You're nothing but a crooked owner of vending machines!
You make kids think that there are red wierdos to keep them spending their money.
We both know that there are NEVER any red wierdos in the machines!!!
I like Missy's mother and her adamant "NO." Wonder if the actress appeared in anything else?
"Alright, this time we'll make an exception.
You may keep the doll AND the weirdo.
Thread killed by turning in to a tired Mommie Dearest thread.
I want to lick the asshole of the man who likes this stuff.
[quote]Thread killed by turning in to a tired Mommie Dearest thread.
We'll revive it by making it a thread about her films instead. I'll take THE WOMEN:
JOAN: Missy, there's a name for women like your mother. Only it isn't used in high society - outside of a kennel.
MISSY'S MOTHER: Is that anyway to talk to me after all I've done for you?
JOAN: Done what?
MISSY'S MOTHER: You didn't even know what a grocery store was when you drove Al Steele to his grave. After all, it wasn't easy to put you over.
JOAN: And who says you put me over?
MISSY'S MOTHER: I've gotten you into some of our very best supermarkets.
JOAN: Yes, for some of their very worst Spanish dinners!
LITTLE MISSY: And another thing: I think this old broad's outfit is perfectly ridiculous!
OP, enough. You had a hit thread. It's over. Have some pride and stop trying to make the magic happen all over again.
R31, it was never a hit. A bunch of Queens fawning over Crawford can never be a hit.
I like her delivery of the lines "green, like the grass green like the trees and Frankenstein's monster"
It's almost poetic, and I'm being serious.
I think Joan sees Missy as her redemption, a chance to get it right. She won't make the same mistakes she made with Christina.
[italic]Mommie Dearest 2: Syoopermarket Saga[/italic]
Faye as Joan: "Missy, bring me the plum tomatoes."
(Missy returns with plums.)
Faye as Joan: "These are plums."
(Starts throwing plums, one by one)
Faye as Joan: "N-o-t p-l-u-m t-o-m-a-t-o-e-s."
I can't figure out their schedule, but it looks like some time next week "The Lucy Show" on MeTV will feature the episode with Joanie. I think it's only shown in certain markets (e.g., L.A.) where "I Love Lucy" belongs to another station.
[quote]I like her delivery of the lines "green, like the grass green like the trees and Frankenstein's monster" It's almost poetic, and I'm being serious.
My favorite part too. It's almost like it was lifted from the soundtrack of one of Joan's early films.
My sister had a purse just like Missy's mom.
I don't know why, but I'm fascinated by the weirdos. Do you think they were made just for this film or they were they a real thing.
Google is no help here.
MISSY: I want a red weirdo!
JOAN: WOMAN - I'VE ASKED YOU TO KEEP MISSY QUIET TODAY!!!! - AND FOR CHRIST'S SAKE KEEP HER AWAY FROM THE VENDING MACHINES! Have Missy fetch my lobster.
MISSY: When I was a little girl, we used to say GHOOOOOD. Where does the grass come from.... ghooood. Rhubarb? OH NO, NOT rhuba----JOAN!"
JOAN: What do you think you're DOING?
MISSY: Nothing Joan. I was just playing.
JOAN: You makin' fun of me?
MISSY: No, I was just..
JOAN: Give me that!
Joan snatches the weirdo out of Missy's hands, she then tips over the vending machine - hundreds of coins fall out onto the floor.
MISSY: What are you doing?
JOAN: Don't you tell me what I'm doing. Don't you tell me.
MISSY: Oh Joan - don't!
JOAN: Pick 'em up. Pick 'em all up. Pick 'em Missy. Pick 'em! You don't know what filth is inside of these machines. Pick the coins! Wipe 'em down and put 'em in my purse!!!
Missy is forced to get down on her hands and knees to collect the change.
JOAN: You're always rummaging through the vending machines spending your mother's money on weirdos. This ought to teach you! YOU VAIN, SPOILED--
Joan smashes the casing and dozens of weirdos fall out.
