst.
If you all are noticing much of this stuff while you are on a date, then you are not into the person anyway. I mean, really, if you are engrossed in an interesting conversation or are attracted to someone, are you really going to be noticing how the hell he is holding his FORK? Because if you are, you are not fully present in the conversation, are outside of the situation judging, judging, judging. Which is what young people do and why younger gay men can never find boyfriends. They reject someone because they chew "funny" or didn't accessorize properly or had on cologne. And then whine to their girlfriends that there aren't any decent men out there. Then they get older and WISH for someone with any of those traits. There are no perfect people out there and so many men waste valuable years searching for mister perfect.
Many of you really have your priorities fucked up about what matters in life, it seems. At least from these posts.
R251, you're describing the standard European way of eating... so much more efficient than the constant switching of hands that Americans engage in.
You're a clueless moron who lives under a rock, R251. Red flag.
Mentioning on the first date that you were molested as a child.
R251, are you 251 years old? I gave up eating "American style" the minute I saw "European style."
[R251] Ha! That's funny. My mother simply forced me to adapt to the Continental style of forkage before the age of 4. One must conform to the rules of the bourgeoisie!
Setting off a bomb at the finish line of a marathon.
Oh wait...you said RED flag. Never mind.
Republican leanings, deal breaker, no dice.
Suggesting halving the tab on the first date, after he's had the steak dinner and you've had soup and salad.
Blowing his nose at the table - into his napkin.
Doesn't get along with siblings
Has no long-term friends.
Says non-sequiturs that just don't make any sense.
Sues family and friends.
Shows up places uninvited.
Disappears for stretches of time.
Tell you what you want to hear. Means nothing.
[quote]Rude to servers and other service people
Just as many here say "Republican", I'd throw in a fellow who considers himself a practicing (rather than lapsed) Roman Catholic, or Orthodox Jew. The former I just can't "get" and the latter with all those picky rules.
R238, do you think restaurants and stores are the only places such people act out their overwhelmingly large sense of entitlement?
Adding to R266:
And even if such people were able to confine their arrogance to scenes in public, who wants that in a partner, or even in a friend?
I got beat up on Sixth Avenue in the Village because my boyfriend gave some sales clerk the finger. The only time that's ever happened. And nobody was screaming "faggot." It was all due to this asshole's assholescence.
He was always creating scenes.
Lots of repressed anger that comes out in insidious ways, R238. They are cowardly bullies who only pick on people who can't fight back. Service people have to smile and be polite no matter what. These are the same shit stains who have uncontrolled road rage. It's easy to feel like an alpha dog from the safety of your car.
That about covers it.
My god most of you are a bunch of pearl clutching Marys.
I could put up with most of your complaints,many I think you make up in your minds. I mean short of walking by a homeless person, I've never encountered anyone that stunk. If someone is wearing too much cologne, let them know.
My only deal breaker, really queenie guys. The kind that your dog knows are gay. I met a super hot guy about 5 years ago at a pride parade. He was talking to a friend when I noticed him, beautiful sexy guy, no shirt & thick chest hair. My ideal type, well I went up to him and said hi, he opened his mouth and his tits fell out. I Hate gay voice.
R270, I think most 'gayvoice' is an affectation.
I've seen even straight guys pick it up after hanging around gay guys sing-songing it all night long.
And I've seen guys who talk perfectly normally most of the time, but go to a gay bar or party, and they're suddenly talking in a pitch that's an octave or two higher, and saying "GUUUUURL!!" and all the other stereotypical bullshit that is so annoying.
Half the time I wonder if they even realize they're doing it.
I think R251 doesn't realise that most Europeans consider his 'good manners' way of eating to be atrocious. It's a personal preference, of course. I'm European and I eat with the fork in my left hand and knife in the right as I was taught in childhood, but I don't care how anyone else eats as long as they keep their mouth shut while chewing.
Good manners is about not making the people around you uncomfortable, not sticking to some arbitrary set of rules. That includes not being an arse about which hand someone holds their fork in.
Thinking Carousel is a great musical.
