Feeling guilty/shameful after a sexual encounter in a men's room.
It just sort of happened, if that makes sense. This cute guy and I were cruising each other in Barnes & Noble. He followed me into the men's room, took the urinal next to me, and started smiling. We were both rock hard. I was just so horned up. He motioned for me to follow him into the back handicapped stall, where we proceeded to take turns blowing each other. He even fingered me. This was early afternoon, so the store was relatively empty and the bathroom saw hardly any traffic. Plus we were very quiet. It was incredibly hot when it happened, but now I feel like a POS. I feel I need to dip my body in bleach, and I can't even look at myself in the mirror.
Not sure why I feel so weird, like a common whore. It's not as though I haven't done this in the past, but I never had such a negative reaction. Maybe it's because I suspect the guy was married...he gave off a married/closeted vibe and I think I saw a ring. Maybe it's because I'm sort of in a relationship...it's in its infancy and we're far from the point of pledging monogamy, but still am feeling guilty.
Trying to de-stress over this and tell myself it's not such a big deal. Again, I've done this before without any psychological consequences. Also, we all do it...this type of activity is just part of our "DNgay", so what I did is hardly an anomaly in gay culture. ugh, hopefully I'll wake up tomorrow feeling better about myself, but right now I feel crappy. Right now I need some virtual hugs :(
Do I really need to say it?
No, we don't all do it. Seriously, rid yourself of that justification first.
Your dead grandmother saw you
I don't know why you feel so bad either.
"Also, we all do it...this type of activity is just part of our "DNgay","
Um, no. If it was you wouldn't feel so crappy about it. You know, what works for us once upon a time, doesn't necessarily work for the rest of our lives. I LOVED having anonymous hook ups. But after a while--bleh. I got all I could get out of the experiences, and then the law of diminishing returns kicked in. There's a limit to the amount of time and energy you should spend on anything, and if you're feeling crappy afterwards about participating in anything, it's your "soul" telling you it's time to move on.
Just listen to yourself and learn from the experience.
You in Draino, gurl!
I cannot become sexually aroused anywhere within 10 feet of a toilet, especially a public toilet! Eww.
OP, don't feel guilty or dirty. Remember the hot experience and feel VERY lucky you did not get caught in a decoy police sting.
If the other dude had been a vice cop, you would not have had any sex other than grabbing for him and then a police arrest followed by possible licensed sex offender charge.
This still goes on today not just in red neck type states.
Can I have your District?
Most gay guys are complete whores, you would never catch us lesbians doing stuff like that. We have standards and self respect.
[quote]Also, we all do it
Speak for yourself.
I'm with R9.
Sounds hot. Enjoy the dirty feeling. Relish in it. Probably best not to repeat it.
You're over it. You're just figuring that part out.
1. My friend who used to do this goes to Sex Addicts Anonymous now because he, too, felt like a common whore afterwards.
2: I'm with R7: have sex next to a toilet? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
3: 1978 called. He wants his kind of sexing back.
So, did you buy a book or what?
Yes, Cristal, R1, we really need you to say it. You're so original. Do you also post as Helen Lawson?
[quote]If the other dude had been a vice cop... This still goes on today not just in red neck type states.
And for good fucking reason. Christ, get a room.
You are really out of touch
Don't feel guilty. Just tell yourself it was all a big accident. Your dicks accidently fell into each other's mouths. It has been known to happen. It's happened to me in at least a dozen airport restrooms
You know what? don't beat yourself up. I did something about 6 months ago, and when I was driving home, I thought what in the hell was I thinking? I called my best-friend, told her about it, and she laughed. We do stupid shit, but learn from it, that's all. I wouldn't do it again, and I was safe, so no worries there. Just put it behind you and move on. No big deal.
And I'm a lesbian, so there.
It's not his first time, though, R20. There's something wrong with him. Probably just slightly, but wrong nonetheless. Probably no worse than low self esteem. Still, he's kind of skeevy.
OP, you feel guilt because you know deep down inside it is wrong what you did. You have to figure out yourself what was wrong about it. Giving yourself so freely to strangers really does hurt you. Sex should be with a partner you love. Perhaps one day you will come to know that. Many people do not and lives are ruined. Good luck.
[quote]Sex should be with a partner you love.
True, even if the relationship lasts no longer than ten minutes.
I disagree. Sex should be with someone who's name you know. And Hung9_Aussie doesn't count.
