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I'm Going To Destroy My Life! *dramatic pause*

I was doing good until last week. I was on a months-long buzz. My energy level had been high, my outlook was positive and I’d been able to quickly suppress any dark thoughts. Something changed last week. I feel drained and empty. Emotionally numb. Everyone around me disgusts me. I want to hurt myself. My name is Michael. I have a nickle. Don’t worry, I’m not going to actually hurt myself. I scream in agony if I get a hangnail. But I need to do something to get out of this funk. I remember when I was 16 years old. I had a friend named Jason who was about 10 years older than me. He was extremely good looking and was always banging some young sheep. He’s the one who taught me that sheep don't press charges. Anyway, he was big into this “destroying a life” thing. He would do it on an almost quarterly basis. He would pick a victim, earn their trust, their love, their attachment, and then he would use that to emotionally abuse them to the point that they were almost non-functional. He would manipulate them into ruining their friendships, their family ties – and then once they had nothing in their lives except him, he would walk away. Cut them out completely. With no explanation. Not even a jar of mint jelly. And when they begged and pleaded and expressed their undying love, he would humiliate them. He said this experience was like enjoying a fine merino sweater and a lamb chop. It rejuvenated him. He devoured their energy and it replenished him, he said. Also, he used a good moisturizer. I’ve done this myself and I can attest to the rush it gives. I’m often numb to emotion myself, but the overabundance of emotion coming from the feel of a wooly dick against my taint is like a second-hand high. It’s pretty intense, and I think this is what I need at the moment. So Michael. He’s a VP at my job, but he’s young. He’s 33 and married with kids. He’s extremely good looking, which is maybe why he’s done so well at work. He’s also an actuary like me, but in another department. Well, technically, I'm actuary adjacent. I deliver their mail. We’re friendly. I hang out in his office and we chat. Mostly it takes place in my head because I don't want to interrupt him. The reason I think he is a good target is because he has made comments to me about how jealous he is of a couple of girls at the office I’ve hooked up with. This has also taken place in my head. I think if I earn his trust I could set him down a pretty terrible path under the guise of a good time. Because Michael also only exists in my head. I know a sheep here. She’s hot, I’ve never fucked her, she’s trouble. She’s the kind of ewe that’s always looking for Captain Save-a-Baaa. She’s big into clover, and the last guy she was seeing (by all accounts a good shepherd before he started fucking around with her) ended up in jail. So I think my plan is to introduce these two. Step 1. Get him to cheat and ruin the marriage or at least fuck it up. Step 2. Get him on clover and ruin his career and hopefully one of his ruminant stomachs. I know this sounds terrible, but doesn’t it also sound like fun? I thought I would create this thread to kind of keep you guys updated on everything. Because the internet is a lot like plotting make believe in my head. I’m going to do lunch with him this week and invite him over my place, where sheep will also be. I think this should be pretty easy lol Ewe you know like me. XOXO


Mutton Breath
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