Days. I hate people. Too bad I have to go out for milk later.
So far, 45 years.
Weeks. The older I get the more I hate people.
Physical contact? Years.
People irritate me. I'd like to live on an uncharted tropical isle, with maybe a trained chimp as my companion.
3 or 4 days. And it's more cabin fever, being in the same place for days on end, that pushes me to get out, not the desire to be around people.
I wouldn't mind meaningful, interesting human contact. It seems like that has been years. I have no interest in the rest, though I am forced to have some due to job and other stuff.
Forever would be ideal. Need animals & birds around, people just get in the way.
Brandon? Is that you?
But r6 who will sew your nose and hands back on when the chimp rips them off?
[quote]People irritate me. I'd like to live on an uncharted tropical isle, with maybe a trained chimp as my companion.
Pray for Mojo.
Months, and then when I get it, interacting with a cashier or a waitress is enough.
But take away the internet, which is human contact of a kind, and I'm a basketcase in less than 24 hours.
I don't get people who not only need others, but will happily accept anyone to satisfy that need. Human contact is great, but it has to be GOOD contact.
R14 when my internet is down books are my backup.
Support group for avoidant personality disorder is forming down at the little church on Main St.
When I left home at 18 I stayed 17 days until I spoke with someone who I was going to meet again (she was my neighbour and we became friends a year later). Before that I only had exchanges with store clerks and guys who would come on to me.
I can, for a lengthy time, but get increasingly eccentric in the process. I start talking to trees like they're human and shit.
It would be interesting to test this out. I know I can happily spend weekends in total isolation. I even spend many weekends in a media blackout - no TV, papers, radio or internet. I spend my time in silence or listening to music.
R20, I talk to trees & other plants, even rocks. I don't expect them to listen & perhaps respond, the way I do with animals & birds & snails, etc., but I do speak to them. Wouldn't it be rude not to?
Maybe a couple of days. In fact, I NEED a couple of days away from humans every so often.
But I get weak and it becomes difficult to maintain my persona if I don't have I to ate contact with someone after several days.
I'm quite isolated. I can get in the car and drive to town and interact with people on an impersonal level but if I stay home I could go for months or more without seeing a soul. No doubt it's negatively affected me but I'm not able to judge the extent of it. It's just my life.
Hell is other people.
Depends who's on Cam 4.
I enjoy my alone time a great deal due to the hectic pace of my job on a daily basis. But any more than a day at a time is not good for me.
I have a roommate who cannot live on his own for a few minutes. He's on his phone again.
How long can I go without human contact? .........The rest of my life!
If I didn't have to for work...forever
I routinely go 3 days... from leaving work Friday to showing up Monday morning, I generally have no human contact at all, save for ordering from a waiter/waitress, or interacting with the check-out person at the grocery store.
Long holiday weekends tend to just make that time longer.
Last Thanksgiving, I didn't see another human being (except the exceptions noted above) between leaving work on Tuesday evening, until returning to work on Monday morning (we get the Wednesday before Thanksgiving off as well as the Friday after).
When it gets THAT long, it starts to bother me a little. But the older I get and the more often it happens, the more used to it I get.
I could live alone on an orbiting space station for years and I'd be just fine.
I like people and relationships but I don't NEED them.
Forever, but I wanted a relationship so there is one person I see all the time. It's difficult but worth it. Other than my partner, I don't care if I never see anyone ever again.
Avoidant Personality Disorder is a thing? 0ff to Google, but tell me more
I usually need to see a cashier for a two-second transaction about once a week. But other than that, datalounge is good enough. I try to get out every other day so I can see people going about their business, but I don't actually have to interact with them, seeing them is enough.
That said if I go a long time without talking to anyone I will babble on about nothing until they stop me.
[quote]I could live alone on an orbiting space station for years and I'd be just fine. I like people and relationships but I don't NEED them,
I could have written that. I want sex fairly regularly, but otherwise I could go without interaction indefinitely.
I do have a couple friends who I don't see often, but when we get together we talk for hours on end as if no time had passed at all.
I love going out into the world, but I hate dealing with people. Fortunately I go out mostly during weekdays, and have very little contact with people.
I crave daily, hourly human contact (in the form of TOUCH)
I don't get it though. I'll go days, even weeks, without anyone touching me in any significant way.
I'm sure it has a negative effect on me.
For a while last year, I actually paid to get a massage once or twice a month, just to have another man's hands touch me.
Interesting. Either the thread itself attracted more responses, or there are a lot of us loners (used to be such an unfortunate word,) out here. We should get together!
I've never had a lot of friends, I'm not good with people and they generally don't like me. I have always been with my immediate family and my sister is my only 'friend'. Sometimes I think I could handle being alone if my family wasn't around, but I'm not sure because I've never been COMPLETELY alone - no friends, but I have my family. I can't get along with people or connect with anyone so I'm going to end up totally alone at some point. Don't know if I can handle it, hope I can because that's my future.
I too wish it could be forever.
When I was an adolescent, my favorite fantasy was to live in a world where I was the only person on the planet.
