Let's list some.
'Oh God, I love your new haircut!'
I've never seen Mamma Mia!
"You look so much younger than your age!"
Dick size doesn't matter to me at all.
I got my HIV test results back. Clean as a whistle.
"What a clever thread!"
"I'll buy the next round"
You know, you could really pass as straight!
Let's do lunch!
"You're looking great!"
"You'll find the right guy!"
"No shade, but..." (Passive aggressive bullshit statement before throwing actual 'shade')
"We're in an open relationship" - but it's just one person in the couple saying this. Yeah, okay...
"We don't really have an open relationship, but we make exceptions!"
I'm a virgin. Or "Renewed virgin".
"I was just tested."
"I don't have anything."
"I don't do drugs."
"I'm ready to settle down."
"I love you."
I'm here with a friend.
I can afford that.
I am happy. You look happy.
I LOVE what you have done with the place!
Don't worry, those pills aren't going to kill you.
Don't worry, just a couple of more minutes in the gym and you have that flabby ass/gut disappear in no time.
I keep reading this thread title as "Little white girls that gay men tell each other"
I don't tell any kind of lie. Even if it's about something trivial like appearance. I'm not outwardly mean but I don't lie. I just don't believe in it. Never have.
"Love what you've done with the place! Shabby chic really is the coolest. Who wants nice new furniture anyway?"
"No shade, but . . "
You know people who actually say that?
'you can have a family if you want'
"I never do hook-ups!"
That Helen Lawson bit is STILL hysterically funny, gurl!
R16 eats the giant, moldy turds of homeless people.
My Republican dad will come around and tell me he loves me when I denounce all the sordid gay stuff *snort coke line*.
R13 is lying for sure.
I detest Liza and Barbra.
You're earrings are fabulous!
Your caftan is Di-Vine
LOVE love love the books piled up everywhere! It is so cutting edge!
"I'm a top."
People really SAY all this shit? I don't do white lies, either. Just say something nice or shut the hell up. And tell the truth KINDLY.
"I've never done this before."
Bitch, what are you talking about? You don't look a day over 29!
You found a boyfriend? I am so happy for you!
Oh, it sure looks like you had a blast at the White Party based on your smartphone pics.
I hooked up with Taylor Lautner, but don't tell anybody or he'll kill me or worse: Never call me again!
I don't watch porn.
She's such a slut, (clutching pearls), I could never have sex on the first date.
R13 is a perfect example.
It's only a cold sore.
No, I'm not a slut. My hole was mangled in a bizarre gardening accident.
Besides you, I've only been with two other guys.
No Honey. No one notices your bald spot.
God, you turn me on!!!
I'm strictly a top.
No, those aren't warts. They're birthmarks.
The check is in the mail.
Just tell me when to stop.
I dated a guy for a while who would compliment everything about my life he disliked. I could see it in his eyes that he hated something, then he'd say, "Oh that's cute!" or "Oh, how fun" or the worst "Yayyy".
Once he slipped and sputtered, "Do you EVER smile?". It was over soon after that.
Trust me, nobody's going to check your bag and find the party favors.