Boring, So-So Looking, Sane Lesbian Seeks Same
(by request from another thread)
Who knew a not half bad woman was hard to find? --
One woman I encountered has 2 boyfriends (both married to other women) and is looking for a serious open relationship with a femme lesbian. Now, the thing is she wants an open relationship (on her end) where she can keep her 2 married BF's, but doesn't want said femme lesbian to date anyone else. Oh, and she rocks the scale clocking in at about 350. Not to mention the requirements of said femme lesbian (must be a fit strict vegan, reptile lover, and have at least one legible tattoo).
Has anyone here tried Match or Plenty of Fish? Are they a better alternative than ok cupid? I'm just your average lezzie, far from being "all that", but I'm just looking for a nice normal girl who doesn't live hours away. I'm in a major metro area, shouldn't be a problem, right? Well it is. The most interest I've gotten are from girls, that are really not my type, many look like men, goth looking types, the women are Bi, or they are couples looking for a threesome.
Is there any site to go to when you're just looking for a nice normal girl?
Thanks for posting for me OP!
Any suggestions are appreciated.
I have heard pink-sofa is good
Thanks r2, I've never heard of it but I will check it out.
Do you have lesbian friends who can set you up? Grapevine it!
I have heard good and bad about it. Never tried as I'm a homo, but here's the link.
R4 I don't really have many lesbian friends. I am somewhat new in town, so I thought I could meet people via online at first, then in person. I am going to a "meet up" event next week that will have lezzie's. So there is hope. I was just looking for any additional suggestions. I am almost 1 year out of my last relationship, and I've had a rough year (health/personal stuff). I am finally at the point where I want to get out and meet people (friends too). But it's tough, because I don't know anyone here.
If you love animals, volunteer with rescue groups &/or at a shelter. In my area, those activities seem to attract a disproportionate number of lesbians. The ones I've met have been fairly sane -- but if nothing else, they can introduce you to more lesbians in the area.
Best of luck.
I think you should find some sort of group and meet people in person instead. People who get out of the house and do things seem to be more sane.
Yes R9, that's why I signed up for the meet up group. I'll also try pink sofa, R5, thanks.
OP, I'm on POF, mainly because I put that ad up a while ago just for fun and never really took it down. But I do check it every week or two, not really expecting anything.
I'm 1 1/2 hours from NYC, so I guess I could do a road trip over that way, but I'm new to my area as well, and I'm not used to the cold weather here yet. So because I haven't traveled around the area much yet, I wouldn't be averse to meeting up with women from POF if they seem nice.
But my impression is that the women on that site don't really WANT to actually MEET anyone -- all they want to do is write a sentence just to see if they can get you to reply. Then when you do, it's like they got their little attention fix for the day, found out they're still attractive enough to get someone to react to them, and got their jollies that way.
I'd be happy just to find a couple nice women to ride my motorcycle with, but I haven't even found that.
I don't know, OP -- I often wonder if most lesbians believe that they only have to sit around and look pretty and eventually someone will chase THEM. I'm not going there. If it's not a mutual thing, you're too high maintenance for me.
Lesbians are odd. I don't generally have a lot in common with other lesbians. But frankly, I think that may be a good thing.
[quote]I often wonder if most lesbians believe that they only have to sit around and look pretty and eventually someone will chase THEM.
They do. It's called "Lesbian Sheep Syndrome".
R11, that's an interesting take on POF, and lesbians in general. As if they are only on those sites for an attention fix. I signed up for ok cupid, but ended up deactivating my profile as I wasn't really feeling it.
I am about 2 hours from NYC, and am in the city often. I recently moved from NYC to the burbs - but I'm realizing maybe that was a mistake. Oh well, I will try the meet ups in my area.
If I don't put myself out there I will never meet anyone.
"As if they're only on those sites for an attention fix."
I take it that was some kind of a put down, R1...??
