Why I hate Grindr, Scruff, Squirt, Manhunt ... et al

It's not because I'm anti-sex or anti-slutty hookup. I'm not. I just find the sexual media method of hooking up extremely frustrating and ultimately unsuccessful. I end up chatting with guys I'm not attracted to because I don't want to be rude. And when I DO chat with someone I'm interested in it never goes anywhere. Just endless chat. No hook up. Sure, I've chatted with guys who seemed nice and interesting and who could be potential friends. But that ever goes anywhere either. No one ever meets. If I want to get laid I would much rather connect with an existing FB or go to a bathhouse. It's much more matter of fact. These hook up apps are creating an entire generation of queerlings who have no social or sexual skills.

• they don't make it easier.

• You're a whore, darlin'

• Social media has replaced bars for the S&M crowd: stand and model. All talk and BS, no action.

• I quit all of it. ALL of it! And then I met a great guy.

• What R4 says.

• It's all about the intention. What do you want and where did you get what you want based on past experiences? It's one thing to be open for new ways to meet people, but it's downright masochistic to go back to something that didn't work out for you several times before.

• They have social skills and sexual skills, Gramps. They're just different from those of your generation is all. It's a completely different world now; to get through it, you need a different set of social skills than those that people had pre-1990s.

• [quote]It's a completely different world now; to get through it, you need a different set of social skills than those that people had pre-1990s. You mean like interpersonal skills? The ability to carry on an actual conversation with a live human being? Good manners? Etiquette? Writing? Those are fairly universal skills that you still need to function in the world. Even today's world.

  OP

• Good for you OP, don't do it and leave those who do alone.

  Now%20run%20along%20and%20get%20a%20blog

• What's funny is that to the guys you're chatting with that you are interested in and yet it doesn't go anywhere? To that guy you're the guy they're chatting with because they don't want to be rude, but don't find you remotely attractive.

• Oh shit, manners.

  Mrs. Sampson

• you know it is going nowhere but Annoyingtowne when that first word that comes at you is "sup?"

• They somewhat remind me of the old gay.com. I used to hook up on that regularly. After a while it became the same old guys. Grindr and scruff are the same. I don't have a profile on either, but do open the app everyone in a while. Without fail 80% of the profiles shown were the same ones I saw last time. At least 2 guys have the same pic now as they did on gay.com I go to the bars when I'm horny, usually find someone no problem.

• [quote]To that guy you're the guy they're chatting with because they don't want to be rude, but don't find you remotely attractive. There is certainly that possibility. I'm not saying there isn't. But I'm not as persistent as some guys seem to be. If there's obviously no reciprocal interest I won't pursue further. Anyway, it's all moot now. I'm done with all that. I feel free and not chained to my iPhone.

  OP

• BREAKING NEWS! Bathhouse slut complains that social networking apps aren't fast enough for her!

• OP, people who complain about Manhunt et al are boring. You haven't figured out how to make social networking work for you. Manhunt is not a menu. You still have to have social skills to get what you want. I guess lying face down at a bathhouse works better for you. More obvious, less challenging.

• Each time someone message me I reply.. "Do you want to suck me, or am I going to fuck you?' They respond, if affirmative I respond... "Address? Now cunt I'm horny." This is what works when it comes to social skills on these apps. Conversation is not a part of it, nor are any real social skills. Upon entering the apartment (50% of the time the door is unlocked and they are naked) I tell them to 'get to work'.

• R4, I quit all of it... and now I'm just alone.

• They're just not that into you. If you were hot, guys would have no problem meeting up with you. Trust me.

  MH%20ambassador

• R18, you're better off. Most of the stains using those hook-up apps lie about everything from marital status to HIV status. Idiots, the lot of them.

  Anonymous

• This is why gay people will never get any respect or be accepted. You can't think past your dick.

  the%20truth%20fairy

• R21...so?

• R21 - You know straight people have sex too, right? Lots of it. Go on Xhamster and search for "orgy" or "swingers" and be amazed. And a little disgusted.

• [quote]This is why gay people will never get any respect or be accepted. You can't think past your dick. Half of the gay population doesn't have a dick. Oh--and straight guys can't think past their dicks, either. Haven't you noticed?

• OP, you're absolutely right. Technology has almost never assisted in ensuring a sexual contact along desired expectations, except when it involves a phone call to a reputable agency with plenty of cash behind it. PLUS cam4 and the like have further supported development of a cohort of no-touch, game-playing asses for whom the notion of actual physical contact is neither expected nor wanted. But that's only for the people who rely on those tools. Go on. Get out there in the real world where real men are hungry for real sex with another real man!

• "Half of the gay population doesn't have a dick." You mean bottoms, right?

• It's a valid complaint, but it's pretty much applicable to social media in general: it discourages people from actual social interaction and from developing the skills to even be able to engage in actual social interaction. We shouldn't be surprised that the consequences extend to sex, which is kind of the ultimate arbiter of social skill.

• Oh please, R27. MH is just like the real world - there's something for everyone if you know how to present yourself and not just in terms of appeal to other people but in terms of attracting the right people for you. There are just as many idiots in the real world as there are online - technology hasn't transformed them, they were always that way.

• Desperation is not an aphrodisiac. Say in your profile what you are looking for, have the relaxed open minded 'whatever' attitude during chats, and focus / enjoy the hook-ups that do happen. I've seen more average looking guys scoring hot dates and hookups that way than desperate drugged out model type guys who look for their next fix (of drugs and sex - preferrably both at the same time).

• R17 is proof of how little we've evolved since we split from the apes.

• R28, sweetie, you do realize that those in the "real world" and those online are the same people--just interacting differently, and that is the whole point? They aren't different populations? I'm sure that hiding behind a keyboard feels good for you, so it's hard to hear that you are indeed hiding and dysfunctional. But it's good for you.

• There are certain social cues and interpersonal subtleties that social media can never duplicate. Not to mention a very primal sexual attraction one person has for another. You have to be in a person's physical presence to know if you REALLY want to fuck them. That can't happen online. All you see there are tiny little photos of faces, cocks, and asses.

• OP, Mayor Bloomberg is on to you and he's pushing hard for a new law that limits the quantity of cum you can swallow in a single day.

• How old are you OP?