ATTENTION: Would the following Datalounge Poster help answer the question (or if you are not him, you can answer it too)
I am the poster of the thread "Are you the sort that likes showing off or sort that keeps to themselves" thread.
Poster R5 said the following:
"Keep to myself. Obsessively private and humble.
My sister is the complete opposite. She updates her Fraubook page with her every move. Lots of pictures of her house, pets, everything."
To those who are humble and private in nature, what is your philosophy. I hope to attain your level of humility.
Being private is not a "philosophy," it's a recogntion that the more info you post, the easier it is for someone to hack into your accounts. Brag about your birthday and a hacker knows the reply to an important question for obtaining a "forgotten" password.
I know one stupid woman who is always telling FB friends her plans for trips. "We're going to a beach house in NC all next week" translates into "Our house will be empty for a week. You'll have plenty of time to take away all our electronic equipment."
I too am very private. At one job I had my nickname was Mr Enigma because I shared practically nothing about my private life. I've never really thought about it, but I think the reason is I am not interested in other peoples private life, so not wanting to share mine goes with the turf. Also, I think calling attention to oneself is sort of tacky. Years ago I had to sue someone I did business with in small claims court. Before the court date came up, we both got calls from the producers of The People's Court wanting to know if we would have the case heard there. The other party was all for it, but I was absolutely not. Even thought I knew I would win (and I did) there was no way I wanted people to know my business like that.
Why do you think calling attention to oneself is tacky R2, what are your reasons for thinking that? Did you gain that philosophy through life experience?
OP, I don't understand your question. Why on earth do you need someone to *explain* to you how not to be a narcissist? There's no "philosophy" to follow except ... well, to just do it. If you have a Facebook account, don't abuse it -- meaning don't think everyone (or, really, anyone) gives a shit about your every thought and daily activity. It's really no more difficult than accepting the fact that the world does not revolve around you, and that people like your sister are invariably either narcissists and/or black holes of need, in search of constant validation of their self-worth. (Hang around here a while and you'll encounter one of our more odious recent trolls, "Brandon," who fits the latter description.)
I don't know why I think its tacky. Maybe it was seeing people on shows like Springer airing their dirty laundry for everyone to see strikes me as... I really don't know what the word to use other than poor taste and a lack of pride. Also, I sometimes wonder if people who do that are really trying to over compensate for something else they feel is missing in their life.
R5, can you describe what kind of person you are in life. Are you very confident and wealthy?
Maybe that's why you are so humble; you self-actualized and perhaps the need to draw attention to oneself (like you stated) is because the individual feels something is missing in their life. I think that's the case with me. I have a lot missing in my life.
R4, read the OP again. The post I referenced was not made by me.
I would not say I am wealthy, but I do ok. My confidence is probably like a lot of others, there are plenty of times where I have my bouts with self doubt, but who doesn't?
[quote]Maybe that's why you are so humble; you self-actualized and perhaps the need to draw attention to oneself (like you stated) is because the individual feels something is missing in their life. I think that's the case with me. I have a lot missing in my life.
I don't know what it is you need OP, but that statement above is not correct. I have a lot missing in my life yet I'm very private and I'm not wealthy either. I think it probably has more to do with temperament. I'm introverted and shy around strangers (probably why I have things missing in my life), so I'm not interested in sharing all that much. Like R5, I'm not that interested in getting all the details about others' private lives either.
I get a lot of attention in my professional life. When I'm not working, I crave privacy and love to be alone.
When I have the opportunity, I won't see or speak to anyone for days at a time. It's great.
This is the same OP who is crapping out threads about how she has low self-esteem and would like to be less noisy and self-regarding and histrionic and irritating.
Wishes obviously don't come true. Yak yak yak yak.
R3, calling attention to yourself IS tacky. IT's self-absorbed and obnoxious in most cases. How can you not know this?