As if the myriad of people posting on DL, Facebook, etc. aren't there for an attention fix as well.
I told you I don't have much in common with other lesbians. I'm pretty intelligent, pretty sane, and I think pretty clearly. And I have the "balls" to think for myself and not follow the herd.
You, OTOH, should do fine. I'm sure you fit right in.
No R14 it wasn't meant as a put down.
OP - If you tell me which metro area you are in, I will research good options for you.
Thanks R16, I am in the Philadelphia suburbs (and I am in NYC quite often for work). Ideally meeting someone in the Philadelphia area would be nice.
Okay I am on this.
The Philly Professionals Gay & Lesbian Group
Thanks R18 - I'm actually a member of the group at R19 as well as "The Mixer" - so I am trying! I will be attending the meet ups just to see if I can meet people.
As far as R20 option, I don't want to cut off girls under 35, as I am not that much older than that. I don't even really know where Mt Airy is. I'm in the burbs but closer to New Jersey (New Hope area).
Btw, "LA Librarian" I use to live in LA, and things sure are different here! It's much easier to meet girls in LA/Weho.
Thank you for your efforts. I guess it comes down to just putting myself out there and seeing what happens.
You are good R21! Maybe I will go and check it out.
Yes! Go to the Burlesque show - be sure to let everyone know you just moved from LA (will give you cache); dress to impress, make lots of eye contact and get some phone numbers!
When you meet one girl - be sure to get her to introduce you to all of her friends. Then make sure they all know you are new and single.
Lesbians LOVE to hook up single gals. Power networking.
Okay OP! I hope you are now armed and dangerous! Good luck!
Doesn't look so bad, OP. I moved to a smallish city-town that doesn't have anything except repressed people, alcoholics and closet cases.
R36 etc, I will let you know how it goes!
I met my partner of 2.5 years on Pink Sofa. We're both femme, have a good sense of humor and are intelligent professionals. But she's bi so OP may not have given her a chance anyway. My advice is to not be so definite in who you don't want to meet. People are surprising and complex; you're idea of the ideal woman might change when you go outside of your comfort zone. The most important thing for me was finding someone makes me laugh and was willing to go slow (taking the time to get comfortable with each other before meeting and seeing where it goes from there).
I wish you the best of luck!
And yes, I see the irony of calling myself intelligent and then making a number of grammatical errors in my post. Let me express my intelligence further by saying 'doh!'
R39/R40 I just signed up for pinksofa. I'll let you know how it goes.
I never heard of that site, until this thread.
Match.com? Yay or Nay?
I look forward to hearing all about it r1. Just as a caveat, I do know one woman who has met quite a few women on Pink Sofa and none have worked out, but I think most of them were long distance relationships. My philosophy is that you'll only get as much out of Internet dating as you put in. Be prepared to travel, communicate about what you want in a relationship and be choosey about what to be choosey about (if that makes sense). And if all you manage to get out of it is a good friend or two, it's still a win.
[R1] Are you the sort of gal who would love to attend MichFest if given a free flight and all expenses covered???
R45, Funny you mention Michfest. I was hankering on the idea of going to Michfest this year. Then I came to my senses and snapped out of it.
I had never even heard of it before coming to DL. After reading the 500 post thread about it I became obsessed with seeing the phenom event first hand. I realize that you are a lesbian, but are you the sort of woman who would like to "Bleed on The Land"? Are you a bit on the womynist side? Do call men penised persons" And most importantly, do you own a hemp vagina cape?
As a mature straight woman I am fascinated by the whole energy and ritualistic manner in which the Festival is historically run.
Let me be frank, I do not want to go and disrespect my fellow women in any way. I would never start taking photos out of a desire to show my friends back home the quirkiness of the shindig. What I would like is to view and absorb the experience as a check on my bucket list. Since I am 100% straight and not even into experimenting, I thought it would be cool to go with a lesbian who would view the Fest as a candy store of possible hookups and more. I would have the cover of my "girlfriend" and my companion would have the options to use me when hit on by someone she found repulsive, but she would also have the freedom to state she and I are in an open relationship therefore opening herself up to meeting thousands of females.
