Physically, you're fine until you reach 45. Then you start noticing the beginnings of age-related ailments like arthritis and rising blood pressure. It's not that bad though, because mentally you feel more even-keeled and able to deal with it. There's much less drama after about 40, so it kind of evens out.
Most of the time it feels like "What the fuck happened to me?" when you look in the mirror.
I got smarter, I think, or at least, more complex. I also started to feel how life really is finite. At 42, I am very much aware that there is probably more life passed than there is to come. As a younger man, 'the now' always seemed infinite, but now it seems so transitory.In a perverse way, that makes life seem more precious than it did when I was younger.
I agree with Rs 3/4/5 - you get to a place where you just don't suffer fools. And need to stretch more.
Fatigue. So energetic in the 20s. Then I hit 30 and just wasn't as much. Now at 43, I am always tired.
And the graying hair is fucking depressing sometimes.
If we had a single-payer healthcare system in this country, then when you had a strange pain that you were worried about, you could go see about it and talk with a professional.
Now as it stands, you don't want to be a "Nervous Nelly" so you just hope it goes away on its own.
Most of the strange, new aches and pains do – go away as strangely as they come – but one day you know you're going to ignore something that is really serious.
No one gets out of here alive, so you may as well have fun while you're here. And try to give a little of yourself back for the good of the universe and your fellowman.
The whole "seems like only yesterday" phrase finally makes real sense, as you do the math and realize that some event that's very fresh and dear in your mind happened already thirty years ago, and the next time that same amount of time passes (which seemed to fly by) - if you're lucky - you will be 80 years old!
I do remember my senior year in college like it was yesterday
You realize you need more rest, positive thoughts, weekly exercise, less sweets and starches, a solid support system of friends, a better diet, etc.
Living one day at a time rules :)
STFU R11. No one invites you to the party for a reason.
I'm forty-three and happier than I've ever been. I've been very physical my whole life, and I've maintained that. I run 2.5 miles every day, lift weights, and eat exceptionally clean.
I have no health issues whatsoever.
I'm at the height of my career (I'm a lawyer) professionally and financially.
I'm content, for the most part. I actually lived with the same guy for over twelve years but he was killed in an automobile accident four years ago.
The funny thing is that I've been seeing this guy who at 32 is significantly younger than I am, so I forget how old I am until music or film comes up.
The one thing that pisses me off is that I can't see to read up close anymore. I've taken to wearing one contact lens (mine are hard) in one eye to see things at a distance and another in the other eye to function as a bifocal. That sucks.
I'm happy though. I enjoy each day of my life and look forward to the next. I work hard not to take anything, not a thing, not even the bad stuff, for granted. My goal is to be aware of everything and practice present moment awareness.
As wonderful as life may be, it doesn't last forever. I want to be thankful for what I have.
Mostly, you get tired - low energy, tired of things, bullshit - fake people - your fuse grows shorter - you don't care about the same things anymore.
R5, what do u do for a living/ what's your highest education level?
R12, you're an ass.
I second R13 (but with less WINNER attitude) that I feel very good at 43, my career is sound, so is my health. but the best part is being surer of what to expect out of life and myself, I was an incredibly insecure 20-something. Now I'm happier and better off.
Op. I got richer, smarter, better looking and happier. You won't.
To all of the above, add enormous peace of mind from having enough consumer credit to buy whatever you need.
Save your money.
Save your money.
SAVE YOUR MONEY.
Was broke/luckily qual'd for disability/sucks, though
Whatever you think you want to be when you're 50, 60 or more, you have to start when you're younger. If you're a catty bitch now and want to be a nicer person, it's not going to happen by accident. If you don't start now, you'll just get cattier and bitchier. If you see a sweet little old lady, odds are good she was a sweet younger lady. For example, Donald Trump didn't just start to be an self-important, hypocritical blowhard once he got older, he was always a self-important, hypocritical blowhard. (And, most likely, he will die as one, though sooner rather than later would be great.)
For most people the transition is when your parents die, provided, of course, that they didn't die when you were younger and that you're still talking to them. But, for the most part, losing the first parent marks the first transition into "growing older." The death of a second parent just moves you up to the front of the line.
Another piece of advice: throw out stuff now, don't wait until your older. Downsize, donate, toss, sell, whatever. You do not need that much stuff. The one with the most toys does not win; they just have the most toys.
...until you're older....