[quote]Sex should be with a partner you love.
That's typical Fundie Frau mentality. Sex is a wonderful sport. It's recreation. It's time to drop the insipid church-inspired definition of what sex is all about.
Hung9_Aussie is real!
I don't blame you... the stench of urinal cakes always turns me on, too.
So you saw a ring, he fingered you, and then it disappeared? Congrats, I think you are engaged!!
Um, they're called Polish Mints, r29.
LOL r29! Never heard that before!
Um, could it be because what you did was skeevy, sleezy and kind of dangerous, even? That could have been a vice cop, someone with AIDS, someone who cut your dick off with a pen knife. What a stupid, degrading, irresponsible thing to do. Someone could have discovered you.
How could you question WHY you feel as you do? You KNOW what you did. Next time you might just find your Mr. Goodbar.
Relax, OP. Don't let these puritanical sex-o-phobes try to shame you.
While it might be true that we all don't do this - anymore - and while it is true that there are certain perils to this kind of behavior ...
it sounds like what happened was very spontaneous and HOT.
Enjoy the memory!
Did anything kinky happen like anal fisting or rimming go on? If not and it was just a blow job through a glory hole don't sweat it.Then again who knows what icky diseases that married fool might have.....
Aaaaawwwww - patting OP on the back - it's okay. If it really makes you feel so bad just don't anything like that again. Mistakes happen and you are not a bad egg.
(As long you don't turn around and cry rape and have two adolescent boys thrown in prison and put on the sex offender registry for the rest of their lives like that dainty, delicate little flower in Stuebenville you have nothing to feel bad about.)
In twenty years this type of behavior will be completely foreign to gay kids.
They'll hear these stories and ask "What's a book store?"
Is this the Catholic church message boards?
The troll at r36 posted in another thread that it's "a woman who does not like other women." Maybe she thinks that trashing rape victims and being a female misogynist makes her oh so special and edgy and subversive, but sadly, she's just a dime a dozen.
Casual sex? No problem?
If a fucking TOILET? Gross!
Oh for christssakes, don't feel guilty. It happened. It's not the most honorable thing in the world, but it's not the end of the world eitehr.
You're lucky that you didn't get caught. And you should always be concerned about that and about having sefe sex. But nonetheless, crazy, illicit sex is part of life preferebly not in a public bathroom, but it's done and you didn't get caught--so enjoy the hot memory of the hot sex.
And yes, illicit sex may happen again when you least expect it in another unlikely place. Enjoy yourself, but be careful. Guilt is the gift that keeps on giving. Don't be consumed by it.
[quote]followed by possible licensed sex offender charge.
Sorry, but "licensed" made me laugh.
Spontaneous sex with a hot looking stranger in public place. Not only that, but the stranger gave off a married vibe!
Sounds like a fabulous, memorable experience.
Sex with clothes on is hot.
Doing it in a men's room is wonderfully down and dirty.
And the danger just heightens everything.
Some of the comments here sound like they're coming from a bunch of Mormons.
If you're cool with your head on straight, you'll chalk this up as a fun sexy experience... what you don't want to be is addicted to this kind of stuff or to waste your time seeking it out.
Another lesbian with r20. Seriously, OP, you're not going to regret this on your deathbed, unless you caught something that puts you there sooner than you expected.
This is an EST, right?
If it makes you that uncomfortable, do something to make it right, or at least a learning experience. Go to the doctor or clinic and get tested. Decide not to do it again. Come up with a plan to avoid being in that position, and I don't just mean on your knees in a public toilet. There's no point in beating yourself up over this; learn and move on.
Exciting Sex in a Toilet
"Giving yourself so freely to strangers really does hurt you"
Land sakes, what's become of us?
I've never read so much bullshit sanctimonious anti-sex anti-naughty fun crap.
OP, you did something a bit naughty, but it was fun. You're feeling guilty because the message that 'sex is bad' has got to you. Shrug it off. You're not a whore, not a slut, not wicked. You're not a pervert. You don't have to do t again, but the sky isn't falling because you did.
All across America and the whole world, men and men, women and men, women and women, hook up for naughty bits of sex, in all manner of paces. Ignore the Talibfrau who woud like to punish you like in some shitty third world repressive regime. Two guys played sucky-sucky for a while. No innocent bystanders were harmed in the making of ths experience.
