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The sex act is a disgusting anachronism

It's gross, it spreads disease, and thanks to the miracle of modern science, totally unnecessary for the continuation of the human species. We can create offspring in test tubes through in vitro fertilization now. It baffles me that this nasty co-mingling of bodily fluids continues to captivate people. Yes, it feels okay for half a minute when you're actually having an orgasm, but the very idea of putting my mouth anywhere on another person's body, much less inside some fluid-filled, bacteria-ridden orifice, has always struck me as unbelievably disgusting. And don't even get me started on ejaculation. I remember being 12 years old and pleasuring myself for the first time. I did it with my eyes closed, and thought I was in heaven when I had an orgasm. Imagine my horror when I opened my eyes and realized I'd spurted that sticky goo all over the place. I never got excited over that again.

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