I have no job, no housing, no friends, no partner.
Everyone is searching for one of the four. Me I don't have any of the four.
What is their to live for?
I only have two of the four.
You obviously have a credit card and eighteen dollars to blow.
Tomorrow. Because you never know what will happen that will change everything. Keep on keeping on, please. I hate to hear people feel so bleak and empty. Just keep trying.
I have two of the four... sometimes it feels like just one out of four.
The world is a better place with you in it OP. It would be a worse place without you. So, it would be highly unethical of you to take yourself out of it.
There is beauty to be seen here; you've forgotten because of how difficult things are right now. Give yourself another chance to open your eyes, and another, and another.
But you have legs don't you? You already have a leg up on us.
Doesn't sound like much!
Well, OP- step into Datalounge. Our highly trained staff of doctors and therapists will work closely with you, to get you back on the road to Happiness.
I hear you, OP, as I've kind of painted myself into a similar corner, where I may have to break down and ask my folks outright for money -- talk about a depressing prospect!
I have one friend who would miss me, as well as my folks and another relative, but not really anyone else. I've thought about ... leaving, but am too cowardly, so I guess I'll have to figure out how to keep on going. You and me both.
Where r u living Op?
If you would rather die, you'd better do it, and decrease the surplus population.
R2 it was a $20.00 gift card
op please hang in there ....don't you want to watch me get #4?
I often feel the same. I wish I could give my years to someone who would enjoy them. I'm not really depressed, but I know that I am not very good at being happy. There's plenty of people who would give anything to have life ahead of them. I would happily give them mine if I could.
R15 I'm barely hanging on right now, so forgive me for not proofreading my posts
great art - paintings, sculpture, beautiful artifacts
Go to art museums - devote your interests to great art
nature - seek out nature - even in city parks and yards
get some large lightweight containers and plant flowers
the written word - literature - poetry
enjoy the beauty of each day
R18 here. Wait until you find an apartment/housing to get the containers in which to plant flowers.
Who are you living with?
r18 is right. You're only here once -you didn't exist before your conception and birth and you'll be dead forever when you die. You are here now in this split second of time in the grand scheme of things. Look for the beautiful and pleasurable things in life. They are there.
I feel for you, OP, I truly do. Here's hoping things get better for you very soon.
OP, it's easy to say, but do hang in. I go through bouts of feeling like this. Eventually I pull myself out of it.
Seel outside help. Don't be afraid to ask. I am almost 50 and have never had a boyfriend or known that kind of love. My list of friends is very, very short, too. I try to be hopeful.
R18 here. OP, I have no partner and no love in my life.
I have one friend and my parents are dead.
So I've devoted my life to being interested in the things I listed at R18.
The things I listed are an effective remedy, OP.
Try it and see if it is effective for you.
OP don't give in to despair. There have been times when I had all or most of those things, right now I have one. That will change for the better I hope. You must be staying somewhere, with a friend or relative if you don't have housing. If you are well enough, try to concentrate on finding work. Lower your expectations if need be, take any reasonable work. One small step at a time.
Want to add that I was ill for awhile, then lost my job, then benefits ran out, then savings. I was fortunate. A friend took pity on me and has let me stay with him. It's been six months and I have been working for the last two, trying to save enough to get a small place of my own again. so I have had a helping hand, bless my friend.
You might google "Peace Corps" and volunteer - sort of like giving your years to other people. Most of their volunteers have 4 year degrees but 10% of their positions don't require degrees. And there's no upper age limit.
R27, isn't admission into the Peace Corps competitive? I thought they had many more interested applicants than available positions.
Well OP, will anyone miss you? if the answer is no, then you might as well go ahead and pull the trigger.
You first, R29. Jerk.
R29, any misery you've got you deserve and any happiness you've got you don't. Cunt.
Measuring yourself against other people or their lives is a surefire way to feel sad.
OP, Just because you feel that way today doesn't mean that there will never again be blue skies. Warning; most want to be friends with positive and happy people. It takes an incredible human being to be truly supportive of someone who's depressed. Start searching any way that you can for those very special people. In the meantime please join me in ignoring the negative posters on DL; there are so many of us that try to be helpful and giving. Remember to always focus on the positive, however little that may be at any given time.