Undress, lie back, remember how hot it was, and enjoy touching your hot body however feels good while you enjoy your own bdy. The guy wasn't arried, nor are you. You're good.
OP, most importantly, did you make a good sexit?
You did nothing wrong (except legally, of course).
Ignore the anti-sex police here.
Oh, sweet youth, I miss you NOT! As I approach 60, I've realized just two things. One, there is a lot more life behind me than in front of me. And, two, I never should have lived this long anyhow. Everything else is the icing on the cake. All the drugs, booze, sex, orgies, sneaking, kinky, men, affairs, all of it, delicious icing on the cake. The older I get, the more fondly I look back at the beautiful men I happened upon. Yes, it is a different time, a different reality, even different circumstances. There are more important things to worry about, dear OP. Don't beat yourself up over this "indiscretion", time for that will come much, much later. For now enjoy the memory, feeling, and sharing.
Regret is for suckers. Your MISTAKE was licking the spooge off the floor, or NOT licking the spooge off the floor if your a cum guzzler.
Sounds like a hot spontaneous adventure.
Quite some time ago I got over feeling guilty about quick sex, or any kind of sex.
Now if you have sex in public places serially you may have a little bit of a problem like all compulsive behavior.
But an occasional adventure? I have had several in my lifetime- some of them incredibly erotic. Both parties had fun, no harm done of course.
Why do people put so many clauses on sex? Sheesh- it is what it is and NOT just for love-whatever that is to an individual. Anyone who thinks that simply does not know about human behavior and needs (or life) since the beginning of time.
[quote]Land sakes, what's become of us?
Is that the double negative of pearl clutching?
[quote]Anyone who thinks that simply does not know about human behavior and needs (or life) since the beginning of time.
Yeah, loved sex back in the good old days.
Don't ever feel guilty about sex OP
No, but you might give a thought to where you have it.
It's mopping up spunk that really makes this my dream job.
[quote] Giving yourself so freely to strangers really does hurt you. Sex should be with a partner you love.
Human beings have been around for tens of thousands of years. Love has been a part of sex for less than 500.
And don't worry OP, you are part of a grand tradition!
Mansfield 1962 Men's Room
Shitting's been around for as long, R63, but guess what? We figured out how to take a better shit over time.
Unless you have two assholes or something R65, I am sure shitting is pretty much the same as it always has been.
Except now we don't do it wherever we like, for lots of sensible reasons. Not surprized that escaped you.
It didn't escape me. I was commenting on how stupid your point was.
you just don't get it.
Just own it, OP. Your own statement contradicts itself.
You cannot say both
[quote] It just sort of happened, if that makes sense.
[quote] This cute guy and I were cruising each other in Barnes & Noble
You looked, you wanted, you had. Own it, admit it and move on.
If you feel ashamed, then don't cruise strangers in public rest rooms. Because no one will buy the coquettish aftermath where you fan yourself and say "Mercy, Miss Melanie, I just don't KNOW what came OVER me!"
Well, *I* know. It was some stranger's cock that came over you!
And I had to mop it up.
I let this guy blow me once, and right after he ejaculated he goes, "Oh man...this is the part where the guilt and shame sets in." I was like "HUH??" It was fucking bizarre. Then I got this worried feeling that he was gonna beat me up or some shit in order to rectify it to himself. Dude was a head case. Never met up with him again.
Were you in a public washroom?
No. His apartment.
OP = reason why they hate us.
All these references to "the janitor" make me laugh. Barnes & Noble stores don't have janitors; the same employees who ring up your sales or make you coffee also mop the washrooms.
I am the voice of janitors everywhere. Sticky soled janitors, livin' the dream. And mopping spooge.
[quote]the same employees who ring up your sales or make you coffee also mop the washrooms.
Gross! When the cashier hands you your bag, you can hope he washed his hands after cleaning the mens room.
The destructive ripple effect of this sordid, anti social behaviour may yet wash over us all! I feel dirty. And slightly sticky myself.
did OP ever get his cyber hugs?
[quote]you just don't get it.
I do get it R65. You are saying because we once did something one way is no argument to continue doing it the same way, since we have grown as people. But you were addressing me at R63. My point is your argument has nothing to do with what I said at r63 said. I was saying, "what's love got to do with it?"
No that's not what I meant at all. Never mind. Good night. And luck.
[quote]He even fingered me.
I hope he didn't flip through any of the magazines or books afterwards.