I know it sounds silly, and this is the first time I've put it out there for anyone. But even if you aren't the least bit interested, do you find the concept offensive as a lesbian as long as I repeat that this is not exploitative. I've been all over the world literally as a flight attendant, so luxe trips to exotic locales hold little interest for me.
Tell me the brutal truth. If I am out of line with my hopes, I'd rather know now, instead of continually humiliating myself by trolling for willing partners desiring a no cost experience. Thanks for listening.
Would you put me up in a hotel, with running water and a hot plate? I can't eat nutloaf, and I would need to shower daily. I really can't camp wither. I may have someone in mind though who could take you up on that offer. She is a lezzie who's never been to michfest to my knowledge. She "may" be open to camping but I am not sure.
LA Librarian - I went to Sisters last night, I didn't meet anyone special, but I did drink too much and I gave out my number to someone )I don't recall who)- who has already sent me two texts and left one voicemail....
Great r1! Whoever it is, agree to meet up next time this mystery woman is out with her friends. Why meet one gal when you can meet a whole group?
Thanks R50, but I don't think this one is worth pursuing. It was one of drunken moments, and I shouldn't of given her my number (case in point she just texted me once again at 1am to see where I am tonight - she's probably out and drunk so no big deal) But a little too forward for my taste. Just not my type, you know what I mean?
I am definitely going to get out more though. I surprised myself last night and was able to go out to a club, alone, and still manage to not be a wallflower. So mission accomplished!
Unfortunately I did use a few drinks as my crutch. I hope next time I will be able to do it without relying on the powers of alcohol - because I really don't drink much, and don't want it to become a habit. Makes me feel real groggy the next day.
I think I now understand why you are having difficulty finding someone special to spend some time with or more. I approached you, woman to woman, and I was 100% honest with you about my intent and motivation to experience something unique and special. One day later you are mocking me on a burn thread, started by male forked tongue haters, in order to pile on me with the boys.
I genuinely loathe the c word, and unlike you, I have limits and principles which allow me to sleep at night. But I will say that you are as close to the living definition of the c word as a woman can be.
Best of luck with pink sofa! You'll need it.
Calm down, Mary!
swf, who are you addressing in your post?
You seem to have misplaced your anger a wee bit.
Swf - you talk to yourself in other threads, comment on yourself in unsigned posts I the third person - you sir, are a troll!
[quote]Calm down, Mary!
Lesbians trying meet lesbians online is like squirrels trying to meet nuts in the middle of a busy highway. Women are too skittish.
I was addressing the OP, as she is well aware.
There could have been no misunderstanding as to that for her. It may have be questionable for a couple of respondents in her thread, but not to her.
[R55] If there is a troll among us it is you. I never speak of myself in the third person, The idea that you accuse me of speaking to myself in other threads is absurd, and I have never ended one post without using my former moniker swf.
You sir are an asshat.
r58 - a simply "troll-dar" on the "things we know about swf on the verge" thread reveals that you did and do talk about yourself in the third person.
Admitting to doing so after being called out on that doesn't excuse that type of trolling.
And to blatantly lie about it here, saying "I have never ended one post without using my forner moniker swf"...
It just makes me love your trolling all the more.
Troll on, Sir. Troll on!
Pink sofa looks good.
I am back on ok cupid, saw a couple girls that I am interested in that I will contact. I did try pinksofa, but I found the website to be too old school to navigate. I didn't see many people with photos either.
[quote] Since I am 100% straight and not even into experimenting
I can't fathom why people like you. You're not even open-minded, just another lame, straight fag-hag who wants lots of gay men to fawn all over her ancient ass. Sad, because your fans sound more like "straight" women (they are on DL) and flyover fraus, all giddy with the scraps you distribute.