I have all four, and still..
I have doubts...I have such doubts.
If this is Steve Walker: Steve, I told you not to quit your job as a nurse and move to Utah because you thought everyone was so "healthy" there. I told you not to sell your car and lease a Prius, you cheap piece of shit. I told you it was one thing being poor, but another thing to be middle-aged and poor with bad teeth and stone washed denims.
You didn't listen to me, did you? Well, you ain't coming back to crash here in my house.
OP, can I have your TV set and Precious Memories collection after you commit suicide?
HEY.....Turn that frown upside down :-) And walk on the sunny side of the street, partner!
Boo hoo hoo!
Me me me me me me me! Pooooor me!
You honestly need to seek professional help.
Here are some things that will help in the meantime:
*Lay off of sugar-laden food and switch to lean proteins, whole grains, fruits and veggies. See about fish oil supplementation.
*Take walks if you can't bear to exercise. Nothing is better for your brain and body.Get some sun if you can.
*If you're able to meditate, do.
*Every time you have a negative thought--"I'll never get a job"--counter it with a positive: "Never is an exaggeration. It's likely I will find one but perhaps I need a new strategy."
*Make a list of the things that have made you happy in the past and see which of them you can reintroduce into your life.
Sure, this sounds like a self-help book but every single one of these things work.
I'm there right now.
I made the decision to get my effects in order and end it. I'll hopefully be gone by the end of December.
I don't have much, but I do want to make sure everything is organized and the right people/charities get my stuff.
I would never counsel anyone else to commit suicide because I believe only you know your interior life, environment and health issues. Everyone is different and suffers accordingly.
I do think, however, that it's possible to have a persistent level of suffering that it is not possible to alleviate. Once you get sucked into a hole-losing a job, devastating illness, no insurance, poor prognosis, etc. realistically, you're not getting out.
However, I think you have to be sure you've tried everything possible, mentally and physically to get to a place where you feel it's worth it.
This is especially true of people with mental health issues (I'm bi-polar II, and I know I don't think properly when I'm "down"; when I feel the same way throughout the year, I know I have a point.)
I'm not looking for empathy or someone to rush in and disagree with me. I'm just being honest.
The great Doug Stanhope, on suicide, relevant part at 2:03:
Thanks for all the responses. I had two cups of Tazo Calm tea. What a world of difference. It opened my eyes up. I feel better, but still have my problems.
But I want everyone to know I'm not going to off myself.
Just keep putting one foot in front of the othere.
Thanks everyone for your concern
I've been as low gets, and totally understand not wanting to go on. But I went on because I didn't want to hurt my mom. And eventually, after quite some difficult years, things got not only better, but GOOD.
I'm not saying it happens to evryone, but it's worth trying for. And in the meantime, live like the world's on fire.
OP - I'm glad your are feeling better and hopefully you didn't pay attention to some of the posts on here.
I find it interesting how everyone is rallying against bullying and yet here on DL, when someone is on the edge, we have R12, R20, R29 and R38. These 4 sad cunts are so weak they have to cyber-bully someone who is in a dark place.
Word to the unwise four mentioned above. Your shitty little words will be heard by someone who is truly at the edge. You will have blood on your hands, but unfortunately won't know it. I really wish I could be the one to tell you when it happens so I could watch you cry. There is nothing more sad than someone who bullies from behind a keyboard with the anonymity it provides.
R52 I didn't pay attention to the nay-Sayers. I know it comes with the territory at DL.
Off to the local community center to exercise (it's free). I heard exercise is good to clear the mind.
And more of that Tazo Calm tea. It really works!
Some more advice, OP, from things I've learned (mostly the hard way):
1. Remember: It's not what happens to us in this life, it's how we deal with it. Repeat this as a mantra if necessary.
2. Stop drinking. It truly is a depressant and keeps you passive. I started drinking heavily after I lost a job, two jobs ago, and if I hadn't, I would be making more money now.
3. Look into taking Vitamin D and B-12 megadoses. I have never had more energy since I started this regimen, and they help with my depression.
