Alternate ways of coming out for people too scared to say "I'm gay"
1.Start dating Taylor Swift
2.Become a right-wing, anti-gay politician and pose for fitness magazines as "America's fittest congressman"
Claim you're too busy to date.
Always manage to use the last stall on the left in the airport bathroom.
Have your mom be your date to the Oscars.
No one who's dated Taylore Swift is gay. No one gay would date Taylor Swift.
Have a girlfriend in Canada.
Wear pink shirts and turquoise belts; Buy doggy sunglasses.
Walk your dog in the park in London in the middle of the night and lend your cellphone to a complete stranger.
Start doing all your dating in Europe.
Join the Church of Scientology.
Jump up and down on Oprah's couch.
Just say you are just a dude "who is into dudes." A lot of dudes say that today and never use the word "gay."
Tell everyone your girlfriend's Canadian.
Say you're bi.
Force yourself to watch "Valley of the Dolls". It'll get those words out of ya' pne way or another.
Marry gay men
Describe the ballet scene from "Black Swan" as a-MAY-zing!
I managed about a dozen people at a job. I did not discuss my sexuality there but knew there was speculation.
We were on break and there had been talk about one of our co workers that was screwing another worker. They were like dogs in heat and the conversation turned to what a stud he must be. I said " We've all had him and he isn't that good". They all laughed and I think they got the drift.
Marry a bat shit crazy Congresswoman in Minnesota!
Resign from a high-profile job and claim it's because you want to spend more time with your family.
Appear to date girls with whom you have absolutely no chemistry.
"Yes, a piece of pie sounds great, but I think I'll stroll next door and suck the cum out of Mr Millers cock"
Blast Liza Minnelli, Barbra Streisand, Madonna & Mariah CD's exclusively every day, loud enough for all the neighbors to hear.
Open a gay reparative therapy center...in Minnesota.
^ or buy a tuquoise belt and a pink gingham shirt from the ladies' section at J.Crew
Marry Liza Minnelli!Stalk Bette Midler!Invite Megan Fox and Evan Rachael Wood,two bisexual babes,over for dinner,give them new clothes and offer to do their interior decorating and tell them they have to leave early because your football buddy is coming over to watch Brokeback Mountain with you!And say that's your favorite makeout movie!And if your a lesbian,invite a male stripper or George Clooney or Daniel Craig home,offer to fix his car and tell him if he takes one article of clothing off,you'll do a Lorraina Bobbitt on him.
ALSO TELL YOUR DAD YOU'RE GOING OUT WITH A CHEERLEADER...SO YOU CAN BORROW HER DRESS!AND LESSIES,TELL YOUR FOLKS YOU'RE GOING OUT WITH A HUNKY MARINE...BECAUSE YOU WANT TO EMULATE HIS HAIRCUT!!THAT MEANS COPY!ALSO SAY WELL-HUNG GUYS MAKE YOU FEEL SO...JEALOUS!! AND BOYS,JULIANNE HOUGH GETS YOU SO...JEALOUS!!HOW DOES SHE STAY SO THIN??AND YOU HEARD SHE AND MEGAN FOX ARE REAL BITCHES!!AND ISN'T IT SOOOO GROSS HOW MEGAN ONCE HAD THE HOTS FOR A STRIPPER??TACKY!! ONLY PAT BOONE OR LAWTRENCE WELK WOULDN'T GET THE HINT THEN!
Vote for that dipshit Obama.
I eat the contents of old peoples' colostomy bags and love every delicious morsel.
[quote]Claim you're too busy to date.
Exactly. Whenever people (especially good-looking guys) say this, I immediately think "GAY!". Even if you don't have time for a proper relationship, everyone has time to go on the occasional date.
Become a vocal anti-gay televangelist.
Date glittery ballroom dancers, and have their flaming brothers hang out at your house.
Then mysteriously break off with her when the brother leaves
Come out...as a Republican.
Claim you majored in Drama because that's where all the pretty girls were on campus.
Along the same lines as r38, become a dancer or cheerleader because "you get to lift and fondle the chicks, even grabbing around their privates."
Let your male 'roommate' be your plus one at family gatherings.
Facebook. Have pictures of you and your lover on your facebook account and set your relationship stutus to: It's complicated.
Add 'confirmed bachelor' on your business card.
Let waving rainbow flags in and outside your home during Pride do the talking.
Make a sextape and accidently share it with your family and friends.
Surprise your family members by leaving all your posessions to your life long roommate.
Announce in interviews you'd be a gynecologist if you couldn't be an actor. You know, because you just love poon so much!
Do what my friend did accidentally.
When his brother said that his bachelor party would involve female strippers he instinctually said "ewww".
His brother looked over at their dad and said "told you, you owe me $50"
[quote]Do what my friend did accidentally. When his brother said that his bachelor party would involve female strippers ...
Who's bachelor party? Your friend's or his brother's? Makes a huge comedic difference in the story.
Don't get too comfortable with pronouns
Oops - Whose, not Who's....
Marry a woman, have babies with her, pick up female hookers, frequent female strip clubs, pay no attention to gay guys, etc.
"Claim you majored in Drama because that's where all the pretty girls were on campus."
Yep! I can't tell you how many actors have used this line.
Another one they use is claiming they only got into acting aftering injuring themselves playing basketball/football/whatever! "Dude, I never would have considered something as faggy as drama, but then I broke my leg playing football and I had no other choice!"
What the heck does eating a colostomy bag have to do with being gay?Are you trying to come out as gay or the test-tube baby of Divine and G.G.Allen?He was a rocker who ate his own crap onstage?
Leave your Facebook "Interested in'' section blank.
I'M NOT INTERESTED IN SOME GUY EATING HIS CRAP ONSTAGE.I READ ABOUT G.G.ALLEN IN A BOOK ON ROCK AND ROLL. HE HAS TO BE THE SICKEST ROCKER EVER.AND EVERYBODY KNOWS DIVINE ATE DOF-GRAP IN THE PINK FLAMINGOES MOVIE.i THINK IT WAS. MY FORMER STEPDAD HAD A COLOSTOMY BAG BECAUSE IT HURT HIM TO CRAP AND HE WASN'T GAY.HE THOUGHT HE WAS JAMES BOND,SO WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH COMING OUT,UNLESS YOU'RE LIKE ONE GAY GUY I KNEW WHO LIKED TO EAT ASSES OUT,AND I GUESS A MAN COULD EAT A WOMAN'S ASS OU TOO,SO A COLOSTOMY BAG HAS LITTLE TO DO WITH BEING GAY.
Girls, girls, simmer down.
I am a Bro for Bro.
Talk about how much you love vagina
Claim your mother's Ethel Merman.
Claim that you don't speak of your personal life because you are a very private person.
Be loud (an attention whore).
Another alternate way to come out is just to reveal; not be emotional; turn to the person and act like you assume he/she already knew.
Be loud and ballsy like most faceless DL fags here.
When your family tries to fix you up with a woman, explain to them you've "already got irons in the fire," and some day you'll have to introduce them to "Carlotta."
Bring your mom as a date at a première. Fraus will be happy.
Declare Amelia Earhart your choice for the Greatest Figure in American History. Works for both genders.
One guy ,when asked Mary-Ann or Ginger in a soap magazine interview,said "Mrs.Howell." That pretty much makes it clear.Or a dyke can say,"I hate Fabio!I think he's sleeping with my wife!" Nuf said?
yo bro, your bod is tight, yo.
I like OP's #1. One lunch or dinner with Taylor Swift and everyone will know. It's usually painless and drama-free... unless she decides to write a damn song about it. I didn't have to suffer that one.