Sonic Youth's Kim Gordon on why she and Thurston Moore split up after 28 years of marriage
How sadly banal!
"We seemed to have a normal relationship inside of a crazy world," Gordon says of her marriage. "And in fact, it ended in a kind of normal way—midlife crisis, starstruck woman."
Some years ago, a woman Gordon declines to name became a part of the Sonic Youth world, first as the girlfriend of an erstwhile band member and later as a partner on a literary project with Moore. Eventually, Gordon discovered a text message and confronted him about having an affair. They went to counseling, but he kept seeing the other woman. "We never got to the point where we could just get rid of her so I could decide what I wanted to do," Gordon says. "Thurston was carrying on this whole double life with her. He was really like a lost soul."
Who? Did I stumble into an old folk's home? Your record's skipping, Gramps!
Oh, R1, what a *clever* child you are!
I guess we all know Goo's secret now.
Well, I hope she dumped him at the point where he refused to give up the other woman. I too had an ex - we had been together 14 years - who cheated on me and wanted to go to counseling to save the relationship but refused to give up the affair partner.
I walked at that point. I have grieved and it has been hard, but I have never regretted walking. If someone is so cowardly they have one foot in and one foot out, there is no point to forgiving something as serious as cheating; it would be like an extra slap in the face and a total mind fuck.
Their music just sounded like noise to me. Hated them but the Italian guy in the band is hot and possibly gay.
R5, check out their version of Superstar,from The Carpenters tribute.
go listen to Katy Perry and Justin Beiber, R1
I liked Kool Thing.
[quote]check out their version of Superstar,from The Carpenters tribute. Very beautiful,haunting.
Gross. They took all the melody out of the song and made it as droning as most of the rest of their material.
[quote]I too had an ex - we had been together 14 years - who cheated on me and wanted to go to counseling to save the relationship but refused to give up the affair partner.
I'm sorry about that, R4. That feels like such a strange--but all too common--request. Did they want an open relationship instead? Or maybe something polyamorous?
I never even knew they were married until I heard they got divorced.
I never much cared for Thurston, but Kim is one of the greats and an inspiration. Hope she's OK.
I had the requisite Daydream Nation poster up on my wall, but the only Sonic Youth song I ever really liked was Dirty Boots.
I don't understand that logic. You recognize you are doing wrong so you go to counseling...to save the relationship..but then you don't give up the other person? I can't wrap my brain around that one.
No, my partner wanted to remain in contact with the affair partner as "friends at the very least". I guess with me tolerating a semi-affair while we tried to work things out??? I balked (thank god). That was my wake-up call (the cheating should have been, really - but at least I had *some* kind of internal boundary).
The irony is that my ex remains angry (furious, even) at me to this day for walking out of the relationship at that point, implying that I was the one who gave up on it after 14 and a half years. I heard through the grapevine that my ex ended up in a relationship with the affair partner for the next 4 years, most of it long-distance. I have been pretty much no-contact since we broke up. I'm over my ex, but not over my rebound guy, go figure (probably because I projected my lost love of 14 years onto the rebound guy, but that's something I'm trying to work out for myself at the moment).
So although I sometimes find Sonic Youth a little pretentious, I have to say I feel for Kim Gordon in this situation. It would have been worse if she had stayed trying to work it out with a "confused" man, as her self-esteem plummeted and the headfuckery grew worse.
Typing this out has been quite therapeutic (yes, I should get a blog) - I realize that I did the right thing by cutting off and bailing when I did. It would have been so much more painful otherwise and it probably would have ended exactly the same way.
She sounds fine, R11, but recently survived a bout with breast cancer. When shit happens in life, it not only rains, it pours! Or at least it seems that way.
Much entertaining speculation on the thread below as to who the other woman might be. Best comment: "This is the hipster 'Who Shot JR?"
Most seem to be saying that it's a woman named Eva Prinz, but there is disagreement.
It's totally Eva, R16. Google her name and the images that come up are her and Thurston acting like ridiculous schoolkids... and one VERY awkward picture of her and Kim.
Apparently, she is a self-proclaimed "provocateur." Indeed.