STOP drinking? Were you raised by puritans? Of course OP should drink. Just because you can't handle it doesn't mean he can't.
Hey OP I feel exactly as you do. I have no idea why I go through the day, do what I do, because it never seems to get better.
But I guess what I live for is the hope that it will get better. As long as you can manifest just a little hope, keep going.
On the other hand, if you truly are hopeless, at the end of your rope, and alone... suicide is not the worst thing in the world. Just don't do it until you have exhausted every single possible option in your life.
OP, no job here, no partner and since I got laid off last year, no friends. I agree with whoever said that friends want to be around people who are positive. As soon as things go south, friends become scarce. This is something I discovered years ago when my dad died and then again when my mom died.
I think about suicide. I've applied for hundreds of jobs and have interviewed for many but have not had any offers. I"m not being picky, either. The job market just sucks right now. Unemployment is paying for my teeny tiny studio but it will run out eventually. I often think that I will kill myself if by the time my unemployment runs out, I have not found anything.
And then I stop myself because that kind of thinking is never good and I don't want to kill myself because what if that isn't the end? What if my soul gets stuck paying some penance for taking my own life? So, i pick myself up and dust myself off. I try to focus on one day at a time. Today, I do have a roof over my head and food in the fridge. Today I will review job listings and apply for a number of jobs. I also started teaching myself Spanish and try to take walks every day to remain productive.
Basically, I stay busy and do whatever I can to change things for the better...and I don't think about tomorrow or cloud my mind with "what if's". I try not to let myself be sad which is hard especially this time of year that is so close to Mothers Day. My mom and I were great friends and I have missed her terribly since she passed away.
Keep on, OP. You are not alone in your struggle to be happy. There are others like you and me and the people who have pitched in with their stories. Hang in there, OP...and stay strong.
[quote]Stop drinking. It truly is a depressant and keeps you passive
That's true. I lost 5 years that way. I'm sort of in a stuck situation now (temporary, I hope), but at least I am not drinking.
Drinking is an antidote, so sorry so many of you Xtians can't see past your hippie fag saviour.
Their their op your going too be fine.
I am feel the same way. I have nothing but I carry on because I love my father and it would kill him if I took my life. I also feel so detached to the world of today, it is so completely different than the world I grew up in. I fantasize about going back to my childhood and growing older but the calendar years not progressing.
Some of you would really benefit from old-school or new-school (activism) volunteer work.
I love how OP is homeless, destitute, unemployed and utterly alone in this world....yet he has a credit card, a pricey electronic device, a working Internet connection and $18 to blow.
R57 you may be alone but there are many millions of people who feel the way you do. A lot of them are on Datalounge. A lot of them are in your city. A lot of them are, well, everywhere. People just don't talk about it much.
Remember that when you walk around seeing other people looking happy, they're not. Happy. Very few people are happy at all. The best you can do is enjoy life whenever possible, and manage to get through the rest of it intact.
R63 - why do I feel like you are the same person that goes nuts when people criticize how those on public assistance spend their (our) money?
[quote] yet he has a credit card and $18 to blow.
I explained it was a $20.00 gift card.
[quote] a pricey electronic device, a working Internet connection
You do know there are places like libraries and community centers that offer free internet to poor people?
If you don't speak French, Scarlett said in English:
"After all, tomorrow is another day."
In Autant en emporte le vent, Scarlett said:
"Après tout, demain le soleil brillera encore"...
I like the French translation: After all, tomorrow the sun will continue to shine...
And, OP, things will get better and the clouds of depression will lift, showing the light of your bright future.
P.S. I suspect the OP is trolling, but perhaps some truly depressed DLer will read this.
Op, you have nothing to die for. You have EVERYTHING to live for. You have YOU. Not to sound insensitive to your plight, but there is only one of you in the entire world. You mean something. You have touched people's lives, whether you know it or not. There's no reason on Earth to shuffle yourself into eternal oblivion. None. You do matter.
I agree with someone above who said that volunteering might help. You see others in your same predicament...reach out. Work at the soup kitchen, the food bank, the clothing bank. You can do so much good by giving of your time and support. You're smart and articulate...places are always looking for peer counselors who can help others with depression, loneliness, even suicidal ideation. You know what it's like from firsthand experience and think of all the good you can do by just reaching out.