And then you attack someone who actually belongs on a gay site (unlike you). Classy. Sounds like your years of booze and pills rotted your brain more than a little.
Thanks R63. I am a long time DLer, and didn't want to attack swf on the thread, but I've never been called the C word on DL ever. And we use it all the time here!
I was shocked that this straight woman who is looking for some token lesbian to help her get through the festivities of Michfest, would run and call me a cunt just because I mocked Michfest? We all mock Michfest, it's what we do here.
Anyway, rant over.
I want this thread to stay on course, because I think it could benefit the few lesbians that still come here.
I think we have a swf impersonator here.
I want to see the profile of the 350 lb'r, has that been posted.
No, r65, swf clears her cookies frequently. I remember troll-dar working on that other swf thread yesterday, and her post in this thread was yellow as well.
SWF - I'm actually a fan, I'm not even sure you're a real female, I get that your an older...person, but I think you're still a gay male. IDKY I think that, it's my vibe on you. But I'm still a huge fan. And I'm straight too, and female of course.
But back to your question, you should definitely go to Michfest and I bet you'd have a great time, provided you actually have a vagina. I've hung out with lesbian separatists before and had a fantastic time. I never mentioned I was straight, there's a whole energy there that is interesting. It's a very transitory scene for some reason.
And many of the separatist dykes I knew got married and have children with men, it was a phase for them (LUGS).
Read this thread if you want to know why some of us are not huge swf fans.
You know what is hard? Finding a nice, intelligent person - someone with depth. I have always found this hard. I don't mean a pompous idiot with delusions of grandeur about their intellect or importance. I mean a genuine curiosity about life and things and books - an active intellect, and also a nice, kind person. Very hard to find. A lot of people exist on some superficial plane or are simply not nice.
If you're going to come here and attack our lesbians for sport, take your straight heroin addicted ass off DL. I have no tolerance for straight attention seeking whores such as yourself. Cunt.
I am also a swf fan but I'm not really sure where her rant against r1 came from. I would also hesistate to say that this board is for the gay community only, I would extend it to the gay friendly. I do have a problem with those within the gay community who are prejudice against others, however (bisexuals, butch women, staright people, gay men hating lesbians, etc). I always have the principle that I am in no position to judge others and difference is to be celebrated. Perhaps then, dl is the wrong board to be on (but what can I say, it makes me laugh!).
Re pink sofa- both my partner and I did not put our photos online (I'm a teacher at a Christian school and did not want students to know my personal business). I wanted my attraction to someone to be based on personality before looks. You never know r1, you might be pleasantly surprised.
This is a gay message board r39. It's being over run with straight women looking for attention. Berating a lesbian in a lesbian thread, without a valid reason, is unacceptable in the universal gay handbook.
There are a lot of arseholes on dl, it doesn't mean that I have to be one of them and exclude others (for also being an arsehole or for any other reason). I don't agree with swf berating r1 but I can appreciate her bluntness in other threads. This is also a gossip site which swf provides more than most.
It is kind of odd that swf came to a lesbian dating thread and took it off into a fun reality show type tangent. Either she aint that straight or she's hoping to win a few lady fans.
Her lady fans are straight women.
it does appear that way. I have nothing against her in general, but her comments in this thread are bizarre and that last one is unbent. and I find posters who 'flounce off in a huff' to be ridiculous.
Here's and interesting profile:
I’ve traveled a hard road to get where I am and to become who I am. What I am:
- Thirty-three years old.
- Polyamorous. I have a boyfriend, but I have a lot of love to share. I also seek other outlets for my sexual exploration.
- Masochistic – yes, truly
- Sarcastic - A SSBBW (supersized big beautiful woman)
- Deeply Submissive - in the right hands
- Committed to my family – My dad died in May 2008 and I have assumed responsibility for the family, especially with my mom and brother.
- Dominant when I want to be – though never with someone I’m supposed to be submissive with (i.e. I will not top from below).