I just turned 60, and agree with most of the posts so far. (esp r13 )
Healthwise I'm O.K. Beginnings of arthritis and blood pressure is slightly up. Apart from making "old man noises" when I bend down to pick up something, I am fine. A lot of people say I don't look 60, and maybe that's true. I have been so fortunate that I have friends I have known, love and trust for 40-50 years , a good career and a 35 year relationsip. God . . . Re- reading that, I sound like such a smug pratt. I guess I am lucky and I know it. try to keep positive, and never foget the restorative power of a sensible gin & tonic - or six!
57 here. Got to a point where I just don't give a rats ass about peoples stupid opinions. I don't argue anymore - just let them spew their lunacy and take my beliefs to the voting booth. So peace of mind, which I've never had.
But the physical thing. That sucks, but I've had friends who died in their 30's. (Cancer, cancer, cancer, murder, cancer) so the spider veins on my ankles, crepey skin and thinning hair don't worry me too much.
I was talking about this very subject with a friend today. I always got by on my boyish good looks. But boyish good looks don't fade, they crash and burn. Not pretty in my case.
I figure that if you have your health, financial security, friends and peace of mind it doesn't matter how old you are.
It is like a slap in the face when you realize that you will not live forever....when friends your age start dying- it is depressing.....you also don't hit the wall anymore when you masterbate- if you can even get it up that is. On the up side, you just don't give a shit about bullshit anymore.
[quote]when friends your age start dying
That started happening 30 years ago when I was 22!
R12 obviously needs more fiber.
After 40, both looks and energy go to shit a light speed. Aches and pains start after that too.
Yup, something somewhere on my body always hurts just a little. Mostly you tune it out. Any over-stressed joint will feel somewhat arthritic for months.
Decades of sock-wearing will rub away the hair around your ankles.
My balls hang very low, but they always did. Haven't noticed any change there.
Sometimes I think my mild hearing loss is a blessing.
My energy is just fine, but recovery time from exertion is longer. E.g., my cardio doesn't wear me out despite being enough to drop men half my age, but increasing the weight I lift leaves my muscles aching for days.
Your dick is made to be used. Use it. Unless you have a health problem, your dick will work just fine.
Almost nothing is worth getting upset. Many, many things are worth getting out of your comfort zone.
That's the main thing about getting older without getting old: FUCK (and I mean sideways with a FUCKING crowbar) YOUR FUCKING COMFORT ZONE.
Failing on that last one is what makes you old.
I'm 50 and have a great deal of arthritis, so my body hurts most of the time. My eyesite has declined and I'm tired a great deal of the time.
However, when I was 40 I cleaned up my act (quit drinking, adopted better eating habits, and lost 40 lbs) and I am very glad I did that. I know I would be in much worse shape if I hadn't cleaned up my act. My advice to you would be to adopt as many healthy habits as possible and you won't regret it.
48 here. Aging is not nearly as bad as I thought it would be, but of course this culture makes a lot of money of the fear of aging so it demonizes it. I do feel smarter and kinder and less controlled by externals. My concnetration is a lot better. Things just roll off my back much more easily.
That being said, I am a shallow bitch and I do spend $$ on my face, with IPL facials, injections, etc. I am female, btw. I'm a writer and not wealthy, but I go to the best injector in Connecticut because I feel the NYC ones are too heavy handed. I do regret how I wasted my youth; my time and money back then were precious and I didn't realize it. I was a bad drunk and wish I had that time back. Oh, and if you find either a great real estate deal or a great man--grab hold and don't let go. Those opportunities can make a big difference.
But all in all: Don't be scared, baby. And take care of your health.
Miss Barbara Stanwyck
The best aging advice you'll ever get: Start slathering on the sunscreen at as young an age as possible. Do it every day, do it without fail.
The advice I've heard from others that I've found actually has worked for me:
-Don't spend too much time in the sun and wear sunscreen.
-Eat a healthy diet and don't get too fat (you don't have to be fashionably skinny to be a healthy weight.)
-Find some kind of exercise you don't mind doing (it doesn't have to be that strenuous--walking will do) and get in the habit of doing it for at least half an hour on most days.
-Don't become a drunk or a druggie.
-Try to find something better to do with your life than just fucking around.
-Stay away from assholes and build good relationships with people you care about and who care about you too.
I'm 37 OP. Is that old? I don't think so, but to someone 20 - it sure is.