You matter to me, a complete stranger. You matter to everyone here (who has a soul :)). Take it one day at a time and don't let the bastards win. :)
I mean, not to be evil or twatty, but if you are TRULY that alone (NO family/friends/etc) and are that unhappy and not making anything useful out of your life, it really isn't such a bad idea to think about removing yourself. The resources of the earth are being stretched thin by the 7 billion people leeching off of it...one less won't hurt anybody.
I know it's insensitive, but somebody had to offer the other opinion. All this glurgey lovey "you're worth it!" stuff is cute, but not necessarily honest.
R70...it's more honest than your bullshit. I hope you're never down and out and have to encounter some loathesome person like yourself.
[quote]I explained it was a $20.00 gift card.
And the rest of us know that gift cards do not come in the form of a credit card that you can use anywhere, but rather a card for a specific retailer. That also doesn't explain why you'd use $18 for a DL subscription instead of, say, food.
Also, why are you drinking expensive tea if you can't even afford a gym membership??
I lost my partner (he left.) Job. Deluxe apartment in the sky. Looked round and discovered without 1, 2 & 3, I had no friends. Health declined for no particular reason. This was 1983. I'm still depressed. So, I come here to bitch about things. It helps.
Clinical depression is a bitch. Get some meds, force yourself to take a short walks around the block every day. If concentrating on books is difficult, borrow films and television series from the library just to keep yourself amused. See if there's a local hospice, shelter or soup kitchen where you can volunteer one afternoon a week.
You can always kill yourself tomorrow, that option isn't going anywhere. Meanwhile, you may as well stick around and see how it goes. It usually gets better.
OP, turn away from your sinful lifestyle and turn to Jesus. It will be the answer to all your prayers.
OP, you wouldn't happen to be living in a rent controlled Manhattan apartment, would you?
OP, I have felt that way myself sometimes, but you just have to remind yourself none of the discouraging things are permanent. Something great, funny, or even just mildly enjoyable is gonna happen in the future -- why miss it?
Also, many suicide attempts go horribly wrong. You think things are bleak now, imagine being maimed or disfigured. Quit thinking it's an option. Tomorrow, you could find yourself on the streetcorner after being laughed out of the unemployment office or some other grim shit and STILL be in the right place at exactly the right time to help an old lady across the street, or find a 20 on the ground.
Hang in there, OP. I don't know how old you are. In my case, I'm in my early 30s and have been in a fog for a few years now. I can't start threads, I'd love to ask others at what age they got their shit together and re-started life on the right track. I sometimes feel I'm getting older fast to afford this depression, but being I can't get out of it, I spiral downwards a little bit more each year. I'm trying to fight it without medication, hopefully, things will turn around. What is the point of my post? It's that you're not alone with this problem. Other people, like myself, share your fear and pain. Let's get through this. Remember, the question we need to answer at the end of every day is: did we do at least one thing to help resolve our problem? Let's go, OP.
I feel you. Sometimes I wonder just how much one person can reasonably suffer without thinking of suicide, as I think of it every day. If only I had the energy to do it.
Someone wrote this on another thread. Seemed like a good fit here
"It doesn't matter how or what another person does. I don't live my life by the actions of others. I'm in control of me. I would never give a anyone power over my emotions. I'm also not 12 anymore. I'm young but old enough to know things happen. "
OP, start looking in the mirror every morning and repeat Stuart Smalley's daily affirmation:
Although I'm smart, financially comfortable, charismatic, movie star handsome, and in great shape, I, too, wonder what I have to live for because, although I once in a blue moon (and, alas, currently) have an all-consuming emotional & romantic attachment to an unavailable man, I have no real sexual desire for anyone.
Oh dear, r84. Movie star handsome, lol?
Even when one does not have a significant other, a partner, a boyfriend, love, a job, a job which one likes, enough money etc.
there are still plenty of things to enjoy and in which to be interested in life.
Cultivating interests makes life enjoyable and interesting and takes your mind off of yourself.