- Not conventionally beautiful – if looks/appearance matter significantly to you, I’m not your girl.
- Fiercely loyal
- Disproportionate – for being a bbw, I have small breasts. But I make up for it with nipple sensitivity!
- Looking for someone who will grab me by the hair and remind me who is really in control, or beat me until I can’t help but cry as I try to catch my breath between strokes.
- Welcoming of all questions
- Not promising to ANSWER all questions, lol. But do ask.
- Unable to relocate to distant locations due to family needs.
- Pretty good at giving massage
- Passionate – about love, about life, about … well. Find out for yourself.
- In possession of an atypical sense of humor…
- Often likened to a plus-sized Snow White with longish dark brown hair, amber-brown eyes, very light skin tone, naturally pink cheeks and lips of a dark rose
- Highly sexed
- Active in the lifestyle for over 10 years, either as a slave or a Domme.
- A good listener
- Getting ready for my first tattoo... already got my nipples pierced :).
- Respectful, yet, irreverent.
- An avid reader of sci-fi, fantasy, paranormal romance, and whatever interests me at the moment
- Hairy. I have an ovarian disorder (PCOS) that causes facial and body hair. I control it as best I can, but have to shave my chest and face, and require help to shave my back and ass. It sucks, but it is what it is and I can't afford the laser procedures that would end this. I have extremely sensitive skin so the various creams and stuff burn me.
- A movie fanatic
- Generous – to a fault
- A lover of games – strategy, board, roleplaying, cards
- Not easily intimidated
- Yet, skittish of bugs. And spiders.
- Terribly bad at bowling, badminton, volleyball, basketball – but love to play them all.
- Unconcerned with your physical appearance, as long as you’re clean. I am “into” your mind – if we spark against each other intellectually, I’ll want your bod. I’ll probably even beg for it.
- Employed but looking for better
- Longing to serve if given the right opportunity. I’ve been owned once before, but it was long distance and left me constantly hungry for more.
- Stronger than you’d think
- Sometimes outgoing, but it’s a cover for an inner shyness
- A lady who longs to be made into your personal whore
- Looking for the one to complete me, fill me, possess me, take me, make me scream and cry, then kiss away my tears.
- Willing to date around or explore until I find the right one.
- Eager to begin.
I'll pass on R80.
Pass on r80...
"I have a boyfriend but...." Not for moi.
She's a super sized BBW who wants to be your whore. She puts it all out there. Even admits to shaving her ass.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I was born with six fingers on my left hand. And no, I didn't kill your father.
No R83, she says she needs YOU to shave her ass for her and she shaves her chest and face on her own and there's this - "if looks/appearance matter significantly to you, I’m not your girl. - Disproportionate – for being a bbw, I have small breasts."
I'm reminded of a Craigslist post by an obese woman who was seeking someone to suck on her nipples to induce lactation. She said the objective was lactating not pleasure. Hmm.
Any updates, r1?
I heard Tig Notaro for the first time today. She wasn't funny. How can she make a living at comedy?
On Tig Notaro: "No moleste" is a very funny skit. Ditto "Them are little titties"
It took me a while to get used to her own brand of delivery. She does have it though
OP, I'm sorry but your post made me laugh. Let me explain. I've tried OKCupid&POF as they were free and I was very curious. Yes I'm a straight girl seeking a man. I literally got hundreds of responses. Flattering but like you 99.9% failed to read what I specifically stated that I was seeking, or didn't seem to care. Obviously neither of us want someone so selfish that they can't even try to compromise. My answer to you is realize that you'll have to ignore 99 responses to meet the 1 you'll actually might want to meet.
R88 you must be a hater. Tig is doing just fine without you thank you very much. she has world famous friends and doesnt need nobodieis like you to support her.
R89 you are awesome. Tigs comedy is to hard for retards like 88 to undrestand. please join us at tig fans unite on facebvook and tumblr