- Undoubtedly furs from Dicker and Dicker of Beverly Hills.
- Mrs. Forrest Tucker will make a return visit, but this time she will enter sitting side saddle on Mr. Tucker's enormous peen. For the finale, she will have her husband penetrate her and then spin her around like a giant wheel of fortune.
- I sure would like to have one of his dresses but they cost $500!
- Mrs. Dean Martin hasn't shown her face in public for DAYS. People are beginning to talk.
- Someone tell that Mertz woman that the service entrance is around back. Don't let her come in the front of the salon!
- Make sure Mrs. Ricky Riccardo uses sunblock this year, preferably SPF 150.
- Don geeves daamn goooood 'ead. He gave me a beeg discount on Loocy's draahss to suck on my Cooban saw-seege.
- Once again, Mrs. Joel McCrea will not be participating in the show as she is once again "vacationing" in Europe. I wish her well and pray that her face heals nicely. So, I am in need of participants. If you would like to be considered, please either let me or Mr. Loper know at once. But please understand, as we are pressed for time, we cannot accept you unfortunate dears outside of sample size.
- You could never disappoint with a Lucy quip.
- Seem to remember reading the 'real' Don Loper got stagefright just a day before taping, and an actor was brought in . Is that Don , or did they really find a queeny actor to talk that way ?
- I'm available!
- Don't be redick, darling! That WAS me! I was a dancer for years and never get stage fright! Heaven forfend! Sheila, get me the Pink Mink!
- I have no idea what or who Don Loper is, but something tells me there will be a LOT of Dennis Brasso 'fashion' items on display!
- r13 is missing out.
- In the program this year, please take the time to get my name right.
It's not "Mrs. Richard Carlson" -- it's "The Lovely Mrs. Richard Carlson."
- Mrs. Neil Patrick Harris
Mrs. Elton John
Mrs. Matt Bomer
Mrs. Cheyenne Jackson
Mrs. George Takei
- I'll be staying at the Knickerbocker. Call if I can be of service.
- I'll watch but will not participate. I'll be wearing my Paris original horse feed-bucket hat to the show!
- Moi! (Sorry for the stinky linky)
- [quote]Mrs. Ethel Louse Mertz
Must have been written by Fred.
- Sheila, dear, I'm afraid I can't make it. Jacques Marcel is showcasing his latest line that same day in Paris, and I promised him I would attend. I hear they're [italic]très outré![/italic]
Well, toodles! Je te dis merde!
- BUMP for Don Loper's new 1959 line!
Now who is going to model it?
- I'll make my own Loper!
Ethel Mae Potter
We never forgot her
- Noon, Mrs. Ricard. NOON!!!
- Big nose, big...
- Ethel had three different middle names on three different episodes:
Ethel Mae Potter, we never forgot her!
"Come, Ethel Roberta!" (The Million Dollar Idea)
"Ethel Louise Mertz!" (Lucy and Ethel Buy the Same Dress)
- The coveted tag!
- Pfft. Why waste your time with Don Loper when you can be wearing tasteful garments from the Dorcus line?
- Judy and Vincente with Don Loper at his salon:
- I thought Lucy totally rocked the feed bag hat and potato sack dress. She owned it and was strutting her stuff with the catwalk expression.
- [quote]I thought Lucy totally rocked the feed bag hat and potato sack dress. She owned it and was strutting her stuff with the catwalk expression.
She didn't get it from us.
- Mrs. Alan Ladd just called. She wants to wear her blue dress with the white collar and cuffs.
Maybe Mrs. Ricky Ricardo can wear the new Irish tweed suit we just made.
Mr. Loper, will you call her?
- Of course.
And I have to remind her that altered clothing cannot be returned.
- Ethel Mae was actually used on two episodes (also the one with Tallulah Bankhead, where's she's pretending to be the maid, Ethel Mae). So it gets precedence.
- Mrs. Richard Carlson, dear, that is indeed me on the show. I out-queened Franklin Pangborn.
I think what you are remembering is that Dore Schary got stage fright, so they hired actor Phillip Ober (Viv Vance's abusive husband) to play Schary.
- Mrs. Forrest Tucker just called. Forrest took her anally last night and she says she can't walk straight today.
What about Mrs. Ernest Borgnine?
- Can I buy a Don Loper from the Spiegel Catalog?
- Does Don's salon have any doors or curtains I can open?
- No, Carol, it doesn't. But it does have a nice staircase that you can walk up and down....it looks a lot like the staircase in that gangster movie they're making over at MGM....where the showgirl is walking down it and gets shot....
- And there aren't any racks to paw through either.
- I'd better stock up on the Unguentine.
That was a year or so later in Paris, not at Loper's salon.
- Mrs. Jake Gyllenhall
in a new Loper creation
christened 'June Bride'
- [quote]What about Mrs. Ernest Borgnine?
She'll be coming with Ernest's Dutch oven.
- "Mrs. Matt Dillon wears a daytime creation entitled 'Mind Your Manners'. It's hand sewn organza in a fabulous new color I call 'Blew Boy'. It's enhanced with a simple polka dotted sash that just screams sex !"
- "Here's Mrs. Chace Crawford in a new gala creation entitled 'Fu That Manchu'. It's made of 100% embroidered silk in colors of 'Santorum Spill' and gold. The sleeves are easily removed to allow for formal fisting. Thank you dear ......... "
- Does the man know any numbers besides 5-0-0?
- "Ah, the latest Mrs. Eddie Murphy in a daytime ensemble we call 'Third World Country Frock'. Created of hand painted panels of cheap cotton, sewn together with a 22 gauge industrial needle. The blue blazer softens the look and keeps the admirer from having an epileptic hissy fit."
- "and here we have Christina, Duchess of Herefordshire, and future consort of Prince Edward in a white satin gown we
call 'Royal Scandal'. The bodice is trimmed in silk ribbon in a color we call 'Ice Blue'. As you can see from the cut of the neckline, it is designed to wear with rows of pearls or without to show off that ample chest hair. Thank you darling ... "
- "Next we have the lovely Mrs. Jonah Hill in a fabulous bridal gown we call 'Naughty Naughty Naughty'. Long tiered white taffeta drapes the full figured gal with white near nude chiffon sleeves with lace applique hand made by blind nuns in Belgium from the Venable Order. Delicate seed pearls soften her look to create a svelte waistline.........."
- Apprehended by Jerry Lewis after a drunk driving hit and run....now THAT would have made a great I Love Lucy episode.