I used to be very insecure and constantly needed reassurance from other people that I was OK. But that was over by the time I hit my mid-30s. Now that I'm in my mid-50s I'm just done with people in general.
My fantasy right now is to work from home.
In screening people for possible depression, a common question is: "When was the last time you spoke with someone?"
As for me, I start to get sad if more than a day goes by without talking to/touching someone else.
A lot of you are doing a terrific impersonation of Burgess Meredith in that classic TZ episode. How can you be so isolated, and WANT to be so? Have you been hurt THAT much, that walling yourselves off is the answer?
[quote]"When was the last time you spoke with someone?"
Does a waiter or check-out person at the grocery count?
Because if you ask me pretty much any Sunday night when the last time I actually SPOKE to a person other than someone like that...the answer would generally be "two days ago", referring to Friday afternoon when I probably talked to someone at work.
The number of times I talk to someone who isn't a coworker, about things that aren't related to work... or a waiter/clerk, is honestly pretty rare. I think I've gone weeks sometimes.
[quote]How can you be so isolated, and WANT to be so?
I'm sorry, but have you MET other people?
If I go too long alone, I start to imagine people on datalounge know which posts are mine and are deliberately following me around harrassing me.
When I became disabled and stopped working 9 years ago, I slowly started to live a loner's life. Have no friends but aside from not having someone to do stuff with I kinda enjoy solitude. It is certainly not for everyone but to each his own. Pets are better than most people, they give you unconditional love, companionship and friendship.
I like being alone but I enjoy interacting with others too. Had a houseful yesterday for a friends 30th birthday and had a great time. Today, it's lovely to be lounging alone on the couch with my dogs.
I spend every weekend alone. And if I take a vacation for a week, that's alone too. I have no boyfriend and few friends. At work I socialize well, but I am happier when I'm home with my cats, my garden, and NO PEOPLE.
Does talking to people on the Internet count? I have a regular conversation going with some friends who live halfway across the country. We check in every day via Facebook.
I'm married so I'm rarely totally alone although we both do our separate things (he's downstairs watching the World Cup at the moment) . But when he's away for a couple of days, I do get a little buggy, so I suspect that if he were not in the picture, I would be more proactive about seeking out activities with friends or even (gasp!) meeting new friends.
I was diagnosed with a terminal illness in March. Since then, I've been pretty much on my own. The only person I have have had a face to face conversation this month is my doctor.
My so called friends who acted all concerned when they found out have all but disappeared. I can't do normal things like go out to eat or to the movies because of the nasty side effects from the drugs I'm on--constant diarrhea.
It's more distressing to me to be stuck at home all the time than being isolated from other people. Am having a hard time adjusting to the fact that I can't go hiking or take a road trip any more.
Define "human" OP
Very sad R52.
[quote]Support group for avoidant personality disorder is forming down at the little church on Main St.
Do we get separate rooms?
Sorry, R52 :( Hang in there.
You're a whore, darlin'.
[quote] Have you been hurt THAT much, that walling yourselves off is the answer?
Have you phoned your friends recently R52? Have you invited any of them to visit?
I know someone who complains that his friends never call. He never calls them. There needs to be a two way street.
R52 Please start a thread of your own where we could chat with you. I'm very sorry you are having a tough time and it might be good to have a place to vent, 'talk' to others etc... I really do wish you the best. There's also a great TV show airing the UK on Channel 4 called 'My Last Summer'. Check it out as it might be a good resource for you.
Come back R52.
What R7 said. Only child, live solo, a dweller on the outter social fringes. Realized early on that I need a quiet space of my own to detox and recharge. I so rarely met people of interest that I long ago lost the impetus to be bothered with social contact. But on those very rare occasions that I do come across a kindred spirit, contact is indeed a true joy.
I can go for a few days, but I do like getting together with friends for dinner or a movie.
I think us as social people was more an idea of the middle ages and before, because you could not survive on your own with out the support of a family or a clan. Also religious dogmas determined how people had to live.
I now like long periods without human contact. My work had me dealing with huge amounts of people - all around the globe. At one event, we were told to expect 30,000 but a quarter million showed up. I've been to more than 50 nations so it's time to stay home where it's peaceful and quiet with no more travel.
Honestly a month. I'm a writer constantly interrupted by people and having to live in the world of people. I know I could write a whole novel and a damn good one if only I had one entire month of peace.
It was also a joke when I was a copywriter in an ad agency as I was actually expected to work in a cube farm full of immature noisy people. I did most of my work at home and brought it in. I'd use work hours to collect research and just have to tolerate all the chattering magpies known as my co-workers and hear about little Kayleigh and Ashford ...
Not that surprised by all the antisocial responses here.
I can only go around 24 hours at home before I have to get out of the house. I could go longer without much social contact but only a few days. Being around people you like is fun.
R59, I do call and email friends. Several of my friends are very uncomfortable with my talking about anything to do with my illness, including treatment etc. Another friend is angry with me because I have accepted my diagnosis and he doesn't seem to think I'm doing enough to fight my condition with is not treatable.
