You'll have to excuse me, I have explosive diarrhea.
"Well, I need to let you go. Talk to you later"
If on the phone
If in person.
"I need to get a drink" OR say you need to speak to someone else if you're in a crowded place and know other people
OR just say
Well, I will let you get on with your day, etc)
When in doubt, always direct your ending comment at the other person.. meaning you're going to let them move on... Always works
See you around?
Talk to you later?
WTF OP, what are you a caevman?!
Laugh, nod, turn your attention to your phone and start texting.
Not exactly polite, but I usually bring up Lena Dunham. That often does the trick.
I hate to cut you off, my dryer is buzzing.
Just tell them you have an incoming call from someone you like better.
I knew a woman who would do this when she got tired of talking to a neighbor lady. She'd move the switchhook up and down while saying "Hello, hello," adding "the son of a bitch hung up on me." Then she'd slam the handset down. If the woman called back, she wouldn't answer.
"You're boring me."
You say in an insistent voice, "It's time this conversation has come to an end!," and then you slam your telephone down into the receiver.
Punch and delete.
I got into a friendly enough discussion with my neighbor the other day. It degraded into a lecture about the In's and out's of roofing (his profession) twenty minutes into it I just don't know what to do. I can't absorb any more information about gutters than I already have so I said " you know speaking of rain....eh ....eh.... I got to go" and walked away. I still feel a little bad about that
End a conversation on the phone?
I need to take the dog out.
I need to go to the laundry room.
I have to get the casserole in the oven.
I have therapy.
I'm late for my AA meeting.
Just place your hands over your ears.
"Gotta go. My partner just fell out the window".
With tears and a journey.
I have a friend you cannot get off the phone. So I only answer her calls when I know I have a half- hour to spare. And that's a short conversation with her.
Now is the usual time for my fleet enema, thank you
Hey it was good catching up with you. Take care.
OK, I'm done with you.
You may go now.
This conversation is over.
I need you to leave now.
A wonderful friend, happened to be a rc nun who taught college students speech/drama, and gay men self-love/respect, ended conversations (in her office) with the sweet offer "would you care for a mint before you go."
Do you like the person or not?
We have a very annoying colleague at work.
Today my co-worker mentioned pay, and he left immediately. Another topic that works with this guy is anything to do with his computer at work. He is computer-illiterate and gets very nervous whenever we mention the COMPUTER - and usually leaves.
"I think we'll leave it there for today."
I have a coworker who can trap you for awhile. I'll usually stand up and grab my coffee cup or water bottle to indicate I'm going to the staff room, or I'll say I have to go to the bathroom. I'll, basically, do anything that gets me out of the office. I love it when the phone rings when she comes it, but the damn thing never rings when she comes around.
Pretend to faint.
Saw an item in a catalogue which you could click to make it sound like Call Waiting tripped. Good excuse to say good bye.
This is the funniest thread we've had in a long time. Thank you, OP!
On the phone
Would you excuse me? I cut my foot before and my shoe is filling up with blood.
Well, it has been a pleasure but I know how busy you are. Have a great day!
Just leave without saying anything.
Well, this has all been very lovely, but surely you must rest your fine vocal chords now.
You say, "You're boring me, stop being that way."
You could say, "Thank you for talking with me, I was afraid to kill myself, now I'm looking forward to it."
"if I told you, you talk to much, you probably would never speak to me again. I can't think of anything that would give me greater joy."
I always tell my dad I have to pee. He calls me about 14 times a day. Yesterday, he sat on my porch ringing my bell for 5 hours. When I do answer the phone, he screams for about 3.5 hours about all the horrible things the people involved with the imaginary conspiracy have done to him. Yesterday, he only left 7 voicemails in between the five hours of ringing my doorbell.