The only advice i can give is take care of your skin - especially your face, neck and hands. They are the first to show signs of aging. Work out - make sure you hit the gym at least a few times a week - this will help as your metabolism tends to slow down once you hit your 30's. Take care of your body, make sure you eat properly.
And remember, as we age are bodies become less resilient to illness. Things can change at the drop of a hat the moment you get sick, and suddenly you'll find yourself looking like shit. But don't let it get you down - start over from scratch (skincare, nutrition etc). Get on a routine and stick with it.
My body feels differently than it did in my twenties. I have back issues now (herniated disc and degenerative discs) so I have to be careful at the gym. I've thrown my back out a few times in the past few years which is the most painful thing ever. I've also gone through radiation treatments this past year, which wasn't the best for my skin. It was localized radiation at the neck and lower face area, which totally sucks being it was near my face. So my skin is slowly coming back to what it was last year but it's taking time. This time last year I could honestly say I looked much younger than 37. I was always mistaken for being in my twenties. Now, not so much I think. No, I don't look 40 or anything like that, but I'm not that young looking girl I use to be.
And you know what, the most important thing is - realizing that hey, we are all going to age and there is nothing we can do about it. Don't stress over it. Just be as healthy as you can be and take good care of yourself on the inside and outside. Other things are more important in life, why stress over the inevitable?
Agree with R32 - I started using sunscreen in my 20s, and at 47 I look several years younger than my two-years younger brother. He's got age spots and wrinkles galore, which I don't have.
My main regret health-wise is gaining about 60 pounds 15 years ago. Though I lost it within a few years, my skin elasticity, especially on my body, would be better if I hadn't gained/lost that weight. Don't starve yourself, but don't get fat if you can help it.
I did have a touch of arthritis in my thumbs and one knee that disappeared once I started taking cod liver oil and eating low carb a year ago. My only ailment now is my hip joint. I had one of those damn pillow-top mattresses, which began to sag in the middle. My hip started hurting so bad I couldn't sleep on that side. I just cut the top off and replaced it with a 2" memory foam, but my hip has yet to recover. Does anyone have any experience with mattress-caused pain? How long does it take to heal?
You're memories become more important than your future.
I love this thread :) Thanks :)
I'm only 40, the best advice I can say is don't take prescription drugs for depression/anxiety. Deal with your shit, fix it, don't mask it. I spent 8 years in a prescription haze.
I learned to work on more than my body, holding a conversation is more important than appearance unless you're shallow.
Floss, floss, FLOSS!
Waking up, looking in the mirror, and saying, "Who is THAT?!"
It's not for sissies.
From 20's to 30's - more tired, creases around eyes are visible, moisturizer is your constant companion, you look a little less "cute" and more haggard. a night of booze will knock you down for days. but you stop putting up with BS and know more about who you are and where you want to go. much more empathetic and understand the world. Family is more important.
R40, this "old age isn't for sissies" crap is the biggest pile of shit. True sissies have endured much more than old age.
I will be 56 in May. I'm lesbian 5'3" and 115 pounds. I have to be careful what I eat and I exercise every day.
The good is that I am financially secure and will be retiring in 7 weeks.
The bad is that I have much less energy than I did in my 20's. My body feels stiff and I don't have the stamina I used to have.
I plan to do some long distance backpacking this summer, but I doubt I could hike the Pacific Crest Trail from Mexico to Canada. Even if I could, most of the backpackers are in their 20s. That makes me sad to think of a lost opportunity.
I do like the emotional maturity that I have now. Like others have said, things don't get to me like they did when I was younger.
Probably the biggest bummer of all is that my parents have both passed on. I miss them every day.
Like everything else, there is both good and bad.
You wake up every day with some part of your body hurting. You start to care less and less what others think of you. You start to notice how drastically the world has changed during your lifetime such that the world as you knew it while growing up no longer exists. You realize you're old when your friends become grandparents. You're no longer interested in having your photo taken. You prefer comfortable clothes over stylish ones. It gets increasingly more difficult to stay up late. You prefer a quiet night at home rather than a loud bar. You have to wear reading glasses constantly. You forget what you had for dinner last night but remember in explicit detail what you purchased from a snack vendor machine during the first all nighter you pulled freshman year in college. You increasingly dread the calls notifying you of a loved one's demise.
Um, r42? "Old age" means more than sagging skin.