Not having a phone, TV, and some kind of social media site.
I too agree that gay voice is an affectation. I've known guys that had regular voices before they came out and the minute they came out and spent some time in Weho, started with the gurrrrrllll and all the other trappings of gay voice.
By "social media site" you mean Facebook, etc. In that case, sorry, not interested in joining. I have a TV (and cable!), but no landline. Good luck with Mr Right.
You point out the classic signs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. However, I want to mention that my brother and I live 10 minutes apart, and haven't spoken in a couple of years now; we have almost NOTHING to say to each other, aside from discussing relatives in common, which peters out quickly. That's the way it goes ...
As for "gay voice", back in the 1980's when I was an undergrad, the grad student in charge of our dorm (straight, married guy) was doing his Masters on the subject (for, I believe, speech pathology).
Is your brother your twin, r277?
No, we are five years apart, and look completely different. I was blond (now gray), with blue eyes; he has thick dark hair and brown eyes.
Not thinking "Carousel' is a great musical.
Republicans, religiosity, racism, antisemitism, anti-intellectualism, over sharing, trash talking exes.
If he has no contact with family and has no life-long friends, it's a huge red flag.
Most of what people wrote are not "red flags" but turn offs.
To me being politically conservative/republican is both a turn off and a red flag. A turn off for the obvious but a red flag for being greedy, close minded and a a lack of sympathy.
ok, forks and table manners people
Check out the clip from Annie Hall. Annie's family, seen as more refined and sophisticated than Woody's, are all eating with the fork in the right hand. Woody's family, more wild and working-class are eating with the fork in the right hand and the left hand. A woman from Woody's group can be seen eating "European style" with the fork in the left hand.
I don't think it matters which hand the fork is in, as long as you are polite and calm about it! Or are the American upper-middle class all eating the "European" way now?
I have no life-long friends (as such), but I have had friends all along, just lost touch after moving on in life.
Loving the movie "Prometheus". Instant red-flag. Practically a deal-breaker.
bad breath or any kind of B.O., yuck
Talking about porn on a date.
Similar to #287, when they talk about their past debauched life of whorish hijinks. "One time I went into an alley with this guy...".
This thread title should be changed to: "If I had a date with a real person, these are the things I'd wonder about."
waxing/tweezing eyebrows. Its one thing to clear out the middle so you dont look like a caveman, but when a man shapes his eyebrows to the point they look like they belong on a woman, I am out of there.
Can't stand the 'gay voice' either, and all the gay vocab, like gurl, queen, etc. So outmoded and tedious. We should be way past that crap now.
And the incessant attention to female celebrities who have little or no actual talent. Come on. Men are interesting too, not just for their looks.
[quote]Can't stand the 'gay voice' either, and all the gay vocab,
I would have picked you out as gay for saying "vocab." Sorry, gurl.
Mentioning that he's "Christian" or that he "prays" for things, or saying the phrase "I feel so [italic]blessed[/italic]!"
They said "yes" to a date with me.
LOL R294. I had the same exact thing happen to me on my most recent date. You know how you have the typical back and forth with someone to find out more about them. I asked him what was the most important thing in his life. His answer was, "my relationship with God." Right there the date should have been over, but I felt bad, he drove nearly an hour to meet me.
THIS thread is the definitive answer to the thread asking why so many gays are single.
Someone who is inconsiderate and lacks compassion and/or empathy for others.
Oh yeah and what R281 said.
Yup, R296... right there with you. I totally get it, and completely agree.
And it sucks having to go with the rest of the date knowing that it's already over.
I get the Red Flag feeling if someone is too charming and charismatic in a certain way. These people are hard to describe. Some of them even almost fool me.
Will not go out with any republican. Ever,
Now that I've learned more about sociopaths/psychopaths, I feel the same way, R301.
Guys who gossip. Celeb gossip is okay, but I'm talking about guys that badmouth everyone they know (friends, co-workers, family, etc.). They are very unloyal.
Sociopaths, R301. They live to manipulate. Watch for flowers being sent.