My mother and I were in another argument. No matter what I did, she would find something wrong with it. Then my father got involved and they had a huge argument. My dad argued if you don't allow people to make mistakes then how will they learn*? My mother retaliated do people have to make mistakes when they are learning, isn't it possible for them to observe others and get it right. What do you think of all this?
*(My mom has refuse to let me do anything since I was very little. She would find various ways to stop what I was doing by saying that I was doing it wrong [even though many at times it was my first time doing it] and why she should do it and I should do something more productive and she did this for every aspect of my life. She, in a sense, almost crippled me.)
Buck never would have made a mistake!
Good lord your mother sounds crazy, OP
This is so not interesting.
R2, both my dad and I suspect that she has histrionic personality disorder. My dad has made the observation that if she can't be a part of something, then it must not exist.
Sounds like she's intensely controlling, with an overwhelming need to keep you dependent.
Couldn't you just send her off to Shady Pines, OP?
My parents were kind of like that in regards to household stuff...I never had to do a single chore as a kid because I wouldn't have been able to do it right....there was a specific procedure to taking out the trash, doing the laundry, vacuuming, mowing the lawn etc. They had to do it their way.
OP = Norman Bates
op's post has absolutely no similarity to Norman Bates' story r8....but thanks for playing.
She sounds Borderline & Bipolar and it seems a whole lot of gay men have this exact same type of mother.
OP, get away from that environment as soon as you can. Otherwise you'll be pushing 30 and still not know how to send a letter through the mail.
True story: one of my colleagues, who was 28 or 29 at the time, believed postage was proportional to the weight of the mail. Basically, she didn't know how to assess the price for an package. She didn't know there were different prices up until such-and-such weight. I could hardly believe she did not know this and she was truly offended when I unintentionally laughed in her face.
Stuff like this can really handicap you....I have a friend (he's 30) whose parents did everything for him ....especially when it came to college and arranging his student loans and paying them off. (he had to pay the money but they do all the paperwork) Just the other day I had to explain to him what interest on a loan is. He had no idea that they add money to the principle for letting you borrow it.
OP, are you still reading this from home where your mother is? When do you plan to move out?
Yeah, there's no correcting that situation from the inside. Get out, now. I had family like that growing up, and a boyfriend since. Some people have OCD like requirements for everything, and if you don't do it precisely their way it's all wrong and you'll hear about it. If you have to be around this type of person, best to just let them do everything, because anything else is more hassle than it's worth. But then you get the shaming and guilt dropping of 'I have to do everything around here' and 'you're no help', etc. etc. So yeah, run.
OP, your mom and I conversed via text.
We agreed that your post is uninteresting and badly formatted and you're not pretty enough for me to help at this time.
Perhaps you should lurk and observe until you're ready to make original posts.
[quote]She, in a sense, almost crippled me.
I had a mother very similar to this. My mother was also an alcoholic with bipolar disorder and a secondary addiction to prescription painkillers. I am way behind other people my own age in terms of emotional maturity and life skills, and even after years of therapy, I still feel a lot of anger and resentment towards my mother, especially when my dad and sister admitted that all of us become better people when she is not around. My advice is to try to break free of the family; the earlier, the better.
"Oh my God. I'm back. I'm home. All the time, it was... We finally really did it ... You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!"
We are switching to the new platform for The DataLounge this weekend. All of our mobile users have been using it for over a week and all first time users have been using it for about a month - which adds up to well over one million users. So we're ready to end this phase of the testing and move everybody to the new site. (more)
And yes, we've changed the look and some of how it operates.
Yes, we know you just *hate* it in well in advance.
Yes, we know we suck.
Yes, we are the biggest suckers that ever sucked.
But it was time for a change and with the huge shift to mobile it was long overdue. We've taken this opportunity not only to update the look but also make major changes under the hood (or "bonnet" if you're either British or pretentious or both). And we have to prepare for 2016 - a presidential election year where we can normally expect to see a 60% jump in traffic (yes, we've seen 5 presidential elections so far…Christ we're old).
The site has a bunch - nay, plethora - of new features which will make the site more usable: better search, the ability to ignore posters and threads, see link previews, to pick up a thread where you left off, spam and malware filtering and more.
If you want you can go explore and see for yourself, Click here.
And while running the tests we've noticed two interesting reactions to the new system - people are spending more time on the site and more people that come stay around longer and look at more stuff. Both good things. Yay!
Possibly we've not slain all the dragons and there will be issues that come up during the switchover. There's a help button in the lower right hand corner of the page which you can use to send us bug reports.
Please include as much information about the hardware (PC, Mac, Tablet, Phone etc), operating system (Windows, Mac OS, Android, iOS etc) and browser (Chrome, Safari, Opera, Internet Explorer etc) that you are using as possible to help us replicate and fix the problem.
Please note that complaints about colors, fonts, icons and the like are not "bugs" - they are design choices that we've made and we expect one or two cases of world-class bitching. But they won't actually cause headaches, scurvy, heart attacks, Restless Leg Syndrome, Morgellon's Disease or the vapors (but have your smelling salts at hand just in case).
Talking to DataLounge servers. Please wait a moment...