At what age did you get your shit together and re-started life on the right track?
As requested by someone from another thread. He wrote
"I sometimes feel I'm getting older fast to afford this depression, but being I can't get out of it, I spiral downwards a little bit more each year. I'm trying to fight it without medication, hopefully, things will turn around."
So how did you get out of it?
Wish I knew.
I can't seem to get out of my own downward spiral. Every time I feel like I'm going to get over the hump something happens that knock me back on my ass.
Sometimes there will be stops and starts. It's not always linear.
I hope this year - soon - I hope.
I actually had my shit together at a pretty young age. Everything fell apart when I reached my 40s. I worked hard to build a career. I had a great job with good money and great benefits. When the economy went to shit, I held on to it for a while, but I lost my job 3 years ago, when I was 44.
I have been unable to turn it around professionally. I have a job that I loathe and I make less than half of what I was making at my previous gig. I make less money at 47 than I did at 23. The benefits are a joke and the retirement plan is almost non-existent. Sad.
The rest of my life is okay, but professionally I can't get my shit back together. I have sent hundreds of resumes and been to countless interviews, but no job I have applied for comes anywhere close to what I had before. This economy just blows. I hate having to skrimp and budget and do without when I worked so hard. My only alternative other than what I am currently doing is to go into retail management.
I am kind of where most of my friends were in their early-twenties. Struggling financially. I have adopted a healthy attitude about it and have decided to just enjoy life and do all of the things I couldn't do when I was tied down to working 13-15 hours a day in my old job. So, slacking does have its benefits, I guess.
I was lucky and got hired by a great company right out of school. Been with them for 16 years (I am 37), but it wasn't until I was 34 that I really got my shit together and stopped going out so much, went back to school for my MBA and started treating my job as a career rather than a paycheck. I bought a house and try to put as much as I can into retirement savings/401K. However, I am still single.
I'm rich bitch!
I am confused. Is this about fighting depression or when to stop fucking around and act like a responsible adult?
I am too depressed to even try anymore...40 years of nothing. I'm too much of a coward to kill myself...wish someone would do it for me. If there is a God...he is cruel.
I always think its part if my personality or something. Therefore it's hard to change or even "start to change".
So I'm basically saying my life sucks because of who I am.
[quote]I'm trying to fight it without medication
When your life is as bad as you describe, take the fucking pill. This obviously isn't some minor issue in your life.
I first got it together at 30, when I decided to go to college and get a degree.
Then I had to do it all over again at 38, after my Ph.D. program left me a chewed-up bundle of craziness.
Now, at 54., I'm as together as I'm ever going to get. In fact, I may be unraveling until the day I die.
"Now, at 54., I'm as together as I'm ever going to get. In fact, I may be unraveling until the day I die."
I'm 60, and am the same way. I have a job, a home and money in the bank, but I live in constant fear of losing it all and ending up broke and alone.
it was the day I said to myself "I'm always a pessimist, but what's the use?"
that was many years ago, but you got to start somewhere.
it's been a long journey of looking at the glass as half full, reaching for better feeling thoughts, and being reminded whenever I see a little child that our natural state is joy.
I'd say this year is the year. I've done a lot of prep, and picked myself up many times, and already feel like I'm just about there.
Good luck to you r13!
The first part of my rework happened at 24 (personal). The second part happened at 30 (professional).
It DID get better.
I got my life together before I was 20. I became the perfect human being. Glory be to Xenu. My life is the perfect balance of love, sexuality, spirituality, fame, fortune and good old heterosexuality.
My life is so perfect that no one will ever top me (unless they sign a non-disclosure contract first). My shit is as together as it can get!
SUCK IT, BITCHES!
Tom Cruise, Hollywood, U.S.A.
I'm hoping it was Late last year around 45ish.
My dad died. I was about to start my third bout of full-time caregiving and a relative I trust took me aside and told me to stop.
So, now I've picked three cities in which I'd like to live and I send cover letters each week to every promising company in those cities.
I've re-started my fitness routine so I can fit inside my suits. I've also invented projects that keep me off the internet's 24 hour news cycle.
I'm currently sanding a hardwood floor and my triceps ache. My laptop is filthy and I'm feeling better than at any time in the last year.