Joan takes a pair of sharp scissors out of her pocket and points it at Missy's face with a deranged grimace
MISSY: Joan, please DON'T!!!!
Joan turns to the heap of weirdos and starts cutting them off from their strings
MISSY: Not the red weirdos!
JOAN: YOU'VE SPOILED THEM JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER'S SPOILED YOU!!!! Get up. Get up. Clean up this mess. Put the weirdos back in the machine.
JOAN: You figure it out. After all, where do you think WEIRDOS come from?
MISSY (sobbing): The supermarket!!!
Boys and girls, how come in the "Stanwyck on Crawford: "Crawford was so lousy, so ... " thread from last year there was not one mention, (that I saw)of Joan's glorious drunken slurrings in the back of a limo with Sirley Eder? The thread contained a link to a Youtube video with five conversations between Barbara Stanwyck, Shirley Eder and Joan Crawford. The whole thing is pretty amazing, (Shirley Eder sucks up to Joan but turns around and gossips about her behind her back with Barbara), but Joan pontificating about how "Jesus flings it" and calling herself "boss lady" tops it all. Here's the link, (Joans drunken adventures start at 24:10):
Turns out my calculations were correct! The Joan ep of "The Lucy Show" was on this morning. The plot? Lucy and Viv (visiting from back East) are motoring when Lucy's car breaks down. They hoof it to the nearest house to call the Auto Club and of course it turns out to be Joan's mansion! When we first see her (prior to Lucy's arrival), she's dressed like a cleaning woman (hair covered with a scarf, etc.) and cleaning her banister and newel post with a brush and a rag. The living room is completely devoid of furniture. She's speaking with her agent (Lew Parker, a/k/a Ann Marie's father) who has to utter this ludicrous line with a straight face: "But Joan, the studio receives thousands of letters every week beggin for another Joan Crawford picture!"
Joan demurs, stating that she has plenty of money and doesn't want to work anymore. The agent leaves and Lucy and Viv show up. They don't immediately recognize Joan and assume she's a cleaning lady. Joan offers the use of their phone and then brings out some lemonade for the three of them to share. (What, no Pepsi?) She claims to have made the lemonade herself. Eventually Lucy and Viv recognize her but don't let on, and they assume she's fallen on hard times due to her attire and the lack of furniture. They scheme to get Mr. Mooney to come up with $100 worth of food to bring her under the guise of an award to Joan for being a Good Samaritan. While delivering the food, they convince her to appear in a play to earn money for the charity. Joan agrees.
Next up: The play, "Speakeasy Daze," by Lucille Carmichael. Lucy and Viv play dance hostesses (Rusty and Cuddles, respectively) in the '20s (dressed as the oldest flappers you've ever seen.) Joan comes in as the new girl in town, "Cynthia" (dressed like Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm +50 years.) Rusty and Cuddles drink gin, but Cynthia claims she only drinks milk. (Again, no Pepsi?) Rusty and Cuddles convince Cynthia that "gin" is short for "ginger ale" and Cynthia downs two glasses, neat. (No acting required on Joan's part for that scene.) Mr. Mooney plays Scarface and ends up doing a very tepid Charleston with Joan.
Eventually they're back Chez Joan where everything is straightened out and Joan (wearing a CAFTAN!) is overwhelmed by the outpouring of demand for her services after the success of the charity show (seriously? From a little theater show that had one performance?)
I always thought that episode odd.
That Joan would agree to play a maid? I guess it was to make it seem as though her lifeless career was because she enjoyed domesticity.
She's speaking with her agent (Lew Parker, a/k/a Ann Marie's father) who has to utter this ludicrous line with a straight face: "But Joan, the studio receives thousands of letters every week beggin for another Joan Crawford picture!"
She probably wrote that line (if not, the script) herself.
In the last video of her before she retired from public life, you can see she still liked to keep up the pretense that she was still in demand:
The last time they saw each other was about four years before Joan's death, R49. But Joan sent Christmas and birthday cards and gifts until her death.
I can't imagine "Surviving Mommie Dearest" having much of a market, what gay would go to see that?