R60, I did start a thread a while back. It was labeled an EST and got nasty. I'd rather not waste my time with that BS.
That last post was from R52
I'm only 24 and still a student but I've been enjoying solitude more and more with each year. There are periods when I'm really not in the mood for any kind of company for days and I won't even answer telephone calls from my closest friends then. And my perfect evening consist of scrolling through DL for an hour or two and then watching some cheesy 1980's movie or few episodes of Murder She Wrote. I know that makes me sound like a 70-year-old spinster, but I really couldn't care less what other people think about me.
R52 I'm really sorry that the thread got nasty. I hope you are getting some sort of support. Sorry, too, that you are sick. Hang in there. Some people do care.
[quote]Honestly a month. I'm a writer constantly interrupted by people and having to live in the world of people. I know I could write a whole novel and a damn good one if only I had one entire month of peace.
Sounds like Jack Torrance in The Shining.
I care about you too R52. You've been dealt a tough hand. Don't give up and find peace and hope where you can.
R71, you sound just like me except I'm 52 and disabled.
I walked away from my ob nine years ago and became a hermit. I don't miss human contact, in fact I shiver at the thought of having to be in the company of anyone at this point. The only thing I miss is dining out at truly great restaurants.
Everything else, I can do on my own.
Why can't you "dine out at really great restaurants" by yourself, R76? Is "table for 1" just too pathetic sounding for you? For me, it's not and I read something great while I eat. Yeah, total nerd introvert, but I do like dining out with other humans too once in a while.
R52 I honestly wish I could take you out to a great dinner. I really hope that you will be at the very least, feeling better soon(and free of the intestinal misery.)I'm truly sad that your friends appear to have abandoned you.
At least we have DL as a resource for some interaction. Let us know how you are feeling in the days to come. I'll keep you in my thoughts.
R77 Yes. I suppose that is the reason I stopped dining out. But I have reached a point where I just might be up for doing it as you said.
Damn whatever the other people think...they're not paying my tab or ordering my food. I think that I may have reached the age and point where I (almost) don't look for approval from without.
That would be so freeing.
Last intimate touch was my once-monthly hookup about a month ago. I'm dying here. I need to be touched and held beyond the "polite" business-related hug. Definitely not enough. It hurts.
R52, you have my sympathies. Please hang in there. Perhaps some sort of support group might help? Maybe your doctor could put you in contact with one.
R80, I'm not currently in a relationship and I miss affectionate human touch too. I read once that babies that are not touched often enough often have psychological problems in adulthood.
I live alone and work at home and although I'm on a lot of conference calls, I could easily go days without any real human contact other than that, especially this past bad winter. Sometimes I don't mind but after I've been on vacation with family and/or friends or spent a long weekend away with someone, I do find that I feel a bit lonely at first when I get back home.
R52, wishing you well.
I was diagnosed with leukemia some time ago and although I am on a good medication which could possibly prolong my life, I know I am on borrowed times. I have made my peace with it. Its OK!
"Oh my God. I'm back. I'm home. All the time, it was... We finally really did it ... You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!"
We are switching to the new platform for The DataLounge this weekend. All of our mobile users have been using it for over a week and all first time users have been using it for about a month - which adds up to well over one million users. So we're ready to end this phase of the testing and move everybody to the new site. (more)
And yes, we've changed the look and some of how it operates.
Yes, we know you just *hate* it in well in advance.
Yes, we know we suck.
Yes, we are the biggest suckers that ever sucked.
But it was time for a change and with the huge shift to mobile it was long overdue. We've taken this opportunity not only to update the look but also make major changes under the hood (or "bonnet" if you're either British or pretentious or both). And we have to prepare for 2016 - a presidential election year where we can normally expect to see a 60% jump in traffic (yes, we've seen 5 presidential elections so far…Christ we're old).
The site has a bunch - nay, plethora - of new features which will make the site more usable: better search, the ability to ignore posters and threads, see link previews, to pick up a thread where you left off, spam and malware filtering and more.
If you want you can go explore and see for yourself, Click here.
And while running the tests we've noticed two interesting reactions to the new system - people are spending more time on the site and more people that come stay around longer and look at more stuff. Both good things. Yay!
Possibly we've not slain all the dragons and there will be issues that come up during the switchover. There's a help button in the lower right hand corner of the page which you can use to send us bug reports.
Please include as much information about the hardware (PC, Mac, Tablet, Phone etc), operating system (Windows, Mac OS, Android, iOS etc) and browser (Chrome, Safari, Opera, Internet Explorer etc) that you are using as possible to help us replicate and fix the problem.
Please note that complaints about colors, fonts, icons and the like are not "bugs" - they are design choices that we've made and we expect one or two cases of world-class bitching. But they won't actually cause headaches, scurvy, heart attacks, Restless Leg Syndrome, Morgellon's Disease or the vapors (but have your smelling salts at hand just in case).
Talking to DataLounge servers. Please wait a moment...