I got my professional life together from the start, right out of school. I was an introvert with self esteem issues. Career recognition and success gave me confidence. I got my personal life together at 35 when something snapped, and I realized it was not all about my career. I found a partner and still enjoy a balance of work and play.
I wonder if it had been the other way around…
I was about 30 when I decided what I wanted to do with myself career wise. The rest has been a pretty steady journey- growth- hard times- more growth- the career I embarked on has worked out well. I'll be 60 in July and I am definitely crossing one of the biggest milestones of my life. Time is short, the prime is past, and the rest is gravy- although I fear the shorter teather and the greater risks. I think I will settle into it for a while- I hope I do anyway.
R5 I'm kind of where you are. I had a lucrative career and it all went south in the last few years. Now I am making far less and will likely retire at 70-75, instead of the 60-65 that I had anticipated. I just turned 50 and I am going back to school soon.
Young. About 20. But I came from a soulless well-to-do suburb that was decimated by rampant drug addiction. My whole group of friends became crack and heroin addicts. I never touched heroin but I freebased with them and smoked crack a few times. It was scary and so surreal.
I just remember being in a room hazy with rock cocaine fumes and looking around and thinking to myself "my god, this is hell."
I moved in with my dad in NYC the following week. Went back to college, came out of the closet and started my life. Never looked back.
Though a couple of years later I was walking around in the east village and a filthy homeless guy asked me for money. It took me a second, but I realized it was my best friend from home. He was living on the streets, face full of scabs, totally addicted to heroin. It took him a second to recognize me but when he did, he broke down crying. Then I did too. (I know, MARY!).
Saddest moment of my life.
At 23 I hit rock bottom. At 24 I started to turn things around. At 25 it started to bear fruit. I'm turning 27 this summer and I can hardly wait!
35 or so.
It all comes down to keeping your shit together until you get a break. Even if that takes a while, which it often does.
Is R21 Bret Easton Ellis?
I was rescued from alcoholism at the young age of 24. Was living on the street and in shelters.
After that I never took another drink. Have accomplished many things in life. I am nearing retirement and have never been happier.
Sad to hear R21's post. I bumped into an ex recently who wasn't far from what you describe. It was around 15 years ago we were together. He was very anti drugs at the time. Now, he is either on crack or heroin.
22. Found my partner and job the same year and still have both. I'm 40
Hopefully 30. I'm 30 in a few months, and I took a few chances in the past few years. Some paid off, some didn't, but things seem to be headed on the right track. The $$ isn't there yet exactly, but things are starting to happen so we'll see.
I am shooting for 55.
right now at 32
R21's post has got to be made up. That is like something out of a movie. That doesn't really happen to people.
R32, how cynical of you. What exactly about R21's post make it seem unbelievable?!
It all sounds plausible
MTE @ R33. It's an all too common experience. I can count at least a dozen friends and acquaintances whose lives, once full of promise, have been destroyed by drugs or alcohol. R32 must not get out much.
I kind of slogged through my 20s and began to focus more in my early thirties, though I can't pinpoint a year exactly.
Four years ago at the age of 43. Gave up alcohol and hanging out in the bars. After a nine month jobless stretch found a nice gig and was able to finally buy a house. Mainly because I became financially solvent by not hanging out. My only regret is not having done it earlier. Other than that I am okay with the way things are turning out.
I'm hoping to have life under control within the next 10 years.
[quote]I am too depressed to even try anymore...40 years of nothing. I'm too much of a coward to kill myself...wish someone would do it for me. If there is a God...he is cruel.
Have you been to counseling?
I had a wonderful life until age 37 and then things blew up to smitherines and true happiness was destroyed for the next 28 years.
Still no true happiness 28 years later, but I do find pleasures and interests in life.
So one just never knows about timing in life.
I would be retiring soon if I hadn't sunk my retirement into Precious Moments collectibles figurines. I was told that they would appreciate in value like gold, and they did, straight down the tubes. I can't give them away on my site on the Web, no one wants them.
I'll let you know when it happens.
I realized I have ADHD at age 32. That was 8 years ago and I see now that it was a turning point. Once I was able to focus and to listen patiently I was able to get my life on track.