Perhaps one can infer "The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks/ That flesh is heir to"?
For me, it's the passage of time that is perplexing. When you are in high school or college, those 4 year periods feel like entire lifetimes. Now that I'm 50 - I swear to god 10 year periods fly by like it was an instant.
I just turned 50 in the fall. For me it was the definite realization that there is more time behind me than ahead of me, and the feeling that I'm running out of time.
I don't feel any older on the inside, but my body is betraying me. Eyes failing, getting drunk takes 3 days to recover and aches and pains that slow me down when I want to get out there and go. Every once in a while I see a reflection of my Dad in the mirror and I think "that can't be, he died 20 years ago".
Less time for bullshit from people, especially people you thought of as friends. I find that I'm finally giving friends that are never the ones to call me the heave-ho.
I can relate to much of what others have said. I never expected to live this long. I'm a cancer survivor... sometimes I think "I fought so hard to feel THIS shitty first thing in the morning?" ;-)
It's a time to become a master solitaire player. If you think you enjoy taking a dump today, you have only good things to look forward to with advancing age. Laundry gets much easier because of the disposable underwear and bedding. Your farts make far less distinct noises and sometimes it's no just a fart. If you haven't had implants, you gums hurt after every meal. You have to get used to getting distemper shots from all the dogs biting your ball when you walk outside. You get really round shoulders from your tits slipping off your knees, it's even worse for females. There are no comfortable positions for anything because you have no supporting tissue between you bones and your epidermis. You drool a lot so you don't look all puffy. In your dreams you die a lot.
I'm 60. No aches and pains. No health issues. No medications. I work an 8-10 hr day in the office. I walk to and from work... and home and back for lunch. At least an hour of walking (fast) everyday. I have never driven a car. I work in a creative field. My boss is 28 years old. I have all my hair. It's gray... and I'd never color it. Weight normal.
Hearing and eye sight are worse. My dick is not feisty as it once was. It seems like I can only eat a fraction of what I used to...of even 5 years ago...otherwise I gain weight, so I'm on a perpetual diet.
But otherwise I feel great. Of course bad news could be right around the corner...you never know.... so I appreciate every day of this.
I couldn't believe how quickly I got bored of sex. I was an outrageous whore in my 20s so maybe I wore the whole thing out, but by 32 I was like, "Oh, not more sex, if I have one more orgasm I'll scream!"
At 56, I don't look like I once did (I recall a straight female friend telling me that, on meeting me back in the day, her straight female friend told her that I was the most handsome man she had ever seen), but I've kept my weight down, between 165-175 (I'm 6'1"), don't smoke or drink, have avoided the ravages of the sun, and have worked out regularly for over 30 years (it's true, as has been posted, how critical it is to find a routine that you can religiously practice - in my case, it's been squats with light weights). And, perhaps not inadvertently, I've so far, at least, kept my health & have avoided nagging injuries & pain. As a result, I'm very satisfied with my appearance & physical well-being at my advanced age.
The single most important thing to prepare yourself for old age is to stop drinking, drugging, and smoking.
You can get away with being a little heavy (actually benficial in your fifties and beyond) and wrinkles are no biggie.
But if you continue to drink, smoke, and take bad drugs you will look like hell by sixty, maybe fifty, perhaps forty.
Stop drinking and smoking by forty. Whatever it fucking takes. Even if you have to put on thirty pounds, fucking do it. And no, you don't have to go to AA or a rehab--just do it, asshole.
Then after you are clean and sober start an exercise program that you enjoy. think of yourself as an athlete, even if you are a klutzy dork. It iwll be fun for you.
Narcissists will bring you down in life. find nice people to hang out with. If there are no nice people around, stay alone. Have pets. Narcissists will drain you of your life, time, and money.
Many gay people are narcissists so best of luck to you all!
[quote]What happened as you transitioned from your 20's to your 30's to your 40's to your 50's to you 60's and onward?
I've become increasingly intolerant of those who verbify.
It suks in so many ways, yet the good stuff outweighs the bad...
r46, you share my exact point at r10
r52 is bitter and shallow. There's more to aging than his huge points of concern (what you look like and how others perceive you). There's REAL health (not what you look like), real states of minds (not who's gonna hurt you - who DID hurt you so much that you're so bitter r52? - is that what drove you to drink excessively?), and real aches and pains.
I like the 43 year olds acting like they got it all figured out.